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  36. Why does my mom hate me that much?
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  41. Profile photo for Gabriel Flood
  42. Gabriel Flood
  43. , My signature talent is reflex analysis of human behavior.
  44. Answered 4 years ago · Author has 108 answers and 2M answer views
  45. Originally Answered: Why does my mom hate me so much?
  46. In general, I have always found that abusive people hate themselves more than the target of their ire, but like cowards, fear the weight of facing that hatred directly and so deflect it onto another nearby. The reasons for this can be as varied and arcane as anything to do with a complex human psyche bearing history, but the advantage to recognizing this lies in the abused person’s repaired-and-regained freedom of choice to self-define, and ultimately realize that it is not their fault this is happening to them.
  47. When someone in a reality-defining position of power over someone else, such as a parent to a child, falls to indulging their own darkness in their ward’s direction, the child often automatically interprets this as an additional “truth” of how things really are; the child must be worthless, or deserving of it, or the cause of his/her own misfortune. Whatever reason a venomous power figure spits in order to justify their own weakness in failing to uphold the hefty responsibility of their position, the ward cannot long resist absorbing; it is the very rare child whose developing will can survive such storm-lashing damage-over-time long enough to self-actualize outside of the incoming abuse’s acrid atmosphere. This in turn scythes deep-running cracks and fissures within the ward’s psyche, which can (if unidentified, unaddressed, and left as fault lines under their own life structures) lead with direct causality to self-loathing and even an eventual cyclical replay of the same terrible behaviors with their own children a generation beyond.
  48. This must be avoided, and seeing the truth is the first step. In a perfect world, parents would do this hard work freely and of their own volition; in the imperfect one we’re cast into here, it often falls to the child to unravel the barbed-wire knots of it all for themselves.
  49. Your mother likely does not hate you; a child is an innocent, and embodies not the sins of his or her forebears. If your mother hurls abuse your way with a regularity that has no rational cause nor trigger in your own actions, shield your eyes and see her hate for what it is: an internal roiling storm, desperately fired outward in a bitter, honorless attempt to self-preserve.
  50. It is not of you, but from within her. It is not your fault, neighbor. This is an injustice being done to you.
  51. You therefore must endure, and the moment it becomes possible, endeavor immediately to remove yourself from the line of fire. Damaged people crudely redirecting their own inner demonfire seldom possess art enough to aim it deliberately with any accuracy; far more often it simply targets the nearest other person. The sooner you can make yourself not that person, the sooner you will be free to start getting better unencumbered. Until then, though, armor yourself, your emotions, and your vulnerable mental places, with plates and chain crafted from this truth of human psychology and nature I will again repeat:
  52. It is not your fault, neighbor. It is not of you. This is someone else’s hurt being inflicted upon you.
  53. Emotional child abuse is frighteningly, grievously common in modern society, and here’s the uncomfortable truth: it doesn’t actually require an evil person to occur, merely a damaged one. Children with otherwise every outwardly-visible reason to be grateful and happy growing up in a first world country, in a middle-class family with luxuries all around them and even provided to them deliberately, are still exactly as prone to being routinely verbally and emotionally abused by the very same caretakers who then turn around twice and hand them more luxuries in a whirlwind of guilt-confusion and clashing signals the child cannot help but wildly misunderstand. The cycle is not even necessarily one of malice, but lack of self-understanding; so many people who become parents take on that immense role of responsibility while still bearing the earth-hidden mines of undiagnosed and invisible damage all their own, and every time life triggers one the explosion is instinctively redirected outward instead…
  54. And a child suffers the blast, of a destructive force and complexity that the adult in the situation would hide from.
  55. This is not your fault, neighbor. It is not of you. This is fear living where honor should dwell, failing to shield you as a parent’s promise was intended.
  56. Keep your head up, neighbor, and ration your will for the long haul. You can break this cycle you’ve so unfairly been forced to become a warrior so young just to be able to survive… but it is going to require of you that which your mother has already rejected: the strength and the will to face the demons life has dealt you, instead of giving in to the instinct to hide from them and shunt the blasts wherever and whenever possible onto others. Train one part of yourself in the courage and capability to stand and defend the vulnerable rest from any and all unjust abuse.
  57. I am only ever a PM away, should you wish someone to talk to, neighbor.
  58. Take care.
  59. 17.6K views · View upvotes
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  61. Related Questions
  62. More Answers Below
  63. What are signs your mother doesn't love you?
  64. How do you cope when your mother doesn't love you?
  65. I think my mom hates me. How should I handle it?
  66. I was never loved by my mother. She didn't care about me. I really hate my mother and my family. I have neither freedom nor love and affection from them. What should I do?
  67. I’m 13 and my mom tells me she hates me a number of times. She has no problem with my little brother. Why me?
  68. Profile photo for Shar Ward
  69. Shar Ward
  70. , Love being a mom, devoted to being unlike my own mother.
  71. Answered 3 years ago · Author has 590 answers and 1.2M answer views
  72. Originally Answered: Why doesn't my mom love me?
  73. I’m so sorry you’re feeling this. If she truly doesn’t, it’s because she can’t love anyone. It’s natural for you, and anyone, to want to feel the love they think they should be able to feel from their own mother, and I know it’s so sad but some mothers don’t have the ability to nurture their children. It’s just something that’s missing in them and that would be ok except that it’s the children that hurt. But it doesn’t mean you’re not lovable or that you didn’t deserve to get all the love you could ever want. Society believes that the love a mother feels for their child is the deepest and most natural thing in the world. And when it happens it is. But the fact remains that it simply doesn’t always happen and when it doesn’t that isn’t natural. It isn’t normal, but it just is. Thing is….you have to believe that there’s nothing wrong with you. It’s not something you did or said. It’s not about you. I know that’s a weird thing to say when the pain you’re feeling is all about you but the problem does not lie with you. If she is ignoring you or mistreating you it’s because there’s something wrong with her, not with you. You have to find something you can love. Not someone but some thing. Something you love to do so much that when you’re doing it you don’t think about anything else, or anyone else. Something that’s good for you to be doing. Something that can distract you from the pain for at least as long as it takes for you to be able to handle what you’re going through and what you’re feeling rationally rather than emotionally. If you really believe that she doesn’t love you, you’ll eventually need to grieve for that love you thought you had and lost. And then after you grieve over it in your own way you’ll start to understand that she doesn’t love anyone and that she doesn’t even realize it. You’ll start to understand that there was never anything you could do to make things any different because how she feels about you is not something you control. What you do control is how you react to her/it. What you do in spite of it rather than because of it will be the key to whether you survive it and come out the other side a better person or a broken person. Love yourself. Love yourself enough for you and a mother. Rather than ask why doesn’t your mother love you, think about the people that do love you and think about why those people do love you. There’s not a good reason for your mother not to love you. There never has been and there never will be. No one here or anywhere is going to give you the answer that will make it all ok, because there isn’t one, because it’s not ok. You just be good to yourself. always. Best of everything. -S
  74. 12.2K views · View upvotes
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  80. Kitty Juniper
  81. , works at Mothers
  82. Answered 5 years ago · Author has 1.1K answers and 2.4M answer views
  83. Originally Answered: Why does my mother hate me so much?
  84. I've struggled with this one all my life too.
  85. In my case, as far as I can deduce, my mother grew up lonely, the only surviving child of a widow, envying larger families with a whole lot of kids playing together. Naturally she thought she wanted to have a large family and be the mum at home with all the kids.
  86. It wasn't until she was a mother at home with three small children that she realised this lifestyle wasn't making her happy. She wanted to be back in the adult world, studying and working, not trapped with the demands of a baby.
  87. Unfortunately, rather than realising that her self-knowledge had been at fault, she blamed the baby - me. I had failed to make her happy, therefore I was a bad baby. She claims that I rejected her when I was just twelve months old, but since she told me that I've had five babies of my own and watched a lot more. I can say with certainty that absent a major mental health disorder babies simply do not reject their mother. They can only mirror her rejection of them.
  88. From that point to when I eventually moved out of her home, my mother made my life hell. She abused me, and she failed to protect me from other abusers. She trained my older sisters to despise me. She blackened my name everywhere she could. She even tried exorcising me, when I screamed in terror and clung to the furniture rather than keep going to the school she had chosen for me. When the school told her I “had to learn to face up to my fears”, she never stopped to ask what was so fearful about the local primary school that a child would scream in terror at the thought. She just didn't care.
  89. As an independent young adult my mother was still trying to run my life for me, but when I became a mother myself things started to get worse again, and they've gone on getting worse ever since. I am the mother at home full time with a bunch of kids, and I love it. What she thought she wanted to be, and failed so dismally at, is the delight of my life.
  90. She's still doing everything she can think of to destroy that.
  91. Whatever stupid reason your mother has for hating you, be sure it is not your fault and you did not deserve this. In a conflict between a one year old baby and her thirty-one year old mother no sane person would blame the baby. At any age, where parent and child clash, it is the parent’s responsibility - we are so much older and more powerful than our children, how could the onus not be on the parent to manage and resolve these issues?
  92. Having identified the problem, your primary obligation now is to protect yourself and your children (current or future) from further harm. If you feel a cultural obligation to support her in her old age, you can send a fortnightly bank transfer from anywhere in the world.
  93. 14.8K views · View upvotes
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  95. Profile photo for Denise Williams
  96. Denise Williams
  97. , I was a child who grew up to be a mother.
  98. Answered 3 years ago · Author has 5.3K answers and 14.6M answer views
  99. Originally Answered: Why does your mom hate you?
  100. Such things never turn out well for anyone. Sadly, they do happen and are much too common.
  101. Some people feel challenged by their children in many different ways and for many different reasons. When people feel less, instead of rising up, mostly they attack. It’s a common human thing to do because people don’t realize when they seek to tear down someone else, they also destroy themselves.
  102. I’m going to use parent here as fathers do this too…
  103. When parents hate their children, sadly, their children will never be able to resolve this issue for that parent unless they decide to become less than their parent. Though some children choose to do this, they eventually realize they will never be ugly enough to make another beautiful, stupid enough to make another intelligent, boorish enough to make another graceful, poor enough to make another wealthy, fail enough to make another succeed, ect., ect., until they realize no lack they have will be enough to fill an envious person or parent’s coffers.
  104. When children realize this, they will set themselves free from that parent and begin to live a life of accomplishment rather than failure. When they do, that parent will violently resist as who are they without their child to blame for everything? How can they be successful if that child is?
  105. Such things are not a matter of actually hating the child, but the parent hating themselves when they see all they could have become through that child but did not and thus find themselves lacking in the presence of that child when they should be proudly humbled they brought up such a fine being. For what greater reward is there than for the child to exceed the parent?
