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What Was That?

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Book page imageRory gasped, "Luke!"Lorelai yelled, "Babe!" and hurtled toward him, tearing off some sort of lab coat thing. Then Luke's vision was full of his wife's cleavage, his breath was knocked out of him by her legs wrapped around his middle, and he had to drop the bat or drop _her_. Since losing Lorelai wasn't an option, even to gravity, he held tight to his wife while she rained kisses on his forehead. Slime and all .Eventually, she wriggled, her signal for _let me stand_.He let her legs slide down along his, wishing desperately neither of them were wearing jeans, until he heard a meaningful "Ahem" from his wife ."Oh yeah, the boys," said Luke belatedly. "And, uh, the girls . ""They know how babies are made, " said Lorelai gravely, sapphire eyes sparkling, "but I don't think we should _show_ them."Red to his despicably thinning hair, Luke sputtered, "_Geez_,Lorelai ! ""So sorry!" wailed Rory, with April chiming in behind her."What," asked Luke, "is going on here?""Come on in and see, " invited Rory, putting goggles over her eyes .Before Luke could object, he was yanked into the garage, and Lorelai had pressed a button operating the garage door. "Oh no," he groaned, and followed obediently to the far side of the garage. There, he saw all his five-gallon utility pails full of balls of gray-brown stuff, ranging in size from golf ball to grapefruit. April offered him one of the white vinyl coats, as well as gloves and goggles."Too late," said Luke, gesturing to his shirt. "What is all this ? ""That," corrected Rory, pointing, and hefting a mud-ball."It's actually sculpting stuff," said Lorelai, "April mixed it a little loose so we don't hurt anything."Luke looked at the garage door's smeared interior. He heard a soft thud. A mud-ball broke apart, and slid down the slimed surface ."Uh, " he said, and reached to fidget with a ball cap his wife had knocked off in her greeting tackle. "What are you _doing_?"April demonstrated with a sidelong hurl that caused Luke to cringe, but he managed not to call it a _girly_ throw. It got the ball where it needed to be. That was the important part."That, " snapped April haughtily of her target, "was a picture of the producer of _Winthrop Women_. "
Book page image"Ah geez, " said Luke under his voice. "And the other ones ? ""Co-producer, also creators, head writers, and the network exec who green-lighted the revival, " snarled Rory, with a vengeful overhand.It missed everything but the floor. Given Rory's natural lack of athleticism, Luke was unsurprised.Lorelai ' s mud-ball, however, hit dead on. "Ha! Take _that_! Witch! Wench ! Uha€ 1 ""Show-killer!" yelled Rory. "Dream-ruiners !Revival-wreckers ! "Eyebrows up, Luke stepped out of the way of the younger two women's wrath, and asked Lorelai quietly, "So, uh, good thing we left for the week? "To his surprise, Lorelai burrowed into his chest, mud and all, with a sniffle and a nod. "It was _awful_. Oh, Luke, the first one, it was ninety minutes of total whiskey-tango-foxtrot, but we thought, okay, there's gotta be something to make sense of it in the second one, so that was the one on Tuesday night, and it sorta got betteraC 1 ""Breathe, " murmured Luke gently, getting muck in her hair when he stroked it.Lorelai sucked in air with a sad whimper. "The third night, that was Thursday, was like happy-land, y'know, it was great, we were so glad, it was all, y'know, sunshine, roses, happy middles, happy endings, happy happiness, and it justaC 1 So last night, the last onea€ 1 " Her abdomen and chest both heaved. Luke shushed her with a soft sigh."Oh, Luke, they had Duke and Laurie broken up after all, and she was moving in with that disgusting mother of hers to take care of this woman who never treated her like she was worth anything, anda€ 1 ""Easy," said Luke, under shouts of, "Haters! Cheaters! Money-sucking goons ! ""And the daughter? Every single episode-thingy had her with a different guy, and we _still_ don't know who she ended up with, except maybe nobody!" Lorelai ranted on quietly, big blue eyes very hurt, and also very angry. "We waited years and years and thought and hoped and got all excited and do you know what happened? The last sceneaC 1 The _last scene_a€ 1 ""Lorelai, it's a show, that's all," he attempted."Duke's holding hands with Aaron's wicked troll of a mother while Aaron gets a medical degree, but they weren't even talking for, like, the whole time since _Winthrop Women_ ended! When did they all of a sudden end up okay in the last five minutes? They weren't even in the same building the first three installments! What _was_ that ? ""Lorelai, " Luke tried, wincing as mud-balls hit the garage door in thudding splashes.
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