That Again
Disclaimer: Not mine. Duh.
Summary: The gals squee over a revival of their fave show in a sequel to "Who does that?" Same AU. Trust me. Really.
Genre: Humor
Rating: Teen
AN: I had to do it. Also, the twins are the same names as "Gwen and Gavin" story but are not meant to be from the same AU, so if they're not consistent with that, it's okay. For one thing, they're teens in this, but only little kids in the other, and I just needed names, so I used the names. Sorry for confusion.
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A female chorus rose to ear-scratching pitch. "Omigodomigodomigod!"
Two whining male voices cracked, "Da-ad!"
Luke Danes let his forehead rest on the cupboard door. He didn't quite thump his skull into it, but he came close. It was nearly ten years since his tenth wedding anniversary, his widowed mother-in-law was making him insane with plans to celebrate between bouts of tears over her own lost husband, and now he had three bouncing, squealing women and two sullen teen boys interrupting his concentration. Which meant, of course, supper was going to be blackened chicken and rice, if this kept up.
He slammed a skillet against the counter, roaring, "That's it!"
The boys heeded the warning. Matt and Liam were fraternal twins, but still possessed uncanny insight into each other's minds. They were nearly to the front door, Wii left behind, when he snagged them by the backs of their jeans. Not their t-shirts. That would cut off air, and air was vital to growing boys. Racking their gonads via parental grip on denim, however, would most certainly get their attention without lasting harm.
"Siddown!" he bellowed.
The boys sat. Both were dark-haired, blue-eyed, unique blends of Danes-Gilmore DNA. Now that they were in high school, Matt's quiet Luke-ness was manifesting in high honors and excellence at baseball and, to Luke's confusion, the still-alien-seeming sport of soccer. Liam's bubbly Gilmore charm didn't negate the high honors, but did mean his activities inclined toward indifferent outfielding and enthusiastic student council participation. Both had inherited their mother's tendency to drink coffee and fascination with all things video. Fortunately, they also wanted to earn degrees someday. Liam was thinking hotel and resort management, like his mother, and loved helping out at the Dragonfly Inn. Matt had taken on a fascination with chemistry that began with food and now included anything he could lay hands on.
Meanwhile, as Luke meditated upon his boys, and the fact he was nearly twenty years married, his daughter by Anna Nardini and his step-daughter Rory and his wife Lorelai were still jumping up and down, dancing in a circle, squealing, "Omigodomigod!"
Luke marched to the kitchen. He picked up a pot lid. The boys saw that and the metal ladle, and covered their ears. "Crap," said Liam. "Geez," said Matt.
Luke slammed the ladle into the pot lid.
The reverberations of the cla-a-a-oing eventually faded.
Three women stared at him. "Sheesh," said Rory. "You'd think he'd never seen us get all squee before."
Rubbing at his forever balding head, Luke ground out, "What. Is. Going. On?"
April Nardini, now in graduate school for something-physics, volunteered, "Dad. They're bringing back Winthrop Women!"
The three men in the room traded shrugs. "Uh," said Luke, and decided that about summed it up.
"No no no, not uh, uh-mazing!" enthused Lorelai, wrapping herself around him with a winning smile. "You remember, when we had that really bad snowstorm? We watched the show again, all seven seasons?"
Memory stirred. "Oh. That again. Yeah. Twice. Twice." He cringed visibly. "Gah. No men on that show made sense, and the women were…"
Three glares reminded him of his audience. So did the two adolescent male sniggers.
"And I'm sure this is great, but what do you mean it's back? It's already on Net-loo or whatever it's called."
"No no no," squeaked April, brown eyes shining. "Back. Revival. New episodes. Well, four long episodes. More like four television-length movies. With the original producer and writer."
"The one who crashed the show," said Rory enthusiastically, and somehow hopped in place in three-inch-heeled pumps without hurting herself. "She gets to make it up to us!"
"You made all that noise over an old television program coming back, when you hated the way it ended?"
Three women chimed, "We did not!"
The boys guffawed. One glare from Luke, and the Twin Terrors shut up.
