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Erin’s speech about life/death
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Erin’s speech about life/death
This made me sob. Her speech was too thought-provoking, and it’s made me confortable about the idea of death. I, myself, am an atheist. I want to believe in God, that there is God, but I simply cannot. After the death of my sister, I’ve never been more forced to believe in a Higher Being. I said to myself that He is the only one I could trust for my sister’s soul. I don’t want to believe that there is no afterlife, that our existence ends upon our death. But I know the truth, at least how I perceive it. The bitter truth is that we disappear completely. Our consciousness fades and we’ll be nothing but a memory that will soon fade too. After hearing Erin’s monologue, I couldn’t help but think how everything is connected. Science, religion — it’s all the same. Same idea, different approaches. I dunno, Midnight Mass is something. Maybe I didn’t effectively articulate my thoughts here, but you know what I mean.
By the way, does anybody have a transcript of Erin’s speech?
EDIT: I typed the speech in the comments (to those who were looking for it). Btw, I made these edits to some stills from the show and added Erin’s monologue. Lmk what you think!
96% Upvoted
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Op · 26d
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3To those looking for Erin’s narrative, I typed it. This was longer than I thought 😅
Myself. My self. That’s the problem. That’s the whole problem with the whole thing. That word, “self.” Thats not the word. That’s not right, that isn’t…How did I forget that? When did I forget that? The body stops a cell at a time, but the brain keeps firing those neurons. Little lightning bolts, like fireworks inside and I thought I’d despair or feel afraid, but I don’t feel any of that. None of it. Because I’m too busy. I’m too busy in the moment. Remembering. Of course. I remember that every atom in my body was forged in a star. This matter, this body is mostly empty space after all, and solid matter? It’s just energy vibrating very slowly why there is no me. There never was. The electrons of my body mingle and dance with the electrons of the ground below me and the air I’m no longer breathing. And I remember there is no point where any of that ends and I begin. I remember I am energy. Not memory. Not self. My name, my personality, my choices, all came after me. I was before them and I will be after, and everything else is pictures, picked up along the way. Fleeting little dreamlets printed on the tissue of my dying brain. And I am the lightning that jumps between. I am the energy firing the neurons, and I’m returning. Just by remembering, I’m returning home. And it’s like a drop of water falling back into the ocean, of which it’s always been a part. All things… a part. You, me and my little girl, and my mother and my father, everyone’s who’s ever been, every plant, every animal, every atom, every start, every galaxy, all of it. More galaxies in the universe than grains of sand on the beach. And that’s what we’re talking about when we say “God.” The cosmos and its infinite dreams. We are the cosmos dreaming of itself. It’s simply a dream that I think is my life, every time. But I’ll forget this. I always do. I always forget my dreams. But now, in this split-second, in the moment I remember, the instant I remember, I comprehend everything at once. There is no time. There is no death. Life is a dream. It’s a wish. Made again and again and again and again and again and again and on into eternity. And I am all of it. I am everything. I am all. I am that I am.
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God damn, just reading that got the water works going again. There are SO many good lines.
I think my favorite is “ Fleeting little dreamlets printed on the tissue of my dying brain. And I am the lightning that jumps between.”
And now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go sob now.
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Just finished the last episode. That speech monologue moved me deeply. Thank you for sharing here!
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Thank you 🙏 this speech was the closest I’ve ever heard to what I feel in my spiritual journey
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Best speech I have ever seen in a movie (and I thought the Viola one on Shakespeare in Love was amazing for years!). This is so Buddhist, it is truly beautiful and comforting. Thank you for typing it out! 💐🌸
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You fantastical rockstar! Thank you SO much for typing this out. I wanted nothing more than to have it written as soon as I watched that ending and thought I was going to have to go back and type sentence by sentence myself. Thank you!!
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· 3d
Thank you SO much! I rewound it and watched it twice... bawling both times. This is an unbelievably moving speech.
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The best thing about this, the brilliance in how it is written... is that I think that it can be interpreted by people of any faith, or lack thereof to be something beautiful. As an Athiest, this is actually immensely comforting. I don't believe in heaven, or an afterlife... but, in a way.. there is an "afterlife" because the stuff that is me, the energy that drives my nervous system will always exist. Death isn't really an end.. it is a return to our natural state. I can't even really explain what I mean.. but this monologue was one of the most profound pieces of dialog I've ever heard.
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I've been having a lot of suicidal ideation and binge watching this show today helped me feel better. So beautifully constructed and executed from top to bottom. And I appreciated the monologues. Characterization is just as important as plot.
