Do you hate your life? Do you think that suicide is the only way out that will stop your pain? Of course, I don't know your personal circumstances. I haven't walked a mile in your shoes. But I know what it feels to be desperate. There was a moment in my life when I didn't see any sense in waking up in the mornings. I had nobody by my side who could understand me. I wanted to put an end to my suffering...
The Best Way To Kill Yourself >>
But I didn't do it. And do you know what stopped me? If you’re now Googling 'how to kill yourself', you should know one important thing which saved me 5 years ago. It appears that there’s absolutely no safe and painless way to kill yourself. There's always some possibility that it goes all wrong and you die an awful death. Or, you survive and live with a kind of physical disability, becoming a burden for someone who will have to take care of you possibly for decades.
Anyway, let’s see what are the top ways to kill yourself and why they are all wrong:
How to Kill Yourself: 5 Seemingly Easy Ways
So, if you decided to commit a suicide, you should know that it’s not that easy as it seems. Self-protection is one of the basic human instincts. It means that your body will resist your intention. You can lose consciousness at the critical moments only to stay alive as a result.
You might ask why then all those deaths by accident take place. Well, when a person isn't suicidal, the body is not prepared, and the instinct of self-protection isn’t turned on.
In most cases, it's way easier to do serious harm to your health than put an end to it all:
- Wrist cutting. Even multiple parallel cuts are absolutely compatible with life. It's really painful and frightening to see your wrists bleeding. However, killing yourself in this way is possible only in case of massive blood loss. In general, wrist cutting won't work. It's very painful and ineffective.
- Drowning. It's a typical case when the self-protection can be the strongest. When the level of oxygen becomes critically low and/or liquid gets into your lungs, you can faint. And then you body can flow on the water surface to be later noticed and rescued.
- Firearms. There's always a strong likelihood that you only wound yourself. It's pretty close to impossible to shoot yourself not moving a muscle. Even if you try to shoot yourself in the head, you can fail and remain alive but "with special needs" for the rest of your life.
- Hyperthermia. Even though we all heard those awful stories about people who froze in the mountains, this method is a bad choice for anyone who's wondering how to kill yourself. Once again, you can lose your limbs or freeze some important organs and still remain alive. By the way, it's by no means fast and it's very painful.
- Medication overdose. It's often chosen by the ones who wonder 'how to kill yourself in your sleep'. As the result of self-protection instinct, you can vomit when you least expect it. Even if your body dissolves the substance, it can go all wrong. There are records when the attempts of suicide through medication overdose ended up in serious problems with digestion system, liver and kidneys, without bringing the desired result.
How to Kill Yourself: 5 Budget Options
Another important criterion for your choice of the best way to kill yourself is the price. The method should be cheap. Self-murderers rarely want to invest into the process. So, here are 5 budget options, which are ineffective as well:
- Jumping from height. Of course, it costs you nothing. Yet, the disappointing news is that many people survived falls from incredible height. Yes, you're most likely to break your spine and limbs and suffer from inner destructions and remain disabled for the rest of your life.
- Jumping in front of a train. Although it doesn't cost you a dime, it's a bad choice as well. The chances that you lose your footing and unexpectedly fall, losing only your legs or arms, for instance, are pretty high.
- Hanging. A suicide by hanging doesn't require any complicated techniques, and the materials are easily available. However, this method is painful. The time before a person loses consciousness depends on a variety of factors. Sometimes it can take more than 10 minutes of suffering. Furthermore, there are numerous cases when a person survives even though his/her neck can be broken.
- Starvation/dehydration. Though this method is very cheap, the suffering should last for weeks. It can drive anyone crazy, which is a serious type of disability as well.
- Electrocution. Just so that you know, this method inflicts agonizing pain. Even the Supreme Court recognized that electrocution brings unnecessary pain to criminals and it's inhuman.
So, none of suicide methods can guarantee you secure and painful end to your suffering. There’s no obvious answer to the question 'how to kill yourself without pain'. In most cases, suicide attempts fail and result in disability and even worse suffering than whatever you’re going through right now.
Depression can cause us to have the most unhelpful of thoughts. It really twists everything and you need people to tell you what's what sometimes. I know i do anyway. A rational voice amongst the irrational thoughts of depression.
ReplyDeleteI want to end my life and I am trying to figure out the easiest way how and fastest I can't take it no more everything is falling apart I am all alone and can't do this
DeleteSame! I cant live anymore my mom and my dad doesnt even care about me. Itll be my birthday tomorrow. And im thinking of killing myself. My mom and my dad never fail to remind me and tell me that im a useless and a good for nothing child. Their right tho.
DeleteDoes anyone know a good way I'm sick of my life
Deleteᗩᒪᒪ I KᑎOᗯ Iᔕ ᑌ ᑎEEᗪ TO ᗪO IT ᖇIGᕼT ᑕᑌᘔ I ᗩTTEᗰᑭTEᗪ ᒪᗩᗩT ᗯEEK ᗩᑎᗪ ᗯᗩᔕ ᑕOᗰᑭᒪETEᒪY ᑌᑎᔕᑌᑕᑕEᔕᔕᖴᑌᒪ ᗩᑎᗪ ᑎOᗯ EᐯEᖇYTᕼIᑎG Iᔕ TEᑎ ᗰIᒪᒪIOᑎ TIᗰEᔕ ᗯOᖇᔕE.
DeleteI want to end my life because my crush bullies me but I can't stop loving him and the people I love seem to stop loving me even tho I am very young I want to end my miserable life
Deletethis is the way im going to end my life next week ,,,,,im going to hang my self ,,,ok I here you all shout ,,,,,been planning this for a few months ,looking into each step and working out how long the fall should be according to my waight and where the knott should be( under my chin) ive found my tree ,,,,here the good bit ,,as it takes a lot to jump off a branch up a tree ,,,,gat 2 grames of ketamine ,,,clime to the branch attach the rope ,,,oh ,the rope ,,really needs to be between 3\4 inch to a inch thick ,,,,sniff the ket while standing on the branch ,,,,you will get so smashed you will fall off the branch ,,,,,,that's the way im going to do it ////////
DeleteI want to kill myself I try hanging myself but I woke up sitting on the ground still alive I still have no idea how my body got myself out but I have done some planning and I think I might just jump the thing is I'm only 11 see how world things can go wrong in just seconds well it did my brother is a dick almost every one at school is a dick and mom dad are mean to me most of
DeleteThe time I have no friends and we live in the middle of nowhere I think I mite make the right choice and end it ��
Hey i am same but woke up freezing cold and alive my next is car and hose gas myself much better just driving to spot now goodbye to this fucking shit life rob
DeleteToday I lost the love of my life. She was my everything and she was all I lived for. Now that she's gone, I feel like giving up... my pet gold fish was the most incredible fish ever! I want to die how she died .. being eaten alive by my dad.
