As an American living in Norway, I’m constantly having to navigate all those Scandinavian stereotypes. Like how Norwegians are always making fun of Swedes, but if you as an outsider try to join in they suddenly start defending them?
So when I told my Norwegian friends that I was off to Finland for a few weeks I knew not to take it too seriously when they laughed in my face. Though it also made me curious – what is the deal with Finland?
Guys, this is the deal:
Finns are by far the weirdest of the Nordics
So you know those stereotypes I was talking about? Norwegians are made fun of for being filthy rich, lazy, and too attached to their skis, Swedes are said to be painfully politically correct and addicted to tanning, while Danes are teased for being loud and impossible to understand. And Finns?
I’ve heard Finns described as everything from drunks to the emo kid in the corner to sociopaths.
You visit a Finnish home and instead of putting on the kettle for some tea your host turns on the sauna
Because yeah, I totally want to sit in a painfully hot room for an hour, thanks, Finland.
Oh, and you’re going to have to be naked
It’s definitely part of a sinister plan.
As my friend Rachel described it, sitting naked next to someone is a very effective way to remove all the barriers. But even more so, I think it lures you into a false sense of intimacy. I mean, only the people closest to me have seen me without makeup on, much less stark naked.
So sitting there naked next to your new Finnish friends you start to feel really connected to them. Like, now you really know each other. You even trust them…
And then they make you jump in an icy lake
You can’t breathe and are pretty sure you’re about to die.
Except that when you get out you’re filled with such a rush from jumping in that you want to go back in the sauna and jump in the lake all over again!
What are you doing to us, Finland?
Finns show no respect for the dangers of ice
Not only will Finns happily jump in icy lakes, even swimming under the ice between ice holes, but apparently they’ll also walk up to an oncoming icebreaker like it’s not the scariest thing in the world.
DID YOUR PARENTS TEACH YOU NOTHING, FINNS?
Oh wait, this video is of your parents – or grandparents, or great-grandparents. Apparently crazy runs in Finnish blood.
Read also: 11 Really Good Reasons Why You Should Visit Åland
The Finnish language is kind of terrifying
When Finns speak to you it sounds like they’re casting some sort of (probably totally evil) enchantment. Like, even “I love you” in Finnish sounds like a spell.
Finns must be horrible at real sports, because instead they’ve made up their own
Finland holds world championships in:
Wife Carrying
image via Visit Lakeland
Rubber Boot Throwing
Mobile Phone Throwing
image via husin.sani
and Swamp Football
Sure, Finland, and I’m the world champion of picking up napkins with my toes.
Finnish people will get you to say some really dumb things
Small talk is not a thing in Finland. In fact, I’m not really sure how much of a thing talking is in Finland.
If you’re a Norwegian visiting Finland then this won’t be a problem. You and your Finnish friend can just sit staring expressionless at each other in silence, totally comfortable.
But what if you’re American and are used to filling any silent gaps with whatever pointless chitchat you can think of? You’ll find yourself getting more and more desperate when hanging out with a Finn.
During this last trip to Finland I told a Finn about how I used to have panic attacks as a kid where I’d run around my house tearing off my clothes, I told a Finn about that weird rash my sister gets when she’s too cold, and I even told a Finn – actually, I’m not going to share that one with the whole internet.
Hanging out with a Finn is basically like the weirdest therapy session ever. Confess all your secrets to your silent Finnish friend while sitting naked in a hot sauna, and then jump in ice water!
Read also: What to Pack for Winter in Finland
Finland ranks #1 in like, everything
Please, no country is that perfect. Clearly Finland got the creators of these lists drunk on Napue.
Finland is how Scandinavia turns into Russia
I love both Scandinavia and Russia, but they’re also kind of crazy different. And what lies between them? FINLAND.
Yeah, just think about that.
Finland isn’t even in Scandinavia
Wait, WHAT? But Finns are so blond!
And yet (most of) Finland is not technically part of the Scandinavian peninsula.
Ugh, Finland, way to fail at everything, even this list.
Have you been to Finland? Do you have anything to add?
And yes, this blog post is basically my version of a love letter to Finland – one of my favorite countries in the world (and yes, of course I wish I were Finnish).
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Finn Suomalainen says
This is the stupidest thing! Why even bother….
Mies Jonka Varastit says
Finnish retards like to steal electronics at Vantaa airport.They act awkward.Based on the level of their customer service and general friendliness I would not dare comparing them to Scandinavians.It is more like a USSR way of being hospitable.Some like it,but in HEL finns feel obliged to give hell to transit travelers.Lesson learned.Never I,my family or associates will fly through it again.Kiitos , steal from someone else next time.
Ok bye says
Northern country. Also, don’t come back.
Brel Suosalo says
Finland is the worst Scandinavian country because it isn’t even Scandinavian 😉
Sauli says
Finland was Swedish for over 700 years! We are northern brothers and sisters!
Southern and East FINLANDERS speak Swedish!
Please read History.
Cheers
Adolf says
Sports:
Few chamipionships on hockey
Social activity:
Winter = dark 6 months a year, doesnt make you really want to talk to people when you just want to sleep and do your work
Summer = holidays, people are merry, drunk and happy for that few weeks that we have
Fall = prepare for the winter
Spring = hurry up and wait up for the summer which is knocking on the door
Talking:
Not much to talk, you just work, work, sleep, work, keep your family alive and wait for summer
Alcohol and sauna:
You just get relaxed and dont want to talk, if theres nothing to speak, then why would you?
Nobody wants to release every single instance they had in their lives for the last week, because its past, it doesnt matter anymore, done is done. History is different, because you weren’t in it at the moment.
Alcohol is fun, but you can have alcohol without fun. Just to spend time and stay alone. If you wish to have social activities, go to a social place, like a club.
Small talk:
Talk about weather? – yeah, it was rainy and it was dark.
What else? – it was rainy and it was dark.
How’s life? – I went to work, went to sleep, woke up to repeat and I’m waiting for summer.
Whats the big deal, cultures are different and not everyone is a rainbow dancing on a cloud with happiness and sparkles every day. It is our life, why not just accept it that being in the dark and being in the rain waiting for a little tip of a sunlight is our normal daily life.
Marcelo says
Having spent some time in Finland, it was so much fun reading this. 🤣
Vesa Kuusava says
Well we, Finland, we are Not a scandinavian country at all, perhaps that is the reason. We are one of the nordic countries still. And what about the sports: I always get it funny that eny of the usa national leagues on whatever, they always call it World series or World cup…. That is nice, kind of trumpish ;-D
ittakesa says
Americans have forgotten Abe Lincoln wisdom “Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt.”
Works even better nowadays when you fools brainfarting all the time just because can’t wait your brain works some intelligent output.
Still love USA. Norwegians are the real weirdos.
Laura says
I love Finland, especially because they hate small talk.
Aurora Borealis says
Finland is clearly not a nice country for most foreigners to settle in. There are really a lot of gloomy and depressing facts about living here.
The weather of course is really harsh on your soul. It is bitterly cold and dark more than half of the year round. For the only 3 months of mild summer when you try to enjoy nature, you are daunted by terrible swarms of mosquitoes. Unlike Norway, Finland is not warmed by the Gulf stream which makes its northern part very gloomy, dark and crackling cold. Even in the south like Porvoo, even in June, you get so many bad days when it’s cloudy, rainy, windy, and not at all warm, like around 15C. So, unless you are from Siberia, you will badly miss the sunny and calm summers of your country.
And that’s just the tip of the iceberg. For a foreigner to settle here, you have to brave many other horrible things. Like you have to burn out your entire brain to learn this extremely weird, almost impossible, Martian gibberish of a language, which they call Finnish. This nonsensical abhorrence is almost like aliens from another planet or maybe like the Gog Magog from the center of the earth. Whatever your case, you can’t become a citizen unless you cross this Ring of Fire, i. e. actually learn to speak it. I am sorry to use such harsh words, but it’s totally terrible to learn it.
And after your soul has been sucked out by the terrible climate and your brain has been evaporated in learning the Finnish language, there’s much more to come. The PEOPLE!! You suddenly find that you are living in a country full of crazy, autistic, socially challenged Xenophobes! The most rude and xenophobic people among most of western Europe I have ever seen. They will never smile at you or greet you or wave at you, they will never ever invite you into their homes or even a social event at a restaurant. Nobody will even bother to call you on the weekend to check if you are lonely in case you are new here. They would shunt you out of their social life. They will force you to feel rejected and lonely and shattered after your countless tries to be extremely nice and friendly to them and trying to make some inroads into their lives to pull yourself out of this lonely hell in which you have landed yourself.
And talking about jobs… If you have a Masters degree just consider throwing it in the dustbin because if you don’t have good command over their impossible language, or don’t have a Finnish surname you could pretty much end up doing nothing except washing dishes or cleaning toilets here. The only jobs having some chance are limited to the IT, Construction and Nursing sectors where demand is actually so high that they grudgingly have to hire you despite their xenophobia.
So now you get it why it is ranked as the happiest country in the world. These autistic, selfish xenophobes with their worst behavior, worst weather and worst language, pretty much shunt out most foreign immigrants which is why the country does not have any immigrant related issues which most of western Europe is currently facing like a culture shock, increased crime rate, a strain on the social welfare system, bitter internal politics etc. So yes, it’s definitely a happy country!
Although not as high ranked as Norway, Finland is also a pretty expensive country to live in, which adds to the misery.
Talking about the forests and nature, the truth is that the terrain and the scenery are quite dull and monotonous (unlike, for example Norway with its breathtakingly diverse scenery of the mountains and the fjords). Finland is mostly a flat country and that forest with the lake is so similar wherever you go that after the initial excitement of being in the wilderness, you begin to feel like an automaton moving around and around the same forest and lake everyday. Not to mention the terrible swarms of mosquitoes who stalk you like a shoal of hungry piranhas.
I also found that unlike the exotic temperate and tropical forests in southern latitudes teeming with truckloads of exciting birds, Finland’s craggy, dull, monotonous woods are quite devoid of bird life, except a painfully small variety presenting an occasional appearance, like the woodpecker and maybe few others. Same goes for small animals, nothing much to be seen except some squirrels.
So it’s SILENCE EVERYWHERE, silence in the woods, silence in the weather, silence in the people, silence in the offices,…..Sometimes it can get dangerously suicidal to live here.
