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From Encyclopedia Dramatica

← Circumcision

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{{withjews}} {{quote|Jews are super angry and crazy. They cut off the tips of their own penises...imagine what they'd do to yours!|[[Dr. Stephen T. Colbert]]}} [[Image:EDretreat5.jpg|thumb|right|An uncircumcised penis]] [[File:Cutdick.png|thumb|right|Circumsized penis (also known as goomba dick). You be the judge.]] [[File:Foreskinman.jpg|thumb|right|Fact: Foreskins give you SUPAH POWAHS]] [[File:Age of consent for circumcision - 0.png|thumb|Can you spot the flaw?]] '''Circumcision''' (a.k.a. '''genital mutilation''' and '''circumrape''') is the [[Sick Fuck|unnatural]] [[Guro|act]] of cutting off parts of the genitalia, the [[foreskin]] for boys and different parts of the vagoo for girls, depending in what parts of the world they are circumcised. It was introduced by [[Jews|reptilian sociopathic aliens]] to [[niggers|mankind's ancestors]]. Male circumcision is mainly practiced by Morons, contrary to popular belief that Pedophiles do most of the cutting. The main idea for circumcision in the ancient era was lulz, since most civilizations that practiced circumcision were based in hot and dry areas where lulz were scarce. Because nothing's lulzier than mutilating a male against his will and there's not much to lol at in bumfuck 230 BC. Later, the practice of circumcision was adopted by Abrahamic religions, even though it predates said religions with thousand of years and has nothing to do with them. In modern times, male circumcision was popularized, mainly by Christians, in western societies, but fortunately it only got wind in The United States. At times when commercials encouraged smoking as a healthy past time,<ref>[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gCMzjJjuxQI ''More Doctors Smoke Camels Than Any Other Cigarette'']</ref> other commercials convinced people the same about circumcision, which mainly was pushed because of a Christian agenda which focused on how to stop boys from masturbating and because doctors will gladly take your money to cut off whatever you want from your child so long as he's too stupid to come back and murder their asses for literally sexually assaulting him with a knife. Thus, more than 70% of the males in the States are circumcised. Since then, the percentage of circumcised male newborns is slowly dropping, with the help of information against circumcision resurfacing on the internet, information that the Agency for Healthcare Research & Quality buried decades ago for unknown reasons. All of the so called healthy benefits of circumcision were [[#Examples_Of_Incorrect_Knowledge_On_Circumcision|debunked]] a long time ago even though most people that defend circumcision are circumcised themselves and are trying to inflate their confidence, or they're idiots who defend it purely for aesthetic reasons, mostly women who disregard their own hanging meatflaps or the fact that uncut dicks would make them cum ten times faster. Most of them suffer from extreme butthurtness, or better said, dickhurtness because of their inferiority complex and knowing the fact that a cut dick can never go back. Some [[DO IT FAGGOT|sued their parents]], which surprisingly won them a pretty penny. Others are so lost in their own bullshit, they started believing it. But most suffer from Stockholm syndrome, painting themselves in a pseudo-high-caliber color while covering their ears, closing their eyes and chanting how superior they are. Just like rape victims who do not acknowledge or admit that they where in fact raped. Sadly, these males are rooted into a mentality that boys born natural are defective, which is a macabre reaction to their own mutilation.<ref name=circpromo>[https://pastebin.com/MTNbdQ2j ''Why would someone promote circumcision for reasons completely unrelated to money?'']