I was out with a guy having a lovely time and he made a comment about a copper bangle bracelet I was wearing. I told him that it was really special to me, I got it during my semester abroad in South Africa from a local. It was a solid copper band but in the middle there was copper wire woven around.
He asked to take a closer look so I took it off and handed it to him. He then snapped it in half thinking the copper wire was a spring. I was visibly upset and he said that it was a sign that I needed to move on from my trip and stop living in the past (?!!?). I never spoke to him again.
We had some playful banter before our date and he asked me about my kinks so I told him I liked being choked. When we met up in the parking lot, dude immediately puts me in a WWE chokehold in broad daylight presumably thinking my panties were gonna drop right then and there.
Literally went on a date last night and was going really well until dessert when he said “god, I can’t wait to put kids in you.”. We hadn’t even talked about kids at that point.
We had dinner and all was going well, and we were wandering down the dark sidewalk engaged in conversation, when she walked straight into a signpost that neither of us noticed. I let out one nervous laugh before I could stop it, and she accused me of engineering the event for my amusement.
Like the first 80% of it was a nice/awkward but cute first date. Then at the end she pulled out her phone and started fighting with people on Twitter and narrating all of it. It was a long drive back.
My sister, one time she was on a first date, and she was liking the guy, he was checking off all the right boxes, and then he just blurted out “my dick is so big, it needs it’s own zip code”… Then it proceeded to go downhill from there, how many times a day he could ejaculate, etc. She was horrified.
Roommate went on a date. Guy opened with “I have 4 testicles! 2 are prosthetic! Because the real ones are tiny!”
He was ridiculously charming in a sweet sort of awkward way, and I was vibing so we go up to his bedroom and proceeded to get started on the intimacy portion of the evening. He removes my pants and basically lifts me onto a mid-height dresser of his (this is a good move, fellas, just fyi) to make out.
He then reached into his pocket to pull out what I imagined was going to be a condom or something…but instead he flicked open a massive knife and begins tracing the inside of my thigh without a single stitch of warning (this is not a good move, fellas).
I flipped my shit and ran out of there with him trailing me, trying to explain how he “thought I might enjoy that”.
I’d not long come back from Afghanistan, she asked about the temperature out there. 2 minutes later I was crying my eyes out and all my shit that I’d bottled up was coming out. She got all the details that she never asked for and it was awkward to the point where she couldn’t leave as I kept talking and crying, for 1.5 hours.
I was on a date with a newly divorced woman. We were having a nice dinner and getting to know each other before it turned awkward. She didn’t tell me she had kids until we were eating dinner, and she began moving things way too fast, talking about me meeting her kids right away, moving in together, etc. This was on our first date, and I didn’t want to be anybody’s step parent, much less get U-Hauly so quickly.
She got jealous because I was nice to the waitress.
The afternoon before what was supposed to be our second date, I got a voicemail, “I know you went out with my fiancee last night. I’m not mad at you. I’m sure you didn’t know I existed. But I do, and I’d appreciate it if you stopped seeing her.”
Happened to a friend of mine. They were meeting at a restaurant for dinner. She gets there and sees not only him but 2 other people at the table. Turns out he invited his parents to their date! So she, of course, excused herself to go to the bathroom and then just bounced. Talk about awkward. I have never laughed so hard as when she recounted her evening.
Having a great time– laughing. She rubbed her titties on me and played with her hair. Then after a few more laughs she said I reminded her of her brother. Nuff said.
Everything was going wonderfully until he got into a fight with a homeless person and then wanted to fly to the Caribbean for our second date.
My coworker went on a date and the next day I asked him how it went. He said it went really well until he was driving her home, when she suddenly decided to do heroin in his car.
Had an amazing date. Went to his place.
Dude had a car bed.
He seemed like a cool guy, then he showed me his poo blog.
I met up for a drink with a girl I had been chatting to online for a few days, and all was going well. We got onto the subject of kids and I told her about mine.
She replied with “I have three kids. Well, HAD three kids. I had them adopted. I couldn’t be arsed with them”
She invited me back for a shag almost immediately after that, but there was no way I was even considering going.
They ended up asking me for 40$ when I got them a ride back home.
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