And I haven’t even started to discuss their crazy culture like the naked men and women socializing in a sauna, or their drinking habits, and so on. I think I have already said enough!!
Finally, few lines on the positives also, which are really very few. They have nice achievements in innovation and design, startup friendly environment, an excellent social welfare system, and a very safe and crime free country.
They also tend to boast about their humbleness and honesty but I am not impressed by the latter, because they are not honest towards expatriates, especially in matters of employment. They also try to be innocent and hide their ugly xenophobic attitude under a thin veneer of introversion which is really a shameless see thru and a flimsy excuse of their utterly terrible behavior towards expatriates.
Karl Erik says
Jeez calm down. Read about Finnish culture and look at their perspective. Yeah of course there are rude Finns but there are rude people in almost every country. All of the Finns aren’t rude they might just be shy. (this is not a hate reply So please don’t be mad at me. I hope you understand that👍)
Ursa Major says
So much self pity, hatred and anger, no wonder Finns don’t want to know you! Maybe you should look in the mirror, eh? You seem to have no understanding of Finland, its history, culture and people, you clearly want Finland and Finns change for you. Well guess what, you are the foreigner, you are the one who needs to get used to the culture and customs of your host country, not the other way round. Maassa maan tavalla tai maasta pois. In other words: maybe you should get the f*ck out of Finland? Try Norway, the language is easier, too (or not…).
Beck says
3 months of mild summer? As I type this near Helsinki, it’s 31 C outside.
Not a lot of mosquitoes in the cities. In the countryside they are horrible and I won’t go there in summer.
I wasn’t sure your rants were serious, a parody or trolling. Maybe a combination. The more I read, the more serious I took your words. As a foreigner living here for a long time, I sympathize with many of your complaints. However, it can be much worse in other countries (Syrians like to come here for example, at least until they get sick of the climate and daylight hours). I love Norway because of the geography and people, who are generally more outgoing and seem happy (last time I was there anyway). I’d rather be there then in Finland. I hope you find a friend or two, a job, and something interesting to do.
hokori says
motherufkcer bitch shut up about finland, finland best coutntry in the world woooohhh #1 country yeah babyyyy oh yeha ameriacan suck!!!!!!!!!!!
Diarmuid says
Keep taking your medication you foul mouthed idiot……
fennica says
Ok I understand. Hokori is making a stereotype of a drunken finn with a low self esteem who is too wasted to read so he thinks he is being insulted. Problem is that I don´t think other than finns get that.
Q says
I’ve been in Finland for nearly a month (from the USA) and I have never met this amount of socially inadequate and socially awkward people in my life! Now I won’t start bashing Finland because my lady is Finnish. At least Finland produces beautiful women! 🙂
Beck says
So many beautiful women to look at and they don’t talk. What are you complaining about?
Erik says
Oh, you MUST be American. You see, Finland is not a Scandinavian country…. why is it that you Americans are so lousy at geography?
Beck says
Because most books and magazines published in the US lump Finland in with the other Nordic countries.
Go complain to the publishers.
Tj says
Scandinavia != Nordic countries
Scandinavia was a historic geographical region, just like North America for example.
If you say “American”, you usually don’t mean “Canadian”. In the same way, if you say “Scandinavian”, you probably don’t mean “Icelandic” or “Finnish”.
If you want to say US & Canadian, you would probably say “North American”. Same for Finland, Iceland, Sweden, Norway, Denmark and the term “Nordic”.
Finnish social toxicity says
“You and your Finnish friend can just sit staring expressionless at each other in silence, totally comfortable.”
Not true. Finns are never comfortable with other people. The silence is awkward. They’re mean, even hostile people with an attitude. Because they’re sooo insecure about them selves. They’re passive aggressive mean two faced bullies in their daily lives and they consider it as a normal behavior. This silence finns are well known for isn’t much to do with being introvert. It’s about showing disrespect to others. They just do not like other people. Finns always reflect other people negatively.
And their ability to handle any criticism is zero. And they hold poor self esteem. Elderly generations are the worst.
The very existence of other people in it self is too much to bare for socially retarded finns. As an American u might be treated better just because finns tend to look up to Americans. But it’s a whole another story when it comes to other ethnicities or even other finns. How things are going with them in their ordinary lives, it’s just horrible. They’re immature small minded mean people who make every day life to become a living hell.
I know this writing of yours is meant to be in sarcastic manner not meaning to insult finns. But I think it’s about time for finns to evolve as people and get some serious shit thrown back to them for their hideous social behavior. There’s nothing funny about that. There’s nothing cute about them as finns apparently are often been represented. It’s just pure toxicity that makes everyone sick.
Now that Europe is being “invaded” by third world countries and the very existence of western civilization is being threatened I’m sure Finland has nothing to be afraid of. When it comes to migration crisis migrants won’t be able to handle these socially challenged finns. Eventually migrants will leave voluntarily. Recently there were some Iraqi migrant group who apparently went to Finland as an asylum seekers for they were experiencing persecution in their own country. It didn’t take too much time until they got enough and left back to Iraq. When they landed they kissed the ground of their homeland. Even persecution and death was better choice for them than living with finns.
Facts straight says
Finland was Belgian Congo of Northern Europe.
Swedes occupied Finland 1100’s and next 700 years Swedes utilized Finland with similar manners as Belgians utilized Congo (Zaïre, Democratic Republic of Congo), using Finland as a military base and buffer zone against Novgorod and Russia. Swedes built their nation with Finnish taxes, and waged their wars up to last Finn.
Russian Tsar Peter the Great occupied eastern bottom of Gulf of Finland, built his new capital St. Petersburg there, and ordered total annihilation of Finns within 100 miles inland from shoreline of Gulf of Finland and Bothnian Sea, and he ordered rest of Finland leveled. In that coastal area (what covered more than half of Finland then) all men and women were killed, and all children were enslaved into Russia, and Cossacks drove them as far East as China. Very few of them were freed or managed to escape, and return.
After population-culling famine years of late 1800’s came World War I, Jewish November Revolution in Russia, civil war in Russia, and in chaos of Proto-Soviet Lenin had to sign Finnish Declaration of Independence against his will.
Thus Lenin instigated civil war in Finland in hope to turn Finland communist and regain territorial control over Finland. Another bloodletting in Finland, again, due to foreigner.
Then unholy alliance of Jewish run Soviet Union with Jewish run USA and UK declared war against Finland. Stalin tried to conquer Finland. Nobody helped us, except Nazi-Germany a bit. There were only two peoples who stopped Red Army cold during Second World War, Estonians and Finns, with horrendous losses (if compared to size of population and army). Divine is on side of righteous one, I must say although I am atheist.
So are we Finns xenophobes?
Yes, and for extremely good reasons.
Few peoples on this planet have suffered as much in hands of other peoples—and NONE more.
If Sweden would have not conquered Finland in 1100’s Finnish population could be as high as 80 – 90 million instead of 5,5 million today. Even culling of Russian and Ukraine peoples in hands of Jewish butchers have not exceeded this loss of population, although in Finland this happened in 800 years instead of 30 years.
In long historical perspective even Jews have suffered less in hands of others. (As a matter of fact, Jews have not suffered at all. Jews—as smart narcissist psychopaths typically do—mere concoct an impression that they have always been everywhere underdogs although they have always been richest, best educated, and most influential if not ruling part of every society wherever they live. Only exception of this was Nazi-Germany, and this was real reason to crush Germany in WW2. Pity that Holocaust did not work out).
So, keep these historical facts in your mind when you condemn us. Lets think about consequences of these facts.
Do you have at least elementary knowledge about psychology? Hundreds of years of suffering in hands of other peoples have caused permanent Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder into psyche of individual Finns and into psyche of of Finns as nation. All psychological traits what you described are symptoms of persuasive compelling PTSD what is inherited from generation to another.
You reap what you sowed. Look into past and see what your nation sowed to Finns in past and see what it grew up. Now you reap what your ancestors sowed. You made us what we are today. Yours is the blame.
nnenna says
Ignorant american, we don’t want you in Finland.
Johnny Knoxville says
yeah that’s right gringo. If you don’t have anything nice to say then shut the fuck up and stay in terrorism-free, “we all get along” america.
Red Pike says
Sorry to see you get so much negative feedback even though it is clearly written in sarcastic way. I am very dissapointed with my people whose favourite pastime is being sarcastic. 😀
Maybe they read half through and then decided to skip to comment section to vent their anger? 🙂
Beck says
99% of Finnish people do not understand sarcasm, at least when delivered English. The 1% who do, don’t appreciate it.
Mörkö says
After a year and a half of living here, I’ve learned that Finland doesn’t have to be a Scandinavian country to be an expensive shithole.
writerofthistweetisstupid says
This is the most dummest thing ive ever seen…
1st finland aint a scandic country, 2nd finland is the most educated country in the world, 3rd we are great at sports, we have the best cs go team in the world we have won ice hockey world champions 3 times (this year we actually won it too) 4rd no one makes you jump to a ice bath or something, i have never seen any fin jump to a ice bath. its like if an american is drunk, does it mean every american is? and without finland russia would probably control sweden and norway too… ps. all of finland is part of scandinavian peninsula but only some parts are part of scandinavia…
kzz says
It’s written sarcastically. The author actually likes Finland. I think.
cw says
Swedish is Finland official language. Nordic council uses Scandinavian common languge to communicate. we have also many Finnish people who speak Swedish as mother tongue.
Suomi Perkele says
At the end of the post. there is:
And yes, this blog post is basically my version of a love letter to Finland – one of my favorite countries in the world (and yes, of course I wish I were Finnish).
Which is basically a huge “/S”.
SMH, calm down.
Finnish social toxicity says
Yeah and even the comment section is full of stupid finns not understanding even simplest well meaning humor about them selves.
I’m so fed up with finns. Shithole country with shitty people.
And this is not sarcasm.
This comments are making me sad says
This is making me really sad. I don’t know who you’ve been with but everyone here is like that…
Bad kid says
1 Reason why Norway and America are bad: because of you. Go cry to your mom.
Red Pike says
She wrote sarcastically ffs, read the ending slowly. Ask mom if it gets too hard.
Hi says
FInland is not a Scandinavian country. However, it is a nordic country.
