I added a small update to the Clarifications sticky and rules a few days ago, but it seems like a little more attention needs to be given to this topic.

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If a harem has members that are intimate with each other that is acceptable.

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If a harem has members that are not intimate with each other that is acceptable.

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If a harem has all members intimate with each other that is acceptable.

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If a harem has no members that are intimate with each other that is acceptable.

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Each of those can fit the various ideas of both male fantasy and the reality of group dynamics. There are going to be works posted here that fall under all four possibilities. The level of intimacy expressed can also change over time for the harem as a whole or individual members.

While all of that is acceptable and understandable, the increasing levels of vitriol in comments here is not. This is not directed at any particular preference as all preferences are equally valid. There is no wrong choice in how much the harem does or does not interact with each other. There is also no single correct choice either as it depends on the interests of the author and the characters.

Historical harems were often quite a bit more involved and complex than the kind of harem most haremlit novels are describing. Sometimes hundreds of women large with family members, maids, serving girls, one night stands, and others all kept separated from the rest of the community and guarded by an even larger number of eunuchs. Training, treachery, politicking, and many other types of interactions between the women in the harem were commonplace. Historical records may not detail intimacy among the women, but given history's preference to obscure many kinds of sexual expression this should not be surprising. (See the subreddit r/SapphoAndHerFriend for examples.) It is extremely likely that at least some intimacy occurred inside of harems and the "training" itself might have included some physical aspects as well.

While history's writings and reading between the lines may give differing impressions of historical harems what should be understood is that there is no one setting for everyone. Some people are completely straight, some are completely homosexual, and many are somewhere in between. A member of a harem might eagerly want to be with the other members or a specific member, might willingly or reluctantly go along with it, or not be interested at all. That is all acceptable behavior. Having the entire harem fall into any single one of those categories is less likely and seems to be where the conflict in comments will begin. Again, there is no right answer and the level of intimacy can vary based on the characters and author's preferences. A harem is not required to be completely straight or completely bisexual and there are more narrative options to be had in different, ahem, positions being taken by the harem members.

Requesting stories with specific allowed attributes among the harem members is not wrong and is a primary source of communication and recommendations within this community. Personal attacks on those posting them or those commenting in response to them are not allowed.