  106. Then other parents have severely wronged the child in such away it would be considered abuse. Gawd forbid anyone every find out, so it is better to hate the child and make others hate that child too so no one will ever believe that child if the truth should ever be told.
  107. For whatever the reason, I pity parents who deny themselves and their children in the ways of hate. But it sadly common.
  108. 9.3K views · View upvotes
  109. Related Questions
  110. More Answers Below
  111. If a mother hates her daughter since birth, what could the reason be?
  112. What should I do if my mother hates me?
  113. My mother hates me. I'm sure of it. But she says she loves me (I think she feels guilty about the fact she hates me so she lies to herself), is there any psychological way to explain why this happens?
  114. Why does my mom hate me so much, and why do I hate her?
  115. Why do I feel like my mom hates me?
  116. Profile photo for Rathkeale T.
  117. Rathkeale T.
  118. , Canadian high school teacher, retired
  119. Answered 4 years ago · Author has 8.4K answers and 21.8M answer views
  120. Originally Answered: Why does my mom hate me so much?
  121. I believe you. Teens know when they have not been loved. I don't know why in your case, but I will offer possible reasons and a couple of solutions.
  122. She may not have wanted kids and became pregnant by accident.
  123. Her pregnancy may have been terrible and your mother wasn't mature enough to get past it.
  124. She may have been just too young and blamed her baby for trapping her.
  125. Perhaps she was raped and you are the product of that violence and humiliation.
  126. Perhaps she had no role models to learn from and didn't grow into parenthood the way she should.
  127. Perhaps your mother had so much conflict in her early life, including with her own mother, that the pattern of conflict simply continued.
  128. Perhaps you were a colicky baby and very hard to take care of, and she didn't grow past that.
  129. Perhaps she truly resented not having fun because she had a baby to take care of.
  130. Perhaps you had, and have, a better relationship with extended family than she does, and it makes her angry.
  131. Perhaps you have obvious skills and talents that simply never materialized in her.
  132. Perhaps, because of you, she married someone who wasn't right for her.
  133. Of course, none of that is your fault.
  134. But what can you do now? Cultivate the family feelings of affection and concern and support with relatives and cousins and grandparents. Divest (the opposite of invest) in your mother. Use that energy to seek and provide affection with friends and their families so you know how functional relationships should work. Keep busy outside of your home. Go to the homes of extended family and friends, go to the library, volunteer in a senior’s residence.
  135. Spend a lot less time in the same place as your mother. Don't say anything that you will regret and cause you to backtrack. Your mother is not going to contribute anything positive to your life right away if you feel she hates you.
  136. Turn away from all that and make good things happen elsewhere.
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  148. Peter Jay Brown
  149. , Director and Head Lecturer at Raising Amazing Kids (2017-present)
  150. Answered 3 years ago · Author has 106 answers and 104.7K answer views
  151. Originally Answered: Why does my mother despise me?
  152. All mother naturally love their children but over a period of time a number of factor can cause even a mother to have really negative feeling toward their child and act according to those feeling. Here is a few possible reasons . you probably will identify one or two right away.
  153.  
  154.     Strangely enough mother can be jealous of their daughter. Better looks,smarter and or anything that the mother sees in her eyes that her daughter is better. Jealousy is such a powerful emotion that “what doesn't makes sense is reasonable for someone jealous.
  155.     The inability of the parent to get the child to do what they want can enrage some people.this will take a very extended period to develop such strong feeling as despise.
  156.     The parent feels that their child didn’t turn out the way they dreamed they would. Some parents want to live out their own personal dream through their children.
  157.     The child has some behavioral issue that the parent was never trained to deal with and their failure bring them overwhelming pain so they transfer their pent up emotions toward the child.
  158.  
  159. 5. She is also probably using you as an opportunity to release and vent her frustration is her life.
  160. Here is a little tip.
  161. Don’t directly talk to her about this, rather write a small note and hide it under her pillow. and tell her in the note.I love you and I really understand your frustrations and don’t judge you for your actions but I want our relationship to grow and I just can’t bear the emotional pain it causes me. Little notes like this are very powerful because the receiver of a note will usually reread the note many time and it will allow her to struggle with her feelings first by herself , not in front of you.
  162. 8.8K views · View upvotes
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  164. Profile photo for Judeţ Mevertis
  165. Judeţ Mevertis
  166. , Was physically and sexually abused by my biological mother for 7 yrs of my life
  167. Answered 5 years ago · Author has 610 answers and 1.5M answer views
  168. Originally Answered: Why does my mother hate me so much?
  169. Ultimately there is no good explanation for a parent to treat her/his child in this way, but what I believe is important to realize is that you're under no obligation to try to impress her
  170. Whatever reason she treats you this way is because of her own shortcomings as a person, not because of anything you've done. And since her hatred of you comes from within herself, there's nothing you can do to fix the relationship. She is the one with the problem, and therefore if the relationship is to be mended, she is the one who would need to come to you for forgiveness
  171. I've been in a similar situation, trying to figure out what I could do to win over my mother's love, trying to figure out what I was doing wrong, everyone around me seemed to think she was a wonderful person so I figured it must be something about myself that provoked her to acting she way she did with me. But eventually I realized there was nothing I could do because the problem was not with me but was with her
  172. If she isn't willing to change her behavior and fix the relationship, the best thing you could do is to leave the house as soon as you can and to cut ties with her and your brother. Unfortunately, you might not ever know why your mother treats you this way. The only way you could know for sure is if you asked her, but I doubt she'd actually have an explanation herself
  173. I just hope you understand that she's the one with the problem. It sounds like a huge waste of effort on your part to try to understand her or to help her or to please her or to impress her. My assumption would be that she's just another compassionless person like my own mother, in which case it's not your responsibility to change her or analyze her
  174. I would recommend that instead you use your energy to do well in college so that eventually you can move out on your own, away from this toxic environment, and maybe in college you'll meet some friends who actually care about you and your well-being, and will give you the emotional support you need
  175. 11K views · View upvotes
  176. Profile photo for Maya Qandeel
  177. Maya Qandeel
  178. , Physician
  179. Updated 3 years ago · Author has 125 answers and 184.8K answer views
  180. Originally Answered: Why doesn't my mom love me?
  181. Don’t exhaust your efforts searching for the cause,some people are unable to love any one due to hard childhood environment.Try to study hard away from her. Go to a library or a church or any place where you can find good people to talk to. Try to find a good relative or teacher who can emotionally support you. You are not the only case, my mother loved her sons and hated her daughter, yet I struggled to be a doctor. Pray sincerely and ask God to support you. It’s impossible to force someone to love you. Try to avoid her toxic effects. Be a good person and remember to be a good parent.
  182. 2.7K views · View upvotes
  183. Profile photo for Elaina Smith
  184. Elaina Smith
  185. Answered 1 year ago
  186. im 13 and idk if my mom is emotionally abusive but she can some times physically abuse me and when i move out i want to get as far away as i can from her she will leave purple bruses on my arms and neck from grabbing me up or slamming me up to the wall or punching me in the leg for taking her Favourite kids leggings but other times she will call me a slut for wairing a croptop but my twin sister can wair a tube tops with booty shorts she will also make fun of how i look like if i have a small zit on my chin she’ll tell me how ugly it looks and how i cant let anyone see me if its on my face and it hurts bc of her i have anxiety attacks and panic attacks but worst of all when i say i love you to her she just looks at me like im nothing like im someting that she hates so much in the world and she dosnt say it back but what she does say is i dont care just leave already and shes starting to break my heart and im to young to know what that feels like
  187. 326 views · View upvotes
  188. Profile photo for Patrick Katz
  189. Patrick Katz
  190. , Writer at Freelancing
  191. Answered 3 years ago · Author has 627 answers and 270.5K answer views
  192. Originally Answered: Why does my mother hate me so much?
  193. Imagine yourself observing the following.
  194. A shattered window,
  195. A crying child with an injured wrist,
  196. A cow with a long tail.
  197. When you examine the window and the tail,
  198. You fully see them.
  199. But when you look at the wrist of the child,
  200. You don't see what's in front of you, but what's inside of you.
  201. You imagine your own injured wrist.
  202. But the tail off the cow, remains an object similar to the window,
  203. Why? Because you don't have a tail of your own, so your own reality doesn't hijack the experience.
  204. But whenever we observe human life, be it displayed behavior, the physical body, or whatever,
  205. We can only see ourselves.
  206. Because our body, is an extension of our brain, a manifestation of our consciousness, it's us in the deepest way.
  207. Our behavior is similarly our identity, combined with the consciousness it is fueled with.
  208. It's impossible to examine humanity without employing the experiences we possess from the only human we know,
  209. Ourselves.
  210. If we wouldn't be human ourselves,
  211. Whatever picture we would conclude when observing humans, would have contained zero info about actual humanity.
  212. (Just like if we would observe a human appearing robot, we would never get the mechanical electrical reality of the walking computer, because we aren't dead enough to fathom it).
  213. But because we are it,
  214. We know better.
  215. And because we are the knowledge source,
  216. There isn't any room for obtaining anything from a source that we aren't (the person we observe).
  217. So whatever the wounded child observation contains, over the shattered window or a cosmetically defective cow tail,
  218. Can only be ourselves.
  219. That's why your mother doesn't know you, because she had never even seen you.
  220. All she knows and sees, is herself.
  221. (And that includes all mothers and all humans, not just yours).
  222. That's why, it's wrong to harm others.
  223. Because you are essentially harming yourself psychologically.
  224. You are proclaiming your very own human value, through the manner in which you treat any human, the external reflective expression of your own internal humanity,
  225. The only human experience in existence to you.
  226. (Unless you know another human that is capable to smell a Rose on your behalf.
  227. But otherwise, the love or hate being supposedly received by you, or transmitted from you,
  228. Is always your very own experiences totally.
  229. When two lovers love, they merely share a description utilizing identical words to describe two totally unrelated experiences.
  230. And because we confuse description with reality,
  231. We confuse the seemingly shared description, with a seemingly shared reality.
  232. If you can feel someone else's love or hate,
  233. How come you can't tell which tooth hurts them without them telling you?
  234. After all you are both the very same experience.
  235. The very same feeling (according to your own claim).
  236. Whatever love our hate we experience in both directions (giving and receiving), is always self love or self hate.
  237. Btw, hate is love itself (the energy urging for love) but without the love capable of arising.
  238. So the question really is,
  239. Why does my mom hate herself so much?
  240. And the reason is, because she loves herself so much.
  241. but the energy comes up empty without penetrating the blanket of negativity covering up the flavor and aroma that love is (the flavor and aroma of life).
