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What is happening to me?

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What is happening to me?

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More posts from the mentalhealth community
335

Why is it that i help my friends through their shit and when i finally need help they ignore it completely, blow it off, or half ass their help.

One of these days I'll pretend I was sleeping.

If they wont give 100% back im done.

When they freak out i give them a call and calm them down. Distract them. Why cant i have the same. All they do is give me a few messages with a few words.

They dont give advice, sympathy, their attention.

I just spent over 30 minutes putting a friend back together and not once have they called me when i couldn't handle something.

An old friend i started talking to again is the best i have.

They noticed the signs when others dont.

They made sure i was fine before leaving.

They didn't give up.

Why did you give up Jace? I wont be your therapist anymore Jace.

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112 comments
333

I don't know what you're going through, but I just want you to know that I'm so fucking happy you made it through the week. I'm rooting for all of my weekend working employees, and I'm giving high fives all around free of charge regardless, because each and every one of you deserve it.

In case no one told you today, I think all of you are pretty fucking awesome and I'm glad you woke up today. It's not easy I know.

If you're battling demons, struggling with detox/recovery, or you're simply in a dark place, just know this: milksteakenthusiast1 is fucking glad as shit that you woke up today because I know y'all are the most resilient people on this planet. If you need someone to talk to please DM me. I will lend an ear and a shoulder if you need it.


Stay safe, sane, and sound. Spread love and peanut butter (as long as you're not allergic)

333
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312

It's like asking someone with two broken legs to walk. Maybe if they really, really put their mind to it they might be able to stand for a moment, but it'll take everything they have, they'll inevitably fall before they can take any actual steps, and then the pain will be even worse than it was before

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269

When I said that im struggling with being productive and have a lot on plate and am super anxious about other stuff…she said you can sit and sort it out…well ya duh! She also reminds me how I am relatively privileged than a lot of people so I should just focus on the good things… Therapist is the only person I rant/vent/whine to….when she says grass is greener stuff I feel very unacknowledged…. 90% of her side of the conversation is ‘uh uh’ and ‘so what do you think about it?’ Etc…. I am driving the conversation ALWAYS.

It’s this how it’s is supposed to be?

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110 comments
259

I’ve realized that I’m not very good at making titles, so here’s a better one: “sympathetic” people piss me off.

This isn’t even a jab at people who are genuinely sympathetic, but people who seem (to me) fake or like it’s their duty to give at least five ‘live laugh live’-ish comments before their eggs boil too long.

Like when I make a post here or another support group about sewer side or smth and all the comments are “you are loved. You’re here for a reason and we’re all here for you” I can physically feel my asshole retract into my stomach. That honestly might make me go through with it more than if you called my mother a whore.

Especially when I make posts about stuff that has nothing to with anything like that, but I’d rather just “I need advice” and then the comments are just about how strong I am. Fist of all, you don’t know me, so you don’t know that. Second of all, 90% of them don’t even respond back if you engage with them after they say they’re there for you.

It makes me feel like I’m a stray dog on the side walk that people just pity. It makes me feel pathetic and less than the people commenting.

I just genuinely can’t stand it and I don’t know why. Maybe it’s just not my “love language” or whatever.

I prefer more empathetic responses like “I’m sorry you feel that way” or “I’m sorry that happened to you, that’s horrible”.

Like my psychologist is more like that. She is more like “I’m sorry that happened” or “that’s horrible” and all was good and we were chill, but THEN my psychiatrist comes in says shit like “I’m so proud of you” and “you impress me” and I just wanna choke on a Barbie doll. Like what do I say to that? “Thanks” makes me feel so awkward, like I should say something more.

My entire post can just be “I don’t like sympathetic and compassionate responses” spammed for miles, and the comments would still be “we’re here for you🥺” and that’s what makes those comments seem very insincere. Like you really want me to believe you support me and are here for me, when you can’t even bother to read my post or respect my feelings? No way brother.

Anyways, sorry for the language. It is a vent, so I’m just letting off steam. I just so happened to get really pissed off about comments like that today.