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I just finished watching 9 Perfect Strangers on Hulu, I can’t recommend it highly enough. I was in a bit of a dark place myself when I started it and wow if it’s not inspiring. (It’s a beautiful happy ending too). I love how art can do that, help us shift our perspectives and even feel hope 💜 I adored Midnight Mass, adore the monologues. I’m a Christian and it was just so moving, but also so respectful of every faith journey Muslim, atheist, moderate, etc. Have you seen the Haunting of Hill House and Haunting of Bly Manor? Hill house is one of my all time favorite shows as it relates to really teaching about the human condition, facing death, overcoming family dysfunction etc.
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I would also recommend Gaspar Noe's "Enter the Void". It's a long film and a bit too artsy for some people's taste (at least for those I've tried to show it to). But, it deals with the concepts of death and rebirth using concepts from the Tibetan Book of the Dead. It's a beautiful film and helped me out of a dark place recently after learning my dog has cancer.
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I particularly loved her dissection of the “self.” Something that I often think about is how death is only scary to our ego, the part of us that is unique in the universe, but that death isn’t an end so much as a return to wherever we were before life. I love the idea of reincarnation and recycled energy, and in my mind, a higher power gives us the gift of life in a constant cycle, where we are forever discovering life anew. I especially loved “I’ll forget this. I always do. I always forget my dreams.” I think about death a lot lmao
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I loved that part as well. This is such a wonderful representation of my thoughts. Thank you
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I really like the idea that god is literally the entire universe and that death isn’t about us. It made me feel a lot better about death and that we are all technically stardust returning to the universe where we’ve always been.
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We are all part of “God” or the universe or the life force or whatever you want to call it. I think if more humans felt this way and understand that when we die, that’s it for our part as we know it in living form, we would be a lot fucking better society and treat each other with way more respect/empathy/love then we do now. Unfortunately the concept of religion and life after death has made us the worst species in the world
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Op · 26d
very well-said. thats sad to think about though, how little we are in this vast cosmos
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Fellow atheist who wants to believe here: I think you'd really enjoy the book Contact by Carl Sagan for the same reason this work resonated with you.
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Maybe believing is just changing the definition of God. As in nature. Nature gives nature takes away Etc
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Since you are an atheist, I’m curious what you thought about Zach Gilford’s monologue about the dying process and what happens. I dated a neurosurgeon who identifies as an atheist and he basically has the same thoughts as Zach’s character. The chemical release in the brain, the energy being recycled (so to speak) and basically the circle of life.
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I really enjoyed his. I think once you die, you die. No afterlife, no knowledge that you are dead, just food for the worms really. I also really liked Erin's at the end in the same way I liked Nell's at the end of Haunting of Hill House. Much more peaceful. But Riley's was great.
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I was an atheist. I now identify as a humanist. I think we are connected in ways which are hard to define. But I believe in humans together. There is no big mystery, we are just highly organised balls of energy. It's a bit mad to think of it like that.
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As an atheist, my answer to what is death like is: What's it like when you go to lose consciousness and wake up later with no memory of even dreams. That's death. The cessation of consciousness. I'm not afraid of death. I experience death every night when I go to sleep. I'm afraid of the dying process, but that's natural. There are ways I'd like to go out, and there are ways of dying that horrify me. Choking is one in particular that I don't want to experience in my last moments.
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I sobbed while watching this scene. I have lost a lot of folks in the last few years, and these words just resonated with my soul. It was very cathartic.
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Her words were exactly how my brain and my experiences with Mushrooms, LSD and DMT have "taught me". I was sobbing. I have tried to explain to myself and other how my experiences were and her words were exactly how I would describe the feeling of knowing and remembering. Some I forgot but I kept some of the "message". It rewired my brain and I remembered I am this amazing being radiating with energy living this gift of human life. I'm not trying to glamorize drug use but it pulled me out of depression and I felt like maybe the writer has also had a similar experience.
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Her words were exactly how my brain and my experiences with Mushrooms, LSD and DMT have "taught me".
Yes, and that's what I was thinking as her monologue was being told. She's experiencing that DMT rush that Riley talked about.
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I loved it because it’s exactly how I explain death and I felt validated.
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· 7d · edited 7d
I’m so late to this subreddit, but Erin’s speech so perfectly expressed a belief I’ve been trying to articulate to myself since losing my mum a few years ago.
That dying frees us from the linear confines of time…and beyond those constructs we are either records that can be played over and over again, or we return to oneness with everything else in the universe.
It takes my breath away how comforting this speech was to me. I don’t believe in God, but God as the universe itself, with everything interconnected? This speaks to my soul. So glad you felt validated too.