Tuomas says
In Finland you’ll realize what’s predictable and boring, even more if can speak finnish fluently.
Ed Smith says
https://www.quora.com/What-don-t-Americans-fully-grasp-about-Europeans
This may an interesting summary for most.
Finnish recent resident says
I didn’t find the article to be negative, I recently moved to Finland, I lived in the USA previous to us moving here, so I believe I understand both cultures. I have been married to a Finn but we have lived all over the world for the past 20 years. I had visited Finland before and it was not until I moved here that I understand them better. I enjoy the sauna so much, nudity stopped being an issue in those 20 years of marriage. To me the sauna is a relaxing experience and swimming in ice is definitely something I enjoy too, it is an adrenaline and endorphin explosion. It is maybe not for everyone but if you don’t try it you will never know. I think all countries have their own stereotypes but I have found Finland to be a welcoming country where Finns appreciation for nature is fantastic. You have to live here to appreciate the things they do, I used to take for granted the warm weather in Texas and now I look forward to the bright months not in a negative way but in a hopeful way, I love having different seasons.
The blog is a personal opinion and shouldn’t be taken personally against Finland. I read the blog to my Finn husband and he didn’t find it negative either. Negativity spreads faster than anything and I am sure the bloggers intention was more humorous than anything else.
tervetuloa Suomeen! Welcome to Finland
Kimi says
Finland is part of Scandinavia but Denmark isnt.
Kimi says
Their are 3 countries that are part of Scandinavia. Norway,Sweden and Finland. Denmark is not part of it. Obviously you young people out there should learn geography and not spend time inhaling drugs.
Beck says
You’re wrong, unless you think that Scandinavia refers only the Scandinavian peninsula.
It usually doesn’t. I hope you’re not too old to learn some new definitions.
Ian says
I was going to correct someone then I realized…apparently NOBODY has a sense of humor. I wonder if anyone even read the entire article?
Unfortunately I don’t have a MFA in Sarcastic Humor so I won’t be able to divulge the subtleties of nuance in this article but, and I’d be surprised if I was wrong, the author doesn’t actually hate Finland. If anything, I believe she found it to be a wonderful place and was quite enamored with it.
I listened to a really interesting podcast with Joe Rogan and Kevin Hart the other day. One of their main talking points was, “Who has the time in their lives to sit down and write negative comments on things online? Like seriously, where are you in life that you can take the time to be that negative?”
So why did I take five minutes to even bother trying to show some of you the light? Idk.
Andy says
They also have no fear of driving fast in snow covered roads. The speed limits change with the weather, but these Finns don’t care, they still zip around like there is no snow at all. Crazy!
Basiheu says
I think a paternalistic government and narrow minded, stubborn people are the worst things.
Dustin says
I just wanted to read things about Finland and then found this lady full of hate towards a country because of their language and culture. Although I understand that americans don’t really have a culture I find it so disrespectful to spit on a country just because I don’t understand what culture means. Finland is a great country in many many things. It is also a paradise for many.. It is just not your thing. Just please stop using your influence to make others believe that Finland is a hell. Be mature and don’t just write “random things” to get a few blog views.
Sirius* says
Is it only me, but I found it written with humor. I didn’t think it was offensive.
Asian person says
Oh and every country has their own sport..
Asian person says
First of all finland is not part of scandinavian so the title can’t be that.
Sauna is part of finnish culture, nobody force you to go in sauna or in ice water, if you go then it’s your choice.
Don’t speak shit about finland in internet, if you don’t like finland then don’t but writing whole paige about how much you hate finland, that’s ridiculous.
I am not from finland but there lives much my friends and i’ve been there many times and i really like it. In finland education is better than other countries and others want to go in finland to study…
But it’s not my work to try to tell you that this paige is stupid.
fuck ur mom says
serious mate this is the worst blog i’ve ever seen about Finland. Dude ur from Norway and ur scared of fucking cold water? And ur scared of sauna dude ur an adult and u cant be in sauna???? Im freaking 12 and I can stay in a 80°C sauna for 30 minutes while throwing 1L of water every 30 secs dude
Proud finnish man says
HOW STUPID CAN A HUMAN BE? SAYING ALL THESE THINGS ABOUT FINLAND? We can see about you that you are american. Stupid as always.
Karl Erik says
This post was sarcastic i think XD so don’t hate it. The thing that angers me are the comments (not the Finnish people not understanding the sarcasm. Even i didn’t think it was sarcastic at first) i hate the ones who are agreed with this shit and think that finns are toxic or disrespectful or perverts or some shit like that. They just don’t understand finnish culture. If they would just look at other perspectives too then i think everyone would understand. (this is not a hate reply to your comment. I hope you understand that 👍)
Ame says
Oh, please.
This is cute that yer trying to mock us- But, sadly, a little first world complain won’t bring us and our sisu down.
1: Not everyone is drunk.
2: We do love our Sauna, but yer incorrect- I get a lot of visitors, and none have been to the sauna, we dont force that upon them.
3: Can’t you swim? Really? Yer not gonna sink if you swim, you know? Yeesh, don’t your parents teach you anything? :>
4: We have thick ice! There’s literally no need to be scared, Unless you cant swim, of course.
5: Mm, Crazy blood in Fins? Let’s talk about your gun laws in america first, dear. Oh, and our educational system works, thank you very much :). We don’t need homeschool.
6: We may sound scary, but at least we can talk about somwthing else and no-one understands us- and yes, we curse a lot.
7: Oh, who are you calling horrible at sports? We are here to have a good time- Not to complain.
8: Not all of us are quiet- dont use the stereotype please, I’m extroverted, for example. And aren’t Norwegians famous of being quiet too?
8: Do you really want me to talk about the gun laws of america- yeesh. And we are pretty good- Please make your arguments worth my time next time, please. Just saying; ”No country is perfect.” Is an argument error. 🙂
9: Glad to be reading a good joke. Make another one, will you?
10: Doesent the Norwegiang law say not to think you are better than others, Dear?
Why so sirius? says
Amerikkalainen, oot ihan erilainen, sekä eri kulttuuri. Tietysti et pysty olla suomalaisten kanssa. Korjaisin tekstiä: Eikö teille opetettu mitään? Ei saa haukkua muita. 😀
FINN ALSO says
FINLAND IS NOT A SCANDINAVIAN COUNTRY! go do your homework better.
Silvia says
Perhaps you could read the article better?
Beck says
If it’s not Scandinavian, I guess it’s Soviet, or used to be.
Proven by the country ID on the car plates: SF (Soviet Finland).
Finn2 says
Finland is not a Scandinavian country. The writer could’ve done her homework better…
Michael Rovito says
Clearly you didn’t read all the way to the bottom of the article where she states that’s not a Scandinavian country.
FINN2 says
Finland is not a part of Scandinavia…. The writer could’ve done her homework.
FINN2 says
Finland is not a part of Scandinavia…. The writer could’ve done her homework. Hope she’s not Finnish.
Andrew says
Is this meant to be funny? Or serious? Because it fails at both.
Jebb says
And there was me thinking it was because Finland’s smaller doorways mean you can’t fit your teeth through them.
:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:::D:D:D says
HOMOT ;DDD EI TIIÄ ET SUOMI ON HYVÄ MAA :DD:D:D::D:D
FINN says
youre just fckng jealous cuz were the best country
tara says
well you cant really say that when nothing of international value comes from it or your people now can you?
FINN says
F u Finland is the BEST cuz we dont kill ourselves, overbreed ourselves, AND we have every season. HERE u still see SKY when you have fckd up your sky. And also every other scandinavian country is g*y
Rode says
Americans always showing how ignorant they are. Finland is not part of Scandinavia for a number or cultural and genetical reasons. Do your research before publishing something
Silvia says
And read the article before publishing a comment lol
Americans are retarded says
Stupid ugly whore. Go back to your shit country.
Terhi says
It’s a sauna whisk, made of birch leaves. Very healthy for blood circulation and heavenly scent of birch leaves. Love the sauna, every day 🙂 Couldnt live without it 🙂 Sometimes I even add some fresh roses in the middle of the birch whisk and fresh herbs for the ”löyly” water. More heavenly herb scebt to ”löyly” to the stove. Finland 🙂
Mark says
Also, you have to whack your back (or have someone do it for you) with tree branches in the sauna. (Saunas quite literally make me sick to my stomach.) And that “pouring water over hot rocks” thing is just bizarre. I was always told that doing something like that to rocks could cause them to explode. I am suprised there are not more blind or scarred Finns.
Suomalainen says
Thanks for the laughs, Silvia. 😛
Norwegian says
Fun read. You pinpointed some very true things about Finns. But as a Norwegian living in Finland I got to say you’re wrong about one thing; A Norwegian visiting Finland is like a human being visiting another planet. To share silence is very Finnish and not something a Norwegian would do. If we’re with something we will look for something positive to say or something to lighten the mood, and in Finland you’re often just hit with a seemingly emotional wall. I mean, this is a country where people either wait for the next one or take the stairs if their neighbor is about to take the elevator. This is a country where you can say hello to a colleague from work outside of work, and they say nothing back. Not hello, not a nod or a smile, they can just look into the air like you don’t exist. Then you talk to them at work and it’s like that whole silent thing they did yesterday at the bus stop didn’t happen.
I live in robot country :p When you do get to know them they lighten up a bit, but the occasional wall is still there now and then. Irony is often a no-thing. More than once I tried and just get questions about what I said, like talking to a machine that doesn’t compute.
It has its ups though, I got myself a robot girlfriend, and she shows many human traits. There is life there behind that metal exterior, you just have to lure it out
James says
So funny thank you. But truth is Finland is actually the only thing why scandinavia isnt turning russian 1939
Ozzy says
Americans are really lousy writing love letters..
Debs says
hey, Im a Brit with a sense of humour! Im going back to Finland just to wind them up with as much nonsense talk as I can think of! Unnecessary conversation has a habit of destroying their whole day…. so bring on those polite but unnecessary conversations…. however, I love their country and diversity. I would actually move there if i could. I find their culture and history amazing. So despite the fInns having a bad reputation for friendly conversation, I actually love them! The truth be known… I actually agree with them, who needs pointless chit chat! what a waste of a day!