</ref> Circumraped mens' sexual organ has the aesthetics of a rotten mushroom and a goomba. They will never feel real sex, they will never feel real intimacy or masturbation, and they will never be complete again. Always a part missing. Always circus freaks. Hence, they are easily triggered. All that remains to circumcised men is a cheap trial version of sex. The full version is reserved for natural and complete men. In effect, circumcised men have a lifetime ban from sex. So many men with a goomba penis cope with their lifetime ban from sex by [[:category:circumcision promoters|promoting and glorifying circumcision]]. By pretending that being circumraped is no big deal, that a foreskin is just a useless appendix. Men with a goomba penis men have a tendency to downplay what they know they will never have. Commonly, they claim a goomba is "more hygienic" than a complete penis, "lasts longer in bed", and "protects from sexually transmitted diseases", and make up fake studies to try to prove it. Or they cite ''"[[not|highly trustworthy]]"'' studies by some <s>Nigerian</s> <s>Kenyan</s> Ugandan <s>prince</s> professor. These claims have been refuted in [[#Examples_Of_Incorrect_Knowledge_On_Circumcision|the examples of incorrect knowledge on circumcision]]. ==The glorious Glenn Beck pwns foreskin man== ; If you're against circumcision, you're a nazi and a bad goy! <youtube>g8sWMvNIsMA</youtube> ==[[Drama|Crawling In My (Fore)skin, This Wound It Will Not Heal]]== Few things get [[Sick fuck|people]] as excited on the [[Internets]] as circumcision, because [[faggotry|discussing other people's penises]] on the internets makes gay people happy and causes outbursts of [[rage]] in the [[straight]] [[community]]. If you lurk the [[4chan|chans]], be sure to drop a "cut vs uncut" thread on there for [[lulz]] and drama, and make sure to mention uncuts are superior to force the argument. If you say [[you|cuts]] are superior you'll just get [[anti-lulz]] and [[fail]]. The most vocal opponents are [[Ron Paul|the majority of all internets]], who prefer their sausages with casings. To quote an [[France|expert]]: {{quote|It's like being fucked by a dried up cock-piston that feels less pleasure, instead of a proven evolutionary method of pleasing a gay man. Believe me, I know.|A gay homosexual}} Sex with a circumcised penis is a shallow chore, where as sex with a foreskin is a deep ecstasy that will blow one out of reality. Whenever someone brings the topic up, the conversation usually involves most guys not giving a shit about it and smart people freaking out and using a form of the word "mutilated" in every post. Then the [[Circlist|pedos]] (who love circumcision) start to freak out, sensing a threat to their supply of masturbation material - photos of circumcised baby penises. [[White trash]] [[Your Mom|moms]] (who love to make their babies dicks look AND smell like shit) team up with the douchebags and shit gets out of hand. According to [[statistics]], there are more [[white people]] circumcised than trained monkeys or jews currently in [[America]]. However [[niggers]] [[fact|have a bigger penis than you]], which is obviously a [[Lie|coincidence]]. [[Fact|Circumcision has been shown to cause both erectile dysfunction and premature ejaculation]]: the former because removing that "piece of skin" means there is less actual skin to stretch during an erection, which is particularly true in high and tight cuts (you probably don't have to worry if you have a low and loose in which case you are significantly closer to being [[normal]]); and the latter because less nerves means you have less sensation of when you're about to [[cum]]. This leads to [[Americunts]] getting all-cut-over circumcisions and making up more [[bullshit|facts]] about circumcision to [[hugbox|make themselves feel better]]. What it boils down to is this: if you're raping something asleep, you want to cum ASAP for maximal escape chance. <b>Keeping</b> your penis is a proven method of jizzing quick. Also, if one is uncircumcised, you are a true [[an hero|male]], due to the ability to bring lulz from clever tricks using this skin. <i>See [[foreskin]].