Gonna skip my usual intro because I’m putting a lot in the notes below ^^. Thank you to @tragicdeity, @arysthaeniru, @howlinvixen, @milktrician-hell, @majimemegoro, @konnanjanai and @chaoszonenate (can’t tag you for some reason :< ) for voting!
Story: Kashiwagi wants to help out the owner of his favorite noodle shop from losing his land, but unfortunately the landgrab is being done under Dojima’s orders.
Kazama: “If there’s a butt out there, I will wipe it.”
Kashiwagi: “… Please tell me you mean that figuratively.”
Notes:
1) 鬼柏 – “Oni Kashiwa”. “Oni” here as in the ogre and “Kashiwa” from Kashiwagi’s name. Idk if this title is supposed to be A) a pun on “Onigawara” which they already did with Detective Kawara in Y2 (“Demon Kawara” in the localization and “Oni-kawara” in the OG Japanese); B) implying what Kashiwagi’s tattoo might be; or C) referring to the strength, scary face and Trese-like demon horns hairline of Kashiwagi.
2) “Kumicho” – usually I translate this as “Head” in other stories, but here it’s used too often as a suffix for it to sound not awkward. I still left “Boss”(Oyaji) and “Captain”(Wakagashira) translated tho
3) 錦の御旗 – “nishiki no mihata”. Refers to the flag of the the royal court’s army, but as an idiom it means “worthy cause”. Just funky info :D
4) “Dogeza” –kneeling on the ground and bowing with head touching the floor to show deference
5) “If there’s a butt, I’ll wipe it”- a funnier version of the idiom “if there’s a mess, I’ll clean it up”, I assume, and not just Kazama being weird XD
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CHAPTER 1
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|Before the “Empty Lot uproar” that stemmed from the Kamurocho redevelopment plan shook the city …|
Punk A: “That’s why! Quit ripping us off! Hey!”
Yakitori Shop Manager: “I’ll be in trouble … ! I’m already indebted to the Kazama Family … !”
Punk B: “Huhh? Kazama Family … ? Hehe, you must be new, right? Your lie is too poor. I’ll teach you. The Kazama Family is at the height of its power and the star of the Dojima Family.”
Punk A: “The Kazama Family wouldn’t be the type to partner with a broke store like this~!”
Punk B: “Kyahaha! Right, right!”
?: “A broke store … ? I don’t understand.”
Punk A: “Ah … ?”
Kashiwagi: “Try out the gizzard here with some highball next time. You’ll find it irresistible.”
Punk A: “Uugh … ! Wh-Who are you?!”
Kashiwagi: “I’m the enforcer for this shop. You can see it clearly if you look.”
Punk B: “A-Amazing power … ! Damn! From which family are you?! Huh?!”
Yakitori Shop Manager: “Ka-Kashiwagi-san!”
Punk A: “Huh … … ? Kashiwagi … … ?!”
Punk B: “The Kazama Family enforcer is … Kashiwagi … Eh? Eh? Eh? ‘That’ Kashiwagi?!?!?!”
Kashiwagi: “What? You know of me?”
Punk B: “Oi … !! Kazama Family’s Kashiwagi … isn’t that ‘Oni Kashiwa’ … !!!!”
Punk A: “I-I-It’s the first time I’ve seen his face . . . !! I-I wonder if I can get an autograph … ?!”
Punk B: “Stupid guy! I want it too … !! … . . . Haha~. I get it.”
Punk A: “Wh-What is it?”
Punk B: “They’re trying to deceive us … ! They have the nerve to make up a story together! Think carefully! Kashiwagi-san wouldn’t come out for a place like this … !”
Punk A: “I-I see … ! Is that the case … ? Alright, let’s continue!”
Punk B: “Heh, hehehe … would Kashiwagi of the Kazama Family be so forbidding … ?”
Punk A: “Nice try, you bastard! Do you think we’re scared?!”
Kashiwagi: “Then hurry up and bring it on. I don’t want to be doing this either.”
Punk A: “Uh …”
Kashiwagi: “You’re not scared of yakuza?!?! Bring it on quickly then!!!!”
Punk A and B: “Hiiii!! Sorry!!!!”
Punk A: “… Huh! I apologized involuntarily … !!”
Punk B: “Oi! That’s enough! This guy seems absolutely strong! Let’s bounce!!”
Punk A: “Don’t be scared! Let’s really do it!!!!”
Kashiwagi: “That’s the spirit!! I’ll let you spar with me!!!!”
