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Jokes you have played on people

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  1. raymondlin
    My friend sak me this in Uni, i didn't fall for it but loads of people I've asked have.

    Try this

    Ask someone to say Silk, Silk, Silk

    And then straight away ask them What do Cows drink?

    90% of people will say Milk !

    I then normally ask them really? and they often said yes and argue with me that Cows really drinks milk![​IMG]

    or

    Step 1: Approach an attractive female, preferably one who is 'well endowed'.
    Step 2: Tell female the startling fact that "only 15% of women can touch their elbows behind their back".
    Step 3: Stand back and enjoy view as female attempts to see if this is true.

    Just don't blame me if you get a slap [​IMG]

    or (I never done this personally)

    Phoned up a friend at another department and said you're gonna get a phone-call in a minute, just go along with it. Then put a 'while you were out' note on a colleagues desk asking them to phone Phil McHunt.

    They come back and start dialing. the conversation should goes something like this:

    "Hello, is Phil there"
    "Sorry we've got a couple of Phils here. Which one were you after"
    "Erm, Phil McHunt"
    "Sorry it's a bit noisy here, what was the name again?"
    Louder"McHunt, Phil McHunt. He's just phoned." [​IMG]

    The last one is a bit rude though.
     
  2. ai0tron
    I used to randomly try lame ass pick up lines on girls

    Lets see, here are some lines I have actually used with actual replies.

    ME: I bet you could suck the chrome off a trailer hitch.
    HER: Wanna find out?

    ME: Hi, I'm milk, I do your body good.
    HER: Sorry I'm lactose intolerant

    ME: I'm on a secret FBI mission to find yout G spot
    HER: My what?

    ME: The word of the day is legs, lets go home and spread the word.
    HER: GO to hell.

    ME: Is that a mirror in your pocket?
    HER: What?
    ME: Because I could really see myself in your pants
    HER: Laughter

    ME: Hi lets ****.
    HER: (Jokingly) Ok.

    ME: Nice ****.
    HER: I know.

    ME: Are you tired?
    HER: Huh?
    ME: ARE you tired??
    HER: uhh, no.
    ME: Because you've been running through my mind all night.
    HER: giggle

    The only pick up line I ever improvised:

    ME: Well, I guess it's time to go home and get laid.
    HER: Whos the lucky girl?
    ME: *confusion* You are?



    Pick up lines never work, but they create some of the funniest moments fo silence I have ever expereinced.
     
  3. raymondlin
    I've heard/tried worst then those you've said.

    ME: You look loney.
    HER: OK......

    It hardly ever works, but pulled a few times from it as it lead to a conversation.
     
  4. dngl
    ME: Do you work at subway?
    HER: Why?
    ME: 'Cause you just made me a foot long!

    I actually used that one at school and had to wear a paper bag over my head for the rest of the day...
     
  5. Enigma
    Are we turning this thread into "Pick-up lines you have used"? If we are, I have a few.
     
  6. raymondlin
    You can post the chat up line if you want but I started the thread in jokes mainly. Still, tell us!
     
  7. skippy
    here's a pick up line i often use:
    <taps leg> you just think that's my leg.
     
  8. Enigma
    I'm like milk! I'll do your body good[​IMG] ...

    Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again?

    Thats a nice dress, it would look better on my floor[​IMG]

    Let me check your tag, yup, just aqs I thought, made in heaven.
     
  9. mbriant
    Good thing you guys have hands. Sheesh.

    Getting back to the joke thing, when I knew a buddy of mine was going on a date to a nice restaurant, (usually a first date) I would phone ahead and tell the reservation desk that my brother "so and so" would be arriving for dinner shortly, and could they please ask him to call home a.s.a.p. because his wife has gone into labour and that he should head over to the hospital immediately.

    That always went over well.
     
  10. Enigma
    Never said I've used any of em, (Wife would slap me)! But still laughed the first I heard them!
     
  11. Jeff Guidry
    If I held you against me, would you tell me I have a nice body?
     
  12. mbriant
    Actually, I believe it's "If I told you you had a nice body, would you hold it against me?"

    Hopefully that was a joke Jeff, otherwise I'd plan on a very long stretch of celibacy if I were you. [​IMG]
     
  13. Flasken
    >>>>>If I held you against me, would you tell me I have a nice body?


    >>>>>>Actually, I believe it's "If I told you you had a nice body, would you hold it against me?"


    Hahahaha
    [​IMG]
     
  14. Joe Bloggs Contributor
    Quote:

    Originally posted by raymondlin

    or (I never done this personally)

    Phoned up a friend at another department and said you're gonna get a phone-call in a minute, just go along with it. Then put a 'while you were out' note on a colleagues desk asking them to phone Phil McHunt.

    They come back and start dialing. the conversation should goes something like this:

    "Hello, is Phil there"
    "Sorry we've got a couple of Phils here. Which one were you after"
    "Erm, Phil McHunt"
    "Sorry it's a bit noisy here, what was the name again?"
    Louder"McHunt, Phil McHunt. He's just phoned." [​IMG]

    The last one is a bit rude though.



    I just don't get this one [​IMG] Is it something to do with the name, Phil McHunt? [​IMG]
     
  15. Joe Bloggs Contributor
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