  242. So it behaves like hate.
  243. Inciting violence, rather than promoting peace.
  244. Demanding revenge, rather than rewarding.
  245. But there is more self hate than mom's.
  246. Your self hate.
  247. Not that you had a choice about it in the past.
  248. But the past doesn't justify future needless suffering.
  249. If one feels hated, they are hated.
  250. But by themselves, not an external hate.
  251. My mother, is the mother of all dysfunction.
  252. A wicked manipulator, mentally ill with more Mass than mount Everest multiplied by the Pacific ocean.
  253. But when I allowed myself to admit, that the hate I experience is mine,
  254. I was liberated from her vicious grip, and she no longer has power over me.
  255. No one ever had power over another, unless the victim perceives their own power (the self hate, for instance), as belonging to their aggressor.
  256. This way, the victim donates them its own power.
  257. You didn't produce your self hate,
  258. rather,
  259. The conditions that others have produced for you,
  260. Created the platform for inevitable self hate to arise.
  261. But those conditions are powerless in the presence of truth.
  262. And I'm attempting today, to present you with my best effort for that truth, for your consideration.
  263. With warm blessings.
  264. Brian.
  265. 6.4K views · View upvotes
  266. Profile photo for Anonymous
  267. Anonymous
  268. Answered 5 years ago
  269. Originally Answered: Why does my mom hate me?
  270. Well, Im not sure if she really hates me, but I do know for definite that she favours my brother over me. Whenever she asks him to do something for her she asks him so kindly and doesn't go barging into his door. But when she asks me to do something, she bangs on my door and yells at me, even if I'm right next to her. Ive asked her why she asks my brother so nicely but literally screams at me and she says its because I never do what I’m asked to do, or Im always upstairs from her. None of these are true, as I said, she yells at me even when Im right next to her, and I always do what she asks me to do, I even do more that she didn't ask for, just to make her and my family’s life easier. My brother always leaves his used dishes wherever he eats and I always take them to the kitchen and wash them for him, I pick up and hoover the crumbs and mess he leaves, I do his bed for him almost everyday, I wipe the bathroom floor, I cleaned the whole living room window which had fungus growing around it that my mom never bothered to clean. I keep my room looking pristine, and I try to help my mom out clean her room but whenever I mention it to her she yells at me. Her room is a mess, and she always procrastinates about tidying it later, and she never does. When friends come over, I’m always worried how they’ll react to how messy some of the rooms are that my mom won't or let anybody clean. I have some of my own ideas about why she favours my brother over me: years ago, I failed this one test that my brother succeeded in, and ever since then she's been rubbing it in my face, saying how clever her little boy is, and that he deserves a reward for his hard work. She always seems to put him as her priority instead of both of us. She has made me jealous of my brother. Ive only had one slip-up, and ever since then Ive been scoring 1st-2nd top in my grade/class in tests for nearly all subjects, and whenever I try telling her, all she says is: ok, good for you. Whenever my brother has any good grades, she jumps up and down and engulfs him in hugs and kisses, offers to buy him anything he wants. My mom isn't employed anymore, but she shows off about how clever she was in her school, being perfect in EVERY subject, which I'm show if I asked my grandmother, she would be saying the complete opposite. When I ask for help on my homework, she flips me off by saying that my homework is for kindergarten, and then isn't even able to answer it herself. She never says that she likes me brother more, but she shows it everyday. Its really upsetting because I have never really ever been favoured or loved significantly by anybody in my life, my teachers have always hated me, and I was never a bad kid. I try my hardest to keep my grades up, but I guess I’m not the lovable kind. I don't really mind that my mother likes my brother more, thats not the problem, its the state of mind I’m in right now that was caused by my mothers favouritism. I want to feel happy with myself that I try my hardest to make everyone happy by doing extra chores, but I feel stupid all the time and not good enough for anybody.
  271. 2.9K views · View upvotes
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  273. Profile photo for Lili Halwan
  274. Lili Halwan
  275. , I often wake up at 12.10 AM for no reason
  276. Answered 5 years ago
  277. Originally Answered: Why does my mother hate me so much?
  278. Ask her why.
  279. It happens to me too. She basically just hate me. She forced me to do things I hate. She use the funds my dad gave for me to pursue my big brother dream: run a retail store which only last less than 2 months. She treated me differently with him. Once I asked help, she refused to do that without reason.
  280. After years tried to accept it, I just couldn't you know. It was too obvious. Then one day I came to her and ask why.
  281. She said she loves me no matter what, but she treat me differently with my big brother because he was born prematurely and I was born normally. She said it's already good if my brother still alive. While I have to fight more than he did because I'm the normal one.
  282. It's fucked up I know. What the f she was thinking by saying that. I wasn't ask to born normally or somehow. I managed to live by my own in a such young age, compared to other people in my country. Then one day she called me and said she hated me because I left home JUST BECAUSE i couldn't stand to be treated that way.
  283. But you know what, I don't care. I love her no matter what. But I won't live with her nor anyone who treat me like a s h i t. Eventho she still couldn't accept my decision by moved out, we still talk almost every week like a normal mother—daughter.
  284. 3.2K views · View upvotes
  285. Profile photo for Nadine
  286. Nadine
  287. Answered 3 years ago
  288. Originally Answered: Why can't my mom love me?
  289. I have this same issue. It's hard not to take it personally but believe me when I say that it's not personal. Some people with mental illness (particularly a parent) might see something in you that they hate about themselves…certain traits that they may deem negative or that have caused them a lot of pain in their lives (Psychological projection). They may then try to on a subconscious level assign these traits to you to protect their own ego and avoid accepting that they also share these traits. It's akin to how a bully enjoys taking someone else down a notch in order to make themselves look and feel bigger and better.
  290. This has taken me many years to come to this realization. So instead of reacting from your emotions and how it causes you to feel you can also choose to recognize that feelings do not equal truths and choose the higher road of understanding that some people just aren't capable of loving but not because you're not lovable…but instead because they do not love themselves. In order to truly love another you must first be able to love yourself. I suggest seeking support from those who are capable of having a reciprocal and healthy supportive relationship. In the meantime try to understand that it has nothing to do with your worth or lack thereof. She is probably doing the best that she can. This is all easier said than done and takes a great deal of practice. I am still working on this myself. I wish you all of the best.
  291. 1.3K views · View upvotes
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  293. Profile photo for Morva Ory
  294. Morva Ory
  295. , lives in New Orleans (1942-present)
  296. Answered 3 years ago · Author has 6.4K answers and 2.7M answer views
  297. Originally Answered: Why does my mom hate me so much?
  298. If you’re a teen, this is part of the maturation process.
  299. It’s likely that your mother loves you very much, but is not able to convey this in ordinary conversation. Teen-parent communication is often difficult. Parents worry about kids’ futures and may harp on the negatives instead of praising the positives.
  300. If you’re an adult, it’s time for a face-to-face conversation with your mother. Tell her why you believe she hates you and listen carefully to her responses. Try to reach a compromise with her. It’ll be difficult for both of you to change your perspectives, and it’ll take a lot of work, but you can reach peace between you.
  301. You may want to have an older sibling intercede for you with your mom if you have one you trust. Or, if your dad’s around, you may ask him.
  302. In any case, you should talk with someone disinterested that you respect and trust, such as a teacher, minister, therapist, or social worker, and get feedback from them about the situation. Sometimes a disinterested party will undertstand the problems better than you can because of a different viewpoint.
  303. If you still can’t reach a compromise, it may be time to limit your interactions with her. You can set intervals between contact by phone and/or in person. Continuing to work toward reconciliation is important, unless it is absolutely impossible to reach common ground.
  304. Don’t cut yourself off from the rest of the family, especially on holidays unless it’s too painful.
  305. Families aren’t always comprised of blood relatives. As we grow, we develop a family of friends and relativesn from whom you can get love and support.
  306. 3.5K views · View upvotes
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  308. Profile photo for Klemon Prodigal
  309. Klemon Prodigal
  310. , former CFO at CNBC Fast Money (2014-2018)
  311. Updated 2 years ago
  312. Originally Answered: Why does my mother hate me so much?
  313. well, the title attracted me in here. I am a victim of my mother's sick behaviour. My mother herself is a victim of Ego. She hurted me many times,so much ,that once I was about to commit suicide under train. She is my biological mother. She Never feels sorry for hurting me. She hurts my elder brother too. She has a shrewish nature. She tortured my dad with her bitter talks. Recently,even after my one sided love towards her, I broke all relations with her. Even though ,this is not a good solution, I think I m feeling much relieved.
  314. But this answer is NOT right for 99.999% of mother son/daughter relations. Bcos 99.999% mothers have strong bonds of affection towards their offsprings. Mothers like that of mine are rare examples of unbearable personality defect. This answer is for such mothers and sons/daughters.
  315. I am jealous of those sons and daughters ,who got mother's love.
  316. 976 views · View upvotes
  317. Profile photo for Wayne Parr
  318. Wayne Parr
  319. , lived in Land of Maple Syrup, Maple Trees and Back Bacon Eh
  320. Answered 4 years ago · Author has 2.4K answers and 1.8M answer views
  321. Originally Answered: Why does my mom not like me?
  322. Now don’t go and do something rash. If your mother truly doesn’t like you, doing harm to yourself isn’t going to change anything.
  323. You need to take a good look at your own values. Don’t rely on anyone else’s opinion of your value.
  324. The question is? Do you like you? Do you like the person you are? What things are you good at? School? Do you have friends? What do you like to do?
  325. I might suggest your mother ‘might’ have a personality disorder. It is possible. In that case, it is your mother who has the issue, not you. You would be a victim of a disorder along with her.
  326. Your mother might be in a situation ( emotional, financial, mental, spiritual) that is out of her control.
  327. The first person you need to protect and to help is you. You can do it. Your strong enough to come on here and share, you can make you the best you ever.
  328. 2.1K views · View upvotes
  329. Profile photo for Jules Murry
  330. Jules Murry
  331. , studied at University of North Carolina at Greensboro
  332. Answered 1 year ago · Author has 105 answers and 19.9K answer views
  333. Because she’s hates herself and see’s herself in you OR she’s jealous of your attributes and the life you have ahead of you. Don’t waste anytime trying to make her love you or fixing the relationship. Go to school or get a job and make something of yourself and your future. It’s her loss.
  334. 96 views · View upvotes
  335. Profile photo for Annie Mimi Hall
  336. Annie Mimi Hall
  337. , Guitar Teacher at Skype for Business (2013-present)
  338. Answered 3 years ago · Author has 194 answers and 270.1K answer views
  339. Originally Answered: Why doesn't my mom love me?
  340. I am so sorry. Some people are incapable of love.
  341. It is not that you are undeserving of her love ans approval.
  342. Some of the kinds of people who are incapable of love are people with personality disorders.
  343. You can do some research about narcissistic mothers, daughters /sons of narcissistic mothers.
  344. There are some youtube videos about this on my channel Annie Mimi Hall , and also some other very good youtube channels , like Growth After Abuse channel, and Spartan Life Coach Channel and Sam Vaknin youtube channel.
