The 3w4 INTJ

This post was inspired by reading Enneagram blogs than write about the 3w4 like we’re some vain, flashy, evil species intent on ruining the lives of others. I’m writing my own interpretation of the 3w4 based on my thoughts and actions and observations. AKA: ~~It’s by no means a researched analysis of personality, ergo I don’t want complaints~~

(This post could also apply to ENTJs, or 3w4s in general)

We have this intense drive to be successful–whether in our community, our family, or in the eyes of the entire world.

Usually we are after power, wealth, fame, etc.
We want it all, and God help anyone who stands in our way
We want to be in a position where we can be admired and recognized for our superiority.
We work towards who we want to eventually become.
We’re extremely hard workers, almost to the point that other people consider us to be workaholics
We want to be perfect, or at least as damn close as we can get
We’re rational, logical, efficient, and pragmatic at the core.
A life without success is a life wasted
We don’t chase after things like “happiness” or “love” or “family”. We chase after our dreams and assume those things come along the way. Even if they don’t, we aren’t particularly affected.
Ask any 3w4 for their vision of a perfect, ideal world and they’ll show you their entire step-by step plan.
Just kidding, we don’t give those out to ~~just~~ anyone.
We’re smart, dangerously so. We’ll do anything to get to the top, even if it involves deceit.
That being said, we know our limits and will never cross those limits.
We aren’t sycophants. Yes, we’ll sometimes suck-up to those in power, but we aren’t doing it to get a “good job” or “I appreciate you” here and there. We do it because we understand the value of gaining favor. We aren’t just going to be submissive to someone’s every whim.
We believe in hard work, but we also think why work any harder than you need to?
It’s not a matter of pride. Helping out a professor or complimenting your superior will at the very least make yourself known. It’ll come in handy if you ever want a recommendation letter or a new opportunity.
Flattery can help, but its not the only thing we rely on to get what we want.
We’re excellent networkers. We’re charming, but not brown-nosing; Polite, but not overtly so; Passionate about our goals, but still guarded.
We’re detail-oriented & keen observers. We see every twitch, every nervous habit, every frown you try to conceal. We psychoanalyze everyone and everything.
Which is why we can read everyone fairly well.

But aren’t 3w4s cold robots?

How do I explain this? We study all your mannerisms in order to better understand you. We know what you feel and why you feel that way.
It’s just, we don’t have any inclination to reach out and confront the other person.
Remember, we’re observers. We watch everyone discreetly and catalogue all their habits and the way they move and how they speak. It helps us better predict their actions.
We watch others to try to understand how their mind works in order to have communicate better.
We’ve gotten so good at this that we can sometimes even profile someone if we only speak for a few minutes, or even based on their appearance alone.
That’s why our first impressions of somebody are almost never wrong.
“But you can’t judge a book by it’s cover! Everyone is different!”
No, they are not. At least not in our eyes.

We’re Elitists

We think most people in this world are boring, utterly unremarkable and similar to everyone else. Sure they have different passions and hobbies and personalities. But to us, they’re relatively forgettable.
We know when someone is different from the rest. When someone is worth being real to. I’m not sure how, we just know. Call it an intuition, of sorts.
We see that sliver of clarity in their eyes, something they try so hard to conceal from everyone else.
We know because it’s the exact same thing we do to “blend in”.
We will never reveal our true intentions to just anyone. Assuming we do open up to somebody, you can guarantee we’ve known them for a long time and/or we completely trust them (good luck with this)
We’re snobs. Pretentious, utterly pompous snobs.
It’s “Us vs. Them”. We consider ourselves to be on a pedestal. In our minds, we have convinced ourselves that we are more superior than the common person. We tend to think that we see things other people don’t. We think we have an odd way of thinking others wouldn’t appreciate. That’s why we sometimes pretend to be somebody we aren’t.
It’s not that we’re hiding ourselves from the general population, it’s that 3w4s believe the general population does not deserve to see the true us
“That’s so ego-centric and selfish and elitist”
Yes, we know. That’s why we try to hide it. We’re not going to apologize for that aspect of our personalities, but we’re courteous so we’ll hide it in front of you.
Yes, we’re polite. We may be vain assholes inside, but on the outside we have charisma and politeness and are actually quite hilarious
There’s a reason most (not all) people like us.

