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From today's featured article [Feature an article]

Good morning, children! I see you've already taken your seats. Let me introduce myself for the new kid who joined us today, Jodie. My name is Mr. Garrison and I'm the best teacher in the whole world. I'm also YOUR teacher, so I guess you should feel extremely lucky this morning. So let me tell you some stuff about myself, so that we know each other better, and break the ice between us, before we get to the actual school day.

Butters, please pay attention.

So I'm going to write the title of each paragraph of my biography on the blackboard, like I am reading an Uncyclopedia article about myself to you. You all know what Uncyclopedia is, right? Butters, you know what Uncyclopedia is? Good. So let's just begin with my early days as a charming kid in Nebraska or something.

When I grew up in Nebraska or something, which is a lovely state in south America or something, I was growing up with my father and mother who both had a heavy southern accent. (Full article...)

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Did you know... [edit]

... that 45% of Japan's electrical and nuclear power is produced by manual labor? (Pictured)

... that wearing a Top Hat is not only a sound fashion choice, it gives you somewhere to hide candy?
... about Alliteration articulating an artistic approach aimed at annotating and arranging alphabetic accouterments as alarmingly asinine alignments?
... that the only thing money can't buy is poverty?
... the muffin man?
... about Alliteration articulating an artistic approach aimed at annotating and arranging alphabetic accouterments as alarmingly asinine alignments?
... that 98% of Americans have no idea what they would do in a hypothetical situation?
... Altaïr has excelled in the tactics of fooling the mentally challenged?

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In the news [edit]

Gina Lollobrigida 1927 – 2023

Late delivery: Demi Lovato and a hurricane team up to fix a supercomputer by turning it off and then back on
Viggo Mortensen joins Next James Bond
The movie Casablanca is 80 years old. Here's Looking At You, Kid!
President pardons Türkiye
Pennsylvania: Should I vote for Mike Doyle or Mike Doyle?
People in Los Angeles have another thing to make their lives more miserable
Benedict Cumberbatch: Doctor Strange 2 a better horror movie than Halloween Ends
Russian people are sick of being Russians
You won't believe who dies on The Crown
Mmm mmm mmm mmm

Ongoing: Russian Invasion · ABBA · Alected
Recent deaths: Barbara Walters · Inside Job · Gina Lollobrigida · Wikipedia · David Crosby
Upcoming deaths: Twitter · Warner Bros.

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On this day [edit]

February 1: [Insert Holiday Here]

[Insert Year Here] - [Insert event here]
[Insert Year Here] - [Insert overdone joke about certain desiccated religious figurehead here]
[Insert Year Here] - [Insert crude sexual innuendo here]
[Insert Year Here] - [Insert event involving France and one of two French stereotypes here]
[Insert Year Here] - [Insert appalling racist joke added by an anonymous contributor from 2007 here]
[Insert Year Here] - [Insert bad pun here]
[Insert Year Here] - [Insert what is either an obscure pop cultural reference or just some stupid random shit here]
[Insert Year Here] - [Insert lame in-joke here]

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Picture of the day

"The greatest trick Christopher Robin ever pulled was convincing the world he didn't exist."

Image credit: Mhaille
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Uncyclopedia languages

This Uncyclopedia is written in English, supposedly. Started in 2005, it currently contains 37,167 articles. Many other parody wikis are available; some of the lamest are listed below.