</i> Also did [[I]] mention newborns are circumcised without [[drugs|anesthetic]]? Along with this, you aren't [[butthurt]] and [[Lolocaust|hunted]] for being a Jew. However, [[you]] are probably never going to have sex anyhow, so you can [[HAHAHA DISREGARD THAT, I SUCK COCKS|disregard]] most of this article as it really doesn't matter either way. Arguing over circumcision on teh [[interwebs]] is like two [[cripples]] arguing over who has stronger legs. Though if you really must have a handy tip; for cuts: say the uncut guy has a higher chance of catching [[STD]]s, which is a [[lie]] and will cause major drama because of it. For uncuts: say the cut guy feels [[nothing]] during [[sex]] [[fact|because of his lacking of an extra 20,000 nerve endings]], and be sure to have links to articles proving this number otherwise you'll just generate anti-lulz such as "[[fucktard|oh yeah well I highly doubt theres any nerves in that piece of skin]]." Use this for example: [http://archive.fo/4i2zQ The foreskin is srs bsns.] ==Female Circumcision== [[File:Veryno.jpg|thumb|A woman without cunt lips is like a fat woman!]] [[Image:ANIME_CIRCUMCISION_MOTIVATOR2.jpg|thumb|protip: LOLIS LUV IT!]] Broads can get their [[Clitoris|clits]] lobbed off too. [[DO NOT WANT|Ouch]]. Unlike circumcision, this is [[hypocrisy|illegal to perform without consent]] and can't be forced on babies. Unless you are in some small village in the middle of Nowhere, [[Africa|Afurika]] or any of the [[Islam|islamic]] European countries (which is every European country). In which case, you can get away with it. The preferred method is a piece of broken glass or battery acid (Now you can be just like [[Shit nobody cares about|John H Kellog]]!), but [[a cat is fine too]]. Fuck the clit! They don't need one anyway! ==Forekin Restoration== Some men who were [[butthurt|dickhurt]] over having been circumcised during infancy feel the need to restore their foreskins,although this is pointless because they will never regain the [[over 9,000|20,000]] nerve endings lost in the procedure and only [[Eurofags]] and [[homosexuals]] like foreskin despite the fact that 99.9% of [[16 year old girls| consenting women]] would not know the difference even if they were trying to suck [[Jameth|two cocks at once]]. ==Jews== See: [[Metzizah_b’peh]] During Jewish circumcision, the mohel (specially trained [[pedophile]] who performs the operation) will [[Sick fuck|finger the foreskin, molest the infant to achieve erection, cut off the over 50% of his dick skin, then suck the blood out of the open wound]]. [https://web.archive.org/web/20081226164550/http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Brit_milah#Metzitzah Seriously, I couldn't make this shit up if I tried.] In 2005, [[Sick Fuck|some mohel who did this shit]] in New York gave three kids herpes. One of them died. The mayor, Jew, tried to get the [[JEWS DID WTC|Jew Kings of New York]] to stop. Here's a screenshot: [[Image:LOL_Mohels.JPG|center|The Jew Kings eloquently defend their right to perform this sacred, ancient practice of sucking baby dick while rubbing one off]] Jews have a Party where they invite everyone over to brag about their newborn son's half incher and then joyously allow someone (usually picked by whoever has the sharpest knife with them) the right to mutilate the helpless infant and then suck the blood off (not all Jews, just the extra Jewy kind, the kind that will shoot your kid and bomb your hospital because it is manifest destiny to own your land because G-D promised it to him). While the Jews watch the babies penis get molested and mutilated they enjoy various snacks as watching a babies penis bleed is known to increase a Jew's appetite by [[over 9000]]. Often times if the parents are not stocked up on enough cocktail weiners/bananas/other [[penis|phallic]] looking foods then the foreskin of the victim is ingested ritually. <br><br> [[File:Foreskinman captain israel.jpg|thumb|[http://www.foreskinman.com/index.htm Foreskin Man] gets his [[pol|jew-hating]] ,anti-semetic,[[evil]],[[nazi]] ass kicked by the glorious [http://www.captisrael.com/issue_1/ Captain Israel].]] <center>{{videoframe|v1|background-color: #FFFFFF;|font-weight: bold; |<youtube>xTxD6l-8ppw</youtube><center>'''It's awwwwwriiiight'''</center> |<youtube>UDZTusAdVT0</youtube><center>'''[[http://www.dailynews.com/news/ci_18224641?source=rss Jews were butthurt over San fagsickos ban on dick cutting]]'''</center> |<youtube>gxix8UteOTo</youtube><center>'''Only intolerant racist antisemites would<br>denounce sucking on little boys' dicks!'''