  345. You can read Sam Vaknin's book entitled, Malignant Self Love , Narcissism Revisited.
  346. And there are good books about how narcissists think and feel, by H.G.Tudor.
  347. You can find them on amazon.com.
  348. 1.6K views · View upvotes
  349. Profile photo for Annette Blankenship
  350. Annette Blankenship
  351. , works at Customer Service Specialist
  352. Answered 2 years ago · Author has 4K answers and 4.4M answer views
  353. Originally Answered: Why would your mother despise you?
  354. If your mother really despises “you”; then the problem would lie with her—something or someone has warped or stunted her ability to love. In many cases, a person’s mother may not despise of her child, but may be filled with loathing and horror at something that child has done.
  355. 417 views · View upvotes
  356. Profile photo for Alice Vits
  357. Alice Vits
  358. , PPD survivor, a mother of two
  359. Answered 6 years ago · Author has 15.7K answers and 55.7M answer views
  360. Something tells me that you're simply in a rough patch with her and you refer to it as "hate" just because you're so emotional about it.
  361. However, if it is hate, then she doesn't hate you, most likely. She hates the failure she's produced when she had this perfect image of a child she'd raise according to some weird and unrealistic standards of hers that would make the world go green with envy at her achievement, and she failed to produce a miracle. So she looks at you and she sees not a person, but a painting that didn't quite come out the way she'd envisioned.
  362. Dammit, I suck at drawing, she tells herself and she hates herself for it and she hates the result of her efforts.
  363. Trust me, you have nothing to do with this. She's dealing with her own illusions and can't handle them. Leave her to it. Sympathize with her plight, if you can - perfectionists really suffer when they set perfect, unrealistic goals for themselves and then can't reach those.
  364. It does not mean that you're a failure. It simply means that the bar was set too impossibly high. So through "hate", your mother laments the difference between fantasy and reality.
  365. I was just like her but I went to therapy.
  366. 1.4K views · View upvotes
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  369. L. Littlewolf
  370. , former Scheduler/Patient Care at Quest Diagnostic Medical Group (2016-2017)
  371. Answered 2 years ago
  372. Originally Answered: Why does my mother hate me so much?
  373. A question that haunts me to this day. I am not young anymore. Only about 12 years back when my mother was still alive, I ask her at the table one day… “Mama, I’ve tried my whole life to get you to approve of me and love me the way you do the boys. What can’t I seem to do that?” She looked me straight in the eyes, and said, “ You can’t help it if you don’t love somebody.” You want to talk about your crushing heart and the world just ending? I looked at my daughter, and she looked at me…and everything just started spinning. As upset as I got with my children, I NEVER told them I didn’t love them, because I always did. I may not have liked what they did or said, but I have always and will always love them.
  374. 324 views · View upvotes
  375. Profile photo for Sakina Rehman
  376. Sakina Rehman
  377. Answered 1 year ago
  378. I am 20 years old, my mom is a teacher
  379. We live in my grandfather's house which is very big, my grandparents are no more, My mom gets tired from her school and household work though I try my best to help her but I can't do everything because I'm doing CA,and most of time I spend in studies btw I m the only child, I don't have any siblings Yeah you must be thinking how lucky I am? Yes I am, but not everytime.
  380. My mom is short temper, she always scolds me sometims for no reason at all, and sometimes on my silly mistakes, I know this sounds perfectly fine, but then she avoids me and ignore me, She don't talk to me for weeks, When I was 14 years old my mother stopped talking to me for 1 month, I don't even remember what was the matter, She sometimes mentally torture me, she spreads lies about me to our relatives that I don't help her in household work, reality is I always help her but I'm not perfect at my work, but she lies totally that I don't work at all, My mom always add lies to her statements,she do same thing with my dad too, I can't even reply her back because she gives me threats that she will end her life , I was only 14 when she actually closed the door and stood on table only to scare me so I don't repeat my mistakes, my childhood is filled with such incidents, right now I'm 20 and she is quite changed now, but sometimes when she loose her mind she behave exactly the same by ignoring me, not talking to me for weeks, (for example: when I enter in our hall she walks away) though her behaviour is changed now but still sometimes when she gets angry on me,all the childhood memories hit me back. I cry a lot but can't do anything about it.
  381. 416 views · View upvotes
  382. Profile photo for Christina F
  383. Christina F
  384. Answered 3 years ago
  385. Originally Answered: Why does my mom hate me so much when I am trying to be the perfect child?
  386. I feel the exact same way about my father and I've come to the conclusion that it's them with the problem and not us so ignore her and don't let her bring you downwards and don't let her get to you. There is never a reason act like that. Attempt to become the best at what you want to and never stop smiling because life is about enjoying it more than anything else
  387. 292 views · View upvotes
  388. Profile photo for Elizabeth Clamon
  389. Elizabeth Clamon
  390. , CEO/Naturopath at Clamon Natural Health (2008-present)
  391. Answered 3 years ago
  392. Originally Answered: Why does my mom hate me so much?
  393. I’m so sorry you feel your mother hates you. My mother hasn’t spoken to me in 15 years because I started speaking the truth and she didn’t like it. I felt for a long time that she hated me and wished I was never born, but now I realize she must have been very hurt earlier in her life and hurting people hurt people. It’s not that she doesn’t love you, it’s that she doesn’t love herself, therefore it’s impossible for her to love anyone else. It doesn’t have to do with you, it’s her problem with herself.
  394. It’s hard but you have to decide weather or not your going to let her be part of your life. If she can’t treat you decently you may have to speperate from her for a while, until she gets her issues straight. Just please remember the problem is her, NOT you.
  395. 721 views · View upvotes
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  397. Profile photo for Pádraic Breathnach
  398. Pádraic Breathnach
  399. , Parent
  400. Answered 4 years ago · Author has 2.4K answers and 1.5M answer views
  401. Originally Answered: Why does my mom not like me?
  402. It is very likely that she does love you but does not show it very well. However, there are some people that are just not cut out to be parents. Many people become parents just by accident and sometimes they resent their children for impinging upon their lives. I am not saying your mom is in that category as I do not know enough about your (or her) situation , so would not like to judge.
  403. But never think about killing yourself because you feel unloved. Even if you cannot stand the situation, it will end. And eventually you will find someone who appreciates you for what you are and all of what you are suffering now will not matter any more. All people have faults and your mom may have some that makes your life hard. But it is not your fault so don’t upset yourself. Everybody goes through bad times in their life and you seem to be having yours now - but never lose hope as things can, and generally will, get better.
  404. 1.7K views · View upvotes
  405. Profile photo for Sylvia Clare
  406. Sylvia Clare
  407. , Teacher/Author Emotional Literacy, Mindfulness, at ADHD and NPD (1985-present)
  408. Answered 3 years ago · Author has 1.9K answers and 991K answer views
  409. Originally Answered: Why doesn't my mom love me?
  410. are you sure she doesn’t? or is hat just your interpretation. MY mother did not love me either - she told me that when I was about 3 yrs old, then spent the rest of her life pretending she did love me and that I was such a difficult child. If she truly does not love you then she probably had NPD
  411. Travelling the Alphabet — M is for mother – Sylvia Clare – Medium
  412. 890 views · View upvotes
  413. Profile photo for Anonymous
  414. Anonymous
  415. Answered 3 years ago
  416. Originally Answered: Why does my mother hate me so much?
  417. I have to write this anonymously because of people who know me and might want to take advantage of my situation.
  418. First of all you are not alone; many people don’t get the love that they expect from their parents due to so many factors. One thing for sure is you will always find love from the least expected places. I will talk about my situation.
  419. My mother is my everything she has made me become who i am today, without her I would be nothing. She sacrificed most of her life so that she could give us the best of everything. I remember when I and my brother were still in primary school, a local school behind our home, every morning carrying a 5 liter plastic can to school, because we had to water the school grass and flowers...ooh those memories. We were in a small town somewhere in Africa, where I was born.
  420. My father had divorced with my mother, or at least that’s what we knew because they no longer lived together. We enjoyed our childhood and had almost everything we wanted at that time, including mountain bikes that no other kids had. My mother was a business woman and she would buy electronics and other things from the capital city and bring them to our small town and sold them at a profit to local shops, so she had access to most things that had still not come to town.
  421. Fast forward...one day the owner of the shop where my mother delivered her goods saw us gambling, I know what you’re thinking but no, not that kind of gambling, we had our own little game where we dug a whole, we would throw coins in it and what went in is what you won. I don’t really remember how it went but something like that. Anyway once my mother realized we had started this habits she straight away knew what would come next and so she took a big loan from the shop where she delivered her goods. The owner was a very close friend of hers and he trusted her.
  422. She took us to boarding school at a very young age, it was the hardest decision for her considering the school was in a different country, but it was one of the top performing private schools at that time so she knew we were in safe hands. We would only see her every 3 to 4 months during visiting days, let no one tell you otherwise but as soon as she visited us and left, we were already looking forward to the next visiting day.
  423. Anyways my other did everything she could to make sure we had a roof over our heads, food clothing and the best education she could afford, even though most of the time she couldn’t afford the school fees and we had to be sent home several times. So then we completed primary school, I got selected in one of the top government national schools, completed my high school and went to college. I got the chance to go to USA for college and my brother went to India. We have completed our college and now we are all working and taking care of our mother.
  424. So back to your question, did my mother love me? Absolutely, she loved us with all she had and sacrificed everything for us. I now take care of her, me and my brothers. My mother loves us too much to a point where she now can’t let go of us, she literally doesn’t want anyone else loving us or caring for us, it might sound crazy but trust me I understand exactly how she feels.
  425. The thing is, we are 3 brothers, we all love our mother dearly, but we are also men even though we deeply love and care for our mother, sometimes it's just hard to show it openly. Its different if we were females there are some things that we just can’t show affection for even though deep down our hearts we do, I did things like go to the market with her, take her shopping, play with her hair and so on, but still it would have been different if we were women.
  426. The other major thing is having a spouse, at first my mother really loved my girlfriend but not until she came to stay with us at home, my mother felt as if my girlfriend was being so extra showing affection to me but that was not the case she was being very respectful because I had also already warned her about respecting my mother and she was well aware of that. As days went by my mother kept seeing how serious we were and that soon were going to get married, that’s were it dawned on her that we will have to move out and go start our family.
  427. Even though my intention wasn’t to move out, I was very ok living with my mother and wife but as days went by there was too much tension between them and I figured the best thing is for them to be far from each other.