Siiri says
FINLAND ISN’T A SCANDINAVIAN COUNTRY 😀
Silvia says
THAT’S WHAT THE BLOG POST SAYS! lol
PBB says
This was not informative or funny. Your tone came off ignorant and bratty. My IQ has dropped after having read this.
asd says
THANK YOU FINALLY SOME SMART PPL
M. Lake (Järvi) says
My paternal grandparents were born in Kälviä Finland. My father spoke fluent Finnish but he passed a long time ago. Since then I have visited Suomi twice, visiting my father’s cousins and have made many friends there. My daughter spent a year living there and cried when she left, loving the many genuine people she had befriended. My visits helped me understand not only my father’s history but myself too. I felt right at home with saunas, salty licorice, ice fishing and realized I had some ingrained nuances of sisu. Growing up in the US, we spent our summers up in Maine at a cabin on Lake Sebago. That made sense after visiting. What I’ve learned is no matter where you were brought up, DNA is pretty ingrained.
Am I right? says
Germans or Russians never occupied Finland during or after WWII. I don’t know is it good or bad thing.
Tom says
Wait, but he forgot to say that Vinlant is not ÿfen in Skantinaapiaa! To say it TWICE, I mean. Twice!
Greetings from Liettua! We are not even Nordic, let alone Eastern European or not even Central European! We are Lithuanian and sometimes considered as Nothern Europeans. Not Nordic, just Northern. Not Western or Southern or even Middle, Upper or Lower!
Wait… did you know Finland (Suomi-jaa) used to be a Baltic State? A 4th one? And then they became a 16th Soviet republic! And don’t let me start about Estonia… who is now wants to become Nordic, and later.. even Scandinavian?
Perkele… per upe….
🙂
Thomas Liettuan says
Wait, but he forgot to say that Vinlant is not ÿfen in Skantinaapiaa! To say it TWICE, I mean. Twice!
Greetings from Liettua! We are not even Nordic, let alone Eastern European or not even Central European! We are Lithuanian and sometimes considered as Nothern Europeans. Not Nordic, just Northern. Not Western or Southern or even Middle, Upper or Lower!
Wait… did you know Finland (Suomi-jaa) used to be a Baltic State? A 4th one? And then they became a 16th Soviet republic! And don’t let me start about Estonia… who is now wants to become Nordic, and later.. even Scandinavian?
Perkele… per upe….
🙂
mpc says
I stayed in the Helsinki metropolitan area for almost a month. I loved the beautiful scenery, the forests and the lakes, and the clean air. Plus, the system really works.
But what I didn’t like about Finland is how reserved and cold the people are. I’ve been told Finns need their personal space, and I respected that: I tried not to sit beside a Finn in the buses and trains and I tried not to talk to them until they talked to me.
But seriously, how does one make friends that way? I stayed in a common working space and none of the other people there ever talked to me. No one asked my name, what I was doing in their office, whatsoever. Had the tables been turned, I would have at least introduced myself to my new officemate and sincerely (yes, I mean it!) offered to help him or her if he or she needs anything.
Other not-so-nice things: Finland is expensive, and lots of things are inconvenient. Shopping malls close early even on weekends. Even the convenience store R-kioski isn’t 24/7!
NiceDayToYou says
I know what you mean about cold and reserved people. But actually they are not cold and reserved, it’s just their way of interacting with strangers. Break the ice, it only takes one word, and they very nice (and honest) (if they are that way to begin with, of course).
I see “I stayed in a common working space and none of the other people there ever talked to me” how about you, with your greater social capacity lol, making the first move? Thought so…
I don’t want to sound negative, but there’s an actual error here…
Finnish shopping malls are really the most American thing you can get in Europe, hypermalls open 24h, like Prisma’s around capital city area. This is seriously so out of europe, I mean on another planet, in central europe they close shop 6pm or with some special bribe 21pm. And small houses and cars with manual transmission… come on. And it sure does not stop there. American values, head to Finland. European values, head to continental Europe (definitely not the UK). Fair enough.
Finn says
Perkele.
Nilusha says
Hey there,
I’m a Canadian travelling through Helsinki and happened to come onto your blog when I was doing some research, and I couldn’t disagree with you more, respectively of course. Finland is amazing, quirky and incredibly interesting. I feel like you may have just had a quick trip here and didn’t actually absorb the culture or learn about the history, based on the things you chose to write about. That, or you’re just being too American and need to chill out. I’m getting sick of trying to defend our neighbours to the south when people are relieved to know I’m Canadian and not American, when you guys write things like this! Either way, safe travels and lighten up. Peace.
Kata_nee says
Im the weird finnish girl.. I have chocolate brown hair and i smalltalk and i honestly just simply talk always. Sometimes i even wonder if im really finn.
Alarik says
I was laughing so hard. Im finnish and i was reading this to my american bf and omg xD
Ashley Tukiainen says
Lol, I am an American living in Finland and SO MUCH of this is true. Especially the small talk. My first date with my husband, years ago, I laugh about now because he said nothing. NOTHING. And then I told him my life story.
But I’m happy to say at no time did anyone pressure me to be in the sauna OR jump in a freezing lake 😂
Sami says
May I ask you what do you think about the situation that there are almost only two big grocery chains to buy food in Finland? (A finnish competition situation is not a monopoly but it is a duopoly). The biggest grocery chains are S-ryhmä (S-markets) and Kesko (K-markets), they share 85% of grocery markets in Finland, which is sick! A smaller one is a German Lidl with 10% market share. Lidl should definitely have bigger market share because it would increase competition and decrease food price in Finland.
As a finn I think that is one thing which is very badly in Finland but I think the most finns are happy with situation. They answer when asked what they think about situation “It does not matter!” so they are people who do not have principles. Everywhere else in Europe people would allmost riot if they had similar situation but not in Finland where people are pretty passive anyway. It makes food very expensive to buy in Finland because there is a lack of competition.
Finland is also the country of monopolies concerning many businesses. There are many industries which are not allowed to have competition. For example gambling, gambling is only allowed to be organized by state owned company called Veikkaus. Pharmacies also are not allowed to have competition between each other. Taxi business was allowed to start competition 1.7.2018. Until that day it had allways been strictly regulated by state and the laws. Regulating taxi businessess is as stupid as if the state of Finland regulated who is allowed to have a barber shop.
xXxDucksXLoverxXx420SnipezxXx says
Hey Sami, I love your work patrolling the top pairing of the Finnish national team. FIrst of all, I feel like you should stay away from politics, and only associate your brand with your on-ice performance.
Right now you’re putting up some pretty weak numbers, and I think if you tried to clear your head a bit, maybe you could find the back of the cage more than once.
Sincerely,
xXxDucksXLoverxXx420SnipezxXx
Riku Vartiainen says
And there’s no limit to the enjoyment we Finns get from seeing how utterly confused travellers get as we bombard them with all possible oddities of our culture. We might not outright laugh in your face but we will share the story of ‘that one time that tourist stayed with us for a few days’ every time we get the chance. And we’re proud of it. These kinds of blogposts are pretty much a cause for a national holiday
Matt says
This was great!
I’ve been teaching English in this weird lovely place for 26 years and it’s all true!
I’ll be sharing this with all my students soon – they’re going to love it!
Bryan says
I lived in Finland for about 2 years while working with a band from Helsinki (well, where else in Finland could they be from). The only things that really got me were…
1) They always tried to get me drunk. I mean always.
2) Everyone seems to be related!
3) Women either sleep with you or don’t, there’s no “hitting” on them. They’ve made their choice within 30 seconds.
Elisa says
Finland might not be part of Scandinavia, but it is part of a region called Fennoscandia. That name reminded me of something. Namely that there’s remains of three ancient mountain ranges in Finland – Svecofennides in the south, Karelides in the east and the Scandinavian Mountains in the north. The Karelides used to be the same height as the Alps, but erosion eventually turned them into fells (tunturi). I’ve heard Salpausselkä – the huge “mountain” of sand – was part of the Svecofennides, but the Ice Age eroded it until it turned into sand. The more you know.
I wish we still had at least one mountain, though. Stupid Ice Age. XD
ATC says
Nearly everything mentioned is why I love the Finns… Spent about 6 years in and out of there…was married to a Finnish woman. Though it’s like California. Great to visit but unless your born into it or rich, it is a hard place to get truly adjusted to.
Mika says
Haha.. yeah, we love to be different, and not taking everything so god damn seriously or politically correct.
Our small planet would be so dull place without great Finland – and us Finns 😉
Patrick says
Finland is not Scandinavian – not its people; not its culture; not its language. Part of it lies on the Scandinavian peninsula, but that is a geographic characteristic that carries practically no cultural weight. I know Finns who have very little patience for being called Scandinavian. They’re generally the quietest, most people you could ever meet… until you call them Scandinavian. I would change the title of this blog post for that reason alone.
Silvia says
Literally the point of the post – did you read any of it at all?
Niko says
Even Finnish doesn’t know if Finland is part of Scandinavia. Part of them says “Off course not”, some say “yes”. Funny how deeply most of them want to make statement that it not part of it. Still it is 🙂 Denmark is not. When we speak about Scandinavia. It can be Scandinavian peninsula or Scandinavian languages. If we speak about peninsula, where name comes from Scandinavian mountains, then its Norway, Sweden and Finland where those mountains are. If we speak about language Scandinavia then you can add Iceland, Denmark and autonomous countries like Faroe Islands and Åland Islands there. Finnish language is different than Scandinavian, but Sweden is also Official language in Finland. There is plenty fluent swedish speaking regions, also autonomous Åland is part of Finland.
I just dont know why Finnish are so eager to deny Scandinavian heritage.
Gry says
Unlike what a lot of people think,is Finland actually NOT a Scandinavian country!..
– A Nordic country, yes, but SCANDINAVIA does only include; Norway, Sweden, Denmark & Iceland.
What characterizes the Scandinavians, is that these countries have had a common history that includes lots of wars, and the borders have been changed god knows how many times according to that. This has made the languages so similar that people from Norway, Sweden & Denmark actually has the ability of communicating in their own language and be understood by the others!.. (Danish & Norwegian is actually no more different than American & UK English). Iceland has basically kept the norse language, so they can’t interact like the rest of the countries, but the grammar and some of their words are exactly the same as the Norwegian.