</center>}}</center> ==SeaNiggers Are The New Jews== [http://www.cirp.org/news/manilatimes05-24-03// 98 percent of dumb, self-hating/self-pwning Filipinos draw pride in intentionally numbing their already microscopic pindicks by chopping half of them off.] Filipinos with enough sense to avoid having their genitals mutilated with a machete and a coconut are mocked out of jealously for their fully functional dicks with the slur [http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=supot/ "supot"] meaning "I'd love to suck your gorgeous intact sausage." After centuries of unhygienic BME sponsored tribal initiations of 9-14 year old boys, many [[dumbfuck]] Filipinos ended up brainwashing themselves into believing mutilated pindicks make you taller instead of the fact puberty naturally occurs after the age of initiation anyway (SERIOUSLY!). Seanigger dipshits idiotically became more enthusiastic about slicing up their own cocks after thinking they could reverse their midget height, however their minuscule stature, tiny dicks and self-inflicted mutilation are all permanent. EPIC SELF-PWNAGE! It's no surprise the world's most infamous self-hating jew Bobby Fischer was very fond of the self-hatred he shared with Filipinos, so much so that he honored them with his first annual [[September 11]] celebration being broadcast on Filipino radio. ==List of circumcised men== * Kareem Abdul-Jabbar * Ben Affleck * [[Woody Allen]] * Prince Andrew, Duke of York * [[Mel brooks|Mel Brooks]] * Jerry Brown * [[Jimmy Carter]] * Charles, Prince of Wales * Robert DeNiro * Michael Douglas * Prince Edward, Earl of Wessex * King George V * [[Mel Gibson]] * [[Jeff Goldblum]] * [[Gene Simmons]] {{Jew}} * [[John F. Kennedy]] * [[Bruce Lee]] * Bill Maher * Barack Obama, Sr. * Al Pacino * Daniel Radcliffe * [[Joe Rogan]] * [[Arnold Schwarzenegger]] * [[Al Sharpton]] * Sylvester Stallone * [[Howard Stern]] * [[Andrew Sullivan]] * [[John Travolta]] * John Wayne * [[Jayjg]] ==People Who Approve Of Circumcision== [[File:Drmutilator.jpg|thumb|Dr. Mutilator,saving you from masturbation related deaths.]] [[File:Cutfag.jpg|thumb|A stick is [[a cat is fine too|fine too]].]] *[[16 year old girl|16 year old girls]] *[[American|AmeriCUNTs]] *[[Feminism|Feminists]] *[[Jews]] *[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/John_Harvey_Kellogg#Drastic_measures John Harvey Kellogg] He started the circumcision trend to save you from [[bullshit|masturbation related deaths]]. *[[Muslims]] *[[Africans]] *[[Filipinos]] *[[South Korea]]ns *[[UN|Kofi Annan]] *[[Pedophilia|Pedophiles]] *[[STD|People who don't want STDs]] and are too lazy/stupid to use a condom or who've read wiki answers frequently *[[Bill Gates]] - he's jealous of your big, black wang. *[[Your Mom]] *[[You|People who are missing pieces of their dick]]. ==People Who Disapprove Of Circumcision== *[[Eurofags]] *[[Canadians]] *[[Catholic]]s *[[Alcohol]]ics *[[South America]]ns *[[North Korea]]ns *[[Japanese]] *[[Dog]]s *[[Foreskin]]s *[[Faggots]] *[[Jay Naylor]] *[http://www.foreskinman.com Foreskin Man] *[[Smegma|People who love dickcheese]] *[[me|People who have all of their dick]] *[[everyone|90% of the world]] [[Srs]][[hitler|ly no political candidate in history EVER has even come close to such a margin]]. ==Examples Of [[irl trolling|Incorrect Knowledge]] On Circumcision== [[File:Wikipedia guessing game.png|thumb|One of these paragraphs appeared the Internet's sacred cow of knowledge. Can you guess which one?]] [[Star Wars|A long long time ago in a country far away]] a man called John Kellog decided it would be fun to [[Torture|cut boys penises off and pour acid on girls clits]]. This was obviously enjoyed because the government decided to make it lolimportant in a high percentage of newborns. Since then the American doctors want to team up with the [[Jews]] to create random facts so more people will circumcise their kids so [[Pedophilia|pedotricians]] can keep making [[money]]. Circumcision is also promoted by [[Wikipedia|Wikipedia, the Internet's sacred cow of knowledge]], because the [[Wikipedia Admin Gallery|those who decide who is allowed to edit]], especially [[James Heilman|this circumphile]], are circumcised themselves and do not want the idea that they are complete and undamaged men threatened. They want to believe their goomba dick is just perfect. But deep inside, they know they are defective.