{Kashiwagi wipes the floor with the punks.}
Punk A: “Hiiii! U-Unreasonable strengthhhh … !!”
Punk B: “Th-There’s no mistake … ! He’s real . . . !! The real Kashiwagi Osamu … ! It’s ‘Oni Kashiwa’ … !!!!”
Kashiwagi: “This shop is under my jurisdiction. If you have any complaints, come anytime.”
Punk A: “No!! We’ve learned our lesson!! Thanks!!!!”
Punk B: “I’m a big fan of Kashiwagi-san!! It’s an honor to meet you!!!!”
Punk A and B: “Then, please excuse us!!!!”
{The punks run away.}
Kashiwagi: “… Who were they? Are you alright, Shop Manager?”
Yakitori Shop Manager: “Ye-Yes … thank you very much! Th-is doesn’t happen often …”
Kashiwagi: “That’s why I’m always saying not to worry. My Boss has me striking fast. I’ll come back next time. Let me eat good food again. See ya.”
{Kashiwagi leaves.}
Yakitori Shop Manager: “Yes … Kashiwagi, thank you very much! Kashiwagi-san of the Kazama Family, huh … Well, I yearn to be in the same line of work like him … !”
—-
Kashiwagi: “Yo.”
Chinese Restaurant Manager: “Welcome. What’ll it be for today?”
Kashiwagi: “Extra large.”
Chinese Restaurant Manager: “Oh, is your work over?”
Kashiwagi: “Yeah. Thanks to that I’m starving.”
{A bowl is placed in front of Kashiwagi.}
Chinese Restaurant Manager: “Okay, the cold noodles special you waited for.”
{There’s a lot of slurping as Kashiwagi digs in.}
Kashiwagi: “… Phew~. Doesn’t that bring me back to life. I saw the light was on so I entered here … Chief, isn’t today a regular holiday?”
Chinese Restaurant Manager: “… Yup. That’s right. I couldn’t pay the rent.”
Kashiwagi: “… Rent? This land belongs to you.”
Chinese Restaurant Manager: “… A while ago, it was seized by the Noto Family because of debt.”
Kashiwagi: “What … ?! Oi, if you had consulted me …”
Chinese Restaurant Manager: “Sorry. But I couldn’t bother you with this …”
Kashiwagi: “… Did you say Noto Family? A third-tier subsidiary of the Tojo Clan?”
Chinese Restaurant Manager: “Yup. Originally there was no problem because it’s almost the same as market price … Last month, they said they’d suddenly increase the amount … It’s double what it was before.”
Kashiwagi: “It doubled … ? That’s messed up. Did you hear the reason why?”
Chinese Restaurant Manager: “No … only that they raised the price … Well, that’s what the landowner says … I have no choice but accept it to protect this place.”
Kashiwagi: “Even so, working without holidays …”
Chinese Restaurant Manager: “… Well, it’s a job I like to do. Besides, I have memories here with my wife too … I can’t just let it go.”
Kashiwagi: “…”
Chinese Restaurant Manager: “Haha, well, isn’t that why Kashiwagi-san sometimes asks for expensive sweet and sour pork.”
Kashiwagi: “… … Yeah, that’s right. Don’t overdo it.”
—-
|3 weeks later.|
Chinese Restaurant Manager: “… Ah, welcome.”
Kashiwagi: “Chief … another month with no holidays?”
Chinese Restaurant Manager: “Because it’s for the restaurant … Cold noodles and water, coming right up.”
Kashiwagi: “No, I just came by to see how you were today. I’m telling this for your own good, it’s better to take a break—”
{The door opens.}
Noto Family Kumicho: “Hello~ it’s the Noto Family. Doing your job, Chief? Impressive, impressive.”
Kashiwagi: “… This guy.”
Chinese Restaurant Manager: “Ku-Kumicho-san … What are you doing here?”
Noto Family Kumicho: “This is a notice of a rent increase. It will be 600,000 yen starting next month. Nice to meet you.”
Chinese Restaurant Manager: “6 … ! 600,000?!”
Noto Family Kumicho: “Hmm? If you don’t agree, you know you can leave, right?”
Chinese Restaurant Manager: “Th … That’s … But this is really messed up … !”
Noto Family Kumicho: “If you have any complaints, then out with it! You want to be beaten up?!”
Chinese Restaurant Manager: “Hiii!”
Kashiwagi: “That’s enough.”
Noto Family Kumicho: “Aah? What the hell … !! Kashiwagi of the Kazama Family … ?!”
