I had a date at Xmas. It was good (dining, gifts and a kiss) but since we are not yet in an exclusive relationship I am still chatting with other guys.
One Japanese guy I am chatting with and I have a bigger crush to sent me a merry xmas message. however he wrote "oh maybe you miss your homecountry tradition, here we do nothing for xmas ahah"
honestly this thing made me surprised and a bit angry because I am not a stupid gaijin, I know Xmas in Japan is like Valentine in Western world. and even for singles or families in Japan there are traditions like fried chicken.
do you think a Japanese guy who says "we do nothing for Xmas" is indeed strange/deceiving? is it beliavable he really ignores the romantic tradition? did he write like that because he is probably a cheapskate/aloof/loner who ignores this tradition? thank you
ps sorry for my bad English
I've gotten this same kind of comment about 10 times already from colleagues or others around me because I had to work this Christmas.
None of these people are romantically interested in me (or at least I hope, unless the staff and principal of my school all think they are dating me).
It's just acknowledgement that here in Japan, Christmas is not as big an event as back home, and a consideration that it might be harder on you to spend an important family holiday alone.
If you were to reverse the situation and say, talk to a Japanese person living overseas who was unable to celebrate New year's with their family, wouldn't you say something along the lines of "hey, sorry you couldn't spend new year's with your family, I hope you don't mind that in my country new year's is just an excuse to get drunk for young people and nobody else really celebrates it much".
Tbh it sounds like a weird conclusion to jump to from such an innocent comment, but I don't know you, your history, the guy, or how you interact with eachother, so I will try to reserve judgement. Sorry if my reply came across as negative.
Merry Christmas and I hope you have a happy end of the decade.
I hope it is like that because me and anyone else I know around my age (23-27) celebrated Christmas even after work either with lover or family... so I still felt Xmas atmosphere even if different from my homecountry. anyway thank you for sharing your experience and merry xmas and happy new year to you as well
Most Japanese people I know did nothing. Even I did nothing.
The only people I know who celebrated it were the foreigners from America who work as ALT's at the local schools.
Gotta try and be more forgiving of the culture of your host country and try not to judge everything through a lense of "it's not normal back home so it's not normal here" kind of thing. Let small comments be small comments and try not to overthink them.
instead here all my female friends both Japanese and foreigners did something. they are all between 23 and 27. as for my male friends, few of them said not to have done anything, other had a romantic date, other had a sort of xmas party with uni mates/colleagues. I do not expect Xmas to be like in Europe... but saying that all Japanese do not anything at all for Xmas sounds fake. there are many christmas illuminations, markets and the restaurant where I wad had many couples...
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Yes! And the pressure to play/buy the latest games is so unnecessary. A hobby shouldn't be stressful
you are right. i still have that pressure because I play also to enhance my Japanese language skills (majoring in Japanese)... but it is ridicolous to shame a fan who just played one or the first games.
Lol you could be fluent in Japanese or be an expert in a game series and inevitably a gamer/anime LVM will still "correct" you if you encounter enough of them 😑
yeah it happened to me a lot of times in the West. now in Japan instead I am meeting Japanese men who think I do not know anything about Japan though I am at grad school for Japanese studies and treat me like a child who needs to be taught... so it never ends lol
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Please tell me this is only in America. Please tell me in Europe, there is a lot more compassion. This "feel good" piece defends wage slavery. It should not be that fellow working class members have to give their own hard-earned sick days away.
actually a similar thing happened to Italy for a bus driver with cancer... his colleagues donated their paid sick days to avoid him losing the job and sick pay :(
I got hatfished a lot more than fatfished. balding men in their 20s lol. I no more accept dates with men who do not fully show a hatless picture and a no full figure picture. when I was young I was naive and did not figure men lied as the common narrative is that women lie...
Hatfished? Omg that's a thing? Lol
hatfishing is when a guy is bald/balding and hides it posting misleading pictures with hats to hide his baldness
misery loves company. better single than with a partner like hers
why almost everyone in their late 20s is getting bald and/or have a horrible beard?
I love long hair and no beard in a man. Think of J pop or Kpop idols or young Jared Leto... sob. I hate this hipster low effort trend.
same here. I would rather be single and childless than be married to a LVM cheapskate who makes me work even when with small children. My ex BF always said "even if we have kids you should work full time same hours as me otherwise it would not be fair that you have more free time than me" ...
I actually want to work less than 40 hours a week even if single and childless because due to chronic disease I am unfortunately weaker. Probably 30-35 hour if childless, 20-25 if with kids/sick parents. there is nothing bad in this.
what a cheapskate entitled loser...
