誰だよ、私にリワード恵んでやるプロジェクトしてんのはｗｗｗ

　1日あたり1568PVとか見たこと無いわ。このまま言ったら天元突破しちまうぞ。いいのか？　あぁ？　あ、私は大歓迎ですよ。リワードめっちゃ換金できるくらいのアクセスになるならね。日記長者だ！

　もう楽しみです。いつまで記録更新するかな？　みたいな？

　毎日1.2倍くらいのペースで増えてくれねぇかなぁ？？？？　うひひ。

　……とか言ってたらストンと落ちるんでしょ、僕知ってる。

　まぁ、でもリワード増えるのは実はすごく歓迎していますので（500円になればなんでもいい）、バシバシPV増やしてくださいね。広告表示PV上げましょうね。

　さて、「腰痛剣士と肩凝り魔女」ですが、こちらは40PVでしたね。40ｗｗｗｗ　おいｗｗｗｗ　ひどｗｗｗｗ　とか思ったりしていますが。

　

　ああ、そうそう。実はX（Twitter）で、「★1000程度のクソ雑魚ですが」って言ってる人がいたんですよ。舐めとんのかと。バカにしてんのかと。ちょっと本気で腹たちましたね。きっと世渡り下手くそなタイプの人間なんでしょうけど、自分を下げるついでにものすごく多くの人を下敷きにしてるって自覚がないんですね。悲しい人だわ。そういう人にはなりたくないものですねって、私が★4桁になんてなることはないだろうから完全に取り越し苦労だったわ。でも「自分を卑下する」ってのはそれだけ無関係な人々に犠牲を強いることっていうのだけは忘れずにいたいね。

　「腰痛剣士と肩凝り魔女」にアクセスしてくださいね。

　日本語読める人なら絶対読めるので。

　希望があれば英訳します。Chat-GPTで（笑）　いや、独力でもできるけど、GPT先生使ったほうが圧倒的に速いのでｗｗｗ

　試しに第一話を英訳させてみたよ。

第一話：https://kakuyomu.jp/works/16817330667806787552/episodes/16817330667806854878

―――

In a remote town far from the royal capital, so distant that it made one lose track, the only semblance of a "town" was maintained thanks to an extremely noteworthy hot spring. Indeed, hot springs are wonderful. Truly, incredibly wonderful.

Now, in the dining hall of the town's only large hot spring inn, I was grappling with a thick steak. The obligatorily grilled beef, with its taut and unyielding texture, made for a relentless challenge. The knife in my right hand was manageable, but the fork in my left felt as if it might break from the toughness.

Attempting to cut it into bite-sized pieces, the taste seemed to be merely a facade of salt and pepper flavor. Inevitably, I liberally doused it with a sauce called "something or other" that had been prepared. Finally, it seemed to become fit for human consumption, albeit not without a sense of effort. However, my jaw was tired. Even a burnt piece of bread felt soft and fluffy in comparison.

As my background music for this dining battle, there was a "song." On a small stage in the dining hall, accompanied by a few musicians, a woman in a black dress was singing. If not for her song, I might have given up on the meal altogether.

Anyway, even at the cost of severe jaw joint fatigue, she was remarkably skilled at singing. It was a song I had never heard before, in a language unfamiliar to me, but it served well as background music. I felt the urge to have a drink, but for various reasons, I couldn't drink now. It would be dangerous if I did. Various reasons, you know.

At that moment, the door at the entrance behind me was violently thrown open. Unfortunately, the seasoned wooden door, with its well-used hinges, was knocked off, making a loud crash as it fell. I nonchalantly continued eating my tough meat while observing the unfolding situation. There was no doubt that an uneasy situation was developing.

—I'd really prefer to avoid this.

Pouring in were about a dozen men. Naturally, the music and performance came to a halt. Troublesome individuals aside, it was downright unforgivable that they interrupted the song that was my (pre-hot spring) source of solace. But well, due to various circumstances, I couldn't exactly strike a dashing pose.

The men were shouting something loudly, but their heavy accents made it difficult to understand. However, it seemed to resonate with the woman who had been singing.

"So, you're saying you're retiring!"

