The Real Slim Shady
EminemMay I have your attention, please?
May I have your attention, please?
Will the real Slim Shady please stand up?
I repeat, will the real Slim Shady please stand up?
We're gonna have a problem here...
[Verse 1]
Y'all act like you never seen a white person before
Jaws all on the floor like Pam like Tommy just burst in the door
And started whoopin' her ass worse than before
They first were divorced, throwin' her over furniture (Agh!)
It's the return of the "Oh, wait, no way, you're kidding
He didn't just say what I think he did, did he?"
And Dr. Dre said… nothing, you idiots!
Dr. Dre's dead, he's locked in my basement (Ha ha!)
Feminist women love Eminem
"Chicka, chicka, chicka, Slim Shady, I'm sick of him
Look at him, walkin' around, grabbin' his you-know-what
Flippin' the you-know-who," "Yeah, but he's so cute though"
Yeah, I probably got a couple of screws up in my head loose
But no worse than what's goin' on in your parents' bedrooms
Sometimes I wanna get on TV and just let loose
But can't, but it's cool for Tom Green to hump a dead moose
"My bum is on your lips, my bum is on your lips"
And if I'm lucky, you might just give it a little kiss
And that's the message that we deliver to little kids
And expect them not to know what a woman's clitoris is
Of course, they're gonna know what intercourse is
By the time they hit fourth grade
They've got the Discovery Channel, don't they?
We ain't nothin' but mammals—well, some of us, cannibals
Who cut other people open like cantaloupes
But if we can hump dead animals and antelopes
Then there's no reason that a man and another man can't elope
But if you feel like I feel, I got the antidote
Women, wave your pantyhose, sing the chorus, and it goes—
I'm Slim Shady, yes I'm the real Shady
All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
So won't the real Slim Shady please stand up
Please stand up, please stand up?
'Cause I'm Slim Shady, yes I'm the real Shady
All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
So won't the real Slim Shady please stand up
Please stand up, please stand up?
[Verse 2]
Will Smith don't gotta cuss in his raps to sell records (Nope)
Well, I do, so fuck him and fuck you too!
You think I give a damn about a GRAMMY?
Half of you critics can't even stomach me, let alone stand me
"But Slim, what if you win, wouldn't it be weird?"
Why, so you guys could just lie to get me here?
So you can sit me here next to Britney Spears?
Shit, Christina Aguilera better switch me chairs
So I can sit next to Carson Daly and Fred Durst
And hear 'em argue over who she gave head to first
Little bitch put me on blast on MTV
"Yeah, he's cute, but I think he's married to Kim, hee-hee"
I should download her audio on MP3
And show the whole world how you gave Eminem VD (Agh!)
I'm sick of you little girl and boy groups
All you do is annoy me, so I have been sent here to destroy you
And there's a million of us just like me
Who cuss like me, who just don't give a fuck like me
Who dress like me; walk, talk and act like me
And just might be the next best thing, but not quite me
'Cause I'm Slim Shady, yes I'm the real Shady
All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
So won't the real Slim Shady please stand up
Please stand up, please stand up?
'Cause I'm Slim Shady, yes I'm the real Shady
All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
So won't the real Slim Shady please stand up
Please stand up, please stand up?
[Verse 3]
I'm like a head trip to listen to, 'cause I'm only givin' you
Things you joke about with your friends inside your livin' room
The only difference is I got the balls to say it in front of y'all
And I don't gotta be false or sugarcoat it at all
I just get on the mic and spit it
And whether you like to admit it, I just shit it
Better than ninety percent of you rappers out can
Then you wonder: "How can kids eat up these albums like Valiums?"
It's funny, 'cause at the rate, I'm going, when I'm thirty
I'll be the only person in the nursing home flirting
Pinching nurse's asses when I'm jacking off with Jergens
And I'm jerking, but this whole bag of Viagra isn't working
And every single person is a Slim Shady lurking
He could be working at Burger King, spittin' on your onion rings
Or in the parking lot, circling, screaming, "I don't give a fuck!"
With his windows down and his system up
So will the real Shady please stand up
And put one of those fingers on each hand up?
And be proud to be outta your mind and outta control
And one more time, loud as you can, how does it go?
I'm Slim Shady, yes I'm the real Shady
All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
So won't the real Slim Shady please stand up
Please stand up, please stand up?
'Cause I'm Slim Shady, yes I'm the real Shady
All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
So won't the real Slim Shady please stand up
Please stand up, please stand up?
'Cause I'm Slim Shady, yes I'm the real Shady
All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
So won't the real Slim Shady please stand up
Please stand up, please stand up?
'Cause I'm Slim Shady, yes I'm the real Shady
All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
So won't the real Slim Shady please stand up
Please stand up, please stand up?
[Outro]
Ha ha, I guess there's a Slim Shady in all of us
Fuck it, let's all stand up!
[Produced by Dr. Dre & Mel-Man]
About
“The Real Slim Shady” is the quintessential early Eminem song—funny and serious simultaneously, with crazy rhyme schemes and devices.
As K-Solo had asked will the “Real Solo Please Stand Up” in 1990, Eminem did here, clearly being influenced by the little-known track.
When Eminem originally handed his magnum opus, The Marshall Mathers LP, into Interscope, Jimmy Iovine stated “the album was spectacular… they needed a song to introduce the album”. Frustrated, Eminem felt he couldn’t produce another “My Name Is”, yet he was under pressure, so he began rush recording tracks, but instead of crafting a formulaic single, he recorded “The Way I Am”. Just prior to the deadline, Eminem got back in the studio with Dr. Dre and they swiftly crafted what became the album’s lead single.
Shortly after the release of this song, a parody version was released as “Will The Real Slim Shady Please Shut Up” by Emily Ellis from the perspective of Christina Aguilera.
After listening to it a few times, Eminem apparently thought that The Real Slim Shady was too cheesy. Little does he know, Marshall is exactly the guy that fans go to for cheesy humor.
“The Real Slim Shady” was certified 4x platinum by the RIAA on February 28, 2018.
- 2.Kill You
- 3.Stan
- 5.Who Knew
- 7.The Way I Am
- 8.The Real Slim Shady
- 9.Remember Me?
- 10.I’m Back
- 11.Marshall Mathers
- 13.Drug Ballad
- 14.Amityville
- 15.Bitch Please II
- 16.Kim
- 18.Criminal
- 19.The Kids
Eminem is a lyrical genius to make this many songs and people still listening to him. No disrespect or anything, but dang.
This song isn’t just about being gross and outrageous. In fact the song goes out of the way to put the media on blast because of the way they pander to whatever inane celebrity came out the other day.
It’s about even though people look down on him society itself secret revels in everything that Slim Shady has done and will do in the future. They wish they were like that because inside of us all is a Slim Shady. Not an imitator. Slim Shady is a persona, a jerk maybe but a man who forcefully freed himself from the tedium or real life because he just had enough of it. We’re all like that. We all hate our lives, we all want to just tear out and then tear into everyone around us, and maybe we should.
Because fuck it, let’s all stand up.
2014 and listening to this. Awesome song, and still learning most of Eminem’s songs. Amazing!
Will Smith don’t gotta cuss in his raps to sell records Well,
I do; so fuck him and fuck you too
You think I give a damn about a Grammy ? =D