We’re Confident & Insecure

We are self aware. If we’re good at something, we won’t be afraid to say it. If we’re bad at something, we’ll keep quiet or avoid it until we become better at it.
Just because we’re confident, people sometimes mistake it as arrogance.
Yes, I know, we can be arrogant, but more often than not, we aren’t trying to be arrogant.
If we brag, we’re subtle about it.
There will be no degrading of one’s self just to get a compliment. We don’t do that.
We’re confident maybe 90% of the time, but then the rest of the 10% insecurity hits and then it hits hard.
We’ll look at ourselves in the mirror 99 times and think about how amazing we are, but then the 100th time we’ll suddenly find about 400 flaws.
I don’t even know how to explain it. It’s like one day we’re at the top of the world, and then suddenly out of the blue we feel like the most useless person on the planet.
It’s sudden, and strange and we have no idea what to do for those minutes, hours, or even days. We’re so used to feeling so sure about ourselves than when the doubt kicks in, we are suddenly paralyzed.
But, just as fast as insecurity hits us, it wears off that fast too. We don’t like to wallow in that feeling of uselessness.
Our happiness lies in our achievements and the praise we receive.
If we fail, it hurts us far more than the average individual because we close ourselves off. Our sense of self-worth lies in our achievements. Our achievements define who we are.
And when we don’t achieve…well…that’s when the doubt kicks in.

We’re Stubborn and Open-Minded

Sensing a trend of contradictions?
Get used to it, 3w4s are so hypocritical and contradictory you’ll think we’ll bipolar.
No, it’s not because we’re actually bipolar or insane or uncertain about our own opinions. It’s because (this is going to be hard to understand) but we’re quite open-minded. We see everything from multiple perspectives. All we want is to do things the best way. We will be so stubborn and stick to our opinions until the day we die–unless you introduce a better way of thinking. Then we’ll do a 360º turn and switch to the new “best way”.
But for the opinions/values/beliefs we currently hold, we are 100% confident in them. If we weren’t, we wouldn’t have such beliefs.
We are part of the small population that understands that people have beliefs other than the ones we hold. Now, we won’t like it, but we’re not going to see you as any less for the political/general opinions you have.
We don’t particularly care about the opinions you have. It isn’t worth our time to try to change your opinions. We don’t care about you unless you become an obstacle in our path.
Obstacles must move, or be moved.
We do things our own way. Nobody tells us what we can and can’t do.
We’re not particularly deferential to authority or to our own superiors. We don’t like it when someone is considered to be “above” us. Sure we’ll be polite and respectful to them, but we have a secret underlying disdain for anybody who tells us what to do, directly, or indirectly.

We Can be Anything You Want Us to Be.

What does that mean?
We do this thing where we shift aspects of our personality to better connect to the person/group we are communicating with.
It’s just adaptation. Everyone does it to some extent. After all, you don’t talk to your boss the same way you talk to your friends do you? We just do the whole “shifting personality” to a greater extent.
Sometimes we’ll create a whole new personality–It’s just called being a social chameleon.
But the beauty of the 3w4 mask is that we can be 10 different people at once, but we’ll never betray the true personality we have.
Why do we do this?
I introduce you to the 3w4 Paradox: We don’t care about the rest of the world, but we want the world to care about us
We want everyone we meet to admire us. If we can get that by just pretending to be similar to them, then why not?
We want to impress everyone, and everyone should be impressed by us.
True, our methods are unorthodox and yes, our motives aren’t exactly altruistic, but again, it’s only because we want people to know us. Smile when they say our name. All we want is to be recognized.

Appearances Matter

The common stereotype is that 3w4s want to stand out and be looked at
Well…this one is pretty much true
We value our appearance because we know its a factor in our success.
We dress like we own the bank instead of the person asking for a loan.
We’re always well-dressed outside our homes (and even inside sometimes).
We’re sometimes flashy, but usually we try to be more classy than bold.
Our clothes are not things we use to experiment, but items we use to enhance our image.
We want to stand out for the right reasons.
Sure we might lust after luxurious and ridiculously expensive things like $700 heels (@Louboutins) or flashy sports cars, but its so much more than just a materialistic motive.
Owning these things makes us feel superior to the people that don’t own them. It’s a sense of pride to own something expensive because it’s proof of our hard work.
In fact, its less about owning something luxurious and more about the satisfaction. We consider it an investment, of sorts
You’ll never see us bragging out our cars or how much we paid for the view from our apartment. That’s crass.
We don’t like to be pureposefully showy. It’s more of just having a new watch rather than us screaming “LOOK AT MY NEW WATCH”
Basically, we know we have to look the part to get the part.

Summary

We’re shrewd, not crude.
Ambitious, not delusional
Narcissistic, but sometimes insecure
Machiavellian, not evil
Observing, not rash
Prideful, not undignified
Selfish, but isn’t everyone (at least we can admit it)
Self-Aware, not arrogant

We want to be more than just noticed, we want to be remembered. We want to feel worthy. And we’ll do anything to earn it.