I studied visual art in school. After graduating, I was exploring different career paths in Los Angeles that would also give me the time and space to create. I heard from an acquaintance that she was making an income through webcamming—performing erotic acts like stripping, masturbating, and chatting with clients on the other end of the computer—so I decided to try it for myself.
At first, it was difficult for me to interact or have a rapport with my live viewers while filming. Because I’m an introverted person, my partner at the time began appearing alongside me, since he was more engaging with fans. I even started smoking weed on camera to give myself something to do with my hands and my mouth.
This became a habit for me, and so I made it a part of my on-camera persona. I decided to go by the first name Jade—because I like the stone—and the last name Kush, given my penchant for smoking on screen.
I was discovered by an agency, and I never looked back.
While working on my webcam career, I was scouted by an adult talent agent, who told me there was an agency interested in signing me to make videos for their pornography company. From there, I transitioned away from webcam work and started acting in more traditional adult videos.
Among other things, porn has allowed me to explore a different side of myself at age 23. I was always quiet in school. People knew me to be reserved, always sitting behind my easel making my oil paintings. While performing, though, I get to inhabit this alternative persona. It’s an outlet, and I enjoy the way porn invites me to evoke a different side of my energy, one that elicits a reaction from the viewer.
And while acting in adult films has provided me with opportunities and financial security, there are downsides to the industry that I’ve experienced as an actress of color. This is why I’m trying to speak up.
Asian performers are an undeniable presence in the adult film industry. The most searched term on Pornhub in 2021 was "Hentai"—a category of Japanese manga and anime known for sexualizing characters—and the most visited overall category was "Japanese." But despite their popularity, Asian women are uniquely impacted by mischaracterizations and stereotypes in ways that white women are not—often due to the fetishization of Asian actors in videos and, as a result, of people off-screen.
I try to avoid the news because it's upsetting for me to see the rise in attacks against Asian people, especially Asian women. To me, these incidents indicate that the perception of Asian people needs to change—whether it be in relation to COVID-19, women's sexualities, or beyond. It’s time for the violence and racism to end.
As an Asian woman, I’ve experienced fetishization during my on-camera work.
I've been aware of Asian women's fetishization for as long as I can remember. Whether it was while dating a non-Asian guy who was a little too into Asian culture or seeing the way we've been historically depicted as sex objects in the broader media landscape. In porn, these slights often manifest as having Asian women play roles that reduce them to their race alone, making them a caricature of their cultural identity instead of simply a person performing a sexual act.
So when I made the decision to go into this profession, I vowed I'd never take on roles that would perpetuate racist stereotypes about Asian women—even though I know this is an issue that cannot be solved by one person alone. This has led me to set clear boundaries with directors who have requested I take on acts that I’m not particularly comfortable doing.
For example, I’ve been asked to wear clothing that doesn’t match my cultural background as a Chinese woman, which conveys the message that Asian women are monolithic. On set, I’ve been asked to speak Japanese and Chinese, and I've even received requests to talk in broken English, despite having lived in the United States for almost my entire life. Both of my parents are English teachers. I’m not going to pretend I don't speak the language fluently for someone else's entertainment.
I’ve promptly denied these requests when they've come up. Still, there are times when I don’t have as much control over my content or the way my work is portrayed, particularly once it’s out in the world and distributed by various sites and companies.
There are two instances of overt racism that stick out for me.
When I make videos, I sign a release form allowing the company to distribute the scenes I've filmed to any number of their sites. Once a video is made, it can be posted on any of their social platforms.
Translation: Oftentimes, I don’t know where a video is going to end up. I’m not informed of its whereabouts or how it’s being promoted, which is standard practice for most actresses in the industry.
I was in a pretty normal video about a year ago. In one scene, I was working out on an elliptical machine, and a man approaches me. We start having sex. Later, when I was tagged in the video on Twitter by the company I worked with, I saw that they were promoting it with the title "Cum Dim Sum."
I was disgusted. I thought, Who would let this through? Who would allow this language to be used? I refused to promote the video, and I told the director that I wasn’t okay with how it was being presented. They understood and apologized for the title, though I don’t think the video was ever actually removed or that the title was changed.
There was another instance that happened days after the Young’s Asian Massage parlor shootings in Atlanta. A recent standard massage video I did was being promoted online, and they titled it "Asian Massage Invasion."
Because the words "Asian Massage" were trending, it was pretty clear to me that they used those words in order to boost the video’s engagement. It was extremely distasteful, and the decision was rooted in racism. Again, I refused to promote the video, and despite my complaints, nothing was done to remedy the situation.
Ultimately, what I’ve learned from these experiences is that some people don’t actually care about the performers, especially when those performers are Asian women. It’s like they don’t remember there are real people behind the camera—which can feel dehumanizing.
Like anyone, I'd rather not be depicted in the context of these racial stereotypes. And when you look at the recent violent attacks against the Asian community, you can clearly see how racist tropes in porn might follow us into real life. What is seen in media about Asian communities applies to our day-to-day lives, and how people perceive Asians in real life also comes through in media. They're a reflection of each other.
Now, I’m taking more control over how I’m portrayed in my work—but the industry still needs to change.
During the pandemic, I took a break from my in-person, on-set acting for a while, which led me to transition my following to OnlyFans. I’ve found that I enjoy making videos on this platform much more, as I’m in complete control of my content. If I don’t want to do something, I don’t have to. And I don’t run the risk of having a video promoted online in a way that upsets me.
It’s also amazing to me that I can be my own boss at this age, and I’m very thankful that I can make even more money than I would at a corporate or desk job, while also working fewer hours. This has opened up my life in a new way, and I’ve even started working as an intimacy coordinator on porn shoots with this newfound time.
As an intimacy coordinator, I’m there to make the actors feel more comfortable during sex scenes and to help them communicate their boundaries with fellow performers and directors. I also assist them to explain what they are comfortable doing. Being an intimacy coordinator gives me the ability to help other women in positions I've been in before, including blocking potentially harmful tropes from making it into scenes.
I’m doing what I can to make this industry a better, safer space for everyone around me. And yet, I do think the onus should be on the public at large, on non-Asian people, and these major porn companies to make a difference, too.
First and foremost, Asian actresses need to stop being asked to perform racist caricatures such as unnecessary accents, clothing that doesn’t match their actual culture, and more.
In addition to this, companies should rethink the way they market videos featuring Asian women, specifically when it comes to comments, titles, and taglines that racially fetishize those who are featured.
Finally, I’d like to call people who enjoy porn to action here, too. If you see a video that contains a racist description of those involved, comment on the video and call them out, or reach out to the company to let them know you’re unhappy with the way it’s being promoted.
I’m not saying that captions or tags should stop you from watching a video. But if you do see one that contains harmful stereotypes within the actual script, setting, and dialogue, you might want to consider reevaluating your needs, where your desire to view this is coming from, and whether you should be watching the video altogether.
At the very least, consider what actions you can take out of respect for the actors involved. We’ve provided a service: a source of entertainment for you. I ask that you recognize our humanity throughout this process, too. And in the same way that we’ve done something for you, perhaps you might aid in minimizing the racism that we might experience in return.
Madeline Howard is a writer, editor, and creative based in Brooklyn. Her work has been published in Esquire, Nylon, Cosmopolitan, and other publications. Among other things, she was formerly an editor at Women’s Health. Subscribe to her newsletter ‘hey howie’ at madelinehoward.substack.com.