Deletei know that feeling as well i had that issue last night my depression tells me my fiance is cheating on me with my twin sister when i'm not looking and that they'd make a better couple so i went on the roof and cried for a good hour came in still crying as they were shutting off they playstation he sent her away and held m while i cried and promised me nothing would ever take me from him
ReplyDeleteSorry babe he's lying.
DeleteDam perfect lol
DeleteMonte Goodner why are you in here. You dont mess with someone that is depressed like that. You are a sick person. And should be put down yourself
Deleteagreed :)
DeleteAsk him why his mother didn't abort him earlier?
DeleteThen shoot them both in the foot,so they are stuck together.
Walk away from toxic waste!Maybe get a tattoo that lives on the back of your ear while you hide out from cops.Never the less best part is you did Not have to go into a blindness,marriage with toxic waste.Heart will forget eventually.
I don't want to die. But I am about to end up on the street again because I pursued my dream. It would mean that I will loose my pets, the only thing that really matters to me. I have no friends or family that are interested in helping. To me this is just the only option left since I have exhausted all other. I am busy researching ways and getting everything ready. Should be within the next two weeks if I don't get help
DeleteI don't want to die. But I am about to end up on the street again because I pursued my dream. It would mean that I will loose my pets, the only thing that really matters to me. I have no friends or family that are interested in helping. To me this is just the only option left since I have exhausted all other. I am busy researching ways and getting everything ready. Should be within the next two weeks if I don't get help
DeleteWhat is the easy way to suicide please help.. Plzzzzz
DeleteIdk but you could over dose, slit your wrists and then jump off a building or bridge
DeletePeople think cutting your writs is painful but it's not you hold the razor hard against your writs and build up some Adrenalin thin with a hard quick motion cut it's not painful it's cold lots of blood but cold you loose conscience then if your lucky enough not to be found by a good goody that trays to save u that's it you feel nothing
DeleteCarbon monoxide poisoning with my car in an enclosed space with the muffler ripped off and a tube from the exhaust through a cracked window while sleeping using sleeping pills. I may try that. I could even play some good music while I go.
ReplyDeleteSo, how did it go?
DeleteWow! People are brutal on this site! I'm even more depressed now! Thanks anon for the car muffler gas sleeping pill thing! Great idea!
DeleteWish there was an easy way to die
DeleteI am going to try that I hope it works I don't want to be here tired of the pain
DeleteᔕᒪEEᑭIᑎG ᑭIᒪᒪᔕ ᗯ TOᑎᔕ Oᖴ ᒪIᑫᑌOᖇ ᗪOEᔕᑎT ᗯOᖇK
DeleteCarbon monoxide and sleeping pills. A good combination to die. Will definitely try.
DeleteJust make sure the hose your using doesn't melt off the tailpipe. I tried this and it melted. woke up next day to police and paramedics taking me to psych ward. should just go out with bang and take ppl making your life hell with you.
DeleteHow long would it take to kill me ??
ReplyDeleteIm just here because Fallout 4 is taking forever to install
ReplyDeleteSame
DeleteLiterally write purple on a the cake.Follow instructions.Then try having a long affair with your boss,have abortion,and spend a decade trying to get youroyour only birth ed child back from a child molester and have maybe $5 to your name for 2weeks to try living...so how long does it take to kill me? Press delete button two times. Then talk about your fucking problems as if they are all most over.Now may I please barrow some money for chocolate and a light bill?
DeleteKill urself everyone life isnt worth it
ReplyDeleteehuehuehe tru
DeleteAND FOR FUCK'S SAKE: STOP HAVING KIDS!!! IF ONLY MY SADISTIC PARENTS HADN'T... 41 YRS. LATER I'M STILL SUFFERING. FUCK LIFE.
DeleteYou people act like this is a joke. People are actually on here trying to find a quick and painless way to go. And you fucks are making jokes thinking it's funny commenting that your on here because games aren't downloading or life is not worth it and to just go ahead and do it. You may not know the people on here but it does not give you the fucking right to post something so cold and heartless. It's people like you who make people like us hate this world and want to go. So fuck you, fuck all of you. I'll see you in hell you fucking racist, disrespectful, cold, pieces of shit.
DeleteI'm actually on here trying to find a way to go, and it is pretty funny. Is there something wrong with keeping the mood light? Racist, what? You rip into others for being selfish, but this post was only written so you could feel like a better person than people who see death and respond with wit. Off to die now, try not to have a heart attack.
DeleteI didn't just stumble upon here. I'm glad you can enjoy others misery.
Deletelol
DeleteI feel like ending my life to day, I have was told o have ptsd and clinicAl depression, I feel terrible and really sweaty
Deleteima shoot myself in the head
DeleteTake me with you
DeleteCome shoot mee too
DeleteGet really wasted and fall a LONG way to the ground.
DeleteI know a lot of people are sad and suffering and we all get told to hold on and get help, to stay alive at all costs, to endure and endure and endure.
Sometimes the right move is to let go. The world is full of people and we aren't all special shining gems. We all live, we all die ... everyone and everything dies, so if life just sucks and truly cannot get any better than pain and misery, don't we have the freedom ... the RIGHT to decide when we want to get off the rollercoaster.
I'm not being facetious or flippant and those in indecisive turmoil or seeking help should really try to find it, not bail on life on a whim, but if a person has thought and thought and feels that there really is no better option, then maybe ending their suffering on their own terms will be their final act of controlling their lives.
I hope no-one reading this kills themselves because I have made a compelling arguement, but if you have decided, then be quick about it and try to limit the damage to your friends and loved ones. Don't leave a bitter or accusing note, don't leave a mess for someone to find, forgive all your friends even if they have had a hand in pushing you towards this and tidy up your affairs.
And for fucks sake, delete your browser history.
Imma try the carbon Monoxide poisoning and the pills what a great idea damn I wish I thought of that when I was 10 now I'm 16 fuck yes finally found a way!!!!!
DeleteSuicide is not about the methods, you can die from a scratch, if you will but learn to persuade your subconscious to let you die. Try whatever you want but you aren't going to die until you conquer that part of your mind which tortures you and refuses to let you go.
ReplyDeleteShut the fuck up you wannabe enlightened bitch.
DeleteThat's pretty cool
DeleteSuck my penis. that is easiest way to die
DeleteProbably bc they will die of old age trying to find said penis bc it is so small. Probably the same size as your brain.
DeleteProbably bc they will die of old age trying to find said penis bc it is so small. Probably the same size as your brain.