Finland, on the other hand, hasn’t been part of this history. There are for instance no such thing as Finnish vikings. They share history with the Baltic countries, and would also been part of the old USSR if Stalin had gotten it his way back in 1939..
Mika says
Yeah, Finland could have been part of USSR if if.. There are lot of if’s in history, for example that Finland could have been part of Sweden IF swedes would have won the war against Russia way back in 19th century.
Also, Finland is bilingual country (Finnish and Swedish) and 5% of Finns are having Swedish as their mother tongue. Even not belonging to Skandinavia, Finland shares lot of common history, wars etc. with other Nordic countries. More than with Baltic countries.
Trym Vierhaug says
This is Why I get so frustrated When talking to Americans! Finland is NOT a Scandinavian country. As an actual Scandinavian I have to tell you (though it’s unbelievable that you’ve lived in Norway in more than a day and you still don’t know this) that ONLY Norway, Sweden and Denmark are Scandinavian countries! Sometimes Iceland and the Faroese Islands are included most don’t vore them as Scandinavian as Norway, Sweden and Denmark have a much tighter relationship.
Silvia says
Lol maybe you should actually read the post before commenting.
information_man says
I love seeing Norwegians and Swedes getting offended and being almost in a panic when Finland is (of course mistakenly) called Scandinavian. There is an undeniable disgust in both of these countries for Finland based mostly on obsolete, stereotypic conceptions of Finnish people. It’s changing nowadays but it’s frustrating and actually sad to encounter these kinds of almost colonial attitudes. As a Finn I generally like both Swedes and Norwegians but to the ones that don’t get it: kyss meg i reva. <3 u scandies
Gary says
Love Finland so much, especially the national drink / moonshine in plastic bottles, so it does not smash in you pocket when you fall over, genius!
sagnu says
I live in Finland and I laughed at this post so much. I love our language because it’s so weird, but as a Finn I have to say that it is an actual Hell to study finnish.
Linda says
Haha, I was taken aback for a second and HAD to read this article, if only to figure out if the title was serious. 😉 I’m so glad it wasn’t, and I loved your tongue-in-cheek writing style here!! Such awesome points made. Although I have to admit, Finnish language IS terrifying. That you can say completely unironically, Finns will totally not take offence. We know the language is absolutely ludicrous!
Pete Fenton says
I really want to come to Finnland.they say that is where I come from. I want to touch my roots! And feel home. Would I be welcome being from America????
Collin says
As an American with Finnish as a background, I have visited one of the most beautiful countries on this planet not once but twice. Suomi.
The first time I got this wonderful opportunity I was 19 years old. At this point I was self teaching the language to myself and anyone who would listen,for a few years. When I first arrived in Finland I was in shock. I remember being on the small two engined airplane leaving Copenhagen, thinking about what to expect and what i just got into. I started to panic a little for a minute. Ok maybe I freaked out bad, but not in the ways you’d imagine. It was like a silent screaming in my head. I remember trying to focus on my face. Trying not to show any emotions. Then something snapped. Something silly, now that I think about it. It was one of the flight attendants. She walked up to me, she must of assumed I spoke Finnish. She asked a simple question about wanting a news paper, I knew what she said but I choked. But o cleared my thought and replied simply, “Kyllä. She smiled and gave the paper to me. I then thanked her in Finnish with “Kiitos”. At that moment, I realised I was going to be fine. I needed to stick to the plan!
The plan was all figured out. I only had to find the bus line. Ask when to get off and meet my first native Finn. Simple. For what I lack in Finnish language, Finns speak wonderfully clear English. I am being modest. (I’ve been to the UK and had a harder time communicating in English) When I arrived to my stop in north Helsinki, I was met by a very quiet but adorable girl. Her and I are the same age so I’m sure I got awkward. She greated me with a smile and welcome. She then grabbed one of my bags and we started walking to her and her moms apartment. There were very few words, but it wasnt weird. That was a strange feeling to be have, having been born in the USA. I felt like I was sitting around with family. Enjoying each others company, yet having so many questions. Small talk wasn’t as painful as one would think. Especially after a pint or two 😉
After resting a minute and visiting with her mom and her. We went out for a walk to a local bar/pub. That’s where I feel my culture kinda spilled out. Granted this was my first bar I had ever been in and when I was carded i was not told to leave. I was so embarrassed trying to order. I think there was only two freaking choices of beer and I was still fumbling around. Nonetheless, we got a beer each and sat down. I remember us talking a little. The evening was mostly looking around snickering at people and her telling me whats going on.
The next day I was jet lagged and slept till three in the afternoon. I was so pissed! The day wasted! Mind you, its January so the sun was up for like 5 minutes. I didnt let the darkness stop me. I hopped on the train and rode it till I got bored. I got off near the city center in Helsinki. Despite the ankle high snow, everyone was hustling around normally. This is where I got my lesson on Finnish drivers. They do not stop. . .
Niin, I could go on and on. If you made it this far, Kiitos Paljon. (Thanks much) My point of sharing my story is to hopefully show someone out there that its possible and pretty painless. If you ever feel like me before I got off the plane, find the reasons why you’re going to be fine and rock it like no other.
Jani Virtanen says
Thank you, Silvia. I’m a bit jealous if you end up settling to elsewhere but Finland in the Nordic region. 🙂
Finland is often categorized as a Scandinavian country, because part of it is part of the Scandinavian Peninsula, and because of ethnic, cultural, linguistic and historical ties between Finland, Sweden, the Kalmar Union and #Kvenland. Furthermore, Sweden and Norway were born on a Finnic platform.
• Europe in 814
– http://814.kvenland.org
Petteri says
Yep, like I said in my post, I don’t see why Finland would not be part of Scandinavia. If Denmark is Scandinavia, then Finland must be part of it, too.
Mark says
“Fake UN report” ? What 🙂
Finland is not the richest country in Europe, once it was one of the poorest. The millionaires don’t make a nation happy, It’s more about the way of thinking, are you willing to convert existing wealth into wellbeing, for all. Finns have chosen the high taxes and the money is invested in people = More equality, less poverty, less corruption. I could move somewhere else in the EU tomorrow and be taxed less, probably had more money to spend but I’m happy with my life now.
Your video is about the asylum seekers, not ordinary immigrants. Europe got a wave of asylum seekers from the Middle East three years ago and Finland was among the top receiving countries, from Iraq especially. The majority of the Iraqis got disappointed and had to return from Europe. Generally the immigration to Finland has been growing for the past 25 years, actually indians have been one the fastest growing groups 😛
For sure it’s dark in mid winter but there are four seasons you know, nights are short in summer.
If winter gets too heavy you can take a break in Canary Islands or Thailand. Or in Delhi or Goa if you like, there’s a direct service from Helsinki 🙂
Wishing you a happy spring time!
The immigration to Finland has been rapidly growing
Jani Virtanen says
I don’t recall Finland ever having been one of the poorest, Mark. 🙂 There has always many poorer. However, Four major wars during the 20th century alone in Finland and around her borders, as well as many smaller ones (for instance, c. 4,000 Finns fought in the Estonian War of Independence), have all taken a bite of the nation’s well-being.
Following WWII, Finns for a long time paid the Soviets massive “war debt” (although in reality, Finns owed the Soviets nothing). This, along with the three wars fought in Finland during WWII, was a big reason for some tough time in Finland. Both war-years and years after wars have been heavy for Finland. Finns have participated in at least 44 wars following the Viking Age.
Jaikishen says
I’m from India. Have lived in Europe for 2 years. Generally, I don’t get along that well with Scandinavians. I think most of them are a superficial, self-centered lot with preconceived stereotypes/notions about other countries which is incredibly annoying. Despite the fact that many of them are well-travelled, they know nothing about human relationships or what not to say to another person. I think the Norwegians are probably the worst of the lot, but the Swedes and FInns aren’t really much better. The Danes are somewhat OK as they’re more like Germans in terms of outward behaviour, and believe me, that’s not a compliment.
For comparison, when I was in Europe, I’d get along excellently with British people, Spaniards, Greeks, Italians and even the Poles.
You do run into a hell number of Swedish guys in places like Thailand where they learn to experience what it’s like to be a proper human being.
I think it’s the lack of Sun in these countries which makes people these people naturally selfish, cold and hostile.
I recall meeting quite a few Finns in my life — there’s only one I liked, in fact, we’re good friends now but I’ll never pay her a visit to Finland. She’s a girl in her 20s, an extrovert and we hit it off really well. She wasn’t closed-minded unlike regular Scandinavians you run into and was open to try out new things, I believe her exceptional behaviour had something to do with the nature of her employment – she works at a McDonald’s. You cannot be hired by McDonald’s anywhere if you’re parochial, insular and xenophobic.
How to shut up an introvert Scandinavian when they won’t stop bitching about how great their Nordic countries are — just give them 101 reasons why you can’t live without Sun.
Mark says
Finland also had the happiest immigrants in the latest UN Happiness Report, so they hardly are the most xenobhobic people on earth. Yes Finns typically are introvert and need a lot of personal space but these are cultural differences. The differences are there where ever you go, also in India.
Jaikishen says
“Finland also had the happiest immigrants in the latest UN Happiness Report”
Fake UN report. You people want to live in denial.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5VyDeWVCk2s
Here’s the thing. Unless I were an Iraqi or Syrian fleeing from ISIS, I would get the hell out of Finland within 2-3 weeks of arriving there. Thanks to the Internet – I know everything I need to know about your country.
You may be a wealthy country with lots of beautiful natural sceneries but honestly, that will not compensate for so many assholes per sq. kilometer.
But I don’t really blame you — I know it’s the lack of Sun. If I were born there, I’d probably have grown into a sociopath.
information_man says
Nordic people are not sociopaths, lol. It seems you are just very demanding of other people’s attention and get offended when your behavior does not warrant any. Live for some time in a Northern European country and try to observe and talk to people on their terms, maybe you will find a connection. If you are not interested, just shut up!
Mark says
Well if Finland is the worst of the Nordic countries it seems Finns don’t mind: According to the UN Happiness Report 2018 Finland is the happiest country in the world. Sorry Norway, you were just second 😉
http://www.bbc.com/news/world-43414145
Petteri says
Well, the thing about Finland not being a part of Scandinavia is a tricky one… There seem to be (even) some Finns commenting here that “Finland is not a Scandinavian country”. Technically only the north of Finland is part of the peninsula.