<ref name=circpromo /> Here's some facts you can expect to hear: *''"Circumcision is HYGIENIC!!11!!1!1!!"'' scream the circumphiles. - Indeed, if you never take a shower in your life. *''Circumcision is "[[political correctness|generally]]" safe<ref>[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Circumcision#Adverse_effects Circumcision § Adverse effects - Wikipedia]: "Neonatal circumcision is generally a safe, low-risk procedure when done by an experienced practitioner" (9 October 2023) (warning: circumphile propaganda)</ref> - only about 100 babies bleed to death each year!'' And skin bridges? ''"Nah, that's an urban myth. Trust us, because we, the medical industry, would never dare to sacrifice your son's well-being for cash! Your son is the center of our world!"'' *''Circumcision lowers chances of getting STDs, it's true we tested it in Africa! Because a lack of foreskin prevents diseases from entering the urethra, [[amirite]]? RIGHT??????'' - The test results showed cut men who didn't wash were more likely to get STDs than uncut men who didn't. Cut/Uncut Men who did wash had equal chances. *''Circumcision doesn't actually remove 20,000 nerve endings, it's just a fold of skin!'' -A circumcised person. - The foreskin is used to protect the glans from damage up until the age where you need to stop being a lazy fuck and pull it back to keep [[Smegma|cheese]] out. It contains a lot of blood vessels and nerve endings unluckily for [[you]]. However these nerve endings feel slightly less than the ones on the head, but the Jews are way ahead of you! Having your foreskin removed means your head will be rubbing against everything decreasing it's sensitivity to match your lack of nerve endings. [[TL;DR]], yes it does remove them. *''Circumcision makes you last longer in bed!'' - The time you last in bed is only 20% controlled by sensativity and is 80% controlled by your brain. DOES THAT MEAN I LAST 20% LONGER! COOL! (bad thing you barely feel anything) *''He will look like other guys in the changing room!'' - Ok now you're just being a fag. Why would you want his/your cock to look like another man's in a [[Gay|changing room]]? Besides circumcision is the minority now so either go back in time by about 30 years or cry as your gay son is laughed at in the changing room for being the [[freak|odd one out]]. *''"It was the purpose of this investigation, therefore, to determine if women, particularly mothers who recently made a decision about circumcision of their newborn sons, do indeed prefer circumcised sexual partners"''<ref name=circlist_2013>[http://archive.today/2013.12.18-180429/http://www.circlist.com/surveys/williamson-01.html CIRCLIST - women's preferences] (warning: circumphile propaganda)</ref> - Shouldn't matter to you as the mother of your son, unless, of course, you are planning on having sex with your son. *''"Circumcision reduces the chance of an infection with a sexually transmitted disease (STD) by SIXTY PERCENTS!!!!11!!!11!"''<ref>[https://vimeo.com/116934977 Medical Male Circumcision Infographic] (warning: circumphile propaganda)</ref> - Oh really? First of all, no mention of whether the statistic is relative or absolute. Watch: [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bVG2OQp6jEQ This is How Easy It Is to Lie With Statistics]. Second, even if it were true, it does not negate the need for condoms. Third, how is the lack of foreskin supposed to prevent diseases from entering the urethra? Physics 101. {{#ev:youtube|bVG2OQp6jEQ|300}} Internet articles full of lies and fail, [[Protip]]: You're getting trolled! -A circumcised person. *[http://www.newscientist.com/article/dn17312 Bill Gates knows all about Mutilation] *[http://blackchristiannews.com/news/2009/08/officials-weigh-mandatory-circumcision-for-all-boys-born-in-us-to-fight-aids-hiv.html