Hi all, throw away account as my family uses reddit. I am 22F.
TRIGGER WARNING: abuse, child abuse, sexual assault, suicide attempt.
Some background: I was molested by a family member when I was 7/8 and told my mum. She helped me the best she could and it was reported, but nothing happened. I was just told to not go near him anymore. After this, at age 9/10, I got into what I was told was a relationship with a 16yo girl. Sexual things went on but not sex itself. After this, at age 14, I got into another “relationship” with a late 20s man who worked at a school nearby. I didn’t think it was wrong at the time, but nothing more than texting happened. At age 16 I got into my first proper relationship with my ex where he emotionally and physically abused me. My mum was friends with him on FB and even sent him a happy birthday. At age 19 after we broke up, a friend of mine set me up on a blind date, where he forced me to do stuff on him until I ran to the bathroom and had a panic attack, and he eventually got fed up of waiting for me to come back and left. After all this happened, I came to realise everything that had happens to me in my life and attempted to kill my self twice. The attempts obviously didn’t work but really took their toll on me
I’m a lot better mentally now but still have a couple problems.
All of this stuff is very personal to me. Only a few close friends know. I will be going to therapy after restrictions in my country ease up as recently I’ve been experiencing trauma from all of this. None of the other stuff apart from the first case got reported as my belief in the system and justice completely fell through. I have no evidence of these things now and do not want to do anything, but just be able to talk to people more openly and become somewhat of an advocate for abuse.
My mum has diagnosed depression, anxiety and BPD. She really struggles with them all and in order to come out about the things that happened to me, I think it’s only fair I have her the heads up first as it would be shitty for her to find out via FB or Twitter. Problem is, I’m not sure how or if to approach this and tell her everything or not. I don’t want to set her back as she’s being doing a little better the past couple weeks. Do I tell her, and if so, how?
Sorry if this is a lot to take in, it’s been bottled up for a while and I needed to let it out.
Tl/dr: I’ve been abused by 5 people in my life and tried to kill myself twice. I want to become an advocate for mental health and abuse but my mum doesn’t know any of this (she has mental health issues herself). Should I tell her or risk hurting and upsetting her?