  428. That dint go very well either because she said all and every negative thing she could come up with, but I could understand where her frustration was coming from, I mean after all she had done for us then some woman just from nowhere comes and steals his beloved son??!! well yeah she had all reasons to hate my wife and even though she acts like she doesn’t love me anymore, deep down I know she does and even though it is tough to divide my love for the two women that I love dearly on this earth... I know and believe that paradise lies under the feet of our mothers and sure I will do all I can to get to that paradise.
  429. So just because your mother says or acts like she doesn’t love you no more, it doesn’t meant no one else will ever love you, love is a very special thing and you will be surprised where you find it and what people will do for love.
  430. 4.9K views · View upvotes
  431. Profile photo for Cris Good
  432. Cris Good
  433. , Visual Storyteller/Editor/Motion Graphics Artist at Independent Contractor (2012-present)
  434. Answered 3 years ago · Author has 710 answers and 2.9M answer views
  435. Originally Answered: Why does my mom hate me so much?
  436. Without knowing you or your mom and some backstory, this is an impossible question to answer.
  437. If you can reach out to someone you know and trust, or at least someone you trust, to talk about what’s going on with you and your mom, they may be able to give you some perspective on your situation and help you.
  438. I hope you reach out and get the support you need.
  439. 1K views · View upvotes
  440. Profile photo for Polina Wilkinson
  441. Polina Wilkinson
  442. , Life Coach / Vedic Astrologer / Yoga Teacher
  443. Answered 2 years ago
  444. Originally Answered: Why does my mother resent me?
  445. We can not do much about other people`s attitude towards us, but very often our closest people “ mirror” our own relationship to ourselves or to them. Ask yourself and even better write down on a piece of paper and be honest, what do you think about yourself and what are the feelings you have towards your mother?
  446. 120 views · View upvotes
  447. Profile photo for Grace-Lily
  448. Grace-Lily
  449. , Lifelong experience, learning, observation, common sense
  450. Answered 6 years ago · Author has 17.2K answers and 28.7M answer views
  451. Originally Answered: Why does my mom hate me that much? I don't get it
  452. Parents and children is an eternal battle. The parent dictates what the child does, the child thinks the parent hates them. It's just not so, they are likely trying to get you to listen, or be safe, or not do something that might be risky, or give your life some kind of order.
  453. You and 5 million other children today feel their parents hate them because they won't let them do what they want to do. Without details, there's no way to know if there is real hate there or you just being irritated because they are dictating what you need to do. I promise you, you'll live if that's the case - and your friends are going through it as well. And as near every grownup living has gone through.
  454. 1.4K views · View upvotes
  455. Profile photo for Gwen S
  456. Gwen S
  457. , Citizen from the back of beyond
  458. Answered 6 years ago · Author has 19.1K answers and 42.8M answer views
  459. Originally Answered: Why does my mom hate me that much? I don't get it
  460. Have you asked her? That could be very telling. Make sure you do it when she is calm and relaxed.
  461. Some parents are just like this. I know we've all been told that parents love their children. And most parents do. Your mom most probably loves you, but not in the way you need or want that love to be expressed.
  462. Has your mom, now or in the past
  463. *look after the house and meals?
  464. *pay for shit for you?
  465. *go to work to pay for the roof over your head?
  466. *make sure you get up on time?
  467. *make sure you are developing habits that will lead you to success in life?
  468. All these sorts of activities are part of love. While you may want the cookies after school, gentle talks about relationships with the opposite sex, tucking in at night and other sorts of traditional mom-love activities, maybe your mom isn't that person. Maybe she never was, she maybe could be in the future, when she sees you successfully living your life. When she doesn't feel she has to worry about you every minute of everyday.
  469. Parents are people, flawed, stressed and incomplete like every other person on Earth. Parents are not magically movie produced images that don't make mistakes.
  470. Try to have compassion and understanding for your parent. Accept who they are, as difficult at that may be.
  471. 1.5K views · View upvotes
  472. Profile photo for Dorothy Uhlman
  473. Dorothy Uhlman
  474. , Coached, interacted with clients to get them unstuck in relationships/career
  475. Answered 4 years ago · Author has 4.7K answers and 5.3M answer views
  476. Originally Answered: Why does my mom not like me?
  477. I would bet you money that your mom likes/loves you.
  478. She may not always understand you, but that’s a different thing altogether.
  479. I think she may understand your sister more than she understands you, but that doesn’t mean she loves your sister more than you, either.
  480. Are you able to talk to your mom? What happens when you’re all together?
  481. Has your relationship with your mom always been strained or no?
  482. Tell me when this started, please
  483. 431 views · View upvotes
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  485. Profile photo for Nikita Khakurdikar
  486. Nikita Khakurdikar
  487. , studied at Bachelor of Fine Arts Degrees
  488. Answered 4 years ago
  489. Originally Answered: Why does my mother hate me?
  490. I think maybe you should confront her and ask her properly..as to why she is doing is..tell her how to feel about her and tell her what your exactly going through..maybe she got hurt and didn't expect this from you..either way talk to her and try to resolve it..rather than avoiding it..or by being silent..
  491. 586 views · View upvotes
  492. Profile photo for Sonya Merle Hitchner
  493. Sonya Merle Hitchner
  494. , former Carer at Caring for the Elderly (2017-2019)
  495. Answered 2 years ago · Author has 4.4K answers and 783.1K answer views
  496. Originally Answered: Why does my mother hate me so much?
  497. Thank you for you question.
  498. Your mother doesn't hate you.
  499. It just appears that way.
  500. I had a mother who declared she hated me every day for no apparent reason. I was with her when she died. Her higher self did not hate me. Long story.
  501. If I had to do it all again, I would have acted towards her as if she did not hate me. I think she wanted me to do that, but she was so volatile that I rather avoided her.
  502. Years after my mother died my sisters told me that I was my mother's favourite child. They are convinced and nothing I tell them shakes this belief. We are all old women now.
  503. So, I had to look at it all again, from their perspective, as if they were right, and in doing so I realised that she probably did love me, but because she treated me so badly when I was quite little, I chose to believe she didn't love me and avoided her.
  504. We perceive with our senses. These are dodgy in trustworthiness. So I suggest you find in between moments to show your love for her. It's an experiment.
  505. I'm not sure it will work, but it is worth a shot.
  506. No matter how mean she is, just keep reinforcing your love for her. Love conquers all.
  507. My mother is gone. You still have yours. Try it. Give it some time, like years, because to undo the harm takes time.
  508. More than likely you are wrong. Your mother loves you. She may have trouble forgiving herself. Later. Then you have to help with that as well.
  509. Mothers have had childhoods and effects too. So do your best to figure out how to show her love. She won't believe you at first. So it takes time.
  510. I pray love and Light
  511. Best Blessings. Keep the faith.
  512. 1.2K views · View upvotes
  513. Profile photo for Kimberly Ann
  514. Kimberly Ann
  515. , former Stay at Home Mother and Wife, Currently Retired. at Me, Myself, and I
  516. Answered 3 years ago · Author has 102 answers and 31.6K answer views
  517. My mom was very jealous and cruel to me, at one point she even tried to kill us. Your situation may not be that extreme but if you feel that then you must first trust your feelings. There are many mothers out there who should not be mothers. You may one day need to estrange yourself to be safe. If you feel hate from your own mother then please talk with someone whom you trust. I would def ask a school counselor.
  518. 170 views · View upvotes
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  520. Profile photo for Anonymous
  521. Anonymous
  522. Answered 3 years ago
  523. Originally Answered: Why does my mom hate me?
  524. This morning we were talking about how my grandmother doesnt like it when people joke around or tease her even if its friendly. I said “yeah, I think its best not to do it so she won't get offended” and my mother yelled “stop telling me what to do!” Later today I went to her to say sorry and found out that she THOUGHT that I was COMMANDING her to stop talking about my grandmom which I wasn't. I told her that it wasn't what I meant and she didn't believe me
  525. She doesn't accept my apologies
  526. I was sexually assaulted and have been harassed before so when I opened up to her about it she said that it was my fault and stuff like that.
  527. She says how I'm a terrible daughter and a burden constantly and I have told her that it hurts it when she says that and she says its just a joke and disregards how it makes me feel
  528. She punishes and shames me for things that my siblings do but doesn't tell them anything. I was grounded and even thretened by my parents that they would send me away to my aunt because I had a boyfriend but when my brother watched porn or flirts with girls my parents say “boys will be boys”
  529. My sister is the favorite which I don't mind but I think it's unfair how she takes advantage of her privilege just to purposfully make me look bad.
  530. I don't go out to parties. I don't drink. I don't smoke. I don't do drugs. I have a decent job and pay for my stuff my self and help my parents out. I'm not saying that doing or not doing any of the above is bad but I don't think it's fair that I'm treated like I'm a bad person.
  531. I guess I just needed to vent about my situation but any advice on how to deal with my parents would come in handy
  532. 358 views · View upvotes
  533. · View shares
  534. Profile photo for Zay Ingram
  535. Zay Ingram
  536. , Blogger,Freelancing,Nursing,& Physcology study
  537. Answered 6 years ago
  538. Originally Answered: Why does my mom hate me that much? I don't get it
  539. You'll need to be more detailed in asking this question, as some people think their parents hate them because they get put on punishment or because they can't wear the short skirt so you'll have to say why you think your mother hates you and then someone may be able to give you some insight.
  540. 586 views · View upvotes
  541. · Answer requested by
  542. Kenny Ke
  543. Profile photo for Deborah Champeau
  544. Deborah Champeau
  545. , former Accounting Supervisor at Cornell Company (2007-2012)
  546. Answered 3 years ago · Author has 735 answers and 712.6K answer views
  547. I have asked myself this very same question. In fact i had to check and double check to make sure that i hadn't. But now that I am older and a bit wiser, i realize the fact that it is not me she despises but herself.
  548. I tried for many years to get the approval and love from a Narcissist parent. It is impossible.
  549. Instead of examing the cause in self, please consider the other person thoroughly. Hate is not the "norm" for human beings. Especially a parent. Be kind to yourself.
  550. 377 views · View upvotes
  551. Profile photo for Kelly S. Reed
  552. Kelly S. Reed
  553. , Love Life
  554. Answered 4 years ago
  555. Originally Answered: Why does my mom not like me?
  556. The best person to talk to about this can be found at
  557. 800-273-8255. They will have answers to your questions. Please call RIGHT NOW.
  558. 230 views · View upvotes
  559. Profile photo for NandKishor Bodhak
  560. NandKishor Bodhak
  561. , lives in Mumbai, Maharashtra, India
  562. Answered 4 years ago · Author has 1.5K answers and 1.2M answer views
  563. There may be two possibilities behind this.
  564. One, she may not getting what she has expected n expecting from you. Its may be a frustration of, the required-desired is not coming from you.
