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Lessons I learnt from my parents
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Papa joined a young company as a sales rep. Within a year, he got a call from another company. 2X salary plus a car. This was 1985. And a big deal.
He took the offer.
2 years down, the company shuts.
The company he quit, Ranbaxy, becomes a giant.
Dad was jobless for a year...
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I remember sitting as a family, filling ballpen refills because he was paid for every 100 pens filled.
I remember days when Ma Papa had just 1 meal a day.
But my sister and I went to the best schools possible.
We knew we didn't have money, but were never made to feel so.
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Papa took a risk. And it didn't pay off.
He could never recover from it.
But he would take the same risk if he had to.
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Lesson:
Risk and Failure is a state of mind.
There should never be any fear.
And no regret.
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Ma is one of the most empathetic people I know.
Her sensitivity is her super power, because she has a knack for knowing what the other person might be feeling.
Whenever there was a conflict in my head or I was angry at someone, she always used to ask, "Woh kya soch rahe honge?"
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Lesson:
It is just as important to ask "What will they be thinking" as it is to ask "How am I feeling?"
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Papa struggled his entire professional life. His risks didn't pay off, we were perpetually in debt, went through some extremely tough times financially.
But one thing that never changed was how hard he continued to work.
I was always amazed. Always wondered what kept him going.
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Lesson:
Nothing matters more in life than showing up everyday.
To your work, to your responsibilities, to your relationships.
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Whenever I won any award or did anything praise-worthy, Ma would of course be happy, but she would instantly shower her favorite blessing
"Bhagwaan tumhe humesha zameen par rakhe."
(May god always keep you grounded)
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Lesson:
Never forget where you have come from.
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Be is a family gathering, a wedding ceremony or even a normal dinner, Papa will always carry his book of Kashmiri Songs.
In the hope that someone asks him to sings.
He believes he sings well (and he does).
So he can't fathom why people won't ask him to sing :)
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Lesson:
If you do not believe in yourself, no one else will.
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I dropped out of my PhD and came back to India. At 24, I had no plans, no goals, no direction, no money. Ma Papa weren't too happy, but to their credit they did their best to hide their anguish.
One day, still remember I was brushing my teeth, Ma comes sheepishly to me and says
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"Would you want to consider taking the IAS examination? You know, because I think you might make a good IAS office"
It was a request.
For me to consider something.
I politely declined, but realized how blessed I was to have parents who would "request" theirs kids to consider.
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Lesson:
Respect doesn't come from title, age or experience.
It comes from conduct.
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I have lost count of the times Papa would step into a situation whenever everything else has failed and redeem the moment.
Be it as trivial as "wedding guests have arrived and the food isn't even prepared" to as critical as "where we will arrange money for his ticket to the US?"
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Lesson:
Whenever everyone else fails you, you still have yourself.
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Ma always stood for perfection. But she has a very interesting and inspiring definition it.
Perfection is when you do something with such finesse that people are left amazed at how you even did it.
But for you, it is not a big deal.
It is a habit.
It is natural.
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Lesson:
Perfection is personal.
It is what makes others wonder. But for you it is the only way you know!
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Both Ma Papa come from Srinagar, where they grew up with little to no privilege.
They did not go to any top school.
They did not have any stamp that would set them for life.
They just worked their way through. Like most others in their generation.
Replying to
And it often makes me cry to realize how much they went through just to ensure that my sister and I got the best we could.
We went to good schools, we were given the freedom to live our lives, we were always loved and taken care of.
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And I am convinced that most of what we are today, is because of the upbringing we had.
We lived a life without money, in extreme conditions quite often, but we always made sure we had a good time.
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4 of us on our Bajaj scooter, going to India Gate with a bag containing a pressure cooker full of peas pulao, a sheet to sit on, plates and cutlery.
Ending the evening with the 5 rupee ice candy from kwality.
I guess this is where I got the courage to pursue happiness.
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I knew what it was to live without money.
But I didn't know what it was to live without happiness.
Today, one of my key goals is to give my parents all the money they need. To do whatever they want.
They already know what it is to be happy :)
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Ankur Warikoo
@warikoo
Lessons I learnt from my parents
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He definitely is. But maybe he doesn't want to talk about that trauma inflicted on his people. So please don't compel him
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