Side note: For the adults calling me names and being rude, I’m 16 (and even if I was a fully grown mother of five, it’s still not okay) so maybe don’t call me “snarky asshole” when you’re a whole ass adult who owns a lawn and shit. Don’t you have taxes to pay or something? Why’re you trying to play a game of ‘Playground Insults’ with a random girl on the internet, Earl? Even if you don’t agree with how I prefer to be spoken to, doesn’t mean I don’t have feelings. Be nice and respectful

Another side note: this is a VENT. Not a classroom. I didn’t ask for your advice on how to start liking empty compliments and sympathy from strangers, I’m good. I’ll manage, thanks. “tHeRe ArE bIgGeR iSsUeS oUt ThErE” wow, well ya don’t say, Sandra. It’s almost like sometimes people need to vent about random stuff that’s on their mind, so they can go on with their day. Huh, peculiar.

All the people who think they’re being really funny TrIgGeRiNg me and calling me names, it’s not the drag you think it is. It’s giving insecurity, and it’s getting embarrassing luv.

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215 comments
206

It's not that big of an achievement, I realize some of you are achieving way bigger things but I finally after more than 3 months of severe depression got myself to shave my body. I feel so proud of myself.

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53 comments
205

i hate the mental healthcare system. it is absolutely fucking useless. when i lose my best friend, it will be as a result of the negligent health care workers that denied them help when it was asked for. they did the part they needed to do, they reached out. thats what everyone always preaches "there is help out there it's okay to reach out." but when we do reach out, were told to go home. what is anyone supposed to do when they cant get the help they need i cant help them and now im going to lose them because of our useless healthcare system

fuck this

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103 comments
173

I'm like an egg. I'm fragile, but no matter how hard I'm squeezed, I won't break. Try to be eggs people 🦆

173
43 comments
168

Today has officially been 2 weeks since I consumed alcohol, the longest I've gone since as long as I can remember is like...11 days, looking at everything with sober eyes is pretty nice, even the bad things. Needed to share the news somewhere, love you guys

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21 comments
167

Sorry. I am new to this reddit. I came here to try to help one of my new friend suffering from childhood traumas.

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88 comments
164

I’ve been pretty much bed ridden for about 2-3 months. i have been living in the dark, sleeping all day, up all night, avoiding family meals, avoiding friends and pretty much avoiding everything.

i only felt comfortable in my bed, everytime that i left my room and the darkness, i would miss it so much and would almost felt an urge or desire to get back there by any means.

This week i’ve been waking up at 8-10 am, i’ve made pancakes ( getting pretty good at it too, i’m trying to make japanese soufflé pancakes tomorrow ), been having daily showers, walking my dogs and i’m socialising with my family once again.

Making the pancakes makes me so happy, it’s such a small thing but it brings me so much happiness.

i’ve also reconnected with some of my friends, i’m going to see my best friend of 15 years on tuesday, who i haven’t seen for around 6 months due to my depression.

I feel good for once. I can almost describe this as dominos. i took baby steps, started waking up earlier and that led to me socialising with family. which made me happy. then so on and so on now i’m actually cracking a smile.

I know improvement isn’t always linear, and i expect drawbacks, but if i can do it once, i can keep going and get better.

Just thought i’d share to let you know that it gets better. i love you all and i know it hurts right now, but take baby steps. I’m proud of you for trying.

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39 comments
162

You don’t have to reply with it, but just think of it. Keep fighting, you’re doing great. We’re glad you’re still here.

162
182 comments
136

Like sometimes I see movies or pictures of two people cuddling or wrapped around each other and it depresses me cause it's been so long since I've had that.

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31 comments
104

Why am I so afraid of people leaving me? Why do I always think people are gonna leave? I'm so scared of making new friends and being in a relationship because I don't want to get attached and I don't want to start loving someone. I hate feeling this way. A couple weeks ago a person confessed their feelings for me and wanted to start dating. I really like this person too but I got so scared that I rejected them and sometimes I wish I hadn't done that but it was for the best.

