How France became a rich hypochondriac

Name: Malade imaginaire.

Age: 222.

Appearance: By turns chic and dishevelled, debonair and nicotine-stained, coquettish and self-important. Chanel No 5 behind its ears, camembert on its breath.

Ooh-la-la! Could we be talking about France? Peut-être.

You forgot to mention baguettes. So what's with the "malade imaginaire"? That's how José Manuel Barroso likes to describe the country – as an "imaginary invalid".

Who is this Josie woman? It's José, and he's the president of the European Commission. He is, of course, alluding to Molière's famous comedy about a rich hypochondriac.

Of course. Barroso first used his "malade imaginaire" line to French MPs in 2006. He repeated it to the magazine L'Express in May 2013, and has just trotted it out again at the World Economic Forum in Davos.

Is this one of those gags that gets more side-splitting every time you hear it? Not obviously. Back in 2006, Barroso told French MPs that their country had every reason to feel confident, given its part in "dazzling global success stories" such as Airbus and Ariane.

Eh? Planes and rockets. Yet, he said, France persisted in complaining about its "malaise" or "melancolie". Last year he told L'Express that the country had an "extreme capacity for self-criticism".

The French, doing themselves down? That doesn't sound like them. They're not the only ones. As Canada's Globe & Mail put it recently: "France is in a funk. François Hollande is the most unpopular president in the history of French polling … Warnings about the country's economic decline have grown louder by the day … The wealthy are voting with their feet."

It's not all bad, then. But how do Barroso's speeches generally go down? Some of those MPs cried "Bravo!", apparently, while others opted for, "Scandaleux!"

I'd be confused too. Is it a compliment or an insult to be described as brilliant but self-pitying? Precisely. You know where you are when you're labelled "the sick man of Europe".

France again? Mais oui.

According to the Globe & Mail? Among others – such as our very own Guardian. Although Jacques Attali, former head of the European Bank for Reconstruction and Development, likes to claim the real "sick man of Europe" is Germany. The term has also been applied to Italy, Portugal, Greece …

Hahahaha. In your face, foreigners. Britain too, though that was back in the 1970s.

We got better, though, didn't we? For a while. It's not that long since economists were lamenting our "zombie economy".

That was just a blip on the way to sustained prosperity, wasn't it? Was it?

Er … You've gone very quiet. Are you feeling unwell?

Do say: "Do you need a loan?"

Don't say: "We could lend you our chancellor."

• This article was amended on 27 January 2014. Inaccurate references to Barosso's "malade imaginaire" quotes have been replaced.

Since you’re here...

... we have a small favour to ask. More people are reading and supporting The Guardian’s independent, investigative journalism than ever before. And unlike many new organisations, we have chosen an approach that allows us to keep our journalism accessible to all, regardless of where they live or what they can afford. But we need your ongoing support to keep working as we do.

The Guardian will engage with the most critical issues of our time – from the escalating climate catastrophe to widespread inequality to the influence of big tech on our lives. At a time when factual information is a necessity, we believe that each of us, around the world, deserves access to accurate reporting with integrity at its heart.

Our editorial independence means we set our own agenda and voice our own opinions. Guardian journalism is free from commercial and political bias and not influenced by billionaire owners or shareholders. This means we can give a voice to those less heard, explore where others turn away, and rigorously challenge those in power.

We need your support to keep delivering quality journalism, to maintain our openness and to protect our precious independence. Every reader contribution, big or small, is so valuable. Support The Guardian from as little as $1 – and it only takes a minute. Thank you.

Support The Guardian