joey ayoubVerified account

The financial reasons are just one reason among many for why I'm leaving. It all started the week I arrived in October of 2017. I arrived late because my visa was initially denied. Home office first cited my English, even though I got my MA with Distinction from SOAS in 2016.

They then cited my banking statement. So I obviously had to re-apply, which I did with the exact same documents, and I got approved. Great! I arrive in Edinburgh but because I arrived late I missed the deadline for paying the tuition fees in installments.

They literally told me that I should have paid the first installment even before getting my visa. As I didn't even know whether the home office would let me in the country, I couldn't pay.

Within the first two weeks of arriving, I was struggling to find a place to stay because I arrived late and most of the decent options were gone. None of that mattered to the University and so I had some 48h or so to pay half of my fees (instead of 25%,25%,50%).

We didn't have the money so I borrowed from my partner's family. Okay fine, that was solved. Moving on.

I finally do find a place. I had been meeting with my supervisor. Before continuing, I have to say that I don't blame her. She had her instructions. Anyway, she tells me that our meetings are obligatory and that if I miss them the University will notify the Home Office.

So obviously, I understood that this PhD experience is not going to be a pleasant one. But we had already spent a lot of money, and I didn't want it to go to waste. That was a big mistake on my part. I should have left that University before the 2nd payment.

But let's put the finances aside since that's not unusual in today's political climate and economy.

By early 2018, my PTSD felt like reminding me of its presence. I went to the University for help. You know, mental help is a big deal here. They want you to know they're doing a great job.

The 3 people I saw at different dates had no idea what to do or say other than tell me that my situation was complicated. Ok fine, I wasn't expecting them to know much. I go to the NHS and they put me on a 4 months waiting list. Ok fine. That actually did help.

In the meantime my GP prescribed antidepressants. They ruin my sleep so I stop taking them. I ended up self-medicating and smoking becomes the only way for me to cope. So at the age of 27 (2018), I became a smoker. Great. (I stopped last month)

But that's really not the main problem. The main problem was that I was lead to believe I'd get a scholarship. I ended up getting a "partial" one, which is doublespeak for "you pay slightly less than you would otherwise". So I had to find a job.

But there's a problem. I don't have one of those magical nationalities so I'm not allowed to work more than 20h a week because of the restrictions of the Tier 4 visa. But I did find a part-time gig. A second one.

(No I couldn't switch to a part-time PhD. The Home Office doesn't allow that)

In effect, I had a fulltime job and a fulltime PhD. The PhD had no classes and, because my jobs were online, I became very isolated with virtually no social life

But despite the indifference of this university, I presented half a dozen papers and got published four times. All of that was self-funded of course - hence the two jobs. Because f them. I believe in my topic and I know have something to offer.

The university generously offered 500£ or something a year for the trips I make representing them in front of other academics. I'm not just myself when I go to these things. I'm "Just Ayoub, University of Edinburgh". So I effectively worked for them without pay.

I self-funded two academic trips to the US, some 3-4 in the UK and one in Italy. I represented the University of Edinburgh in all of these places, in addition to the 30 or so articles I've written since 2017.

But don't worry, it gets better. The then-head of a fancy department named after a fancy billionaire told me that I might get a part-time big with them. Oh great, doing what? Well writing blog posts and stuff to make some 20 or so quid once in a while.

It's not over. The notorious Assadist conspiracy theorist Tim Hayward, who I'm told has tenure at the University of Edinburgh, officially complained about me. I was asked to meet with a head of department so I went to do that.

The head told me that the chemical massacre denier complained that I called him a fraud on Twitter. I called him a fraud because he told me that hundreds of Syrians thank him for his "work". My PTSD, btw, was because of Syria, & threats I've received from Hezbollah supporters.

The head was nice to me, but it was obvious that Hayward would get away with everything, regardless of the suffering caused (I can't share everything, but connect the dots), which is what happened.

So I couldn't legally work, but did, had no support for actual academic work, but did it anyway, and wasted some 30-40k and got nothing our of it. A total mistake on my part to believe that such an elite university would at least meet basic expectations. It felt like a scam.