I need serious help.

Sister nobody can say "Others have it worse, stop complaining". Your problems and struggles are valid and you have it very difficult. I know you're not doing this for attention. You don't like these struggles either, I know that for sure. May Allah grant you ease.

I know I'll suffer in jahannam and I said this multiple times. Im not going to go to jannah its obvious.

Don't say this. Sister you're not evil scum or dirty. You mean well and have good intentions and you wouldn't purposely hurt others. And not only that, sister you're a Muslim. Every Muslim will enter jannah inshallah. Don't forget that Allah cares for you and loves you. He has not forgotten you, nor has He forbidden you from coming close to Him. You can come close to Allah and become the Muslimah you dream of being sister!

Sister try to focus less on those around you and more on yourself. You really need to box yourself out of this hole by doing things which improve your self respect and self esteem. And also seeking professional help might be a lifesaver. I would also recommend ruqya.

Sister you're not doomed, nor is it hopeless. You may feel miserable but you have the potential to grow so so much. I know in your heart there's a lot of goodness. Please don't give up on yourself. You deserve your own love and respect more than anyone else!

Sister, your pain, sadness or whatever it may be is valid. Of course people have it worse than other people, but if that’s all people are going to say to each other, then the problems of life never get solved. Don’t listen to those people. Listen to your lord who loves you and cares for your. Wallahi sometimes I’d be the DARKEST moments and somehow someway the Almighty pulls me out of that darkness and everything seems to fall into place. You have to understand that you right now are at the mercy of Allah, your heart beating is because of Allah, the chemical and physiological process in your body are all because of Allah. We are weak and he is all powerful. Completely submit to him and return to him. You cannot find a single sin on the face of the earth that Allah doesn’t forgive. So my first advice is to remeber Allah loves you, Allah made you write this Reddit post and he made me read it, and here am I giving you some small advice. Subhanallah everything seems to fall into place when Allah wants it to. So just take a deep breathe and have tawakul in Allah, but relaxed at the fact that he forgives everything. Secondly, my advice is to get closer to the Quran, read Surahs like Surat Yusuf that have been known to cure depression. Listen to it in ARABIC and read its translation. The Quran and salah is your cure, perfect then and watch how perfectly your life falls into place. Surround yourself with Islam and completely submit to Allah. This is the essence of the religion, submission. Don’t feel “weird” or like a “bad person” everyone goes through something. Just bounce back from this and eliminate all negative thoughts through Quran and salah. Trust me, it’s worked for so many people

Seek professional help. Don’t even consider praying something like this away. It’s obvious to me that you are dealing with a medical condition. For the love of god please go get help!

Oh I got that. Been there, know that. typical case when devil is successful in messing up with your head, thoughts and even physically. its a fight within you and only way is to bow your head to the will of Allah. I am always amazed by remembering one thing in such condition (and believe me I know what you're trying to say underline), my "secret" code is to think about one name/attribute/property/beauty of Allah ... "Al-Hakeem" - The wise. If he is the wise, this condition must be from His ultimate wisdom and He already told us He will judge us, he will pass us through the tough battles and sufferings and the solution is "Faith in Him" Put yourself together and nothing is lost if Imaan is not lost. Fight this with the way Allah and His prophet s.a.w told us. You're not evil. Devil is evil, who took the oath in the name of Almighty that he will mess up with this creation of Allah. Allah put the trust in us in front of Shitaan. Think about it.

Anyone who has a problem with anything go to Gaza for like 2 months, you'll appreciate life like you've never did before and I'm very serious about it.

Please watch this video, it helped me a lot when I was in deep depression years ago.

https://youtu.be/5pyZkY93B2A?feature=shared

Please please watch it

My beloved brother or sister I know how you feel. Please message me I will offer my help best I can.

Your feelings are real. You are not hated by god and you should absolutely seek help. Although it seems those around you aren’t taking it as seriously as they should, I recommend reaching out by calling or texting 988. This is a mental health crisis hotline with resources and people who can help you.

Please go to therapy asap, it's worth going there with ur parents if it's possible

I just wanted to say, remember Allah is with you, how hard life may get don’t forget that Allah tests those who he loves the most! So try to think about the good things in life. And please talk with a trusted person about this they may able to help you.

Here is what you need to do is to control the things that is telling you to do this take control of it doesn't matter what steps you take if you don't take action it will get worse go to a therapist or a mental rehabilitation center what ever you can do take control of it