Be Careful What You Covet

The wrong desires can drive you to ignore good advice and your own conscience.

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Sam Bankman-Fried. (Photo by Craig Barritt/Getty Images.)

Dear Reader (including anyone who canceled their trip to the World Cup after Qatar banned booze at matches),

I want to apologize in advance, as this will likely not be what students of the genre call a “good ‘news’letter.” A whole bunch of personal, professional, and technological problems, challenges, and ill-chosen monkey-paw-wishes conspired against me today. So, now I’m sitting in a parked car just down from the FDR memorial trying to bang this out and still get home in time for dinner. In other words, if you want to skip this one, be my guest. 

I’m really digging the Sam Bankman-Fried cock-up. Just so you know, I will not be calling him “SBF,” a pretense so douchey, it should be in an ad by Massengill featuring a mom and daughter having a heart-to-heart on a sailboat. 

John Ray, the new caretaker CEO of FTX, Bankman-Fried’s crypto company,  told the U.S. Bankruptcy Court:

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  1. Avatar photo
    Jen

    Noah Rothman is spot on. To this day I think one of the reasons Sarah Palin became so popular within the GOP base was because she was a ‘hot’ woman who liked manly things like hockey, hunting, guns etc. I’m sure that’s why some guys are fawning all over Tulsi Gabbard. Something else Noah said that is spot on: Republicans need to stop being such cheap dates.

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  2. Randall Briggs

    Nice allusion to Damon Runyan!

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  3. Javier Seravalli

    I think that part of the issue with the right and minorities is that after 2012 they did realize that without a Bush on the ticket the GOP could become a minority party. Nothing is more helpful to FOX and the GOP establishment than a minority celebrity that used to be a Democrat, like Ye West, Tulsi Gabbard and Dr. Oz. The have more value than trad conservatives like Sowell or Thomas, even though we know the opposite is the truth.

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    1. Javier Seravalli

      But I find the analogy with billionaires that are liberal or lefty pretty appealing too.

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  4. Craigowen1112

    "bold new front ear. (Work with me, people.) "
    It was worth the read just for that.

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  5. Ben.Bobbitt

    SDCS must not be interrupted. Execute protocol Bravo 7. The chair is against the wall.

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  6. Sheryl Phillips

    This article is great from the FTX debacle ( "no accounting department" & outside auditor described as a "first-ever CPA firm to officially open its Metaverse headquarters in the metaverse platform Decentraland") to the discussion on covetousness (dialog between Lector & Starling in "Silence of the Lambs"), and (sadly) the political filter for interpreting identity or tokenism. All in all, pretty good product from your car.

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  7. JohnM.

    What the FTX?! Thanks as always, Jonah.

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  8. Donald E. L. Johnson, Florida

    CNBC has been touting bitcoin and crypto dealers and miners for years. They do that because their audience wants the coverage, not because cryptos are good investments or trading vehicles like Apple stock is or was.

    Since FTX imploded, CNBC has been doing an ok job of covering the story. But it still puts crypto touts on to promise that in the long term, crypto will be like Tesla stock.

    It has been obvious since bitcoin, block chain and other crypto trading vehicles hit the markets that there is no there there. Sophisticated commodities and bond trades played the crypto markets' momentum and quickly bailed when the whales started taking profits on bitcoin or sold to raise money to buy media companies and answer margin calls.

    What we are seeing are a classic pump and dump scheme, bubble markets and greedy, inexperienced kids trying to get rich fast. Some did and sold in time to stay rich. Most are poor again. Of the poor, many have paid their tuition to the markets and will live to trade another day more profitably.

    I think it's too early to say that there was a lot of fraud, but it's not too early to suspect that there was.

    We've known for a long time that incompetence sinks a lot of S & Ls, banks, Bear Stearns and other over hyped and over traded stocks, commodities and cryptos.

    These lessons have been learned over and over for centuries. They're being learned again.

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  9. Mary Stine

    I confess to not understanding why Republicans, whose primary appeal was that they were the stable, responsible adults in the room, want so badly to be seen as Hollywood glamour types?? What sane person wants leadership or advice from Hollywood attention seekers?? Most of the ones always in the news can't hold a relationship or a bank account together for longer than 10 minutes, have no other skills beyond being photogenic, and are too self serving to actually BE of service to the public. Having said that, there are some who are totally devoted and serious about real philanthropy and actually work hard at aiding people and animals in dire straits. But most of those are not constantly in the news for bad behavior.
    The only explanation I've stumbled on is the one from the musical "Carousel" where the love stricken carney barker's buddy recalls his mama telling him that "good boys ain't no fun!"

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    1. Pohl

      Here’s one of my favorite Carousel clips you didn’t ask for but moved me to share:
      https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=xXXNQqKP-zk

      Enjoy.

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  10. Jean-Christophe Jouffrey

    Dear Jonah Goldberg,

    "In other words, if you want to skip this one, be my guest. "

    Well, if you insist... 😴

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    1. JohnM.

      Clever.

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