I’m a 53-year-old man, living in a small village and caring for my elderly father. I’ve always had a high sex drive, but my last long-term relationship ended four years ago and, although I’ve tried online dating, it’s not easy to fit around my daily obligations. I recently discovered cam-to-cam chatrooms – where you can have video calls with other anonymous users. The vast majority of people on the site are masturbating men, and there is no way of choosing in advance who you see. Either party can close the connection with the press of a button and someone new appears until you find a mutual interest.
I was initially searching for women of a similar age to me who were interested in some mutual chat and sex games, but there were few online. To my surprise, as a grey-haired and overweight “old” man, I discovered plenty of women in their early 20s who enjoy masturbating for older men. Each encounter is different and the women are all shapes, sizes and nationalities. I’ve had many mutually satisfying masturbatory experiences, with each telling the other what they do and don’t like. There’s the threat of disconnection should either get bored; usually without a goodbye.
Finding myself fetishised in this way is an interesting experience. Rather than feel objectified, I enjoy being desired, especially at my age. I’d still like a real relationship, but in the meantime the chats add a frisson of excitement. They feel like a meeting of equals, perhaps more so than in the dating world.
Each week, a reader tells us about their sex life. Want to share yours? Email sex@theguardian.com.
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