Still, if we only consider the Scandinavian peninsula being Scandinavia, then Denmark would not be part of Scandinavia either. And I believe most people consider Denmark a Scandinavian country.
Then there is the language: Finnish is really different from Swedish, Norwegian and Danish (and Icelandic).
But we share many, many cultural features with our western neighbours. I believe it’s a cultural thing… We are all different – and alike.
olaman says
nice list. we all hate suomi
Erik says
Silvia, As a Finn i always love seeing other people’s point of view on Finland and you did a great job of writing about Finland in a way the Finn’s can understand, self-deprecating regarding the Finns. We Finn’s are very much self-deprecating. You did a fine job of not over doing it as Finn’s take very seriously what outsiders think of Finland. The only part I would say that might strike the offensive cord in a Finn is when you wrote the Finns are somewhere “culturally” between Scandinavians and Russians. Really the reason Finns are a little crazy and odd is because we are “geographically” stuck between the Scandinavians and the Russians, hey if that’s not enough to drive a person crazy then I don’t know what is?! Oh you forgot to note that Finns have a very sarcastic way about them, you might have noticed that in my last statement. Also we tend to delight in our dark sense of humor or gallows humor as I like to call it. I guess we have this humor due to our climate and the aforementioned reason I gave for us Finns being crazy and odd. Anyway, indeed the Finns are a bit crazy and odd, something I used to be bewildered and a bit embarrassed about when I was younger, however now I embrace that Finnish oddness wholeheartedly without reservation. Of course I am a bit of an oddball as a Finn as well, Finnish born(in a very Finnish household) and American raised, so not only am I stubborn and sarcastic , I am also loud and obnoxious(at times)! I keep telling my friends(American) that I am quiet and stoic by nature, they don’t believe me?! I am a true Finn……..misunderstood! Thanks again for your posting it was most enjoyable.
fairytale says
I know, this post is satiristic. I also know, as a Finn, that Finnish is not the most beautiful language in the world.
But, have you ever visited Russia (I haven’t)? Actually Finland has way more things in common with Sweden than with Russia? Did you know that Finland is officially a billingual country because 5% of the population has Swedish as their first language (I am one of those).
We do have some funny traditions. But I agree with those who commented that 99,9% has never tried swamp football and wife carrying.
And the alcohol; yes we do have problems with that. There is, however, nothing more annoying than to hear “OMG you are Finnish you have to stand one more drink” when you’re out and want to limit yourself to one or two glasses of wine (happened all the time during my exchange semester). This is like saying all americans are fat bc they onluy eat at McDonalds (and I know alla mericans are not fat).
However, a funny post from you, as we do have some strange and funny traditions in Finland. But, as someone said, we are not a homogeneous group of “Scandinavian Russians”.
Silvia says
Politics aside, Russia is probably my favorite country in the world, and actually if anyone is cooler than Finns, I’m afraid it has to be Russians. Sorry!
'-' says
Because to us it sounds insulting. I guess some Finnish people don’t have so much humour. One of our stereotypes is being serious. But I wonder why did you put 11 why Finland is the worst Scandinavian country. That article in itself sounds quite insulting to me at least. But I misunderstand lots of stuff anyways so don’t mind me. Also since ya do love Finnland, you are welcome even tho I know what I just said sounded rude.
'-' says
Welp, not all Finnish people are like that so shush. Besides Finland has won in icehockey and got some medals in winter sports mostly.
Ugh, don’t ever mention Russia with Finland. Especially like that. Finland has beautiful views and we just have our own traditions and we are creative cuz we made our own sports. You unfortunately visited really traditional family. Finnish language is monotone like and not some spell casting.
Ya could have just stayed quiet about your dumb things. Sooo basically it’s not the finns’ fault. What a fail.
Ya just chose a bad place to go in Finland XD
Ps. I was just looking for facts and not even really read the whole thing.
Red says
Hi.
I found your article quite amusing. And it was a pleasure to read (most of) the comments.
I’ve been travelling quite a bit around Europe with my motorbike and coming back home after leaving the overpolished and uberclean Swedish countryside and cruising thru my own home country gives me the feeling of venturing the Great Unknown Wilderness. If one would discribe Finland as a lady, she would be like a forest spirit, slightly etheric and hard to approach, compared to Lady Sweden, who’s more like a cold, tough supermodel.
Chris Koivu says
Sweden owned Finland until 1809. So we are kinda sorta Scandinavian, except not, because are language is not Germanic. And, sure we are weird, but we like our salmon, saunas, and ice lake plunges, and we like Ikea too. And if you keep criticizing us, don’t come crying when your Nokia phones break
Rūta says
I am sorry for a silly question but maybe you can explain what do you mean when saying “Swedes are said to be painfully politically correct and addicted to tanning” – tanning? Do you mean.. sun tanning?
Przemyslaw says
Hey everyone 🙂 I’m from Poland but I have been living in the UK for the past 12 years :O (how the time flies) anyway, I have been thinking since this new year has started that at the end of it, id like to move to Finland, to experience something new and hopefully settle there as well, as it seems like an awesome country to live in 🙂 however my mother is talking me out of it, as she is considering it as going on a titanic, since I won’t know anyone, and that ill struggle. But I really really want to live there, as I’m sick of living where I currently live now. it would be nice to get to know someone who does live in Finland and speaks English (so I can communicate with them) but to also help me out learning the language ^_^ That’s not to say that I haven’t already started, I find learning new languages easier when I move to the country that the language is spoken (that’s how I learned English)
notyourbusiness says
‘murican. Nuff said.
bill h says
well, I absolutely loved finland. I visited a year later after having toured Norway Sweden and Denmark which are beautiful, but as an american you certainly get the vibe that these are very homogenous countries, and they just ooze perfection, each in their own way. In finland you get the scandinavian impression, but mixed with folks that are not full of it, and aware that they are a bit different, as a people, in appearance, in the history of being between 2 different cultures (scand. + russian) and of course their ultra obscure language which it seems like the only foreigners who have the patience to become fluent in are russians!! all this gives you the sense of a beautiful country which is actually populated with real people, warts and all, kinda like the old usa.
best memory was going to an historic public wood fired sauna bathhouse in helsinki, and right there in the lobby is a huge chest deep freezer which is there so the clientele can bring their six-packs of beer from the store round the corner and put them on ice while they work their way thru the six beers during their sauna!! If that ran out, they just walked round the corner and got more beer wearing their towel!!
Veera says
Hahaha, you are funny! 😂 For real, Finland is the Best place in the World! ❤️
Rasmus says
These things are normal to us finns, stop insulting our culture.
Christina says
I’ve been to Finland with my tourist visa and staying with my Finnish Bf for 3 months.I can say that Finland is nice country, friendly people, and very warm. The sauna and jump into ice lake is one of their tradition and culture so we have to obey and respect that. Each country have their own tradition and culture. Finland is the nice country I’ve ever been. Not like other countries, especially Asia! I definitely come back in Finland very soon. 100 Suomi Finland. 😍😍😍
jep says
noni
Sanna says
I’m a Finn and find this so funny 🙂 I always thought that only when you can hang out with someone in silence (and feel like you don’t have to say anything at all without feeling awkward) you know you have found a true friend.
Although I appreciate a good conversation there is also gold in silence. And it all boils down to only speaking when you actually have something to say. Everything else is just nonsence, distraction and takes your mind off whats important.
I am also really happy about naked sauna. It means every Finn has seen REAL PEOPLE (your parents, your grand parents, siblings, friends and hundreds of strangers) naked since birth and develop a much more healthy body image and confidence. We know all those airbrushed perfect models in magazines are fake because we know what people look like IRL. It also normalizes our bodies in this oversexualized world and liberates you from being ashamed of your body.
You should visit in summer! It’s a whole another world then.
Teacher says
What an awesome post, Silvia! Yes, Finland is a wonderful country! And yes, the Finnish language may sound a kind af a terrifying still beautiful magic spell ))) Love it 🙂
PS. If you or anyone would like to learn some useful Finnish phrases, you are very welcome to: http://whatsinfinnish.blogspot.com/
Hanna says
Wow, loved this! I think you capture Finland in a really funny and true way. As a Finn living in Sweden I really miss some of the things you wrote about. Especially the saunas and ice-bathing. I also miss people being quiet sometimes. Even though I love chit-chating I sometimes enjoy just being quiet togheter with someone. When I came to Sweden I was really uncomfortable with people hugging me all the time. I don’t know if you noticed but in my beloved country people usually don’t hug each other much. In Sweden everybody is hugging each other and I was kind of like ”don’t touch me this is weird I don’t know you that well”. Now I am used to it. Thank you for your post and have a blessed Christmas!
Miika Rantanen says
JAA. VOI OLLA.
V says
This was one wonderful post! Great sense of humor in my opinion – unfortunately you seem to attract some Finns with no clue what satir means or even worse, people who will loose their shit without reading one whole sentence after the topic line. Glad you enjoyed your visit, welcome back anytime 😊
Jouni says
I know its satire but a few corrections nonetheless.
Finns only put the sauna on if the visiting person is a friend and he or she knows what is coming. If not, it is far more likely that it is indeed tee that will be made available. But yes, we love sauna (I’ve never even heard of a Finn who does not). There are many who do not enjoy icy water, and no one definitely expects anyone to jump in it. I’ve never heard of anyone walking up to greet an ice breaker.
As far as the sports and small talk are concerned you are not far off the mark. Small talk is something that we can do, if we pretend and practice it. It does not come naturally and you do not do it with strangers or when you do not have to. Silence, honesty and punctuality are our defining features.
Wife carrying and swamp football etc are basically phenomena made up by the media. 99,9 percent of Finns have a) never done them and b) never even watched them in TV or in the Internet. But there is some truth in us being good only in our own sports. We generally excel in sports that are only marginally popular elsewhere in the world, like ice hockey and cross-country skiing. That does not hinder our (usually very drunken) celebrations of our achievements in them.
Suvi says
Well hello!