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I was so moved by Erins monologue. I’ve never seen a writer convey my exact feelings and thoughts on what life is and what death is and what and who we really are as beings in this world and universe. Just amazed at how incredible this series was.
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Although i thought there were far too many speeches during the run, this one was important to me. It encapsulated pretty much all that I've thought my entire life. We are all one and connected with the Universe. We start as the Source and we return to the Source. I know we will all return and be together. We're collecting experiences on this planet.
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This speech was probably the most articulate and amazing thing I've seen that encompasses all of my beliefs. (I'm an agnostic pantheist)
Amazing stuff. Truly.
It brought me to tears.
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Quite possibly the most beautifully written monologue in a netflix series. It made me sob and centered me at the same time.
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15 years ago I consumed some Amanita muscaria mushroom (I was young and unwise). This experience was mind blowing (literally!) I never was able to describe or fully comprehend it. Like trying to remember a dream and forgetting it faster than you can put it in word.
This feeling that she describe, of being one with all, of remembering everything that ever was, knowing that all is good and that this life is only a small part of the incredible adventure that is existence. When I saw this scene I started weeping, by the end it was cathartic. It is the best representation I have ever seen of how I felt that day 15 years ago.
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Thank you for sharing, I’m so sorry for your loss. I’m really glad the show was moving for you ❤️ I’ve had an ectopic pregnancy and I really connected with Erins pregnancy and loss monologues.
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· 26d · edited 26d
I'm also an atheist and the only "godlike" text that has ever resonated with me is Conversations with God, book 1. When I listened to her monologue I thought, ha, someone's been reading Neale Donald Walsch. If you liked her ideas, check it out.
There's this thing, it's all/everything and without comparison it can't know itself so it is split into a trillion little pieces and that's us. Our only job is to experience and return. To remember is to re-member, to rejoin the All. And over and over forever.
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I believe that speech is somewhat true. I had out of body experiences in the past. We are more than our physical bodies. I think you would love an interview with “itzhak Bentov”. Search for it on YouTube. It’s long but watch it till the end. I think you’ll like it.
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Thanks for your efforts in transcribing the monologue. There were a couple of typos. Here is my edit:
Myself. My self. That’s the problem. That’s the whole problem with the whole thing. That word, “self.” That’s not the word. That’s not right, that isn’t… That isn’t. How did I forget that? When did I forget that? The body stops a cell at a time, but the brain keeps firing those neurons. Little lightning bolts, like fireworks inside and I thought I’d despair or feel afraid, but I don’t feel any of that. None of it. Because I’m too busy. I’m too busy in this moment. Remembering. Of course. I remember that every atom in my body was forged in a star. This matter, this body is mostly just empty space after all, and solid matter? It’s just energy vibrating very slowly and there is no me. There never was. The electrons of my body mingle and dance with the electrons of the ground below me and the air I’m no longer breathing. And I remember there is no point where any of that ends and I begin. I remember I am energy. Not memory. Not self. My name, my personality, my choices, all came after me. I was before them and I will be after, and everything else is pictures, picked up along the way. Fleeting little dreamlets printed on the tissue of my dying brain. And I am the lightning that jumps between. I am the energy firing the neurons, and I’m returning. Just by remembering, I’m returning home. And it’s like a drop of water falling back into the ocean, of which it’s always been a part. All things… a part. All of us . . . a part. You, me and my little girl, and my mother and my father, everyone’s who’s ever been, every plant, every animal, every atom, every star, every galaxy, all of it. More galaxies in the universe than grains of sand on the beach. And that’s what we’re talking about when we say “God.” The One. The cosmos and its infinite dreams. We are the cosmos dreaming of itself. It’s simply a dream that I think is my life, every time. But I’ll forget this. I always do. I always forget my dreams. But now, in this split-second, in the moment I remember, the instant I remember, I comprehend everything at once. There is no time. There is no death. Life is a dream. It’s a wish. Made again and again and again and again and again and again and on into eternity. And I am all of it. I am everything. I am all. I am that I am.
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Just watched this last night, I had to rewind and listen to it again. Thank you for posting this monologue...namaste.
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Thank you, thank you for taking the time to type these beautiful words . X
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I Googled and came upon this subreddit in the hopes that others found this monologue as powerful and moving as I did.
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I cried so much after hearing Erin's speech. I've had a similar conversation with my Granny a long time ago about what we thought would happen to us when we die, she said something very similar to what Erin said but in less detail. My dad also had the same thoughts as my granny about death, he passed away 11 years ago and hearing that speech made me miss him dearly.
