Deseret Industries

The Mormons and I go way back. WAY back.

My best friend growing up was a Mormon, and so I was exposed to all sorts of crazy ass cult-like behavior when I hung out with his family and friends (and they have some huge families). It really was a lot like that South Park episode about the Mormons. The families were always super tight, they were all way beyond nice and welcoming, everyone loved each other a lot, and, well, it was frickin' creepy how wholesome and adjusted and happy they were. Trey Parker and Matt Stone nailed that one. Don't get me wrong, I have MAD love for my friend's family. They were always so awesome to me.

Also, the more I learned about their religion, the more I realized how totally insane it is (but to be fair, pretty much all organized religions are insane to me - the books themselves mostly read the same and have some great lessons in them, but they always get distorted by megalomaniacs in organized form). Yes, I found my way into a couple of services. It always happened so serruptitiously. "Oh gee, look, we're on our way to service. Wanna join, and then we'll all go for ice cream?" "Oh, sure! I love ice cream! So, uh, what's all this about 3 different levels of heaven? And how many wives did Joseph Young have?" But really, I can't hate on people for being insanely happy, healthy, and well-adjusted... even if it is creepy. As long as they're not pulling any Warren-Jeffs-style polygamous pedo-incest shit they can do whatever they want.

But I digress....

Deseret Industries is the business arm of the Church of Latter Day Saints (aka LDS, aka the Mormons). They have a network of thrift stores all over the nation, presumably to collect vast sums of money from the unwashed heathens (me) and send it back to the mother-ship (Salt Lake City) to fund their diabolical plan to, uh, convert middle class white kids with brazen promises of ice cream and family game nights... and... again...

I digress...

So this outlet of Deseret Industries (aka the Beehive) has some insane deals. I came here based on the other reviews I read on Yelp, and they're pretty much 100% on point. There are some awesome finds here, and they cost, well, not much. I mean really. A gigantic 40+ ounce glass snifter for $1.75? That would cost a heathen at least $7 at the Goodwill. Not at the Beehive. (On a side note, the "beehive" thing is a little Borg-like). Tons of $.75 cent glassware? Word.

I found all sorts of insane steals in the glassware section alone. So much so, that next time I'm looking to do some thrifting fer realz (this run I was on a mission for specific items) I'll have to come and browse the stacks for a while...

...as long as that crazy-looking lady in the pilgrim dress and the bonnet stops staring at me.

Overall, I see the potential for amazing deals at this thrift store... who cares if my money is going to Salt Lake City? Back in the late 80's, some other heathen's money bought me ice cream once...