Deletesometimes i just hate my life so much. i feel like i am hear to make others happy while i go thru life miserable. it feels that i have been hurt by so many people. that all people seem to look the same as the ones who have hurt me in the past. I am really tired of trying to find the good in this fucked up place. I hate it here, and all the people here too. i dont want the people to die. I just want to leave so i dont have to deal with them anymore. only one person would prolly care that i am gone. but fuck... i shouldn't have to stay miserable for others to be happy. As i get older and older i realize things will never get better. If things were ever to get any better, By the time they get better i will be too old to enjoy or care about it. So whats wrong with a shortcut to the end. I can remember feeling this way for 10 years at least and it gets worse as the years pass, not any better. Whats the point of continuing on.
ReplyDeletei feel similar
Deletei feel similar
Deletehave you ever smoked weed?
Deletesame kinda feel like a mistake though sumtimes I just feel I wasn't suppose to be here at all espically with all the hit ive gone through and still am going through its like no one cares about u but the only reason y people want u around is for the attention or to use you life sux I don't see y its against the law to kill yourself personally I don't think you should have to be forced to live your life and be miserable personally if u want to kill yourself there should place where you go and they hand u a gun and let u blow ur brains out. I'm sooooooo done with life
DeleteI just wanna know how to go quick and painless. Fuck I thought this'd be easy I'm 100% ready and completely happy about it, it's nothing to be sad over. Now damnit what has a 100% or close chance of killing me cause I'm getting tired of this shit. I'm not taking pills if there's a good chance of just waking up, I can't afford a gun and I don't have a garage. What next?
DeletePlease don't kill yourselves everyone everyone can find happiness just luck please
DeleteI feel your pain I feel the same way have done for years now just going through the motions of life always wearing a mask pretending all is ok
DeleteI am going through the same exact thing... I am trying to help all these other people and while I am helping I am making myself miserable at the Same time... I came to this website because I have given up on any reason to even exist... No ones cares anymore... As every night goes by things keep getting worse and worse and BTW thanks to the person recommended the car and pills thing .. I get the chance I will try that....
DeleteTaking my life is something i have NEVER considered as an option. Until 2013. And Ive been trying ever since, without- obviously- success. The ONLY reason for my death-wish is I have an incurable disease and no medical treatments my Doctors put me on are working. A broken bone has made my disease hasten and my PCP left the profession. My neuro wont return my phone calls, write any scripts for pain and I can no longer
ReplyDeleteLeave my apt. If only I lived in Oregon. I dont and i have been through hell trying to end my misery and making it worse each time I fail I have always stepped up and overcome every obstacle life has put in my path. I have no tools to use to fight this beast, Im beat and I know it. No "anti depressant" can make this right. No counselling, or inpatient mental facility has even addressed the REAL issue, wanting to die because of a disease thats getting worse and will not respond to ANY treatments.
ReplyDeleteSo coming on this site and reading cheer up lifes worth living get help blabla was a COMPLETE waste of my time and energy!
ReplyDeleteI know right? Same here
Deletedamn this is getting to be a cold world. ... don't know what to tell ya. Hope you found some kind of joy in life. Keep asking God for an answer and he should respond eventually, which actually kind of answers my own question.
Deletetonight... i will not wake up.
ReplyDeleteDid you wake up?
Deletejust gonna say bye now. enjoy
DeleteIf you are going to write about methods of suicide, you should learn how to spell them correctly. It's HYPOTHERMIA - totally different from hyperthermia - which means overheating.
ReplyDeleteDon't be so rude people are hurting here
DeleteThis is all very sad tbh I think we all have hit low points in our life put it this way and by in no means am I trying to relate to any of this but I lost 2 of my baby's I am a 22 year old male BTW so back on point after losing my 2 baby's I went on one big mental breakdown I was depressed every day drinking every day then I lost my wife dew to my actions I lost my family my kids my woman I honestly lost everything so I tryed to kill myself in fact I tryed to do it every day because I wanted to see my kids BUT no matter what I did to myself nothing worked I cut I took pills alot of pills drugs anything I could to take my pain away to this day my ex are still not talking all I did was make it worse BUT to get back on topic don't do it if you are going to and you are sure it's the best thing to do best advice get a gun before someone calls the hospital on you because after that you will no longer be able to buy one as you will be considered mentally unstable plus your not going to need that 500 bucks anyways right ? But the only reason am saying this is because I feel like you should know that it is the most painless way to go and most effective but know that I got better and you can too go out and find a hobby make good friends find people who care about you because I ensure you there is always someone there for you you just need to look hell look at me I lost everything am still single I don't talk to anyone but am saying positive and you can too most of all the comments are from dumb kids who don't know shit I got better and all of you guys can too :)
ReplyDeleteUseless article as any other. Some of us are 110% sure to end it, and we get 'postives' of life when life has been negative to us all our lives.
ReplyDeleteThank you for this article. And I agree with the point about the gun. Make sure that you aim for either the cortex or the top of your spinal cord at least up towards the cortex which controls the vital body functions. If you just shoot through the middle of the top part of your head there is a good chance you will live. I don't suggest anybody actually do that nor do I condone it but I understand some people go through some serious hell of a pain and if you have the balls to actually take your own life you must be going through some serious shit, I would hope first though that you would experience a miracle or some kind of personal intervention or wonderful people who would enter your life instead. I always like the advice to just get high also, that makes a huge huge difference for a drug addict
ReplyDeleteOne creative way is to tie a long rope to a tree, on the other end tie a noose and put it around your neck. Then get in your car and drop a few bricks on the gas pedal, decapitating yourself.
ReplyDeleteThe bible helped me get through my low points. I read it got the first time last year. Went from atheist to a believer. It really helped me.
ReplyDeletebiggest load of bullshit god isn't real if he was he wouldn't make us go through this bullshit you call life
DeletePraise God anonymous bible reader and new believer.I have only been reading all this because my boyfriend had bookmarked the page ,being severely depressed.I agree JESUS IS THE ANSWER.TRUST HIM PEOPLE.God doesn't make you 'go through things'.We all have chooses .Even good daddies dont give you all you want.He is with you every step of the way .All you need to do is ask for forgiveness(We all sin). Believe with your who;e heart Jesus died for your sins and the sins of the world and commit to follow his way.Ask him to help you in your tough times.It works!!!!Praise Jesus that even more people will live for Jesus instead of the devil.He wants us dead so will cant do anything positive with our lives and so we wont go to heaven.Say no to the devil.I pray that everyone reading this will decide their lives are worth living and follow Jesus.In Jesus name AMEN.Glenda
DeleteIf you do some historical research you will realize that the character of Jesus never existed. The Bible is a book full of atrocities like racial hatred, advocating of slavery, rape, incest, child murder, sexism, inaccurate history, contradictions and false promises. It has been responsible for the massacre of millions of innocent people over the ages and was the main reason for the dark ages.
