Why is America not the lawless, gun-free, socialist wasteland Republicans warned us about?
Where is the country-destroying migrant surge that was supposed to come after Title 42 ended? Why has no one taken your guns? Why isn't Hillary Clinton locked up? So many questions.
Last I checked, there are approximately 3,756 Republicans running for the GOP presidential nomination, and the vast majority of them – particularly the Donalds Trump and the Rons DeSantis of the world – want voters to know they should be terrified.
Terrified of what, you ask? Oh, I dunno. Socialism. Marxism. “Radical” teachers. Mickey Mouse. Drag queens. “Others.” Pretty much everything, it seems. All the fears. (I’d add spiders to that list, but that’s just me, a liberal scaredy cat.)
Fearmongering is a tried-and-true Republican Party tradition and with the 2024 election cycle about to kick into full gear, it’s mongering season.
Republican fearmongering, and some questions about why fears are never realized
So I have a suggestion for GOP voters, from the MAGA loyalists to the (three remaining) moderates to everyone in between. The first GOP presidential debate will be Aug. 23 in Milwaukee. At that event, you should demand answers to the following fear-related questions:
Why is “her” – the Hillary Clinton character in the “Lock her up!” chant – not locked up? Former President Donald Trump was supposed to do that, yet “her” walks free.
Why haven't we been literally invaded by umpteen South American migrant caravans?
Where is the country-destroying migrant surge that was supposed to come after Title 42 ended?
Why aren’t there violent MS-13 gang members on every street corner?
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Why haven't the tyrannical Democrats taken our guns?
Why hasn’t Obamacare been repealed?
Where is the GOP health care plan? (Coming in two weeks, I’m sure of it!)
Why, with godless, devious Democrat Joe Biden as president, are Americans still allowed to say “Merry Christmas”?
Why did the COVID-19 vaccines work? Why did they not contain tracking chips that allow the government to monitor us?
Why has the economy not collapsed and why has the American way of life not been destroyed?
Why is there not, as Michigan gubernatorial candidate Tudor Dixon promised in 2022 before not becoming governor, “a drag queen in every classroom, indoctrinating our children”?
Why haven’t drag shows turned all Americans into drag queens?
Years of fear, with so few results – it's almost as if they're manipulating voters
Why are America’s big cities not actually dystopian hellscapes?
Why is the murder rate declining when we’ve been told repeatedly that crime is spiraling out of control?
How come our children are able to watch Disney movies without turning gay?
Why are Americans still allowed to speak English?
Why are we still able to hold dear all the things we hold dear?
I was specifically promised widespread socialism. What the heck?
Why has nobody come to confiscate our guns? We have actual buckets filled with guns in the basement and bullets everywhere and not a single damn Democrat has come to rip them from our hands, cold and dead or otherwise.
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Why has virtually everything a Republican candidate or Fox News talking head ever said to instill fear in our hearts wound up being either total nonsense or, at best, an almost bizarre overexaggeration of a relatively minor issue?
Why has America not been transformed into a socialist wasteland?
Why, for the last time, do we still have all of our guns?
You deserve answers to these questions, my Republican friends. Because often, in this big and confusing world of ours, there are inescapable signs that suggest you’re being lied to.
Learning to spot them is an important life skill. Off you go.
Follow USA TODAY columnist Rex Huppke on Twitter @RexHuppke and Facebook facebook.com/RexIsAJerk