The woman with long black hair, now sweeping her bangs back, retorted with a completely transformed demeanor. Her age was probably around thirty, undoubtedly younger than me. However, her presence conveyed a sense of seasoned warriorship. She must have gone through quite a few battles—clearly, she was more than just a mere "singer."

—I guess I'll just let it play out.

I continued observing the situation with a piece of charred bread in my mouth. By the way, there were over ten other customers in the dining hall, but they had somehow disappeared. In other words, I was the only customer left.

I hope they don't do anything troublesome. I've had enough nightmares; I really don't want to see any more.

While munching on the burnt bread, I continued to watch the scene. The men were making a racket, but their harsh accents made it difficult to understand what they were saying. Nevertheless, the woman, unfazed, responded to their words.

"I said I retired!"

"Shut up, hag—"

"Yeah, yeah! I'm a hag in her thirties!"

This woman is impressive. I continued chewing my bread as I observed. By the way, there were more than ten other customers in the dining hall, but they had disappeared during the chaos. In other words, I was now the sole customer.

I hope this doesn't turn into a nightmare. I really don't want to experience any more nightmares, I don't.

Touching the short dagger in my pocket, I glanced sideways at the long sword leaning against the back wall.

"You hags, whether retired or not, are all witches!"

As expected, witch hunting. Even in such a remote place, it seemed the witch hunt had begun. While thinking about that, I still didn't stand up. Standing up was fine, but sitting down again would be a struggle. I would only stand when heading to the hot springs, and sitting would be reserved for soaking in them before meals—I had decided on that before the meal.

"If you're not a witch, you'll have divine protection! Resisting is confirmation of being a witch! You understand, right!"

"Catch her, interrogate her!"

"Interrogation, huh? I didn't expect to hear such a sophisticated word in this backwater!"

Seemingly confirming my speculation, one of the men shouted with a severe accent.

"She says she retired, but a witch is still a witch!"

It's exactly what I thought. Witch hunting had arrived even in this remote town. While thinking about that, I still didn't stand up. Standing up was fine, but sitting down again would be a struggle. I would only stand when heading to the hot springs, and sitting would be reserved for soaking in them before meals—I had decided on that before the meal.

"These witch hunts are ridiculous. Whether it's a retired witch or not, it's none of your business. I'm just a woman making a living singing in taverns. I have no reason to be criticized by the likes of you!"

"Shut up, hag!"

"Yeah, yeah! I'm a hag in her thirties!"

Wow, this woman. I continued to observe while munching on my bread. By the way, there were more than ten other customers in the dining hall, but they had disappeared during the chaos. In other words, I was now the sole customer.

"Disease and drought, all the work of demons! Witches summon demons! Against the wrath of God—"

God and demons, I've seen enough of those types waving their flags. Regardless of their social status, there were no decent individuals among such people. Certainly, witches exist. There are even tales of a great witch who committed a massacre. But that's in the past. Those who are swayed by such fairy tales—no, I don't have the qualifications to mock them either.

"Whether you're a witch or a former witch, it doesn't matter to me."

"It doesn't matter, right, swordsman-san?"

"It's Ellison."

"Ellison is fine, right?"

Hmm... Ellison... It's a bit awkward.

However, I can't afford to ruin Tanasan's mood over such a trivial matter.

"You've got a good judgment, swordsman-san."

"I retired from being a swordsman."

"Retired, huh? Well, whatever. We're both going to be driven out of this town. We've ended up being on a journey of escape together."

Hmm... I don't really need to go together, do I? It's much easier to be alone in various ways.

After making that decision, let's leave this town promptly. It's a good time of night, but there's no helping it. Sleeping here is practically inviting trouble.

"You seem reluctant to leave the hot springs."

"Well, of course. That's the reason I came here."

"I see."

―――

まぁ、途中までですがこんな感じですねｗ

ろくにチェックしてませんが、ちゃんと通じるんじゃないかなｗｗｗ

Chat-GPTの翻訳能力はかなり高いので、意外と侮れないんですよね、これが。

よし、めっちゃ文字数稼いだ。6500文字だって。（英語のところ、誰も読んでねぇよ）

さぁ、広告表示PVを増やしてくれたまえ。

あと「腰痛剣士と肩凝り魔女」をぜひ読んでくれたまえ。

https://kakuyomu.jp/works/16817330667806787552/episodes/16817330667806854878