DeleteIf anything it will give you false hope through empty promises and you will end up right back here because, as the jesus promises of you having a better life fails one after the other, the Christian "Good Samaritans" will judge you and probably tell you that it is because you are doing something wrong. Next thing they will give up on you.
Last thing someone who wants to kill themselves need is false hope and lies
RIGHT!
DeleteYou nailed it on the head.
WRONG! GOD Does EXIST. I just want to go home and live with Him so I will no longer be in this mental pain. I have been in for 45 years and physical pain for a year. Also with all the disappointment in this life. I have blessings..sure. I just have to many curses.
DeleteFor all of those who say that God does not exist, i pray for you. I came onto this site becauae i am going thru a really hard time now and quite honestly i was a little curious. I have been suicidal for as long as i can remember, since grade school. I've watched my father beat the crap out of my mom for years and often times felt alone and unloved. I'm now a mother and a wife and have come a long way but find myself again feeling torn, unloved and alone and when you're mentally unstable it makes everything feel worse. Prayer does help, for most people its not going to instantly solve all your problems but when you have Faith also it helps. But please don't think all you have to do is pray and thats it. You have to put forth some effort to change things. I always pray for strength amongst other things.
DeleteIf the Bible and Jesus is the answer please tell us why o why you are checking out this site.
Deletei think just take every high risk you can. do drugs, be homeless, give up your life and live as a nomad doing whatever you want in any moment. leave behind all your friends and fsmily, no more contact, file off your fingertips, knock put your teeth so you cant be identified. stay high when the situation arrises put yourself in the center of it.
ReplyDeleteI wish but im too scared about the world outside. I feel like i am going to get caught and then my life would suck even more. I can't study, i am not pretty i cant make my parent happy. Not even good at sports. My parents dont let me go out, i cant have social media. Cant even watch M movies even though i am 16 year old girl. I just want a normal life, what's wrong with asking god that. The only reason i am living is part of me says my futures gonna be better. I will have a husband who loves me. I will have a family of my own. I just wish that could happen. But for me to have good future i need to study, which i cant do at all
DeleteWow Same
DeleteSame
Deletemost efficient way to kill myself for beginners? thanks OwO >w< ._.
ReplyDeleteFrom my own experience, i believe that the most cost efficient way is to completely drown yourself in the guilt of killing your ex lover and then shutting down and hanging yourself like a authentic mexican piñata.
Deletei find it really offensive how youre making a joke out of my desire to kill myself. i wanted genuine advice and all you gave me was your autistic mexican slang. my dad was mexican and it triggers me 5 times at once. please, stop
ReplyDeletei find it even more offensive that you don't think that my advice is genuine. you want a genuine advice, how about you got to the swan river and go swimming with the fucking fishes. maybe the will appreciate you, unlike your dead father, who abused mummy and beat your dog, you puff.
DeleteWhat ze fuck did you just fucking say about me, you verdammter Jude? I'll have you know I graduated top of mein class in ze Hitlerjugend, and I've been involved in numerous secret Gestapo raids in Berlin, and I have over 300 confirmed executions. I am trained in gorilla gassing and I am ze top sniper in ze entire Wehrmacht. You are nothing to me but just another race traitor. I will wipe you ze fuck out with precision ze likes of which has never been seen before on this Reich, mark mein fucking words. You think you can get away with saying zat scheiße to me over ze Internet? Think again, arschloch. As vee speak I am contacting mein secret network of spies across Deutschland and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for ze storm, blödel. Ze storm zat wipes out ze pathetic little thing you call your life. You're fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and zat's just with mein machinenpistole. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed kampf, but I have access to ze entire arsenal of ze Wehrmacht forces and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable arsch off ze face of ze Reich, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy blitzkrieg your little "clever" kommentar was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying ze price, you verdammter dummkopf. I will shit Zyklon B all over you and you will drown in it. You're fucking dead, kiddo.
Deletelel whos adam hows louey
Deleteill tell anne
Deleteanne, oh i remember her she was the girl i assaulted sexually when she was drunk. and emily, yeah i remember her too she was also one of my playthings, but instead of assaulting her i made love to her and we talked adams small biceps
Deleteonly more reason to kill myself i guess
Deletewhoa chill hitler is dead and he was the lucky one
DeleteSome of these people are getting to me.....I came here and I wanted genuine advice. I am fourteen. Haven't I lived long enough?!! Now I am reading arguments unrelated to the subject. First off, it's not right to say stuff like that about his/her father. YOU KNOW WHAT?! FUCK IT!! I GIVE UP! EVERYONE'S GONNA BOTHER ME ANYWAY!
Deletewhy did you go all quiet, did you decide to end yourlife. Are you by any chance swimming in swan river with the fishes
ReplyDeleteStarvation seemes painful, yall are dumbasses for wanting to kill yourselfs,there is always another way out, yall just aint got dem balz
ReplyDeleteHow dare you say something like that to a bunch of people who are ready to kill themselves, why are you on this site then if you're so much better than everyone else! I hate people who kick those who are already down, you obviously have no idea what it feels like to wake up every day feeling so empty and sore inside, like something is missing but you don't know what,or to look in the mirror and absolutely can't stand what you see, or the feeling of having no one to go to. Don't you dare judge how anyone else feels until you've felt the same.
DeleteEvery time I tell myself this is the day I shall end my life I always seem to find an excuse to continue living. I have this strange lingering hopefulness even within the numbness. I've attempted suicide countless times. And yes, overdosing can mess up a lot of your organs. My overdose messed up my digestive system; and I will have to live with that for the rest of my life. Cutting leaves scars (luckily that's not my problem)....what I'm getting to is, suicide is honestly not worth it. And I cannot tell you that, only you can tell yourself that. But it still remains true. When I look back, I'm so thankful that my suicide attempts were....well...attempts....and I survived to be a stronger person. In a few days, weeks...months........years, this will all be over...there will be a smile on your face. You will be somewhere else in your life and the hardships you faced yesterday was yesterday. It is gone..let it go; and find a reason to stay.
ReplyDeleteI'm actually considering killing myself because of my parents disowning me and calling me a disappointment and pathetic saying the same thing the bullies say making me believe them I am worthless so I might as well kill myself. How should I do it so they realise how they have affected me?
ReplyDeletedont fucking do it cause u wanna teach them a lesson and show them something.leave the house go to like aunt friend go sleep there a few days see how ur parents would react
DeleteHi me again same as above just wondering how old are most people here that are considering suicide? I'm 13 and already pushed to this point. It's sad and shocking isn't it? 13 and suicidal. How should I do it?
ReplyDeleteDude if your 13 wait.. life gets way worse, atleast at 13 you have a chance to improve. I'm old and basically drained, it's much worse.