I'm also interested in seeing the transcript for Erin's speech as I'd like to share it with people.
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Please be honest, have you finished highschool? I genuinely can’t fathom how such a generic and emotionally manipulative speech (listen to the fukin music lmao) would affect an adult.
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Op · 24d
um ok that’s just….. rude. Now you’re at it, I’d like to inform you that yes, I finished highschool, and now I’m in college (currently at my final year). However, your dissatisfaction against the show doesn’t give you the privilege to disrespect other people. Humans are diverse, eh? not all adults have a stone heart like you lol
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What the fuck dude? Are you actually that miserable that you need to mock a stranger on the Internet for making a post about something they liked in the relevant r/ ?
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· 9d · edited 9d
? I genuinely can’t fathom how such a generic and emotionally manipulative speech (listen to the fukin music lmao)
I'm surprised how many people were moved by that. I thought it was terrible. To me it was just recycled new age and buddhism-lite thought I've heard many times before. I'd rather see the idea demonstrated through actions or metaphor. It just becomes weak when a character turns it into a speech. And then to add the piano music in the background was just too much for me.
It doesn't make a lot of sense what she said either. How is it comforting to know your ego will die but the elements you are made of "live" on? What is ego anyhow? That's not life if all that remains are elements. Knowing we are made of stardust is truly remarkable but there is nothing comforting or moving to me about what she said. The closest I can get to comfort is knowing that if I had kids my DNA continues on through a self replicating process. In that sense part of me truly lives on.
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It was pretty good. Reminded me a lot of "One is All, and All is One" from Full metal alchemist.
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I really really like her final words on death. I'd like to have a copy of it. It was beautiful
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To me that speech is true at the Bedrock level. Very heartening as it appeals to my mind and heart.
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I really enjoyed erins speech. It made me tear up a bit. I really felt sadness and joy at the same time, it was a moment of wow this is it. Speaking about the energies and the universe and how we are one with everything. Beautiful speech.
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This is life, we don't exist alone. We exist to others. After life we are nothing. But remember how our small actions propagate through each other. We have an impact every moment of every day. Your name might not be remembered but we are all connected. I believe this is what religion is supposed to be teaching us.
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Grew up in a religious household, lost my religion and was atheist, then agnostic. Nowadays I tend to lean toward buddhist/Pantheist.
This spoke to me on a deep level - hell, even watching Carl Sagan's Cosmos I'll tear up listening to his views on being star stuff and being interconnect.
Things that I laughed at when I was younger now define me and make me feel a part of everything else.
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6 feet Under was the most emotional I’ve gotten during a tv finale…until this show
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Thank you so much for transcribing this. I'm a grown ass woman and this monologue hit be like a bag of bricks. I think I'm going through a spiritual awakening and when I heard her speech, I started sobbing. To hear what I've been feeling over the past year or so, and to hear someone describe what happens at the end the exact way as the way I believe... I'm crying now just thinking about it and reading from the comments that there are other people who feel the same way, it's emotional and I am happy and sad at the same time.
I'm happy because I feel a sense of peace. It's fleeting and it comes and goes, almost with every other inhale, but when I get that quick feeling, it makes everything feel worth it. I'm sad because I still have some doubt and that breaks my heart. I want to believe what I feel is valid and logical. But I have a cloud of doubt, lurking around the corner, telling me that I'm being silly—we just die and decompose, the light turns off, and we're done. I'm also sad because I feel like I can't articulate my belief to my family or anyone. I think they'd think I was crazy. And that makes me disappointed and sad with myself for not allowing me to be brave.
But now I'm a little less sad knowing that this all might just be true, knowing that other people—strangers—share the same thoughts as me. I'll end my own monologue ☺️ by saying, thank you.
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I am so happy there’s a subreddit dedicated to that speech. I’ve thought about this before and it seems to align with pretty much what every single person I’ve ever heard having an intense psychedelic trip have said. I don’t think anything has ever truly comforted me the way this did. I was bawling my eyes out.
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· 14d · edited 14d
Whether you are a Christian or Aetheist or whatever, here's the problem I have with your comment. IT'S A FAKE SHOW! Come on, if it were real, Erin would actually only believe in God more after seeing the vampire. I mean if something like a Vampire exists than that means there is supernatural forces at hand. So you had a catharsis from a show about vampire's? That is laughable. How bout read a Bible and take in how it relates to the REAL world. Then make your assumptions. Erin's reactions are unbelievable for the reasons I listed above. It is just Flanagan trying to make a heart felt, but unrealistic and depressing, connection between Erin and Riley at the end. In reality, she would be trying to connect with her baby, at the end, that she had been carrying for months and not a boy she had just rekindled with for a few weeks. If you want to make a movie where people are losing faith, don't include Vampires or other supernatural forces. THE SHOW CONTRADICTS ITSELF, in this way. Just my 2 cents.