  565. Another possibility may be, in the process of raising you she might have notice that her kid is not that much tough as should be.
  566. She might have felt a need that her son should become a tough person. A person who can face n fight with this heartless brutal world and could survive in a better way.
  567. Being a mother she knows which dose her kid needs. Mothers knows everything, exactly what her kid needs. So she is trying to make you a tough. When you will step out of home in order to survive her dose of hate, hidden with love will give you the strength to survive in this heartless and unpredictable world.
  568. You know, when doctor injects, one needs to remain calm and relax, otherwise the injection will cause a pain. In the same manner just take these medicated doses of hate without any resistance, it will be definitely helpful for your future.
  569. Peace :)
  570. Thanks for A2A.
  571. 802 views · View upvotes
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  573. Lana Linsky
  574. Answered 3 years ago · Author has 157 answers and 57.8K answer views
  575. Originally Answered: Why does my mom hate me so much?
  576. Who knows, but you two might have very different priorities and she might not appreciate it or feel shamed about it. For example you want to become an artist, have piercings and different boyfriends every day, while she wants you to study hard and have a stabile job. Or anything like that where you two are on different page. I hope you find strength in yourself to lead life you want and see her perspective as well.
  577. 631 views · View upvotes
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  579. Luz Muniz
  580. Answered 3 years ago · Author has 53 answers and 26.6K answer views
  581. Originally Answered: Why does my mom hate me so much?
  582. No moms hate their chiren some moms might not know how to express thier love and others maybe just get remind of someone they hate as they look at you. If she does hate you then let it be she just lost someone who loved her . believe me i have gone through something like this
  583. 165 views · View upvotes
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  585. Adrian Bew
  586. , former Owner construction business, former tin miner ,
  587. Answered 3 years ago · Author has 6.6K answers and 3.4M answer views
  588. Originally Answered: Why does my mother hate me so much?
  589. A2a It could be for a number of reasons . Are you always playing up and being rebellious. If so she probably has every right to be. Or it could be you were an unwanted pregnancy. Either by chance or maybe forced on her. These things you don't know . And I doubt if she really hates you. Sometimes we say those things in times of stress or to get you to behave. If you do play her up don't. Parents have a lot to deal with as it is , as you one day will probably find out. They need your cooperation to make the family unit work . Be good to your mother they sacrifice far more than you ever know to bring you up.
  590. 537 views
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  592. John Tanner
  593. , Experienced in video gaming and computer usage.
  594. Answered 3 years ago · Author has 475 answers and 306.9K answer views
  595. Originally Answered: Why does my mom hate me so much? I have done nothing to her.
  596. You seem like you’ve probably asked yourself this same question and to the individuals that did this more than once and that this is something you’re commonly worried about.
  597. Someone hates you; you’ve done nothing wrong, what does that mean? This is problematic since it’s a bit telling of what you want to do, avoid hatred and being disliked. You probably try to get on everyone’s good side (be as likable to as many people as possible) if you’re ever finding yourself asking this question to yourself or others including those who’ve acted upon this hatred as explicitly as it takes for you to clue in.
  598. Some people won’t like you when they can tell this is why you act the way you do, but they won’t necessarily hate you. You probably haven’t done any thinking on this question when it popped up, maybe out of esteem issues but definitely out of a general confusion.
  599. Have some self-respect and think for yourself, this is as good of a time to start as any part of your teenage years.
  600. 500 views
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  602. Vicky Lind
  603. , Business Consultant
  604. Answered 3 years ago · Author has 1.4K answers and 1.3M answer views
  605. Originally Answered: Why does my mom hate me so much? I have done nothing to her.
  606. Some people are just plain crazy, some mothers. Perhaps you can build rapport with one of your grandmothers instead?
  607. Maybe your mom does not really hate you. Maybe she is stressed out by other things going on in her life, and has very little patience at this time?
  608. You may want to discuss this with your school nurse or counselor.
  609. 178 views
  610. Profile photo for Anonymous
  611. Anonymous
  612. Answered 3 years ago
  613. Originally Answered: Why doesn't my mom love me?
  614. I’m sure your mom loves you very much. Sometimes people get caught up in themselves because we are and can be selfish individuals it’s sort of mental and greed. I know from exsperience if the both of you don’t talk about it then your only going to hurt yourself if she makes a bad attempt to nourishing you then that’s a mental thing but you are apart of her and hopefully she will understand goodluck
  615. 636 views
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  617. Electra Gillett
  618. , BA Psychology & Humanity, University of the Sacred Heart (2004)
  619. Answered 3 years ago · Author has 513 answers and 781.8K answer views
  620. Originally Answered: Why doesn't my mom love me?
  621. Honestly that's a question that your mom could only answer. If you feel that way you should address it. Maybe your mom is not affectionate or doesn't say I love you often, and maybe that's why you feel that way. A mother's love is deep and unconditional. Never question it and if you have to the best way is to talk to her…
  622. 94 views · Answer requested by
  623. Jerrica Molinari
  624. Profile photo for Tony Guzman
  625. Tony Guzman
  626. , studied at Hollywood High School
  627. Answered 3 years ago · Author has 2.3K answers and 654.1K answer views
  628. Originally Answered: Why does my mother despise me?
  629. Hmmm who knows u remind her of your dad, are you trouble that could be another reason, of she's your step mom that's why, other than that people just take their frustrations out on the wrong people. Hopefully if her dislike of you doesn't go away u move out and if your in school just find your escape thru that
  630. 362 views
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  632. Charlie Yarwood
  633. , BA Religion, Philosophy, Ethics, University of London (2015)
  634. Answered 2 years ago
  635. Originally Answered: Why does my mother hate me so much?
  636. I think there is often a tension between mothers and children. Your mother will always want to see you as her child (not always the case, but most often) even as you are growing and gaining independence and finding your way in the world. My mother and I struggled with this a lot, and we still do when I come home to visit. She nags a lot and questions why I don’t do things the way she tells me to, and I get aggravated by it. I’m in my twenties, I live at the other end of the country and I look after myself pretty well, but she still wants to “correct” my behaviour when I am at home or wants me to live by the same rules I did when I was a child.
  637. Some of the ways she has done this in the past have been quite hurtful - she’s told me she doesn’t recognise me as her daughter and that my grandpa (who was around a lot when I was a child, but died when I was around 11) wouldn’t have recognised me either, and there were times where I believed that she disliked me, or possibly hated me, but just like everyone she’s flawed and she doesn’t handle her frustration well. There’s little I can do about it, but accept it, ignore it, or choose to cut myself off from my family. I got for a blend of the first two.
  638. 941 views · View upvotes
  639. Profile photo for Heather Swanson - Tassin
  640. Heather Swanson - Tassin
  641. , former Early Phase Clinical Research
  642. Answered 2 years ago
  643. Originally Answered: Why does my mother not love me?
  644. I’m filled with more questions than I am any answers. But regardless of the details of your relationship, it’s very important to your well being that you see yourself through your own loving eyes and not your mothers. Whatever is going on with your mother very likely has nothing to do with you. Your self worth needs to be based on your own intent and what you know in your heart. Love yourself. And love your mother, but without the expectation that she will love you back the way you need her to. She may not be able to, but again having nothing to do with you. Everyone is loveable!! I believe a compassionate therapist would help you work through all the wounds. I hope you find peace, love and wish you the very best!!!
  645. 425 views
  646. Profile photo for Rajyashree Tripathi
  647. Rajyashree Tripathi
  648. Answered 2 years ago · Author has 15.6K answers and 9.2M answer views
  649. Originally Answered: Why does my mom hate me so much that she hides it from me?
  650. So, Mom “hates you so much,” that she [tries to or] “hides it from you” BUT [you are so smart that] “you have discovered it”!!!
  651. WHAT IF YOU ARE WRONG???
  652. Many parents need to make unpopular decisions in the best interest of their children, Some discuss them others simply announce them to their children, who often interpret it as lack of love. And, lack of love translates into hatred. Not so.
  653. What if your Mom is over-worked, tired, feels under- or unappreciated? May be she is facing financial hardships or health concerns about herself or a family member?
  654. Give her the benefit of the doubt. Try to talk to her about how you feel. May be it is just in your head.
  655. 389 views · View upvotes
  656. Profile photo for Liam Martin
  657. Liam Martin
  658. , studied at Cimarron Middle School
  659. Answered 1 year ago
  660. Originally Answered: Why doesn't my mom like me?
  661. She loves you! She might just not know how to express her feelings towards you, I used to feel like my mom did not love me until I became depressed, I started cutting my arms and blamed it on my dog, one day she walked in on me while I was cutting, she screamed at me and sent me to live with my grandma, she did that because she was worried! Long story short your mom loves you and always will, why did she carry you for nine months!
  662. ( this was not meant to be offensive)
  663. 179 views
  664. Profile photo for Sandra Bose
  665. Sandra Bose
  666. , Senior Psychoanalyst at Private Practice of Psychotherapy (1998-present)
  667. Answered 1 year ago · Author has 6.9K answers and 974.5K answer views
  668. You need to understand that just because she gave birth to you, she is in NO obligation to like you.
  669. Your mother is just a woman that wanted to have sex. She just wanted to have intercourse but was not intelligent enough to take precautions and she end up pregnant.
  670. 99% of the people are born this way. Our parents just wanted to have a good time and enjoy sex. Accept this fact. This will help you to understand things the way they are.
  671. 99 views
  672. Profile photo for Seema Deshpande
  673. Seema Deshpande
  674. , Experience is taught me a lot about parenting.
  675. Answered 4 years ago · Author has 560 answers and 918.4K answer views
  676. Originally Answered: Why does my mother hate me?
  677. Strange and wiered. How can your mother hate you. Even if there is any dispute it's not at all long lasting. Is your behavior troubling her. Analyse yourself. You can talk to your father or sibling
  678. You may consider a counselor. Come what may, mother can't hate her kid. There must b some reason. Go n ask her. Might be she is facing some problem like menopause. Change your behavior. Listen to her. You cannot claim with one hand. Make her comfortable n talk to her. Don't create any stress between your relation. Mother n daughter's relationship is amazing. Don't loose it. Try to patch it up unless it's too late.
  679. 1.2K views · View upvotes
  680. Profile photo for Adam Lat
  681. Adam Lat
  682. , lives in The United Kingdom
  683. Answered 4 years ago · Author has 141 answers and 66.6K answer views
  684. Originally Answered: Why does my mom not like me?
  685. Confront her about it. Add a serious tone. Plan it for a while, then when you talk to her, choose your words carefully. Pick the right moment.
  686. The alternative is a bit extreme, but it worked with me. Do something incredibly bad to yourself. Bad enough for your mother to feel scared. If you don’t like either of these ideas, then I can’t come up with any more. I’m going to need some more information, such as how close you are to your sister in proportion to your sister and your mother. etc.