Deletetrust me I'm 20 it just gets worse there is no point live ur life as much as u can before u end it you only got one ttime that's what I'm gonna do fuck it
Delete14.....
Delete43 and I love life. I just can't kill the people I have to deal with. So after asking people to kill me last year and trying again to start over; I have no choice but to kill myself. The people at Google and lying corrupt cops has shown me that life not worth living in the world they've created. My only regret is not taking my life before now. Death is better than dealing with Google and dishonest people.
DeleteYou shouldn't. You would do better if you live life happily. I know it´s very hard for someone in your conditions to think about this, but there is allways a way (and a main one) to be happy and it is to bring happiness to others. I sujest you to look forward, study hard and fight for your knowledge (that would come in usefull in your future, as you certainly already heard), be kind to your fucking parents and some day, when they regret themselves, apologise them (that's how you will make them realize how they have affected you). With the bullies, I don´t know what to say. They´re childish and they will slowly disappear from your life, as you keep being happy. Please, consider this option and don´t forget, who wrote this to you was a 15 years old boy who simply wants to help
ReplyDeleteI agree but when your dead you have no stress no one to tell you how disgusting you are or how much they hate you.
DeleteIt's weird to me that ppl so young want to kill themselves. Atleast go through college and your 1st couple jobs to realize life still sucks, heck most nerds and bullied kids in high school turn it around and the popular kids end up not being sht. Most of my life sucks because of things I did in the past. But still it sucks. It sucks so much I'm actually surprised I've never tried to kill myself yet. I think smoking weed has kept me alive over the last 2-3 years because my life has progressively gotten worse. Weed helps me focus on other sht. I'm actually amazed its not promoted more for treating depression (I guess the government would rather use it to arrest black ppl). What's crazy though is I genuinely think Im destined to kill myself and that I just haven't yet. If ppl were me for a week they'd want to kill themselves surely. Every day sucks. Its like ive dug and impossoble hole to get out of. I'm just wondering, there has to be a painless cheap method to killing yourself. I've considered faking suicide and moving to another country too, I think I'm actually gonna do that cuz I feel like I'm invincible sometimes. I've never had a near death experience, I've never even been in a car accident. I feel like Id awkwardly survive any suicide attempt and amazingly my life would be even worse.
ReplyDeleteAnyways guys hang in there cuz I'm sure your life isn't as bad as mine. Like I'll put money on that. If ur bullied fuck bullies they're not sht. Be in debt with a cheating wife, underpaid asf working almost every day. Fertile asf for no fcking reason got damit, paying child support at 23. Failed startup that put me into even more debt. I think the most frustrating thing is working relentlessly on something and getting no results.
Lol if u actually read this congrats. Don't kill urself unless your life is worse than mine! If it's worse let me know if it worked!
I'm not a kid I'm 51. In constant pain from injuries and chronic pain. Children have turned against me. Don't have enough money to live much longer. Will 200 .5 milligrams of flexiril and a few shots of vodka make me die?
ReplyDeleteNo, sorry that wont do it. Mostly cause kidney or liver damage
DeleteLook if you a 13 or 16 or whatever, you seriously will have more things to enjoy. Life can turn around. A good reason to kill yourself is not because your parents are over strict/protective or they don't approve of you. I'm not judging I'm here for the same reason everyone else came, we want to end it. However, I am in my 30's suffer from mental illness, medications don't work. My job is shit, my apartment is shit, I have no real friends, I'm a hot ass mess physically and emotionally and I'm so crippled by mental illness and some weird physical illness, that doctors can't figure out but keep testing me for, that my life is worthless. For you teenagers out there, the teenage stuff can and usually does get better. Not to mention your death could really impact the people you go to school with (who aren't shit heads) and the people that care about you (they're out there trust me). Just try and put off considering suicide until you actually come in to full adulthood, I'm not saying you don't know pain and suffering, but as much as teenage years are brutal, many people recover.
ReplyDeleteI'm 12 years old and I hate my life so bad I tried to overdose but my little sister wouldn't let me do that so my only hope is for life to get better one day. I have two sisters a small and an older one I'm in between and my dad calls my little sis his baby and my older sis his princess well then what am I chopped liver
DeleteDon't ever try drugs or you will be here. It is the best and worst thing you will ever do. I'm at my all time low and cant get anything so i'm here. Heroin is fucking evil!
ReplyDeleteYessss I'm a heroine addict and I'm withdrawing bad, can't do this I'm so done
DeleteYou still with us?
DeleteNintendo mini gave me a reason to keep going
ReplyDeleteHi, My name is jack and my best friend has bullied me for being fat all my life should, I just take a shank to ma neck like, or should i end it by getting lit af? and suggestions on how to end it lit thanks <3, reply quick i dont think ill be here longer
ReplyDeleteKill yourself you fucking waste of oxygen.
DeleteIm going to put a brick on my accelerator in my car and drive it through my corner shop window with me in it ....
DeleteI am only 11 1/2 years old but these way to kill myself is really good at some point i might use some of these in the future
ReplyDeleteI am only 11 1/2 years old but these way to kill myself is really good at some point i might use some of these in the future
ReplyDeleteI think i am ready to let go and end all this pain. If my family understood things might be different. Its just sad that it has to come to this. I used to be a happy person but life just tore me appart. I dont have any set plan but i am not coming back to read any replies. Just know that there will be one less person in the world soon
ReplyDeleteI need help. I don't have a telephone, I want to talk to somebody. I am alone.
ReplyDeleteOn Christmas day, at four in the morning, I learned that my fiance is in Love with another man. I had my whole life set up about being with her. I want to kill myself today. I had moved far past thoughts of suicide. I'm so confused and alone right now, and I thought myself a pretty strong dude. Please, tell me that there is someone out there. I can't do this alone.
Hi
DeleteOne of the messages here are mine. Believe me not the good ones but rather the ones looking for ways. If you want to talk to someone on the point where you are, just talk to me
My gmx is sunshinetea
DeleteLeave your info. I want to talk
DeleteI am so sorry for what you are going through. I myself feel lost and alone. I havent felt the love of anyone since I was 16 when my parents shipped me off to military school.My mother suffers from an untreated mental disorder that causes her to relentlessly attack me. My father does not have the slightest idea of who I really am and has never made an effort to know me. When I returned from military school I got my own place at 17 afer being unable to deal with my mother. I began working all the time and going to college on my scholarship from the military school. I got money any way I could. I became addicted to serious drugs and everything began to fall apart. One of my best friends wrecked his car and has been in jail for half a year. I am unable to make money anymore the way I used to. I got kicked out of the house I was renting. I had no choice but to go back to my parents house where I get told that this is not my home, im just a guest here.I am told daily that I am worthless. I am unable to take the pain anymore from everything that has happened to me. I had everything and I lost it. The constant mistreatment from my parents makes me want to blow my brains out. I am 18 with serious gun and drug charges now. I do not know what to do anymore. I feel empty. When I look in the mirror I do not know who I see. I have so much love to offer and I dont know whats wrong with me. I need help.
