What Do Women Think of MGTOW?
Since we keep getting asked about it
As a woman who’s spent a few years on Reddit, I’d like to discuss a recurring phenomenon I’ve noticed there. No, I’m not talking about r/AskReddit’s obsession with people’s masturbatory habits.
I’m talking about the frequent question asked on female-centric subreddits.
‘So…what do you ladies think of MGTOW?’
Cue the eye roll.
Some of you lucky souls might be wondering, ‘what the hell is MGTOW?’ Let’s break it down, shall we? MGTOW stands for, ‘Men Going Their Own Way.’ It’s a subreddit for straight men who have chosen to remain single.
As a straight woman, I’ve taken it upon myself to answer this question.
Since learning about MGTOW, I began to cry alone. A lot. Sometimes I even cried myself to sleep, wondering where all the good men have gone. After further reflection, I gained some self-awareness. I realized how awful and cruel women have been to men for so long. Filled with remorse, I began to pray, to plead with God himself: ‘please God, send back the men! I promise I won’t be awful anymore! I’ll do anything to change! Anything to bring back the men! I’ll even tell all the straight women of the world to lift their game. We’ve learned our lesson, and we are sorry! Please stop punishing us, for we cannot go on.’
This is, I suspect, the answer those men are hoping to hear. Or a variation on that, that they can read between the lines. My actual answer is somewhat different. Because the men of MGTOW have different attitudes, I have varied opinions about it.
The men on MGTOW who have gone their own way because women don’t want to date them.
Some men struggle to attract any women. Having had no luck, they throw their hands up in frustration and join MGTOW. They’re angry that no woman has ‘given them a chance.’ My opinion? If that’s what works for you, I respect that.
Dating isn’t for everyone. You can choose to make more efforts to attract women if you want to, but you’re not obligated to. When men fall into this category and ask women what they think of it, I’m not sure what they’re expecting from us. I mean, none of us wanted to date these guys, so how upset do they expect us to be? What are we missing here, exactly?
If a guy joins MGTOW for this reason, I wouldn’t notice, but I support their autonomy to do so. I wish them well in life.
Since the banning of certain incel subreddits, MGTOW has a few incel hangers-on in their sub. Don’t ask women what they think of incels. We feel the same way about them as the rest of the world, and probably most MGTOW devotees.
The MGTOW members who antagonize women
Hating women is a big theme for MGTOW. I wouldn’t say it’s all men there, but it is most. Now, I’m not here to tell anyone how they should feel about anyone. If someone hates women, I can’t stop them.
I do have a problem with MGTOW members who boast about making an effort to ‘destroy’ a woman every day. What I gather this means, is they’re rude to a woman in some way. If a man has gone his own way, why is this sort of petty, immature behavior necessary? Why is it something to be proud of? Why would any self-respecting MGTOW allow women to live rent-free in his head like this?
More to the point, why not leave women alone if this is how they feel? If someone feels a need to harass a certain group of people, have they really ‘gone their own way’ away from them? Leave innocent women who are going about their day alone. I have no respect for this particular flavor of MGTOW.
The MGTOW members who still use women as fleshlights
These are the men who choose to remain single. Then they brag that they still ‘pump and dump’ women, or use the services of prostitutes.
What does this woman think of these MGTOW members? Thumbs down. You haven’t gone your own way. You are merely a single man, having no strings attached sex. If a man wants to go his own way, he’d better go all the way, or he is objectively not MGTOW. Bonus opinion: if you use porn, you have not gone your own way, unless your porn only features men.
The ‘you’ll be sorry’ types
Some members believe women will want them more once they’ve left the building. My opinion? I laugh, then feel a little sorry for them. How long are they going to wait for evidence of this? These are the men who trawl female centred spaces on Reddit to ask women what they think of MGTOW. No one cares, mate. You do you. We’re happy for you, but keep going. If you have to come back to ask us, you haven’t left us.
The nitpickers
These MGTOW members comb the internet for evidence of how terrible women are. Their war cry is ‘AWALT!’ Which means, ‘All Women Are Like That.’ These men also like to enter women’s spaces to cry, ‘not all men!’ Well, probably.
This breed of MGTOW gets a rush from watching women fail, and videos of women being assaulted. What do you think women think of these dudes? Come on, have a guess. It’s obvious we’re not going to miss guys like this, right?
These guys are so obsessed with how much they hate women (again: as is their right. I don’t need people to love my gender if they don’t want to), that I’m shocked they’d consider joining a sub called MGTOW. If MGTOW banned members from talking about women these guys would have nothing to talk about.
Men who have escaped bad relationships with women
There are members who have had terrible experiences in their past relationships. What do I, a woman, think about this? I think it’s vital that these men have a space to talk openly about their experiences. They need to be able to express their feelings and have support for what they are going through. No snark; that’s how I feel.
Society has taught men to repress their feelings. To refuse help when they are sad, depressed, traumatized or scared. When feminists speak about toxic masculinity, this is an important part of that. Clementine Ford’s book, Boys Will Be Boys talks about this problem at length. She emphasises the importance of men’s freedom to be vulnerable.
I fully support this side of MGTOW, when men share their experiences of abuse or manipulation. Male suicide is a serious problem, worldwide. I support any opportunity for men to find places and people that allow them to open up about their problems.
I’ve saved my favorite type of MGTOW men for last
There are men on MGTOW who make posts where they don’t mention women at all. These men have chosen to stop dating women anymore. They instead opt to level-up their own lives. They post photos of countries they’ve travelled to, their treasured pets, a gourmet meal they’ve cooked. They post photos of their home, set up exactly how they like it.
These dudes have made a choice and stuck with it. They live their life on their own terms and seem to be enjoying themselves. They’re saving up their dollars and spending it exactly how they see fit. And guess what? They have literally gone their own way. They don’t seem interested in running back to ask the womenfolk what they think of it. Because they don’t care, and why should they?
They’re not trying to get a rise out of women; they’re doing their own thing and loving it. All I can say is, good for them. Any man or woman who chooses to live this way makes me ecstatic. I get a kick out of seeing people who aren’t victims of societal expectations. We should all be the designers of our own destiny. Those who manage to achieve it have nothing but my unyielding respect.
We need more people in the world who live their best lives. I see those types of posts on MGTOW and it inspires me to consider what improvements I could make in my own life.
It shouldn’t matter to anyone what women think about the movement
Men: if you want to go your own way, go your own way. Women aren’t seeking relationships with non-willing participants. If you’re happy, I’m happy for you. To those who haven’t truly gone their own way and have a chip on their shoulder about women? We never wanted you anyway. Our opinion shouldn’t matter. It’s your life. Live it the best way you can.
![Sharon Alger](data:image/svg+xml,<svg xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg" width="40" height="40"><rect fill-opacity="0"/></svg>){kind=small}