Kashiwagi: “This shop is close to me. I can’t overlook this anymore.”
Noto family Member: “Boss … ! This is bad … No way we can go up against that Kashiwagi …”
Noto Family Kumicho: “… Heh. I don’t need to be scared. This is for a worthy cause. Hehe, Kashiwagi-san. You shouldn’t say such things. Are you poking your nose into this matter? If you get in the way … you and Kazama will be ruined.”
Kashiwagi: “Ruined … ?”
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-END-
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CHAPTER 2
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Kashiwagi: “Ruined … ? That’s a huge claim.”
Noto Family Kumicho: “Hehe, do you think it’s a false threat? This matter … it’s the intention of Dojima-kumicho.”
Kashiwagi: “Dojima-kumicho’s … ?”
Noto Family Kumicho: “This land. Dojima-san wants it very much. It’s certainly a prime location. So if you get in the way … you are as good as going against Dojima Sohei. Kashiwagi-san, it’s not just you. Kazama-oyabun will not be separate. At any rate, you are under Dojima-kumicho. There’s reason to moderate your behavior. It’s not just demotion from Captain … maybe even excommunication … ?”
Chinese Restaurant Manager: “Ku-Kumicho-san … did you intend to crush this restaurant from the beginning?!”
Noto Family Kumicho: “Oi, oi, don’t say I’m a bad person. Don’t get hurt, Chief. Isn’t the 600,000 yen money going to Dojima-san, not us? ‘If I pay this much earnings, will you pardon the shop?’ you said. Am I not trying to protect this shop in my own way … ?”
Chinese Restaurant Manager: “I-Is that true?”
Noto Family Kumicho: “It’s true. So do your best, okay? Well, have a good day.”
{The Noto Family kumicho leaves.}
Kashiwagi: “Wait, this isn’t over.”
Chinese Restaurant Manager: “No, Kashiwagi-san!! Stay! What if something happens to Kazama-san?!”
Kashiwagi: “… … I’m sorry, Chief.”
Chinese Restaurant Manager: “Don’t worry. I’m still young. I need to show how much I want to protect my castle!”
Kashiwagi: “…”
—-
Dojima Sohei: “Isn’t it unusual for you to come all this way to see me? … Huh, Kashiwagi.”
Kashiwagi: “Sorry for taking up your time.”
Dojima Sohei: “And? What do you require.”
Kashiwagi: “The landgrabbing of a Chinese restaurant that the Noto Family is doing … can you cancel it?”
Dojima Sohei: “… Aah, that place?”
Kashiwagi: “Instead, I can prepare another piece of land you can have. It’s much larger than that one and is in a good location.”
Dojima Sohei: “… It’s useless. It’s not just that land. I’m going to demolish that whole area and redevelop it.”
Kashiwagi: “… If it’s money you want, I can prepare it.”
Dojima Sohei: “Foolish. 1 billion yen is not enough.”
Kashiwagi: “… Is there no way for it to be cancelled?”
Dojima Sohei: “… … Yeah, no.”
Kashiwagi: “… … Understood. Please excuse me.”
{Kashiwagi leaves.}
Dojima Sohei: “… Hm. I got a cold sweat. That bastard … giving me a murderous eye here of all places …”
—-
Kashiwagi: “…”
Punk A: “Oi! You’re Kashiwagi-san, right? Of the Kazama Family.”
Punk B: “No mistake. This is the guy. The one we’ve been looking for!”
Kashiwagi: “… Tch. Out of the way.”
Punk A: “Is that so~! We should be famous for beating the hell out of you~!”
Punk B: “As soon as that Kashiwagi is messed up, we’ll gain prestige!”
Kashiwagi: “… All right. However—"
Punk A and B: “Ah?”
Kashiwagi: “Long-term hospitalization costs money.”
Punk A: “Huh! You can’t afford it?! I’m looking forward to you crying and apologizing!!”
{Kashiwagi beats the punks up.}
Punk A: “Hiiii~! Sorry! Please forgive us … !!”
Kashiwagi: “Scram.”
Punk A and B: “We’re sorry~!!”
{The punks run away.}
Kashiwagi: (… Do I go see how the Chief is doing?)
—-
Kashiwagi: “Sorry to disturb, Chief—"
Chinese Restaurant Manager: “Uugh …”
Kashiwagi: “! Chief! What happened!”
{Kashiwagi helps him up.}
Chinese Restaurant Manager: “… Sorry, Kashiwagi-san. You had to see me in an awful state.”