  687. 489 views · View upvotes
  688. Profile photo for Ren Williams
  689. Ren Williams
  690. Answered 3 years ago · Author has 101 answers and 63K answer views
  691. Originally Answered: Why doesn't my mother love me?
  692. I do not know your situation at all. I can only say that things will get better. Last month, I wouldn’t leave my room. I was so fucking angry. S fucking angry because I didn’t know why everyone hated me.
  693. Why my “best friends” would make jokes about murdering my family.
  694. Why my brothers constantly told me that I was stupid and and idiot.
  695. Why my mother told me that my feeling where not facts when I came out to her.
  696. I felt like my life was lost. Like I was over. I couldn’t leave my room without this terrible anger and loneliness following me.
  697. It sucked.
  698. So I just want you to know, that you will get better. Because it’s onky been a month, and yeah, I’m still lonely. But I’m happier. I’m happier because I occupied myself. I told myself things would get better, and they have. I had to realize that my mother didn’t hate me, she just didn’t understand what was going on with me. And she didn’t know how to fix me.
  699. So, I can guarantee that your mother loves you. To some degree. Even if she doesn’t pay any attention to you, or has actually told you that she hates you, she loves you. She loves you and she’s probably lost.
  700. So just hang in there. You will be ok.
  701. 1.3K views · View upvotes
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  703. Bob Burnette
  704. , Sales
  705. Answered 1 year ago · Author has 443 answers and 782.3K answer views
  706. Originally Answered: Why doesn't my mom like me?
  707. She likes you, she's just sick of your #@$%. Now this @#$% may not be anything you can do about, but maybe there is something you can do about it. Maybe you can improve yourself in some way.
  708. Ask her to sit by the lake with you.
  709. But maybe it is not you at all, she's just taking it out on you. Maybe she is not aware that she is giving off the vibe that she doesn't like you. She may be dealing with some bad adult stuff she doesn't want you to know.
  710. So ask her to have a talk with you. If you show her you are not afraid to know, she might tell you.
  711. 333 views · View shares
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  713. Nemana Ramesh
  714. , Digital Marketer and Branding ,Philosophy
  715. Answered 3 years ago
  716. Originally Answered: Why doesn't my mom love me?
  717. In this world if anyone would love you unconditionally then it will be your mother. Mothers love is unconditional in nature ,she just expect from their kids to be happy .Yes,sometimes she might be strict,rude, but end of the day she is your mother .Mother and your Father are the only ones who would think good about you and want to see you happy without demanding anything.
  718. You might have your own reason why you think your mother don’t love you,but trust me id something happens to you she would be the one who would be broke from inside .
  719. 1.2K views · View upvotes
  720. Related Answers
  721. Related Answer
  722. Profile photo for Anonymous
  723. Anonymous
  724. Answered 1 year ago
  725. What are signs your mother doesn't love you?
  726.  
  727.     When she disregards your feelings
  728.     When she belittles you and laughs you
  729.     When she physically abused you
  730.     When she tells you that you belong in foster care
  731.     When she never hugged you as a child
  732.     When she says I love you only to make herself feel better but just confuses your own brain because you know she doesn't
  733.     When you can tell she wishes you weren't born and she even says it
  734.     When you never grew up close to your mother and were always closer to someone else
  735.     When she always gets mad at you for no reason besides the fact that she was having a “bad" day
  736.     When she uses you for her own benefit and your loss
  737.     When she steals your money you earned yourself. For example: cutting the neighbors lawn as a child
  738.     When she complains about her problems to you but when you complain about your problems to her then she doesn't want to “hear" it
  739.     When she tells you are a loser or a failure
  740.     When all she does for you is the bear minimum to not land herself in jail.
  741.     When she laughs at you when you get hurt and cry
  742.     When you ask for help and she always denies, and you learn to never ask for help as an adult
  743.     When she constantly lies to you then justifies her lying afterwords.
  744.  
  745. 18. When she looks at you with disgust
  746. All these things I mentioned happened to me, from ages 0 - 18. If your mother has done most of these things listed, then it's proven that she doesn't care about you cannot care or about you because she doesn't have her own life together. I could probably add more later but that's all I could think of. I am 23 years old and born without a father. My mother currently does not speak with me and I currently have no family to speak to other than my grandfather.
  747. I wish to remain anonymous because I dearly love my mother, as she suffered a traumatic childhood herself. Which unfortunate screwed me over as as child. That's why I choose to never have children of my own. I have read every comment hear, but I think my answer is the real deal.
  748. 61.1K views · View upvotes
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  750. Related Answer
  751. Profile photo for Darlinqgabs
  752. Darlinqgabs
  753. Answered September 6, 2021
  754. I feel like my mom loves my sister more than me. How do I deal with that?
  755. I suffer from the same problem. I know my mom loves me, but she doesn’t like me as much as my sister. My sister used to give me two spiders in an apple Ipad box that she knew I was afraid of. Of course they were fake, but I was like 5 and she was 12. I would tell my mom, and she would be like “good one chrissy”. When I play a little joke on my little brother though I’m a “sneak”. Also whenever I try to ask my mom a question she doesn’t listen at all it takes me like 8 times to finally get her attention and I get responded with a nasty “what”. It’s not like shes doing anything either. My sister always interrupts me when I’m talking too. When I do it though by accident when I’ve been trying to talk, but no one listens. I’m rude and nasty.
  756. 2.2K views · View upvotes
  757. Related Answer
  758. Profile photo for Kim Seto
  759. Kim Seto
  760. Updated 3 years ago
  761. How do I forgive my mother for hurting me repeatedly, when she doesn't think it was wrong? I broke off contact, but I crave a relationship with her.
  762. Originally Answered: How do I forgive my mother for hurting me repeatedly, when she doesn't think it was wrong?
  763. I have a very toxic and negative mother but she just doesn’t know or think she is that bad. She’s done countless hurtful things to me.
  764. My mother is complicated. To be fair, she is kindhearted, which sounds a bit contradictory, however there is a disruptive side to her.
  765. Living with her was difficult, tiring and suffocating to say the least….. She was very negative and very condescending (still is). Things coming out of her mouth were just hurtful and very discouraging.
  766. I am not exaggerating. My mother is thoughtless and tactless. Your clothes looks bad on you, you have no sense of style; what awful haircut you got; so and so’s daughter is making 100K a year, why can’t I have a daughter that smart….all these negative comments CONSTANTLY comes out of her mouth.
  767. If I bring up something that she did to confront her she would become very defensive, angry and would start shouting. Then she would just deny everything.
  768. When I’d told her how unreasonable she was, she would turn around and accused me of being that.
  769. There were many, many, many times I was so upset and hurt that I just couldn’t do anything but just sat there, frustrated, wondering why my mother is like that.
  770. My mother ONLY thinks about her feelings. She can’t seem to understand that others have feelings too. It hurts when she puts me down and she is clueless about it.
  771. My mother always have to be right. She is never wrong. She seldom admits that she is wrong. She would never apologize and thinks she never needs to because she is my mother and mothers are ALWAYS right!
  772. She takes me for granted. If a relative does something for her, she would be so grateful and thankful. If I do something for her or whatever sacrifices I’ve made for her, that would be my duty because I am her daughter. I don’t expect a hundred thank yous from her, but she never appreciates or gives me credit when it’s due.
  773. My mother is impulsive and would start yelling when she is frustrated. She often yells even over small issues.
  774. The most sad part is no one knows about her gas lighting me, how condescending she is, her negativity, her tearing me down. She is very polite and courteous with others. Other people have no idea.
  775. She was never diagnosed by a mental health professional, but from my own research, I had concluded that she might be a sociopath. But later I found out that she fits more into the description of a narcissist (about 70%-75%) so now I believe she could possibly be a narcissist. She might also have border line personality disorder.
  776. I used to hope that my mother would change (there were better days, but also worst), but I have realized she will NEVER change because she is just not able to. And if she is really a narcissist, change is next to impossible.
  777. Cutting her out of my life would be most ideal but because I am a softhearted person I am not able to do that. But for my sanity, I have moved out since. From time to time I would stay with her but only for short periods at a time because I can only handle small doses of her before I go insane. I am very glad that I don’t live with her everyday now.
  778. So in conclusion, I choose to forgive her. Forgiveness can be difficult for some people but for me when I put the bad aside there is always some good I can dwell on so I CHOOSE to focus on the good. My mother is not a good mother, but she did raise me, gave me things, gave me clothes, food and a home. Choosing to focus on that made it easier for me to forgive her. And not living with her everyday also makes it a little easier to forgive…
  779. Just remember forgiving DOES NOT mean condoning a person’s bad behavior.
  780. When you forgive your mother you are not only doing it for her, but more for yourself. When you are able to forgive, you are letting go of the hurt and resentment and you will start to heal emotionally.
  781. Forgiveness has to come from the heart and can’t be forced. And it can’t come easy if you still harbor resentment in your heart. I hope you can start to forgive your mother soon if you haven’t already done so.
  782. I hope my answer can help you.
  783. Updated: April 3, 2018
  784. 39.4K views · View upvotes
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  786. Related Answer
  787. Profile photo for Anonymous
  788. Anonymous
  789. Answered 2 years ago
  790. Why does my mother hate me but love my brother?
  791. Originally Answered: Why does my mother hate me, but love my brother?
  792. My mother favored my brother and hated me. My brother grew up to be arrogant, selfish and mean. My mom developed a terminal illness and my brother was mean to her. I was the only one that would help her with everything. On her death bed, I apologized for my brother not being there. She said she preferred me in those final moments. Unfortunately my mom and dad left advanced directives that everything in their old age would be handled by my brother. I was a stay at home mom and after my mom’s death I wanted to take in my father who was very brain damaged by brain cancer. My brother wouldn’t let me. i lived in another state and could not even help out. so my father lived with my brother in a very abusive and neglectful situation, and shortly died from a skin infection from lying in his own filth. Their favoring of my brother really came back to bite them.
  793. I’m still messed up from my parents hitting me so much for my brother blaming all of his things on me. They called me every bad name in the book. They made it clear that I was a failure, and a waste of flesh, even though I worked very hard to try and earn their love and approval. I have complex PTSD. Going for mental help was a big mistake, because I married into an abusive situation, and was told that because I sought mental help I would never get custody of my children, who didn’t want to be left with their father. So I stayed with my husband and take abuse daily. I’m on a heavy medication (effexor) that make me unemotional and stops my panic attacks and flash backs. I live in a fantasy world on purpose to cope.
