8

A FedEx Ad Featured The Comedy Gold Of Steve Irwin Dying

In a 2000 FedEx spot, Steve Irwin is bitten by a snake, but he's not worried because he's having the appropriate antivenin shipped over by FedEx. Then he's informed that they went with a competitor instead, whereupon he promptly dies, either because of the delay or from a brand-loyalty-induced outrage.

This could have been way worse; Irwin could have been stabbed by a stingray. It's still not comfortable to watch. Still, the ad never made much sense to begin with, given that Irwin's response to being bitten by what he says is the world's deadliest animal is to start talking about how great FedEx is. But it took on a dark irony when he was indeed killed by an animal in 2006. At least FedEx could present themselves as forward-thinking?

7

Lance Armstrong Boldly Asked Consumers "What Am I On?"

In 2001, Lance Armstrong was dominating bike racing thanks to good old-fashioned gumption and definitely nothing else. To celebrate his completely legitimate achievements, Nike ran an ad wherein Armstrong spits out pithy phrases like "This is my body, and I can do whatever I want to it" and "I can push it, study it, and tweak it" to mock critics who dared imply that innocent bicycle boy might not be entirely on the level.

He then says, "Everybody wants to know what I'm on," before answering with a call to action: "I'm on my bike busting my ass six hours a day. What are you on?" We guess it wouldn't have been as catchy if he said, "I'm on my bike busting my ass six hours a day, and also a shit-ton of human growth hormone! You should try it!"

Related: 6 Vintage Ads Companies Would Never Get Away With Today

6

A Snickers Commercial Joked About A Football Concussion

In the '90s, concussions in football were taken so seriously that the NFL put a rheumatologist in charge of studying them. That's the environment for this 1996 Snickers commercial, which features a player who, after taking a big hit, is put on the sideline because he now thinks he's Batman. And that's the joke. The inherent hilarity of head trauma has given him plenty of time to enjoy a mediocre chocolate bar.

Nowadays, of course, we know much more about the link between football, concussions, and long-term brain damage, and the NFL spends millions of dollars a year pretending to take it seriously.

5

Humble Oil Bragged About Melting Glaciers

In 1962, Humble Oil wanted to give consumers a sense of how much energy they were giving the world. They needed an eye-catching analogy. And, well, they got one.

Humble Oil"Here, we'll prove it. Everybody watch for the next 50 years."

4

The Duchess Of York Bragged About Outrunning The Paparazzi Before Diana Was Killed

In 1997, Sarah Ferguson was recently divorced from Prince Andrew and in need of money. As part of her burgeoning business empire, she became a spokeswoman for Weight Watchers. One ad featured Ferguson commenting that losing weight was "Harder than outrunning the paparazzi."

Weight WatchersHell of a lot safer, though.

3

Union Carbide Predicts Its Own Deadly Disaster

In 1984, a Union Carbide pesticide factory leaked toxic gas on the people of Bhopal, India, killing an estimated 15,000, injuring over 500,000 more, and becoming a likely suspect for the birth defects that still plague the region. It was one of the most devastating industrial accidents in history, and Union Carbide accidentally foreshadowed it in a 1962 ad.

Union CarbideWe guess the chemical pouring over a million fetuses would've been too much of a downer to run in National Geographic.

2

Gary Glitter Hocked British Rail's "Young Person" Railcard

In a late '80s attempt to increase ridership, British Rail raised the upper age limit for their cheaper Young Persons Railcard from 23 to 25. And to promote this savings bonanza, they turned to Gary Glitter.

British Rail"Now for this photo, give us a BIG smile. Really try to envision all the kids this is going to help."

1

The Justice League Teamed Up With Jared Fogle

In 2011, DC gave its least discerning comic book fans Subway Presents: Justice League. Over four installments, the Justice League teamed up with "Famous Fans" -- that is, celebrities with Subway endorsement deals. This included Giants defensive end Michael Strahan, boxer Laila Ali, and of course, the equally athletic Jared Fogle. In the fourth episode of this thrilling series, we see Jared and Ali wearing Subway shirts while spontaneously deciding to go to "Subway Restaurants" for lunch, because the comic hasn't decided whether they're employees or customers.

DC Comics"For his face, could you draw him in a way that looks friendly and innocent today, but will look like a menacing leer in the future?"