A leaked memo from a chief impact officer

DEAR COLLEAGUES,
This is my first memo as the newly appointed chief impact officer at Global United Financial Firms (GUFF) and I would like to thank everyone for welcoming me to the group. Some of you will be unfamiliar with the role of chief impact officer, but you may have seen headlines about Prince Harry taking on the role at a Silicon Valley firm. Of course, I don’t have the prince’s star quality but I hope I can do the same job in enhancing the reputation of GUFF that Harry has done for Britain’s royal family.

The job title may seem odd, but with a change of one letter in the title, think of me as a “champo”, championing the things our organisation cares about. I will be flying round the world to promote our focus on combating climate change. Along with the chief happiness officer, I will be trying to maintain employee morale. Expect to receive regular weekly surveys about your physical and mental health, and on whether you are able to get on with your work or feel bogged down by corporate bureaucracy. Remember, there is no “I” in team but there are three in chief impact officer. I will be using them to watch over you all.