Maybe some Finns were completely lost in translation with this article, but I totally agree. I’m from Northern Finland and been living here all my life (35yrs now). I think it’s a part of Finnish character that permits us to ridicule ourselves and the country we live in, but denies this from foreigners and that’s why my fellow citizens may take your article as an insault. I didn’t. The main reason may be that I’ve always loved a bit of morbid and sarcastic humour and felt the innate weirdness of us Finns while abroad somewhere.
There is a certain pride in us Finns ’bout being Finnish but sometimes during winter months I’ve kinda hoped to be at least half Australian or something (just to be able to get away from these snow storms and -30 degrees).
Ihan suomalainen olen says
I’m from Finland, thank you!
Hano Menolinen says
Finland is wonderful and people are great! Period. I love spending time there specially in the winter! Not the mention the food. Finns are just as friendly and nice as all other Scandinavians!
Desiree says
I visited my Finnish boyfriend in 2008. I took with me my 3 year old son. We are both South African. We look “white” but are in fact of mixed heritage.
Visiting Finland was indeed a culture shock. I was in awe at how different things are in Finland as compared to South Africa. Things are clean, well maintained and always on time. The beauty of the region and the people is breathtaking. I have never seen so many white people in all my living days. It was very very weird for me not to see a person of African or Asian or even Indian heritage. I see these people everyday here in SA so it was very strange for me and it was quite upsetting eventually as I missed seeing people of different races everyday.
The Finns are quiet, but friendly. I managed to strike up spontaneous conversations with a variety of Finns in my 3 week stay. My son, who at the time was a typical South African toddler (noisy, energetic, boisterous and very outgoing) was quite an anomaly to the Finns. They were quite fascinated by him as he looked like a Finn (very pale skinned, blue eyed and blonde haired) but he would run through the malls singing and skipping and shouting that he was spider man. In stark contrast the Finnish children were so well behaved it was almost eery. They walked in silence behind their parents and did not make eye contact with passersby.
I found that smiling at Finns, especially when you don’t know them, is not a socially accepted norm. Here in SA we greet by making eye contact and giving our best smile and saying a loud “Hi/hello”, or “Molo/Molweni” when we pass by each other, even if we are strangers. But I greeted my boyfriend’s parents with a hug and a kiss and we do the same thing here in SA. I am a redhead and my freckles were a talking point with my boyfriend’s parents. They were quite enamored with my freckled skin (which I myself am not a fan of). They were quite surprised that my son did not have freckles like I did but I explained that his father has a completely different skin tone to me and he had inherited his colouring from my ex’s side of the family, not mind.
I was offered pickled herring, which I tried but found quite overpowering. I still ate it but it’s not something I would like to taste again. My boyfriend’s mom prepared a syrup for my son as she was concerned about his weight. He was quite skinny and petite for his age and she was worried he was too thin. He loved that syrup, I only wish I could remember what it was called.
Over all I fell in love with Finland, but sadly I did not feel the same about my boyfriend. We broke up soon after I returned to SA.
What I love/loved most about Finland was the beauty of nature, the cleanliness of the towns and cities, the way everything ran on time every time and the fact that people seldom use cars to get from place to place. The trains are amazing and mostly people either cycled to where they wanted to go or they walked. I must mention that I visited during the summer so I do not know Finland in winter. The average temp when I visited was around 10 degree Celsius. People in SA would consider that quite cold as they are used to an average of at least 25 degrees C. I however found the temperature perfect as I get way to hot here in SA, even during winter as it is still a lot warmer than I would like it to be.
I would love to go back to Finland someday as well as visit the Scandinavian countries.
Linda Paajanen says
Born in America, but heart is in Finland with the ancestors.
Charles says
What I find cool, as a Swede is how you can “speak” to finns without opening your mouth. The times I’ve been to Finland I’ve done this more than once as I can’t speak finnish. It’s hard to explain how it works, but it’s like the combination of body language, facial expressions and so on. Does anyone here understand what I’m talking about?
It’s a very nice country, feels just like being at home, but with a twist because of the sauna culture and their weird sounding language that they speak. It sounds quite beautiful after a while, but you have to train your ears since you always hear what an ugly sounding language is here in Sweden.
Finland is also a very relaxing place. I completely love to go there when I’m feeling stressed. It feels like Finland manages to calm me down as I’m quite hot-livered as a personality and curse a lot and shout and that sort of stuff. But after a visit there, I come home being a dalai lama.
Until next time Suomi, see you soon again my friend!
Desiree says
I know what you mean Charles. I managed to get by without many words when I visited Suomi. I cannot even speak Swedish so all I have is english to offer but somehow I did ok.
I found it very relaxing too. Living in Africa is a stressful thing, but there in Finland, it was peaceful and beautiful.
Anonymous says
*Sigh* … i Am of Finnish heritage. I do not associate as one though. I did not have a good childhood and did not like most of the Finns my parents knew and only like a couple of my relatives. Most were alcoholics. Most hold grudges and are not loyal to family. Most ignored the children speaking in Finnish even when they didn’t know they weren’t taught the language. Domestic violence was too common. I do miss my mother’s pulla, thin pancakes, mojaka and kalamojaka and all she was able to teach me despite her horrid marriage and living conditions. And it is sad my siblings and I suffer from developmental trauma as a result. No, the Finnish are not all good people and I believe much is kept quiet about that.
AhNoNames says
Oh, I got such a good laugh from this list. I know we are a crazy ass country, and well, I hate Finland. I love in it for Gods sake and I hate it so I can see why the world would too 😂
A Finnish man says
Finland is not a Scandinavian country.
marten says
Hello, Finland cannot be the worst country in Scandinavia since it is not part of Scandinavia:
While the term Scandinavia is commonly used for Denmark, Norway and Sweden, the term the Nordic countries is used unambiguously for Denmark, Norway, Sweden, Finland, and Iceland, including their associated territories (Greenland, the Faroe Islands, and the Åland Islands).[20] Scandinavia can thus be considered a subset of the Nordic countries. Furthermore, the term Fennoscandia refers to Scandinavia, Finland and Karelia, excluding Denmark and overseas territories; however, the usage of this term is restricted to geology, when speaking of the Fennoscandian Shield (Baltic Shield).
Scandinavian countries:
Denmark (Constitutional monarchy with a Parliamentary system)
Norway (Constitutional monarchy with a Parliamentary system)
Sweden (Ceremonial monarchy with a Parliamentary system)
Nordic countries:
Finland (Parliamentary republic)
Iceland (Parliamentary republic)
Åland Islands (an autonomous province of Finland since 1920)
Faroe Islands (an autonomous country within the Danish Realm, self-governed since 1948)
Greenland (an autonomous country within the Danish Realm, self-governed since 1979)
Svalbard, which is under Norwegian sovereignty, is not considered part of Scandinavia as a cultural-historical region; but as a part of the Kingdom of Norway (since 1925), it is part of the Nordic countries (Norden).
Robert says
Finland good only social this is olmostly the best but work money for living find work or social life zero..Is only good for social but because is wery cold in total this is not reason to go there…better Norway or second Danemark..Sveden hawe problem with refuge and economy but is better the Finland witch is last in scandinavia..iceland is vulacano place and Grenland depense from Daneamrk.
Hannu says
I am a Finn and I agree about the small talk. When I visited first time in my life USA I went to a restaurant soon after arriving to Newark airport. It was a cultural shock when the waitress at first asked me “how are you”. It was similar feeling than you had naked in a Finnish sauna. Just when I was going to tell her that I was a little bit depressed because I had problems with my girlfriend the waitress left me with the menu. I learned quite soon that the answer to an American is always “fine, how are you”. Traditionally here in Finland, we ask “how are you” when we are really interested in what is happening in another human being’s life. But recently the American style of small talk has become more common in Finland.
Claudia says
That is sad! I am American living in Europe. But when in America, I worked in customer service. I hate small talk but always asked how people were when I genuinely cared.
Desiree says
Living in South Africa, when people ask me “how are you” I always make sure to give them an honest reply…usually I say “i am sick” or “i am tired today” or “you really don’t want to know”. I do not understand or have time for “small talk”. I find it pointless.
Elsi says
Hahhahaaa whoever write this one is doesn’t have much economical experience.. Maybe he or she just love taliking bla bla bla😂😂
At the moment Finland is much better than to live compare to America. The reason is that
1.All the kids can go to the best school in Finland coz all the school are equal. Schools are free..
2. Even the disable child can get all the facilities what is needed for daily life.
3. People are equal
4. All the health cares are free.
5. Every kids can go to daycare no matter if you are unemployment or not
6. All the citizens has a pension
7. ETC
Silvia says
Lol did you even read any of this post or just the title? Maybe have another look at the ending sentence just for a hint “And yes, this blog post is basically my version of a love letter to Finland – one of my favorite countries in the world (and yes, of course I wish I were Finnish).”
S says
All the health care is not free! Daycare is very expensive, but if you don’t have a job then it’s much cheaper/free.
Good thing is that children get free healthy lunch in schools, mainly normal food not hamburgers and pizza! 😀
FinnishGuy says
I live in Finland. I love to live there. The best schools in the world, and free. Foreigners do not know anything.
Elleonor says
I simply could not resist and I wrote my reaction. I am a Czech girl who visitided Finland for few months and now I am working in Finland.
Jumala says
I found this text pretty funny even though I’m from Finland. Saunas are for people that can appreciate the strong SISU that lies inside of all finns its not for everyone ;). Finnish people might be little bit antisocial in a smalltalk way but they have great loyalty for the few people around them. Its about the quality of the friendship not the quantity.
Bob says
This is so retarded None of these reasons made any sense I have lived in Finland for a long time and almost none of these are true also saunas are relaxing.
BigE says
Very good. I am Finnish born and was American raised(in a very Finnish household). I always knew I was different from the other Americans….shy and quiet(when a child, not now), quirky, sick sense of humor and gallows humor, very sarcastic, very competitive(does not matter what it is, think thats why Finns have odd sports and games they come up with, however they are pretty good in normal sports,auto racing, etc.). And now I am a Swedes and Russians worst nightmare, a typical stubborn patriotic Finn and at the same time loud and obnoxious, even when not drinking, hehe! Great sarcastic article!