DeleteI am begging you, please just someone talk to me. Please.
ReplyDeletewhat's good in the hood
DeleteI have never been so alone in my life. All of my friends are friends with her, and the ones that aren't are in jail or something, I can't reach them on facebook, I've been fired from my job because of the fight that happened, it's winter, so I have nowhere to go, my family is still celebrating Christmas, the roads are closed, I'm stuck here and she might just start hitting me again. If anyone sees this, I nee a helpful word. My name is Aaron Giesbrecht. I need help.
ReplyDeleteMost nights I drink myself to death so I don't cry myself to sleep and so I'm not able to kill myself and also afraid of doing it because I know it would ruin my mam.. imagine going through this every day trying but can't
ReplyDeleteIt's not depression that's doing this it's unresolved trauma.
ReplyDeletePersonally, have been thinking about it for a while now I have decided on 2 at the same time to make it as painless and effective as possible. I am considering to put myself at a point where if I fall off...I will hang myself. Then get lots of strong prescription drugs and take that. Wait for normal unconsioness, fall and hang. You cannot vomit and all will work
ReplyDeleteTo Aaron Giesbrecht. LETS TALK, the previous letter you saw from Anonymous was actually from me. So believe me, if you are in a place like that. You are not alone. JUST write and write to ABC123
ReplyDeleteAnd you know what....this time I will at least do something good for the ones left behind. For my wife I am still thinking about the letter but for the rest (family ect, mother, farther) THIS will be there.
ReplyDeleteI know, people always ask "WHY did he do it?". If you cannot think that after loosing my work and my income ect, I am going to get to a point like this. Then there you know now.
And then I know, people always say "I would have given everything I have, every last penny, to bring him back!!!"
That something is only something that it true when you are gone, while you are still there, everyone feels, just live with it, a lot of people were there before you!!"
So there they have paragraph one
Hi
ReplyDeleteWell I am serious, this might be some of the last ones as I am not fucking around here. Already decided how, beginning on other parts now. It is nice to talk to other people who are at this point as well as I am sure they are the ones who really understand how it is inside, close to the end.
Lets talk, please I want to, and I will listen as well.
address I just opened considerit@yahoo.com
Again this morning.........I actually told my wife "I don't think I can take it any further, it is time to just stop everything" and the answer again is "STOP being such a baby and rather work!"
ReplyDeleteI am getting closer....I even had a look last night about which tablets, where to get them and how to tie the ropes.
PLEASE...if someone also like to talk, just reply............I think people in my situation talks easier as they understand.
Even i want to die. Fed up of this useless life. AM 43 and feel life is useless and waste and a burden. pls suggest an easy and quickest way to end my misery. I really want to die.
DeleteMight as well get some chloroform and stand beside a pool. Seems painless.
ReplyDeleteI want to die. The man i loved threw me out of his lfe like I meant nothing. The career I worked so hard for has slipped out of my hands. My parents hate me. I am so tired I just want this pain to stop, its clawing inside me. I can't live like this anymore. I feel like such a failure. I just want to die atleast that would be something i'll do as per my own will.
ReplyDeleteSo I see people getting mad, making jokes and others giving real advice for what some are actually looking to do. Whoever of us wants to end our suffering probably doesn't even care about the jokes or the mad comments because we don't care to live anymore. We might even laugh a few last times. Honestly, some of us have made our mind up regardless of what ideas anyone has, what jokes are made or what suggestions are given. Those of you who do not wish to end things might be better off on another site and hopefully you all live a happy and fulfilling life.
ReplyDeleteI get you man... I didn't even got mad, I was like, "This dude seems like he's having fun.. good for him, anyways it all sucks *scrolls looking for responses on how to die*"
Deleteplease send the easiest way to die!!
ReplyDeleteYou guys. i know that its pretty sad for trying to kill yourself. i know how it feels. Im only 11 years old and i want to die quick. No one likes me and no one believes in me. Anyone have suggestions on how to kill myself without anyone noticing. No cutting and such. Any ideas?
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteAm i the only one here that really wants to suicide?
ReplyDeleteWe're two then...
DeleteNo,i did too. You dont feel anymore,you dont sleep,you just think about how to die.
DeleteI am 10 and i got over these suicidal thoughts myself--no antidepressants,no telling my parents..nothing.
I still feel worthless sometimes but you need to remember- someone out there loves you. Trust me. Maybe they dont show it,but they do.I know that few people get how it feels... but im telling you. Stay. Dont leave,please. There is always a reason to stay alive...always.
Just dont leave.
Somebody needs you.
i have lost all my savings and my teeth need fixing, the estimate my dentist gave me
ReplyDeleteis 5000 dollars. Yes I brush and floss my teeth twice a day. I don't use drugs. leagel problems, finacial problems, family estrangement. All these problems I can't bear. I must commit suicide.
Are you still here
DeleteI have been in bed for 2 days now trying to get the courage to kill myself. I have been depressed for 21 years and I am soooooooo tired. My husband doesn't know what to do so he just ignores it!!!!!!!!!HELP
ReplyDeletelife can inspire one to not want to co exist anymore and i dont blame you, the way the world is designed, we really dont stand a chance, the best advice i'd recommend is to go out fighting, take out someone like a political figure who is of significant importance. the world conspires against us and we need more die hard revolutionists to push the grid forward. I was 12 when the columbine massacre unfolded, those two shooters were like gods to me, they made me realise i wasnt alone and it is perfectly fine to feel worthless and a nobody. im 29 now, a bit more educated and have knowledge that your real enemy isnt yourself but the oppressive system that designed to enslave you. all the garbage and consumerism on television has moulded us to be a huge unsure piece of mess. if there is anyone out there to kill, that's the secret organisations that work against us behind our back. set yourself free, rage war against the machine and save that last token on someone of a higher significance. you'd go down in history and be well remembered notoriously and infamous. stay well my children,
ReplyDeleteRegards
Trenchcoat mafia 666
I don't have any real friends, my fiance loves me and I love him so much but I don't want him to live his life taking care of me and ruining his life because I'm not gonna get better, I'm gonna still depressed even though he thinks I will get better, my parents have a lot of money spending because my mom has cancer, my siblings hate me, I didn't choose well my career and I hate every day, I have no time because I'm a very busy person and I hate how anorexia is taking control over me and my life again. I am so tired of fighting, I just wanted to end it all but as I am a coward I am really scared of it being too painful, doing it wrong or leaving a mess. My brother tried suicide last year, I thought I'd change the way I see that, when you see somebody you love hurting him/herself but it didn't, I just want to die even more... I don't know what kind of help I'm looking for, for somebody to tell me everything's gonna be okay or for somebody to tell me how to kill myself effectively...