104
41 comments
106

When I was 7, I was molested by a 44 year old man. He had lured my friend and I into his house. We were naive due to the fact that we lived in a upper class, super safe neighborhood. He didn’t come off as creepy or suspicious but rather genuine. He also wasn’t a complete stranger. We had passed by his house before and he had always been super nice. There had even been a few instances where my parents would be with me and he would strike up a conversation with my dad.

He told us that my parents had been looking for us and that they were in his backyard. We followed him into the yard where he proceeded to introduce us to his dog. He told us that our parents must have gone inside so we followed him in.

Upon entering the house, I immediately sensed something was wrong. He led us into a room that connected directly to a bedroom and sat us both down on a small couch. He asked if we wanted anything to drink, an offer to which we both passed. He then asked if I would follow him into the next room. He told my friend that we would be right back. I won’t go into the full details, but he proceeded to rape me. It all happened rather quickly. He kept yelling out to my friend, telling her we were almost done. He never mentioned anything about my parents again and on the way out of the bedroom, he demanded that I not tell them or anyone else of being at his house. He had a large handgun and various knifes lying on the dresser towards the side of the bed and he eyed them multiple times while talking to me on the way out. It worked, as I never told anyone, even my friend, of what he did. When we returned to her, he said that we had just gotten off the phone with my mother and that we should return home.

A few months after my horrific run in with the monster, he lured another pair of girls, around the same age, into the same situation. As he was molesting the first girl, the other one managed to figure out what was going on. She snuck inside his room, grabbed his loaded handgun that was lying on the dresser, and fired the fatal shot at him.

It was later revealed that he had abused dozens of young girls before that brave girl wiped him off the face of the earth. I was one of those who came forward after the cops came to my parents with suspicion that I had been a victim. For whatever reason, he had written down the names of all the girls and the names of their parents. The list was found during the raid of his house.

The story never made major headlines because her parents wanted to keep her out of the public eye. The news made headlines around our local area, but the reason behind his death was never publicly announced and most had assumed he killed himself before authorities could reach him. The only reason my parents found out was because they were among the first to get a visit from the authorities just days after his death. They had not yet been asked by the girls parents to keep things discreet. My parents received a phone call a few days later begging them to cooperate and not tell anyone that didn’t already know about the events that led to his death. They were asked to not comment due to legal reasons when approached by anyone with curiosity on the topic.

I’m in my early 30’s now and still have ptsd from the incident, but knowing he no longer exists gives me a strong sense of peace. The parents of the hero girl certainly succeeded in protecting the privacy of their daughter. I never was able to track her down and up until a few weeks ago, I figured I’d never know her identity. A few months back, I made the decision to call my friend who had been with me the day I was abused. We unfortunately drifted apart over the years, but still kept up just a bit through social media. I think we both realized the unique bond we would always share because of the horror we experienced together. It had been years since we talked in person but I felt she was the only person that would make me feel better in a moment where I was feeling anxious and overwhelmed.

I first told her about my growth and how proud I was of myself for having the strength to finally discuss things in detail with her. I then told her about the few nasty and perverted replies I had gotten on a Reddit post I made which made me feel uneasy, but ultimately what made me delete the original post was guilt over telling a story which heavily involved both her and the girl who killed my abuser. I told her it wasn’t right for me to share a story like this with the world without both of their permission, even with it being anonymously. She responded so gracefully and told me that the story could change a life if the right person reads it. She encouraged me to re post but I told her I still wouldn’t feel comfortable doing so unless the other girl was informed of it. As it turns out, her parents knew who the girl was all along. My friend tracked down her Facebook account and suggested I send her a message.

It took a few days for me to find the courage, but I ended up sending her a long message about everything. I feared she would think I was a creep and would see me as a threat to out her identity. After a week or so without a reply, I sent another message apologizing to her for being invasive. I wrote that I wouldn’t bother her again and assumed that was the end of it. Last week, I was getting ready for bed when my phone got a notification saying she had replied. I opened it instantly and was amazed by what she wrote. I don’t want to share too much, but she gave her blessing for me to share the story again (with her name remaining anonymous of course). She told me that if I ever needed someone to talk to, she would be there for me. I thanked her for her actions that saved not only my life, but so many others that would have otherwise been affected in a horrible way. She was extremely humble, saying she was one of the lucky ones considering he never got to her. I can report that she is very happy, married to a very handsome man (she could be a model herself) and they have a beautiful family together. Hopefully I can get there soon!