Why not a jewel? a holiday? a branded handbag? or something related to a real hobby of hers? no, a roomba. omg.
also if you read the comments you will see many pickmeishas writing they also received a roomba and loved it... making it seem like she is entitled while she is just a normal woman who expected a gift for HER, not for the household...
Never send a gift to a man. Only give him a gift (and less expensive) for special occasions like B-day or Xmas and only after you received your gift first
That's why when women get sick men are 6 times more likely to leave them compared to when men get sick. I do not believe in unconditional love. The irony is that men complain women being shallow/not loving unconditionally. yet there are many LVM with loving pickmeishas, the opposite is much rarer.
Also worth adding that for women having families or partners living with them at home, it means doing most cleaning and caring duties when you are back from work. Your 4-5 hours ish of free times during weekdays consists in cooking then cleaning, washing clothes, ironing shirts, and all the task related to children care, i.e. you might have an hour or two of free time if lucky. Going down the pub after work is a luxury that most women can't afford, time-wise.
that is why I will never get married unless he is a high earner and I will work part time or be a SAHM
When you find "him", his masters will be delighted to have him on the payroll because he can have extra reasons to endure whatever his masters put him thru since he will need to support himself and a family.
If he is upper middle class he will deal with less problems. I would rather be single and childless than have kids in poverty. Birth rates are declining in the West because in fact, in the past one income from a 40-hour week was well enough to support a SAHM + 3 kids. Now it's impossible... even dual incomes with 60 hour week can not make it possible to have 3 kids in the West.
Better safe than woke. I saw many male "aupairs" bashing about discrimination. If almost all cases (around 97% if I am not wrong) of child sexual abuse is caused by men... of course there is nothing bad in prefering a female teachers. why putting children at risk?
I feel like male who like to work as teachers with small children are either pedo or very strange. not in a good way...
Yeah that's why they hate good looking 20s pop stars from NA or Korea
If I ever get married I would get married only to a high earning man so I can be a SAHM... and keep working a few hours (part time). Full SAHM is too risky and boring. But I would like to be a SAHM who works part time when the children are in school.
Sugarbabying is worse than being a SAHM, change my mind. You're reliant on a man for money, plus he can totally manipulate you since he's older, and you just might be found dead in a lake because you 'accidentally' drowned.
Yeah. Also most sugar daddies do not pay rent/food, they mostly pay for travel or jewellery. Also, marriage has at least alimony. I would not do it though I got some proposals which I turned down, because I prefer being working in other fields related to my studies and hopefully become a SAHM in the future
I will NOT date men who:
- Watch porn and hentai
- Do not have a decent career. Must be a good career for a provider role. Example: lawyer, doctor, architect, designer, engineer, programmer, accountant etc. NO teachers. NO dead end jobs. NO models/actors/DJ/personal trainers
- Do not have at least a bachelor's
- Follow Instagram models/influencers, thots on Switch
- Are too short for me (he must be at least 5'7); Are overweight; Are bald; Are unatrattactive. Must be at least a 6/10
- Are single dads
- Do not have at least similar hobbies to mine. My hobbies include traveling in West European and East Asian capitals where I love visiting museums, exploring temples/churches/typical places etc., dining out, some anime and videogames (innocuous one like Pokemon and Final Fantasy. NO LOLICON SHIT.), art and design, fashion, taking care of plants and animals. NO picky eaters
- Are culturally illiterate
- Are hooligans like (if he likes sport it is ok, but not in a obsessed way)
- Do not have any social media like Facebook or Linkedin, shady about information. If after becoming official they do not post a picture with me clearly saying she is my GF, it's over
- Do not offer. If he splits 50/50 I will never see him again and block him
- Are not tidy and groomed. No dirty men.
- Do not have his own place to live. No men who still live with family or roommates.
- Have mental illness; Have a criminal past; Have STDs; Do not want to use condoms
- Are alcoholic. A few drink sometimes is ok but no hangovers/partying. No drugs.
- Are too jealous OR the opposite; Are too cool and aloof
- Are from a dangerous family, are strongly religious
- Do not believe in marriage and engagment ring, do not give decent gifts
- Travel / traveled to SEA alone (big risk of sexual tourism)
- Want a SAHM but at the same time expect her to keep working full time even after having kids.
- Want to live in the countryside or in a dangerous country. I am a city girl and I will keep living in big cities in Europe, East Asia or NA.
- Want more than 2 kids
- Hate animals
I like some anime and videogames like Ghibli, Makoto Shinkai, Pokemon, Final Fantasy. I do not say it unless I am with close friends becase it is a creepy men magnet.