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This has always been my interpretation of death. Death is just death, but that is heaven in its own right; a return to the singularity behind the illusionary duality we experience in this matrix. It’s like a refraction of the oneness that exists in the root of everything. Life is a daydream that consumes us in its vivid detail and imagery, only to be forgotten immediately when we finally reawaken. We are not our bodies or our minds or our soul, we are infinity and we are the space between; the beginning, the middle and the end. We submit ourselves to suffering, to duality because only then can we see the joy from a separate perspective. Life is beautiful and death will be too. In the grand scheme, a billion or even a trillion years is nothing. Just a blip, a God staring into space. Let’s enjoy it while we can.
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And the idea of heaven as a place we return to our loved ones is a metaphor of its own. Our relationships are purely a manifestation of the ego. In this body, we don’t want to forget the love we shared and the memories we had, but how wonderful will it be to not just be reunited with them, but to be entirely one with them again. That desire to reconnect is literally written in our dna. It’s why reproduction is the essence of life; we seek the path of least resistance- to be one again.
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I loved her monologue too and it reminded me of this eulogy of a physicist. Text and audio here:
https://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=4675953
Thank you for typing out Erin's speech.
It was really evocative.
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@emotioneil I lost a friend to drugs yesterday. This made me cry and smile and have faith Thank you for the transcript xoxo
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To add my thanks. And to say this is pretty much pure non-duality. I am that is the title of a famous advaita text. I feel sure Flanagan must be familiar. I was so excited when Erin said all this, it felt like coming home. A step change from her earlier Christian influenced exposition of death.
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I am simply as a loss for words.
Just watched the final episode, and having been reflecting really hard towards the finale on the positive and negative aspects of religion in our post-modern society.
This speech came so unexpected and blew me off the ground..
I too used psychedelic mushrooms to broaden my horizon initially, to ground myself and to connect myself with the earth. I listen to yogis and gurus, and have met the Dalai Lama and heard his wisdom. These experiences formed me as an adult free thinker.
Being an agnostic/Buddhism follower of sorts I try to practice spirituality every day.
Give yourself to others, help, love, learn and live everyday.
Having remembered Riley's explanation on death and relating to it deeply on a scientific level, it somehow leaves me with a fear of dying. A fear I often ponder and return to..
Erin's speech had me at tears, and for a long time. I am both sad and happy, blown away by the sheer beauty of that monologue.
Glad I found this reddit and seeing so many who feels what I feel and think what I think. We truly are connected in a deeper way.
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I have felt this way all my life. I have never been able to describe it as well. I always knew God was in us, part of us, all around us in everything. God is not some old bearded guy in the sky.
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I drop of water falling back into the ocean, of which it has always been a part of. I have felt like this my whole life
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· 9d
She's basically expressing Buddhist thought mixed with some scientific observation about us being made of elements generated by stars.
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I just came looking for the words, it's how I've tried to explain my views on death for years. I've always described myself as pagan. I believe in the energy of the earth, nature and the entire cosmos. We are our ancestors and our future legacies. We aren't watched by spirits of old or haunted, judged by a man in the sky, we are one. We are WE. We have power in that.
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Did anyone else ball their eyes out when watching this part!? I'm not religious. More spiritual than anything.. I hate when people ask me what I believe will happen when I die bc it always leaves me at a loss for words. But Erin's words resonated so deeply with me that I just lost it. It's like she was digging deep and pulling every word that I'd want to say. It was more beautiful and more comforting (for me anyways) than any angel filled, enternal heaven in the sky could be...
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Is this quote/poem exclusive to the writers of the show or is it written by someone else? Bits and pieces taken from other things? Some of it sounded familiar when I first heard it....
"We are the cosmos dreaming of itself."... This sounds an awful like Carl Segan.
Does anyone have any idea?
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My brother died two months ago, I’ve been so lost. I started bawling during her speech. It comforted me in a way I can’t describe. I’m so thankful I randomly decided to watch this…
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My dear friend just died of a heroin overdose. I was looking for this everywhere. Thank you.
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Welcome to the Midnight Mass subreddit, dedicated to the discussion of Mike Flanagan's (The Haunting of Hill House, The Haunting of Bly Manor) new series coming to Netflix September 24, 2021
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