106
10 comments
99

Like people love you and care about you. But if you were put in a room with 9 other people you’d be the last they’d even think too choose?

I know i have friends/family/a boyfriend that care about me deeply, but i really don’t think any of them would choose me. I don’t know why i think this and it’s quite a hard thing to over think about because it’s ALWAYS playing in my head.

When i come to think of it, no one has ever told me I’m ‘their favourite’ so maybe I’m just not and that’s how it’s meant to be?

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70

If have some kind of mental illness and you're comfortable talking about it, please write it down in the comments. It really helps me to learn a bit more about mental illnesses in general and see how does it look like from different perspectives. :)

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157 comments
50

My depression and borderline is kinda fuckin me in the ass, it would be really nice to not have to worry about weather or not I’m going to be homeless in the next month or having to work.

Instead I could just chill all the time, sitting peacefully in swamp water and only be thinkin about bugs and worms and maybe the weather.

Yeah, that would be nice…

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49
nsfw
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57

If you’re a parent who abuses your children, you are pathetic. Child abuse causes severe problems for the child, potentially causing the child to grow up with PTSD or other mental health issues caused by their childhood trauma. Nearly HALF of all people with depression report child abuse, and the number gets substantially higher with other mental disorders. For most mental health issues, which have a detrimental impact on the individual’s life, there is no cure. Why should abusers get to live their lives happily while victims suffer for the rest of their lives? It’s disgusting, and I think society needs to publicize the fact that a lot of us are suffering because of poor parenting. If people knew this, not as many people would label victims of suicide selfish and INSTEAD shift blame to the abusers who caused their mental illness.

I also hate how hardly anyone knows about borderline personality disorder (BPD) that is labeled the most painful psychological disorder there is which literally STEMS from child abuse. 1 in every 10 of them die by suicide because of adults who not only failed at being a parent, but managed to damage society’s most vulnerable people: children.

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48

Sending love to everyone who wants to do better but can't find the energy to make the necessary changes. Sending love to everyone who wonders if their exhaustion is permanent. Sending love to everyone who's tired of feeling stuck.

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41

I need to finish smth, but feel so burnt out. Have no one to talk to. Need a push.

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40

Bit of background I suffer from manic episodes and self sabotage. It's ruining my life. The only guy who was ever good to me and I fucked it w him over 1 argument the whole time we were together I loved him so much but of course my mental health got in the way. He was so kind and loving I look now and think why did I do that to him. We're still best mates but things aren't the same. He doesn't let me in anymore and I love him even now. I sabotaged my life. Maybe if I didn't do that to him none of the bad shit would've happened. Alot of bad shit happened like alot. I take drugs to drown everything out and go out parting all the time but it's all been bought to a standstill because of Christmas and now I've hit the slumps. I can't go out. I can't drink. I can't smoke weed. I can't do anything. It's just me and my thoughts and that scares me more than it should. I miss him. I just want him to hold me the way he used to. He ain't the same now all he does is go out do drugs and have sex. Where's that sweet boy I fell in love with and fucked up with? He's such a beautiful loving soul and now his soul is dying like my own but he won't let me in. So now I just watch my own life crash while watching his burn at the same time. Fuck this its late I need to take my meds and just go to sleep and stop thinking.

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38

I just want to come here and remind you all, December suicide rates increase over the Christmas holidays. You are doing great, you should be proud you’re still here and you should celebrate yourself.

I’m proud of you, I send my love to you and I care. Please reach out to your family, your friends and professionals if you need help. My messages are open if you would like to talk to a stranger, can be a diary if you don’t want me to respond.

Finally, don’t forget to check on your mates and send that message to those you haven’t spoken to for a while to tell them you miss them.

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The Mental Health subreddit is the central forum to discuss, vent, support and share information about mental health, illness and wellness. This sub is moderated by the South Asian Mental Health Alliance (SAMHAA), a non-profit society dedicated to mental health stigma reduction through skill development and community building. #BlackLivesMatter
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