This is a really hard read, but I am absolutely not surprised. I have said this before: the reason why men aren’t openly having sex with children is because it’s illegal. But even that doesn’t stop them. They just get their fix online. It’s truly disgusting.
in fact many men engage in sex tourism to have sex with children. so horrible. they should get arrested when they go back to their homecountry
that is why I will never date again a teacher. my ex teacher gave me creepy vibes (plus he was always asking 50/50 on every date even when I did not have a job). I feel like a man who wants to work solely with small children has surely something wrong.
Genuine curiosity. me and my best friends are born in 95 and 94. We are both attending grad school.
In Italy, Millennials was used improperly for many years as a word. Still, nowadays Millennials is used for early-mid 30s people.
We people in mid 20s are technically between Millennial and Gen Z generation? or are we a full Gen Z?
I can not relate to many Millennial things yet I can say the same of Gen Z.
When Twin Towers happened I was 6. I did not realise anything (I mean the meaning of the attack) until the beginning of junior high during an anniversary. My first Pokemon game was Platinum. When 2008 happened, I was just entering senior high (here senior high is very long. from 14 to 19 years old). I graduated from my bachelor in 2018 and currently doing grad school now after a gap year, graduation year is expected to be 2021
I do not feel like a Millennial because indeed my counterpart who is now 30-36 had a very different experience. they were entering or just graduating university when 2008 happened... filling the last few decent jobs left. gone for good. some of them in fact managed to get one of the few last decent, 9-5 jobs.
the younger we are, the more flexibility they ask... most of us mid 20s in Italy can dream for a 9-5 job.
no one of my bachelor degree friends born between 94 and 96 managed in fact to get a decent job like older Millennials who are now mid 30s did. most of them got service job paid shit or nothing at all (in my country we do not have student debt problem at least... but still, if you are always jobless...)
decent office jobs and teaching here now all require a master (while before they required only a bachelor... when mid 30s millennials when early or mid 20s just out of uni) and that is why I am back in grad school.
Worse then 2008? I have a hard time believing it.
in Italy yes.
same here. not only economy is much worse, but also dating. we have ghosting, dating apps, incels.... 30 years ago the economy was good and basically any man who worked could afford a middle class life style with a SAHM or part time worker mom + 2/3 kids. now it is a luxury
I am one of the last Millennials/first zoomer (between generations) and I feel so bad living in this historical period. Boomers especially women were very lucky. As you said in this historical period we also face kink normalization and massive porn use... so of course many men are either incel or fuckboys.
yeah they all want a SAHM who keeps paying all the bill 50/50 and also bounce immediately backs to her pre pregnancy body with no free time and money lol
One time on twitter a dude did a “pay a trans person lunch today” and wokebros actually sent money to venmo accounts. It was so weird.
Just that. The world is unfair, please give me money.
if women ask for a payed lunch they get called gold diggers... but if it is done by a MtF it is good and woke?
I am a Southern European studying in Japan as an exchange student. I am currently at university accomodation which thank goodness is female only in my case. but many of my female university colleagues are either in mixed dormitories or mixed sharehouse (where you have a private room but everything else is all in common)
what are your thoughts of these kind of living accomodations?
I am aware Japan is safer compared to US or Europe (like for robberies and so on) but weirdos and stalker men do exist also there. So I would honestly avoid to live in a mixed sex sharehouse. I said so when talking about our living arrangements and I was called a prude, that many girls managed to find a good BF living in that kind of place... but to me it does not sound worth the risk. I would like to hear some other opinions / experiences about it. thank you
I wouldn't want to live with a bunch of strange men just because of how messy and unhygienic they are.
me too but unfortunately almost all the private rooms for foreigners in Tokyo are in mixed gender sharehouses. few ones are female only. apartment for foreigners are also very expensive... I got lucky but still the commuting is long
Yeah you did say you were staying in Japan. On the plus side Asian men don't have awful body odor. They are also more likely to be clean in my experience. I exclusively date Asian men and have dated a lot of Asian students. Their dorms were always clean. I ended up with the single extremely messy one I met, though. Don't think I could deal with it if I didn't love him and I wasn't a SAHM.
I am aware of that as I also dated Japanese. but mixed sharehouses are all 50%foreigners 50% Japanese so it will not be just Japanese.. and many Western men who go to Japan are weirdos lol
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I am currently studying in Tokyo as an exchange student and I was wonder if any of you could recommend me an agency/website for female only sharehouses in Tokyo. currently at the dorms but a bit far from uni so I would like to try something closer...
thank you so much
You know, Tokyo is such a tiny little area, and it only has 1 university, so of course we'll be able to suggest an agency that deals only with that small small area by that distinctive and unique university so you can find something closer... Have you looked in Okutama?
lol the area would be Shinjuku. I want to live near that around Yamanote
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