Niggers are worries about getting AIDS so they stopped using condoms and joined the government] *[http://noprematureejaculation.com/last-longer-in-bed.html Cutting it off will change how my brain works so i can last 2-3 times longer!] *[http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20080706011031AAMsvSf Yahoo answers knows best] *[http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20071123142317AAKdQNx&r=w He was obviously in Jerusalem, in America now only about 35% circumcised, unless you live in Miami.] *[http://www.examiner.com/x-16813-Legal-News-Examiner~y2009m8d24-Circumcision-to-become-mandatory-in-the-United-States As if the government was already had enough, the woman in the picture is old and probably has AIDS too] ==Videos== [[Image:Penis_Rubber_Bands.jpg|thumb|right|[[You're doing it wrong|Am I doing it right?]]]] <center>'''Furfags hate circumcision because they love having animalistic sheathed dicks.'''</center> <center><youtube>SBn-6sXTs9k</youtube></center> == [[butthurt|Dickhurt]] Gallery == {{cg||circumcisionGallery|center|<gallery> Image:Advicejew.jpg|[[Advice Dog|Advice Jew]] Image:Statueofliberty-anim.gif|It's the [[American]] way. Image:Do it yourself circumcision.gif|Just in case you weren't circumcised at birth. Image:Bananaforeskin.jpg|[[Japs]] prefer their bananas unpeeled. </gallery>|<gallery> File:Typical cock skinbridge.jpg|[[Ty Ziegel|Skin bridges]] can be used to store [[Sharpie|pens]] and school supplies. [[dick neck|Jellyous]] uncut fags? File:Donggspotgone.jpg|Disagreeing with this practice is racist and antisemitic.[http://www.dailynews.com/news/ci_18224641?source=rss] File:Liberalslikeforeskins.jpg|Liberal jewhaters want to ban circumcision. File:Ozy Millie circumcision.jpg|Furries love circumcision too. File:Pedo_-_Jewish_Baby_Dick_Sucking_Pedophiles.png|OY VEY! ITZ ANUDDUH SHOAH I TELL YUZ! File:Foreskins used in wrinkle cream.jpg File:Circumcision Jewishjj.jpg File:Cut VS Uncut.jpg File:Girls Want Uncut.jpg </gallery>}} ==See Also== *[[Anti-semitism]] *[[BME]] *[[Circlist]] *[[Drama]] *[[Smegma]] *[[Docking]] *[[Foreskin]] *[[Zionist circumcision conspiracy|Zionist Conspiracy]] *[[Metzizah b’peh]] -Legalized Jewish pedophilia/guro done for the lulz ==External Links== *[http://www.nytimes.com/2005/08/26/nyregion/26circumcise.html/ NY Times] - What happens in New York City, stays in New York City. *[http://www.slate.com/id/2125225/ Hitchens on Cocksucking] - [[Christopher Hitchens]] is [[butthurt]] about circumcision. *[http://www.nocirc.org/ NOCIRC] - Some people who don't want doctors to be [[pedophile]]s *[http://www.circinfo.com/ CIRCINFO] - Some people who think that cutting skin off your [[cock]] will give you magic [[Jesus]] powerz *[http://www.ambiguous.com/ Ambiguous] - Some people who might not care either way *[http://forums.fark.com/cgi/fark/comments.pl?IDLink=2130610 FARK Forums] - An example of intelligent discourse regarding circumcision *[http://www.senslip.com/ Artificial foreskin! It's like having a foreskin you can't feel!] <---'''don't buy''',the moisture still escapes. Buy [http://manhood.mb.ca/ '''this'''] instead you [[butthurt|dickhurt]] fuck. *[http://www.dailynews.com/news/ci_18224641?source=rss San Fagsisco bans circumcision, Jews are outraged] Banning circumcision is antisemitic and racist! *[http://www.oregonlive.com/portland/index.ssf/2011/08/portland_woman_who_botched_cir.html Black woman circumcises son with '''pliers''' and a '''box cutter''' to save money] *[http://newyork.newsday.com/hudson/circumcision-gives-orange-county-baby-herpes-officials-1.3804551 Baby gets herpes after getting mongled by a rabbi] *[http://rt.com/news/israeli-woman-fined-circumcise-346/ Israeli woman fined $140 per day for refusing to cut son's dick off] -Give me your shekels goy! Oy vey! It'd another shoah! *[http://web.archive.org/web/20220313221115/http://www.cirp.org/pages/riley/intact Circumcision harm known in 1996] {{islam}} {{Jewseries}} {{pedoseries}} {{sex}} [[Category: Fandom Stuff]][[Category:IRL Shit]]

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