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    Go to relationship_advice
    r/relationship_advice 10 mo. ago
    by [deleted]
    [deleted by user]
    Archived post. New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast.
    Sort by:
    365 comments
    AutoModerator
    • 10 mo. ago

    Welcome to r/relationship_advice. Please make sure you read our rules here. We'd like to take this time to remind users that:

    • We do not allow any type of am I the asshole? or situations/content involving minors

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  • Report
  • [deleted]
    • 10 mo. ago

    This has to be missing a huge amount of info. Nothing you said implies anything about prostitution. At all. Also how do you know that she intentionally gave him an STI? What did you do that earned you a restraining order? How do you know how she got his address? It seems more likely that he gave it to her or she just looked it up. Not only would HR have that, it's all over the internet and she could have just Googled it. Lotta missing info.

    You're angry. That's understandable. You're also not listening to anyone here who is giving you very reasonable advice, so I'm not sure why you're here other than to be validated by a bunch of teenagers who have never been in a serious relationship (or court). That said, I'm going to reiterate some of the good advice you've already gotten:

    Your ex did this to you, but he's also your EX. Moving on is the best option. However, because you're clearly not going to do that, at least make sure your story makes sense before embarrassing yourself in court. If you have no evidence of actual prostitution (sleeping with married men isn't prostitution), or that she knowingly gave him an STI, or that she used pay stubs to find your address, and that's not going to do anything in court but make you look crazy. I'm also 99% sure you can't sue someone who you didn't have sex with for giving you an STI. If your husband knew that he had an STI and gave it to you, you could sue him possibly. I'm just saying that you can't sue people for things you have no evidence of and just suspect, and if you really insist on going this route then you need to have your ducks in a row. You're going to get laughed out of court if you tell them what you wrote here.

    A much cheaper and more beneficial route would be to go to therapy and move on, rather than spending time and money on something that honestly sounds insane and will go nowhere in court.

  • Report
  • checco314
    • 10 mo. ago

    If there is an injunction against you, you should take that as evidence that maybe you aren't looking at this completely rationally. Injunctions don't just fall out of the sky. You would have to be doing some pretty bonkers stuff for a judge to order you not to contact the company again. You should stop worrying about sidechick, and start thinking about therapy.

  • Report
  • whats_a_portlandian
    • 10 mo. ago

    I think you will be really helpful to yourself if you find a therapist and work through some of this with someone who is professionally trained.

  • Report
  • AlphaCharlieUno
    • 10 mo. ago

    An evidence of an affair is not evidence of prostitution. A company only had a duty to employees and not you, the ex-wife. It appears your ex-husband never raised a sexual harassment complaint and therefore you can’t.

    Your ex- cheated on you. He gave you an STD. That’s sad and fucked up. Your issue is with your husband. While the AP is fucked up for having an STD and passing it to your husband knowingly, that’s not against the company.

    You have been told by several lawyers, in the comments, that you don’t have a case. I know it’s never easy to “calm down” when someone tells you to “calm down”, but you are a mess and doing far more harm to yourself, than good. I hope you have family and friends that you can lean on right now, because you need to. Leave your ex, his AP, and his job alone. Do your best to find a hobby, find some peace, and move on.

  • Report
  • Schnarkysquirrel
    • 10 mo. ago

    Wow why are you investing this much effort into (sidechick) and not your husband, the only one of the two who made vows to you and the only one who owed you any loyalty or commitment?

    If he's your ex, then you've dealt with it and it's over. Move on.

  • Report
  • [deleted]
    • 10 mo. ago

    You have a shitty ass husband leave HR alone

  • Report
  • LizardManelli
    • 10 mo. ago

    You are obviously, super hurt, and that is - obviously - completely valid.

    However, to accuse her of prostitution (how did she get paid - in dick?), intentional transmission of an STD (you’d have to gain access to her medical records, prove that she knew she had it and intentionally had unprotected sex with your husband?!) - even puling your ex husband’s pay stubs; any defence lawyer worth his salt would just say he disclosed the information to her and how would you prove he didn’t?

    Again, you’re understandably furious - but shouldn’t your ex husband be the main target of your wrath? He made vows to you. She’s just some random he broke them with.

    Best you could probably hope for, after a substantial charge & at the cost of your mental health, would be that she gets dismissed following a disciplinary hearing.

    Is she worth it!? I would consider cutting my losses and moving on.

    You’re probably better served going after every penny from him in the divorce settlement.

  • Report
  • jay10033
    • 10 mo. ago

    Umm, leave that company alone. This is an issue between you and your ex-husband. Emphasis on the ex.

  • Report
  • Spare_Special_3617
    • 10 mo. ago

    You need to dial it back a bit and seek help, you ve become problematic to yourself. Your husband had a 4 yr affair, concern yourself with that part and quit harassing her, you won t win, if the company chooses not to investigate, discipline her that is their business, not yours.

  • Report
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