"How could we hate…"
"They got Duke and Laurie…"
"Okay, yeah, she married Cass but…"
"Duke was such a jerk and…"
"Aaron just disappeared and…"
"Then there was the whole new car thing…"
"Oh, and the party for Rita…"
"And when Laurie's dad got cancer…"
"And…"
Shoulders hunched to his ears, Luke begged, "Please stop!"
The three overlapping female voices stopped. All three faces stared at him with wide eyes and little surprised O-shaped mouths. April with her sensible short hair, Rory flipping bangs impatiently off her face, and his Lorelai with her curls as yet untouched by gray. He adored his girls. So he took a deep breath. Clear into his toes. Then he exhaled, "And this is a good thing?"
"Of course! We find out if Rita ends up with Jack or Lance or Danny!" squealed Rory, very like her old teen self.
"And we find out how many kids and dogs Laurie and Duke have!" yipped Lorelai happily, in which sentiment she was echoed by the family's golden retriever, who also thumped its tail against the nearest breakable object.
April nimbly rescued the priceless heirloom Gilmore family monstrosity before adding, "Oooh, and that witchy mom of Aaron's, and what happened to Aaron?"
"Oh, and the mayor and the…"
"Okay, I get it, I get it!" Luke surrendered, hands up. "Okay. Good thing. Return of the weirdo women."
Three voices corrected sharply, "Winthrop Women!"
"Yeah, them too."
A moment of silence followed that. The boys shrank into the couch. Clearly, they realized their father's error. After a heartbeat or two, so did their father. Some things were sacred in Gilmore-Land. Movies and television ranked fairly high on the list.
Lorelai's blue eyes narrowed. "Uh-huh. Y'know, pal, you've been complaining you don't want a twentieth anniversary party. You can go ahead and not have a twentieth anniversary with the weirdo woman."
His sons very helpfully chortled. "She's got the strings, Pinocchio," said Liam, while Matt sighed, "And he tells us to watch what we say."
"How much time do I have before this insanity starts again?" asked Luke sensibly.
"Dunno, they only announced it today," said Rory, clapping her hands once. "Isn't it great? Oh wow, can you imagine…"
"Yes, I can," interrupted Luke dryly, "and that's why I'm going to finish cooking supper, the boys will set the table now, and…"
"And you might get dessert," purred Lorelai against his ear, bussing his cheek with a quick kiss. "Love you. Sorry about the mayhem. Just. Imagine you could see, um, Joe DiMaggio play baseball?"
Luke laughed and returned the kiss. "Only took twenty years for you to get that right."
She fluttered her lashes behind her reading glasses. "Or maybe I just think it's cute when that vein in your forehead pops out."
Four voices said, "Ew!"
"Children present!" added Matt while Liam made exaggerated choking noises.
Shaking his head, Luke retreated to the kitchen to finish what would most certainly now be blackened chicken. He rummaged the kitchen in order to alter the rice to balance the changed flavor.
In the living room, the women were trading theories and hopes fast and furious, their voices a blur of sound that rose and fell. Arguing, debating, insisting that this or that character should have this or that fate. Which characters deserved to be seen, unseen, tormented, lauded, and all the excitement he'd thought long left behind with low-riding jeans, some of his hair, and Kirk Gleason's attempt to run a heated yoga studio.
"No way!" yelped Rory over the rest. "No, she'd never be that stupid!"
"Au contraire," said Lorelai, and April jumped in with, "C'mon, how junior high can you get?"
Déjà vu turned his stomach. On principle alone, usually.
"Great," he said wearily. "That again."
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AN: My first posted fic here was "Who Does That?", an AU where our Stars Hollow faves ponder the season finale of a mythical (parallel) show called Winthrop Women. I decided to time-jump to the same AU and see how Luke feels about the revival of this show so loved by his wife and gals, and not so much by himself and his boys. Matt and Liam are my OCs. In this AU, the Ls married when April was a wee toddler, their romance having begun when Lorelai saved Luke from his teething child's cries. (Or you could go read "Who Does That?", LOL.)