  794. If you have kids, it is important to watch examples of parents being kind and loving to their children. You might catch it when you’re out shopping. love your kids with everything you’ve got. Never say anything hurtful. Discipline them by saying no and giving practical explanations that are not hurtful. Blame the world for being a difficult place, not the kids for failing. Act silly, clumsy and foolish to show that you are only human, and build them up.
  795. 33.6K views · View upvotes
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  799. Seth Knight
  800. , I study psychology in my spare time
  801. Updated 3 years ago
  802. How do you cope when your mother doesn't love you?
  803. I would say that the answer depends on how old you are ( due to a mothers role in stages of psychological and neurological brain development), and it also assumes that your mother truly does not love you. The main coping mechanism, or way to rid yourself of this terrible fate, is to bear the suffering that reality has bestowed upon you, and rise above it. Mothers play critical and developmental roles in a child’s raising, and serious implications can come about when a mother does not show proper love and care to a child. This can result in a lack of empathy, compassion, and agreeableness, but I digress. You learn to cope by coming to the realization, which you seem to have already done, and move on. It will be tempting to go back to someone you know, but if she truly does not love you, you should waste no time on someone, family or not, who does not to reciprocate feelings of genuine care and love. For one reason or another, something has made itself apparent in your mother’s behavior or vocation that she does not love you, so don’t waste time on her. Life is somewhat short, so you ideally want to spend time on people who do love and vice versa instead of spending your precious time ( the one commodity that you can never get back) on someone who shows no care or effort. Find other people who do care about you, and stay loyal to them. Accept your fate,learn that your mothers opinion is just like that of anyone else’s, and willingly bear your suffering so that you can transcend your suffering and find value in those who do value you. If you do this, if you learn to not waste time or emotion on someone who doesn’t care about your well being, you will make more space go energy and time that you can spend on those that you do love.
  804. P.S- Remember, treat your mother with courtesy. You don’t have to respect her, just be courteous ( there’s a vast difference between treating someone with courtesy and respecting them). Also note that people can change, and if your mother wants to change for the better and show the love to her kid that they deserve, then give her a shot if she shows she genuinely wants to change. Best of luck to you :)
  805. -Seth
  806. 51.4K views · View upvotes
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  808. Erin Murphy
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  811. Paula Jsq Dixon
  812. Answered 2 years ago
  813. What happened after you realised that your own mother doesn't love you?
  814. My mother has been the type of person that chooses who she wants to help. She shows favoritism amongst me and my brother (which was always him), she only like 1 of his 4 daughters, and 1 of my two sons. She'll break her neck to see if my brother, 1 of his daughters and 1 of my sons are good, but it makes the rest of us feel shitty. That's not cool. She would rather put herself in debt for a stranger, than to help, or love her own blood. But then when it comes to her birthday, Mother's Day, Christmas ect. We must plan a Gala for her. Shit... She wasn't gotten me a birthday / Christmas present since I was 17…and I'm in my 40s. Her excuse was “you grown!”…you supposed to be happy about life, not presents!” But She expects “ALL” of us To roll out the red carpet for her. She expects all of us to give her money every time we see her, like a spoiled brat. But never can spot us any money or time when we need it. Mind you... The grandkids are mostly adults and they see and feel her favoritism. I was in between jobs at one point... And she worked for a temp agency, which placed her at a factory. I asked her to give me the info so I can work there until my other job came thru. She gave me the run around.. Wouldn't tell me the temp agency name, number... Now I was a waitress for 15 years and I know all about standing for long periods of time, shit I'm use to it. Did you know she told a family member that she, my own mother, didn't want me working there (the factory) because I wouldn't be able to stand on my feet. Total bullshit. She never helps anyone help themselves, but expect people to bend over backwards for her.,like I said earlier we're supposed to drop off money and gifts to her. Like she's the world best mother/grandmother. I'm glad me, my 3 nieces and one of my sons don't fall for her shit. As they feel the same way I do. It hurts me to feel this way about the woman who gave birth to me. I usually bite my tounge and give in and get her something anyway, cause I have a guilty conscience, but not this year… I. absolutely “did not” get her a damn thing for Mothers Day 2019, Hey your “Only” daughter is a mother too... Right? Where's my present? . She looked sad, and I did feel bad. But I can't keep letting her get away with this behaviour. Mother or not treat people the way you like to be treated.
  815. 8.9K views · View upvotes
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  818. Judy Ransom
  819. , B.A. Master's (almost) Elementary Ed., Marriage Famly & Child Counseling (1996)
  820. Answered 9 months ago · Author has 10.6K answers and 1.8M answer views
  821. I think my mom hates me. How should I handle it?
  822. Originally Answered: My mom said she hates me and that she doesn’t care about me anymore. What should I do?
  823. As quickly as possible, take yourself out of her presence and find those people, or that person, who DOES care about you. First recognize that YOU also care about YOU…….right? That’s where you begin. Find a way to be with people who do care about you and appreciate you and your struggles. Your mom is probably not going to be that person, since she has stated as much to your face. I must assume here that your mom is a deeply unhappy and miserable person, since mothers who are fairly happy do NOT speak to their children that way - even when they are angry or disappointed or frustrated. Seek out your grandparents, aunts and uncles, parents of friends, ANYONE who will give you a place to rest and consider your next movements. If there is a school counselor, go see that person. Eventually, you may be able to forgive your mother for what she has said, but you don't need to think bout that right now - you need to find a way of living with people who enjoy you and appreciate you and care for you. I don’t know where you will find them, but start your thinking in that direction as soon as you are able. Good luck, my friend!!
  824. 5.7K views · View upvotes
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  827. Alex Fisher
  828. , Have been in a few.
  829. Answered 4 years ago · Author has 175 answers and 387.9K answer views
  830. It feels like my mom emotionally doesn't care about me as much as she cares about my sister, and it makes me very sad. What can I do?
  831. I'm the oldest of three. When I was eighteen, my mom told me to move out. I did. I struggled for a few years, but eventually got on my feet. When my youngest brother was eighteen, she told him to move out as well. In-between, our middle brother went to college, and before graduating, asked his girlfriend to marry him. He was ready to start his adult life once he graduated.
  832. Now here’s the kooky thing . . . I went to visit my mom shortly after my brother announced his engagement. She walked me through the apartment, saying, “I can't believe your brother’s never going to live here again.” And then she started to cry. At the time I was shocked—not so much that she had different feelings for the two of us, but that she would profess them so openly!
  833. It took a few years to realize she was unaware of the irony. She believes she loved all her children equally, so it followed (illogically) that she was treating us all equally. In more recent years she has come to appreciate each of us as individuals, and she does everything she can to let us know she loves us. She has been able to help my youngest brother and myself financially, as we are not as successful as our middle brother. When she had surgery last year, we took turns caring for her.
  834. Your mother may be in a similar mindset. Or she may be entirely aware of how she treats you differently. Hopefully, your mother will come around and be able to show her love to you equally. In the meantime, seek out others who appreciate you, and take that in. That's what I did, and it made all the difference in my young adult life.
  835. 37.1K views · View upvotes
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  838. Mathew Cherian
  839. , I study human behaviior
  840. Answered 6 years ago · Author has 5.6K answers and 4.2M answer views
  841. If a mother hates her daughter since birth, what could the reason be?
  842. The reason could be that the husband loves the daughter more than the wife. Usually it happens that the mothers love the sons and fathers love their daughters.
  843. The excessive love of son to the mother is called Aedipus complex and a source of neurosis. The excessive respect and fear of the son towards father is called 'father complexity' and is the source for psychosis.
  844. In the context of the question the mother may be jelous of the daughter for the excessive love father has for her instead of mother.
  845. 9K views · View upvotes
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  848. Gwen S
  849. , I've loved and lost a few times, but have been found when it counted
  850. Answered 5 years ago · Author has 19.1K answers and 42.8M answer views
  851. I was never loved by my mother. She didn't care about me. I really hate my mother and my family. I have neither freedom nor love and affection from them. What should I do?
  852. Not everybody has a movie family, where everyone cares for everyone else. This is sad, but true.
  853. You are now an adult, and you can take control of your life, and make your life the way you wish it to be.
  854. Find a support group to air your burdens.
  855. If you can, go for some counseling to learn new thought processes. You can change the ways you think of your situation, so you're more positive and in control. This way, you won't be so bitter. You'll be able to meet balanced people that will make your life more natural and loving.
  856. Cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT)
  857. Write in a journal. This will help you get your emotions out. You can re-read what you've written, and learn from your thoughts.
  858. Research books and websites to find ways to heal your soul. You're going to have to find your own path. The sooner you start, the less of course you'll be. Work to find peace in your life. Promise to do better for yourself and the people you love.
  859. Work to get rid of your anger and rage towards your family. This is only hurting you, making your steps heavy and less energetic. You can accept that your past is not perfect, but you are now free of them, and can take those opportunities to rejoice in your life.
  860. Know that you are not alone. But also accept that the vast majority of people will not understand your problem. Most families are supportive and loving, even if they don't have the appropriate ways of demonstrating that. You cannot change the past, or them. You can change yourself, and what you do with your life.
  861. What Do Grown Children Owe Their Terrible, Abusive Parents?
  862. 2.3K views · View upvotes
  863. Related Questions
  864. What are signs your mother doesn't love you?
  865. How do you cope when your mother doesn't love you?
  866. I think my mom hates me. How should I handle it?
  867. I was never loved by my mother. She didn't care about me. I really hate my mother and my family. I have neither freedom nor love and affection from them. What should I do?
  868. I’m 13 and my mom tells me she hates me a number of times. She has no problem with my little brother. Why me?
  869. If a mother hates her daughter since birth, what could the reason be?
  870. What should I do if my mother hates me?
  871. My mother hates me. I'm sure of it. But she says she loves me (I think she feels guilty about the fact she hates me so she lies to herself), is there any psychological way to explain why this happens?
  872. Why does my mom hate me so much, and why do I hate her?
  873. Why do I feel like my mom hates me?
  874. My mother loves me as her daughter, but has made it clear she hates my personality. What should I do?
  875. I feel like my mom loves my sister more than me. How do I deal with that?
  876. My mother doesn't love me, is it normal for her to not love her own elder daughter?
  877. How do you cope when your mother doesn’t love you the way she loves your siblings?
  878. My mom feels like I don’t love her but I do. I just don’t express my feeling like that. She always compares me to my cousins because they are very affectionate. What should I do?
  879. Related Questions
  880. What are signs your mother doesn't love you?
  881. How do you cope when your mother doesn't love you?
  882. I think my mom hates me. How should I handle it?
  883. I was never loved by my mother. She didn't care about me. I really hate my mother and my family. I have neither freedom nor love and affection from them. What should I do?
  884. I’m 13 and my mom tells me she hates me a number of times. She has no problem with my little brother. Why me?
  885. If a mother hates her daughter since birth, what could the reason be?
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