Kashiwagi: “Would anyone else work until they collapse?”
Chinese Restaurant Manager: “But … if I can’t pay 600,000 yen, the shop will …”
{The door opens.}
Noto Family Kumicho: “Hello! I came to collect the rent~. What’s this, are you taking a break?”
Chinese Restaurant Manager: “I’m sorry, I haven’t got the money yet …”
Noto Family Kumicho: “…”
Chinese Restaurant Manager: “If you wait a little longer, I’ll definitely prepare it! So—"
Noto Family Kumicho: “A~ah. Geez, I wonder why you can’t pay 600,000. Well, even if you could pay it~ I was planning to increase the cost and evict you next month.”
Chinese Restaurant Manager: “Eh? Wh-What do you mean? The promise was that if I pay, I won’t be kicked out …”
Noto Family Kumicho: “Did you seriously believe that? Heehee, congratulations on falling for it! I chose to lie so I could squeeze money out of you! It’s a definite matter that you’re getting kicked out!”
Chinese Restaurant Manager: “I-I see …”
Kashiwagi: “… Bastard.”
Noto Family Kumicho: “Hiii … Kashiwagi? Wh-What is it … calm down! Should you lay your hands on this … ?”
Kashiwagi: “This … brute!!”
Chinese Restaurant Manager: “No!! Kashiwagi-san!!”
Kashiwagi: “Don’t stop me, Chief!”
Chinese Restaurant Manager: “No, you can’t!! You can’t get involved in this!! I can’t stand it if you and Kazama-san are inconvenienced for me!! So please … ! Kashiwagi-san … !”
Kashiwagi: “Chief …”
Noto Family Kumicho: “… Thanks to the Chief, I narrowly escaped death from Kashiwagi-san! One week from now. This store will be dismantled by the whole family. If you leave by then, you’ll miss it. But if you want to stay … I’ll make you feel at home with the store.”
{The Noto Family kumicho leaves.}
Kashiwagi: “Damn …”
Chinese Restaurant Manager: “Thank you Kashiwagi-san, that you stopped.”
Kashiwagi: “We have a week. I will move to find a way. So—"
Chinese Restaurant Manager: “… It’s okay. I’m giving up the shop. So Kashiwagi-san doesn’t have to …”
Kashiwagi: “Chief …”
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-END-
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CHAPTER 3
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|And a week later. Store dismantling day …|
Noto Family Kumicho: “It’s regrettable saying goodbye to this store. But we should be enthusiastic in dismantling!”
Chinese Restaurant Manager: “… !”
Noto Family Kumicho: “The Chief wears such a gloomy face. Can’t accept reality? You guys! Get started!!”
Chinese Restaurant Manager: “… !! W-Wait—”
Kashiwagi: “Wait!!”
Noto Family Kumicho: “Ah … ? isn’t that Kashiwagi-san? What are you going to do this time?”
Kashiwagi: “I want you to stop dismantling the store.”
Noto Family Kumicho: “From the start I told you it’s impossible— No. Hehe, that’s right. Speak to Dojima-kumicho for me, see if you can get past. But hey, it’s hard to persuade that Dojima-kumicho, right? Although … you’re very arrogant, aren’t you? Kashiwagi-san.”
Kashiwagi: “… …”
{Kashiwagi drops to his knees and bows low to the ground.}
Kashiwagi: “I’m asking you. Spare this store.”
Chinese Restaurant Manager: “! … Kashiwagi-san . . .”
Noto Family Kumicho: “Heh … hehehehe … I didn’t think you would perform dogeza. Isn’t it a nice view~? … Kashiwagi!!”
{The Noto Family kumicho kicks Kashiwagi.}
Chinese Restaurant Manager: “!! Kashiwagi-san!!”
Kashiwagi: “Don’t worry about me, Chief.”
Noto Family Kumicho: “Heeheehee … ! Still resisting? You know what that will get you … ?! Hey, you guys do it too!!”
Noto Family Members: “Yes, Boss!!”
{They beat Kashiwagi with wooden planks until the screen goes black.}
Noto Family Kumicho: “Haa … haa …”
Kashiwagi: “… What’s wrong … are you done . . . ?”
Noto Family Kumicho: “Tch … ! You’re still talking? What a stubborn guy …”
Noto Family Member A: “Bo-Boss, what are we going to do? At this rate, the sun will set.”
Noto Family Kumicho: “… Start dismantling the store. This guy is beaten so much he can’t move.”
Kashiwagi: “… Bastard …”
Chinese Restaurant Manager: “Kashiwagi-san … !!”