ReplyDeletePlease go inpatient for the anorexia. You have a beautiful cat btw. You can beat ed and anorexia. My family has fallen apart. My daughter has anorexia bc of siblings abusing her. How could I not have known? I am their mom. I had NO IDEA. Now I find out she suffered for over 10 years before becoming anorexic. I have always had many problems. Now this. She has been in rehab for ED for over 10 years since the abuse ended. I can't afford rehab although I know I need it badly. I am trying to hold on for her.I have tried overdosing by they got me to ER to fast.I want to go home. And sit at Jesus's feet.
DeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDelete...
ReplyDeleteTor makes me want to kill myself, help
ReplyDeleteTor???
DeleteThese last 14 years of my life have been shit, im runnin and im gonna punch down anybody who tries to stop me
ReplyDeleteMy wife died 4 years ago after 23 wonderful years of marriage. I tried 50 depakote and some other pills, all I got was 9 days in hospital. I really need some help here.
ReplyDeleteSo fucking tired of living. All that goes through my head 24 - 7 is taking my life. The pain of living outweighs the pain of dying. So I say goodbye.
ReplyDeleteI am about to commit suicide, nobody will care but i am only 15 years old. my life has been lived without my real birth parents for 12 years :) the only thing i will regret leaving behind is my dog. goodbye.
ReplyDeleteGood by crew wold
ReplyDeletegood buy cru warld
DeleteThis was supposed to be informative. Instead another b.s. sitr
ReplyDeletePlease people send me a tip that will definitely work.
ReplyDeleteim 35 soon.
ReplyDeleteone of my earliest memories was when i was in grade school. i had a hard time through school.. always in trouble in some way.
my memory tunes in to this day when a teacher (who was in tears) and asking me why. because id told her then, at like 5 years old that i wished i was dead. I have been miserable AS LONG AS I CAN REMEMBER. only for a short time was i actually happy before i fucked it up all by myself. (Kristi i STILL miss you and you were the only good thing in my life to date)
so after analyzing the fact that i am in a world of shit. luckily fat and out of shape, as well. i get to live off the state because i fuct up my brains having fun getting high and in the meantime my pal (who would give you his shirt gets fooled into marring a girl in order to get her a green card.
life if an unfair joke of a whore.
my family is a bunch of mindless yups who for the most part are very judgemental and had their lives handed to then while my immediate family is shameful for me to even think about. Not only would they probably not even be able to afford to burn&urn me(did i just come up with that)
on top of that and much more I hate all of you.. nothing personal but us humans are capable of heinous acts of horror, myself included.
I also want to write a pre-fucyourself note to whom ever has an issue with what i wrote. You are among the ones i hate most
For someone genuinely looking for a way to die having read every article in every method so far. It's funny to see some people taking this lightly. It makes things seem a little better. Not like the problems are gone. Been thinking about suicide almost as long as I've been alive but this is the last point. So far leaning of a tall building is the way you go. A shame this article isn't more detailed. And don't hate the gentlemen passing through takes a whole lotta shit for someone to Google suicide in passing. After all this is like the 8th page in Google. Unless they didn't check out the rest.
ReplyDeleteTook me awhile to get me here but I think I reached the rockbottom.
ReplyDeleteI want to die in a place that nobody would fucking see my corpse. Fuck this world ruled by darwinism.
gays i am 12 y/o and i am concidaring kermitting sueing side, advice?????//?/
ReplyDeleteHopefully this is fast and I hope I won't be scared to end my life. I'll probably do the medication overdose
ReplyDeletehey umm i want to end it so bad but when i read this i kinda started to relise that i dont need to do it i lost my dad and my best grandfather in the world i have beein thinking of this for like 2 years and i have beed cuting me to tho and cuting yourself is painfull i feel like the blood is pain and when i do it i feel like the pain is going out
ReplyDeleteWhy not just weighted drowning? Wear long pants with high socks tuck your pants into the socks and staple them. then just pour rocks or weights into your newly made bucket and then just legs first off a pier? I may do that now that im typing it out.
ReplyDeleteThat was too much...
ReplyDeletelife doesn't have a point, if there's is death what's the point in living, death is the end and that's it they're nothing stronger than it, i don't see the point of being alive if i'm dead i don't have face the factors i have to go through and plus i dont know anything happing because im not living, i dont have consciousness to perceive things, my body doesnt even function, death is death, there is no afterlife, that it... nothing and all want to be, dead i hate being bullied, i hate the disrespect i get from people,i hate my parents because their arseholes and they dont understand anything, nothing to look up for,im alone,no money,no opportunities to do stuff i wish i could do, i hate the fact that money rules people, i hate my existence, i always feel sad and depressed,no one understands me,i hate the fact they say your life is full freedom but it aint thats a lie,there such thing as law and enforcement,where all ruled but in a democratic manor which atleast better than a dictorshop,i never have say,and i realize how does anything seize to exist in the first place and ive felt like this the most of mt life so only way to counterfeit is the end my life that it i want to fucking kill myself that all i fucking want maybe i would be better off!
ReplyDeleteRelease carbon monoxide in a closed room. Take sleeping pills but not too much. Just go to sleep. You will never wake up. That is the easiest and the best way to die I think. I am planning on it. Just need to get carbon monoxide gas and I will be good to go. See you all guys later.
ReplyDeleteDeath is also the part of life. They say - in death, you are truly at peace. So I am just gonna skip the hard part and gonna find my peace. Thank you all.
ReplyDeleteI think suicide is a murder. Suicide is a effect and Society is the cause. Society mentally pressurized the people to live upto their expectations. When suicide occurs i.e effect the society blame that person. Its simple the world is controlled by rich and govt. people who don't even care about individual feeling. They just want u to live life like they want not like u want. Freedom&democracy is the biggest lie created by rich in 1750s and till now everything is revolving like cycle. They just wanted to trap people and they succeed in it.for example 1% population controls 50% world money. same applies for happiness,and other things. so these people are the cause of Povertyand unhappiness. Suicide is just a brave cry against these people who nobody listens.
ReplyDeleteu can mail me on - icreator6@gmail.com
me too i want to end my life. i am a bad person, i do always bad things. people think that i am always bad and doing nothing. i am not important to them. i always fail them, i have enemies. they keep pushing me away. i feel that i am not important, and worthless. my family is not proud of me. and no one cares about me. no one will ever care and love me for who i am because i am nothing.
