![](data:image/svg+xml,<svg xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg" width="600" height="200"><rect fill-opacity="0"/></svg>)
![](data:image/svg+xml,<svg xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg" width="73" height="73"><rect fill-opacity="0"/></svg>)
At the shops: I mustn’t buy a little chocolate treat
When I get home: I wish I had a little chocolate treat
241
2.1万
14.2万
Luke
Luke
136 件のツイート
![](data:image/svg+xml,<svg xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg" width="200" height="200"><rect fill-opacity="0"/></svg>)
フォロー
Luke
@SilianRail
Rock-it scientist
Lukeさんのツイート
If you ever worry you’re too old to find a career doing what you love and which showcases your true talents, it will perhaps inspire you to know Willem Dafoe was fifty-four before he ever did a movie that featured his enormous penis.
14
46
594
Dynasty Warriors clone where you play as 2007 M2K cutting through swarms of 2020 mid-level spacies sent back in time with their current melee skill level, which does not grow or change at all
20
243
3,676
ME: hey. how was your day
THE EYE THAT FLOATS UNBLINKING, SILENT & UNTETHERED FROM TIME, IN MY KITCHEN: 
ME: don't know why I fuckin bother
46
1.3万
2.2万
How do I reconcile the value of a $1 Triple Cheeseburger against achieving any of my personal or professional goals today?
1
You know, did a beautiful job moderating #debatenight. Really great! No one moderated better than him.
4
Thanks for clearing that up, J.K.
引用ツイート
![](data:image/svg+xml,<svg xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg" width="48" height="48"><rect fill-opacity="0"/></svg>)
J.K. Rowling
@jk_rowling
·
I've been asked to make it clear that Harambe is not a Patronus you can actually get on @pottermore. The previous RT is a joke. As you were.
2
ATTENTION MALES: If a girl keeps holding down she OBVIOUSLY doesn't want to talk, check your patriarchal privilege
![画像](data:image/svg+xml,<svg xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg" width="542" height="680"><rect fill-opacity="0"/></svg>)
25
1,153
2,266
[ad in jail]
like being in jail?
great news, you already are
6
284
1,085
![画像](data:image/svg+xml,<svg xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg" width="680" height="680"><rect fill-opacity="0"/></svg>)
6
I've never had to explain my mail until I got sleep-aids in an unmarked box. Thanks, ! #ZzzQuil #SleepLovers #voxbox
7
"Luke"
1
1
Not only did change the green one from lime to green apple, but there's an "Orchard Blend" that has lime, instead? #NoAppleFlavors
After six seasons, I finally understand why it's called "King's Landing" #GameofThrones
1
The hand-print won't wash out, so I guess the zombies have added this Henley to their list of victims. #survivor
![画像](data:image/svg+xml,<svg xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg" width="544" height="680"><rect fill-opacity="0"/></svg>)
2
You should be able to call in "angry" to work
239
6,453
1.5万
Incredible.
引用ツイート
Donald J. Trump
@realDonaldTrump
·
Happy #CincoDeMayo! The best taco bowls are made in Trump Tower Grill. I love Hispanics! facebook.com/DonaldTrump/po
![画像](data:image/svg+xml,<svg xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg" width="510" height="680"><rect fill-opacity="0"/></svg>)
2
Any pizza is a personal pizza if you believe in yourself.
![画像](data:image/svg+xml,<svg xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg" width="640" height="640"><rect fill-opacity="0"/></svg>)
Venmo is giving me waaaaaaay too much credit for what kind of late-night delivery I am reimbursing.
![画像](data:image/svg+xml,<svg xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg" width="639" height="562"><rect fill-opacity="0"/></svg>)
1
Social network that requires you to post what you did about it after it recognizes you've complained or expressed offense.
5
369
851
![画像](data:image/svg+xml,<svg xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg" width="180" height="240"><rect fill-opacity="0"/></svg>)
![画像](data:image/svg+xml,<svg xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg" width="120" height="120"><rect fill-opacity="0"/></svg>)