Noto Family Kumicho: “Crawl there and watch the shop fall to pieces!!”
?: “Isn’t it quite selfish? … Kashiwagi.”
Noto Family Kumicho: “Ah?”
Kashiwagi: “!! …”
Kazama: “When you don’t inform your parent. Heh. Isn’t it lonely?”
Noto Family Kumicho: “Ka-Kazama … ?!”
Kashiwagi: “Boss … ! Why …”
Kazama: “I was allowed to investigate the situation. Kashiwagi … If there’s a butt, I’ll wipe it. You should do as you want.”
Kashiwagi: “But …”
Kazama: “Do you like the cold noodles in this restaurant? Heh. Me too. The flavor of this restaurant must be preserved at all costs. Don’t make a fuss anymore. Stand up, Osamu. … Brace yourself!!”
Kashiwagi: “! … … yes sir!!”
Noto Family Kumicho: “Da-Damn it … for Kazama to come out … !! Aren’t these guys scared of Dojima … ?!”
Kashiwagi: “Are you ready … ? I’m getting considerably mad now.”
Noto Family Kumicho: “Sh-Shut up!! The Noto Family isn’t backing down!!!!”
Kashiwagi: “I see. Then … from the guy near death … bring it on!!!!”
{Kashiwagi defeats the Noto Family members.}
Noto Family Kumicho: “I-It can’t be … you should be the one all beaten up … all the members alone … this is Kashiwagi … !!”
Kashiwagi: “… You’re the only one left.”
Noto Family Kumicho: “Hi-Hiii!”
{The Noto Family kumicho runs away.}
—-
[Phone Booth]
Noto Family Kumicho: “Hello! This is Noto from the Noto Family! It’s an urgent situation!! I’m asking for Dojima-kumicho!!!! … … Ah, Dojima-kumicho! Heh, hehe … I’m saved … !! Please listen!! Kazama and Kashiwagi are interfering with the landgrabbing … !!”
Dojima Sohei: “There is no talk of that land anymore. I no longer need it.”
Noto Family Kumicho: “… … Eh? What does that mean …”
Dojima Sohei: “Heh … you’re not lucky.”
{Dojima hangs up.}
Noto Family Kumicho: “Do-Dojima-kumicho … !! Dojima-san!! Oi!! Dojima!!”
Kashiwagi: “It looks like the ladder has been removed.”
Noto Family Kumicho: “Hiii … He-Help …”
Kashiwagi: “Do you want to return the land to Chief?”
Noto Family Kumicho: “I … I understand …”
Kashiwagi: “Starting today, that shop is my territory. Don’t drop by ever again.”
Noto Family Kumicho: “Ye-Yes …”
Kashiwagi: “That’s right. Thank you!!”
{The Noto Family kumicho collapses.}
Kashiwagi: “Phew … aah … I’m hungry.”
—-
Chinese Restaurant Manager: “For absolutely everything … Thank you, Kashiwagi-san. Truly … how can I thank you . . . !!”
Kashiwagi: “Heh. Then today is a treat from the Chief.”
Chinese Restaurant Manager: “… Yeah. Yeah!! I’ll bring you the best cold noodles!! Please wait!!”
Kashiwagi: “Oi, don’t be too enthusiastic and cut your hands.”
Kazama: “That’s one matter settled.”
Kashiwagi: “Boss … I’m sorry!!”
Kazama: “Heh. Really. When I heard that you went to see Patriarch Dojima, I was surprised. Kashiwagi … rely on me more. We are parent and child.”
Kashiwagi: “! … I thank you … !! … Um, Boss.”
Kazama: “Hm?”
Kashiwagi: “That Dojima … how did you persuade him?”
Kazama: “Heh. Don’t ask about a boorish matter. Even if I’m a minor figure in the yakuza, I have a lot of negotiation material for such occasions.”
Kashiwagi: “But …”
Chinese Restaurant Manager: “Sorry to have kept you both waiting!! Special cold noodles, big mugs of beer, gyoza and fried chicken!!”
Kazama: “Hehe … this is irresistible. Well, the matter has concluded. Isn’t this quite a feast we’ve come by?”
Kashiwagi: “… Yes!”
{They dig in.}
Kashiwagi: “Phew~ … ! The cold noodles here are the best after all … ! Thank you for your continued support, Chief!”
Chinese Restaurant Manager: “Yup … ! This shop and the flavor you defended … I’ll protect it for the rest of my life!”
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-END-