ReplyDeleteMe too I just wish to die nobobnobody loves me everyone at school hates me
DeleteI get want to fucking die today I would I a new iPhone7 the new cuz I was I was randomly chosen to get the new one and be one of the testers and my mom didn't allow me too I don't care how I did I just want to die they don't show that they love me at all so I going to kill my self no matter what
ReplyDeleteSo people i want to kill myself to but im not going to because im only 11and I want to explore the world and god put us here for a reason but if u really want to kill urself and its been there for a while kill urself. God put it there for a reason so go kill urself
ReplyDeleteWhat ze fuck did you just fucking say about me, you verdammter Jude? I'll have you know I graduated top of mein class in ze Hitlerjugend, and I've been involved in numerous secret Gestapo raids in Berlin, and I have over 300 confirmed executions. I am trained in gorilla gassing and I am ze top sniper in ze entire Wehrmacht. You are nothing to me but just another race traitor. I will wipe you ze fuck out with precision ze likes of which has never been seen before on this Reich, mark mein fucking words. You think you can get away with saying zat scheiße to me over ze Internet? Think again, arschloch. As vee speak I am contacting mein secret network of spies across Deutschland and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for ze storm, blödel. Ze storm zat wipes out ze pathetic little thing you call your life. You're fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and zat's just with mein machinenpistole. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed kampf, but I have access to ze entire arsenal of ze Wehrmacht forces and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable arsch off ze face of ze Reich, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy blitzkrieg your little "clever" kommentar was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying ze price, you verdammter dummkopf. I will shit Zyklon B all over you and you will drown in it. You're fucking dead, kiddo.
DeleteThere aint no easy way to die I think
ReplyDeleteIt wouldn't be easy to die either now or after years why do I wait
ReplyDeleteI wanna die. No one cares for me.
ReplyDeletehttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q2tqKCoS2-w
DeleteHow to easily kill yourself...
ReplyDeleteGo out on the road where you know that long heavy load trucks pass at a relatively slow pace...
Look for one long vehicle...
You'll see that it's easy to lay down under the truck after the first set of wheels have passed,and just wait seconds for the 2nd set of wheels to crush your head instantly ..
There is no way of missing important parts of the brain, unlike guns where u might survive and live disabled...
I had insomnia during the last three months and i thought i was gonna live like that my whole life,and it was just unbearable... And just as i was thinking about killing myself, i got meds from the doc,which finally worked
..
What I'm trying to say is,..wait and see,things will get better...
Do you ever think of reincarnation?
What if you came back in a worst situation??
If u ever feel down,look for this guy..
==> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q2tqKCoS2-w
Please copy the link given above...
ReplyDeleteSee how life sucks...
At least *you* have the chance to say..i wanna commit suicide...some people don't have that priviledge
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ReplyDeleteOp is a fucking retard. Guns are 82.5% effective and that accounts for morons who shoot themselves in the chest. A bullet to the head fired with a shotgun is 99% effective. Do your research your fucking dumbass.
ReplyDeletesick and tired everything will get better....I doesn't I want to it. Quici, Cheap, Effective ideas appreciated ASAP ASAP ASAP
ReplyDeleteI'm considering killing myself too, just looking for a way to do it. Cant bear people mistreating me and talking to me like I'm nothing!
ReplyDeleteWell... honestly I have no idea where or how....to start....I've always had depression; PTSD, anxiety....now that being known; I've been raped; abused; been broken by my mother.... years later still at it...kinda got worse actually...heh my mother dies by suicide....I buy a car get ready to go back to school and work i SHIT YOU NOT get slammed with a rare neurologic disease called stiff man syndrome or aka stiff person syndrome....I've managed to crush my spine....and break my femur in a single spasm....of course I got surgery and all that....I can't walk my husband despise me, hah I mean he closes the bedroom door while I sleep in the living room! So if I was to have a good spasm I'd asperate and choke on my own vomit because I become paralyzed and unable to move but fucking hell I always seem go only have good spasms around him where he can force my head down.....just my fucking luck....I mean it can't get... It can't get any worse than this...I'm going to, I'm going to slowly become paralyzed while being fully aware of what's going on but unable to move or go to the bathroom or talk or chew...so I'm going to be tube fed and yay....I mean I'm already having problems with my lower half....so shit I'm halfway there!!! I have a brother who ripped my heart out s husband who called me crazy like my mother a 4yr old who shoved me out of her room and I got stiff and planked straight to the floor and had a spasm and she just grabbed the ds I took away and closed her door.....so no one would honestly miss me at all....problem is I can't FUCKING WALK.... So what would be the easiest for me....I'm constantly in pain!!!! One in a million.... One in a million....and it had to be me.. always is me.... every thing has been my fault up to even as I type this....I seriously want to go....but how I can't hang myself because I can't climb up a hair.....can't jump because I can't lift myself over a rail.....I can't really drown because my tub is too small....I guess I could try like leaning in to the point I can't lean back but that don't really seem possible......here's my absolute favorite part the knives are too high up and I've had my license revoked and I don't live in a tight area and someone from my apartment would see.....so in left with pills I thought about doing that too.....they on the bleeding fucking counter pushed all the way back so no matter how much I try to reach I can't!!! So please indulge me HOW HOW HOW PLEASE HOW!!!!!!!! I can't....I can't I'm always in pain always a burden....always just a waste of space and time....I need meals made for me so I just bother people....I take up their time...I can't take care of myself....it's so embarrassing.....can't even have sex....so what's the point....everyone would be better with a walking, functioning, happy person who could cook and clean and do everything... Yet I can't....I can't...no matter how hard I try I can't I fall alot or I'll fall asleep and can't even do a simple bed time story.. so what use an I...I'm fucking useless....I'm holding everyone back....job opportunities are being passed up because someone's gotta be here to " take care of me " so I just....I wanna do everyone a favor.... No more taking care of me, no more pre making my food, no more possibly wiping my ass or digging poop out because I can't do it....no more waking me to take my meds....no more job opportunities being passed....no more painful spasms that hurt...no more going to the hospital because I fell or I spazamed and possibly broke another bone...no more struggling to pay off the hospital bill.....I'd save everyone around me....no more having to pay thousands for my meds....no more getting poked month after month for my transfusion.....
ReplyDeleteSo...HOW?!
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ReplyDeleteIve tryed with all my might just to live.but yet i tell my self now its time to go.i thouht about killing my self much.as i get no satisfaction out of life.i cant find any thing worth staying for as ive tryed only to be let dowm harder. ive been here 42 years for notthing .she said once when you do that you can't come back. My thoughts are i dont want to come back there is nothing here for me. it will only tske 7mins
ReplyDeleteFor me to end my life vs. A life time of notthing ness