Martin says
Althoug you recognize that Finland is not even part of Scandinavia at the end, the headline is very misleading! It is not a question of Finland not “technically” being a part of Scandinavia, in NO WAY is it a part of Scandinavia, ask anywhere in Scandinavia (Denmark, Norway and Sweden if in doubt). The fact that something is part of the Scandinavian peninsula does not make it part of Scandinavia (Denmark is not even on it, it’s part of mainland Europe) like Turkey is not part of the Balkans. In my opinion you should change that in the headline to “Nordic Country” in order to avoid spreading that misconception. In that case I would actually agree too 🙂
Man says
So, tell me how Finland (having been 700 years part of Sweden) differs from the Scandinavian countries. Is it the language (Swedish is the other official language), the law (law is based on the Swedish law) or the customs (many of them Swedish too). I have family members from Norway and Sweden and am eager to find out more. Please tell me about the differences! How is Finland NOT AT ALL Scandinavian, please educate me master. Have you EVER been to Finland yourself?
Sara says
Finland was also part of Russia over 100 years!
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Finland_under_Swedish_rule
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Grand_Duchy_of_Finland
information_man says
Scandinavian is first and foremost a linguistic adjective. Finland differs from Scandinavian countries in that the Finnish language belongs to the Uralic language group whereas languages spoken in Scandinavian countries are Scandinavian languages of the Indo-European group. There has been a lot of intermixing so the ethnic and cultural differences between nations are not so clear-cut, but the linguistic ones really are. Learn your history man.
Sincerely, fellow Finn
Linnea says
I know, I sort of thought thought they would. I might have been pretending to be one of those people… 🤥😬that was probably annoying🤣
Linnea says
don’t worry I was joking. 😜🤠
Silvia says
Oooh good, haha, SO many people have misunderstood this post and gotten angry at me for it.
Linnea says
Excuse me these are lies! My mother is from Finland and I visit very often. You do not have to go into the sauna naked, it is just cultural option. Jumping in the water helps cool off after a sauna and is a VERY fun activity in my opinion, and just because these are competitive sports, doesn’t mean that Finns are bad at other sports, for example, ice hockey and pole vault. Also cross country skiing and ski-jumping. And if you have been to Finland long enough, you will find it is a very nice country. Who cares if they’re crazy anyway?
Silvia says
I’m sorry you misunderstood the post – it’s satire, so all of these points are meant as a joke, not seriously. After all, Finland is not even a Scandinavian country 🙂
Man says
You keep repeating that Finland is not a Scandinavian country. Finland was part of Sweden for 700 years and it was Scandinavian then? Swedish still is the other official language and the legislation is based on Swedish law. What do you mean by Scandinavia anyway, the geographical area? Part of the northern Finland is Scandinavia in that sense. If you are trying to say it’s culturally not part of Scandinavia, please educate me about the habits that differ. I have family members who are Swedish and we can’t tell, maybe you know better? Otherwise, without any explanation, it sounds just plain stupid. But you are not stupid, so please tell me. Otherwise I like your writing. Keep up the good work. 🙂
Fin+Alcohol=Nor. says
I found Norwegians to be very similar to Finns.
I met bunch of Norwegians in Latvia, the only difference was that they welcomed me a lot more quickly than a Finn would. Although when we consume alcohol we are completely the same, we talk as much and behave just the same. With Swedes there’s always something that I can’t pinpoint which makes it feel like they are slightly off in some way. Yes, you Norwegians fit the stereotype of being rich, specially when you compare Norwegians to other Nordics. No matter, the gender roles were reversed and the very fine ladies bought me drinks. Bottoms up!
Ken says
I’ve lived in Finland for six months, I have a Finnish ID card and intend spending the rest of my life there. I came back back to England to settle my affairs……..and remind myself how rats live; Finland is about the same size as England but has 70 million less people.
My philosophy is…….”When in Suomi do as the Finns do”
You know when your Ginn friend is feeling more comfortable with you when instead of looking down at his shoes when he’s talking to you…..he looks at yours.
Mikis says
I scrolled down to the title picture saying Finland is located in Scandinavia.
Then I dropped down to the floor laughing out loud and could not read anymore but decided later to leave a comment instead.
Because there are hundreds of millions of reasons why AMERICANS and GEOGRAPHY do not mix very well together. The elementaries should get maps immediately, and if they already got them, someone should write some text on them. And mark the scale used. It is also important to understand the coordinates, nautical miles, distances and projections used and the difference between two and three dimensions. And it is scientifically proven Darwin really existed, but I guess it does not matter that much.
Another reason why I did not read anything above is the fact I already know Finland is one of the crappiest places in Europe, if not in America, and I do have experience for almost 40 years of that welfare living back in Finland. I have never been to US, but as a Finn I see you Americans as friends and allies, as I do see Swedes, and this post is meaningless.
I just want to write something in English. As well I would like to do in German, Swedish and Spanish, as I learned them at school but never had to use them (German, Spanish and English being optional, but had to choose some available language to start with, Swedish being mandatory for all Finnish speaking kids)
I know nothing about Norwegians though… nothing but they make jokes about Finns, like Finns do about Swedes and Swedes do about Norwegians. And I know they are lucky bastards with their yummy salmon and they do think Finns drink a lot. Which is true.
Silvia says
It’s a shame that you didn’t read past the title, as then you would have seen that my last point was that Finland isn’t even in Scandinavia! You see, this post is meant as a joke, and it’s targeted at people who say that Finland is part of Scandinavia (though from all of the comments by Finns who haven’t read this post, maybe the joke is also on people who don’t read, haha).
Sisko t heikonen says
Lol. So true. Ive lived in australia most of my life so feeel like a stranger Favourite finn regular saying. Partner ringing partner on way home from work “paanne perunat paalle”. 🕔
Kirsten says
Is it bad that your article makes me sort of want to live there? Sounds kind of fun 🙂
-Kirsten // http://www.porkandcookies.com
Catharina Sunngren says
Did you meet any swedish-speaking finns? Oh,yea, they aren´t so many in Finland.
Silvia says
Actually I spent a few days on Åland so I met a lot!
Reija says
As a Finn this is a bit boring to read the same lists over and over again, but if it makes you happy…
(gasp)
Silvia says
Haha yeah this post definitely wasn’t meant for Finns, and yet I think most of the people who have read it are Finnish! The same thing often happens when I write about Norway – Norwegians really like to read about themselves.
Onnea says
Americans always think that they are some superior God chosen nation, they can insult every nation and can attack any nation they wan’t and all things in their own country are bullshit. Nobody care about poor people, police have legal right to kill if your skin is black etc. Then u wonder why 9/11 happen.
Seppo Hovila says
Not everyone has read this. I for one.
Thanks Silvia!
Sharon Niemi says
Love this! Proud of my Finnish heritage. Will get there one day.
Silvia says
You should be proud!
Jukka Jokikokko says
Americans are weird.
My friend was visiting in US a few years ago and found a public swimming pool with sauna department. There were a Finnish electric-stove (Harvia) in sauna and he went to sauna naked, without clothes, which is only right way to go to sauna. With clothes on it is filthy and un-healthy. Americans were sitting there with their swimming suits on and small-talking without “löyly”. My friend step up and trowed water in to stove, like normally people do in sauna. Those weird Americans got panic about getting electrocuted and ran out screaming. They call cops and accused my friend for sexual harassment and manslaughter attempt. Yeah, Americans are weird.
And btw. Swimming on icy-lake is sissy version of rolling on snow without clothes.
(loved your post)
Silvia says
Hahaha that is hilarious that everyone panicked. And I actually always thought rolling in the snow was the sissy version of swimming in the lake!
ilmi johanna says
Really funny ! I’m an American, but the Finnish version. My maternal grandparents were both born in Finland. Came to America circa 1900. I grew up with sauna and listening to aiti and mummu speaking Finnish. Mom spoke Finnish before learning English in school. Finnish idiosyncrasies are a part of me …. no small talk and a love of nature and solitude, so I understand the sometimes strange personalities.
Eli says
😂😂😂 lol. That is so funny. As an American I know exactly the type of people this refers to. I myself wouldn’t call the cops I would just be like “ehhh what’s with the weird naked dude…” but as long as he wasn’t actually DOING anything weird (besides being naked) I wouldn’t care. My family was always pretty open about nudity but I know it is not accepted in US public places. It is funny how we opposite views. To me, being nude and your crotch sitting where others sit is completely unhygenic…I mean yuck. I don’t want my privates where a strangers have touched 😲
As someone who personally hates saunas and avoids them at all costs (I hate sweating and get very lightheaded) I don’t know why they would think they would get electrocuted, seems crazy lol.
BWE says
Great analysis! We tried to pull the “Hey! Finland is not a part of Scandinavia!” -trick also on our Youtube video which is also a little bit having fun with the Swedes claiming that our event is the best in Scandinavia but so far no one has commented about the fact. That’s strange!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H8ZeU3c3qUI
One thing common in all Nordic countries is that American cars are huge thing and subculture in all of them. I guess in addition to Nordics such an active “hot rodding” and classic American car scene is found in Japan and Australia but not so much in elsewhere in Europe or Asia ..or Africa.
Silvia says
Oh that is strange! And oh my goodness the cars here are such a big deal! My boyfriend loves old American cars and always has to point them out to me, haha.
hwyl says
Well, as a Finn I absolutely love the Scandinavians, they are absurdly easy to get along with. But they are often kind of, well, too “mysiga”, everything is so proper and orderly and even sickeningly nice. Those manically tended, savagely tidy Swedish gardens give me the rash… And, well, the Russians are the other extreme, everything wild and chaotic and nothing really functioning very predictably. So, we are a good combination…
Silvia says
Haha you are!
luna says
As a captain obvious I must say: Finland is NOT scandinavian country, it’s NORDIC.
Silvia says
Captain obvious because I already stated in the article that it’s not Scandinavian? Lol
Suvi says
Haha! We are a crazy bunch, welcome back any day 🙂
Silvia says
I will come back again and again!
Antti Pankakoski says
And Napue , yeah!!!
Kivanc says
Great text with sense of humour! Have you ever tried Salmiakki?! It was the weirdest thing about the country. It is a sour (somewhat spicy you can say) confectionary that they consume a lot in daily life. Come on Finland! Even a Turkish guy like myself would not prefer that spicy jelly candies.
Silvia says
Yesss I love it! We eat a lot of salty licorice in Norway too, so it wasn’t too crazy for me.
Mike Worden says
Loved this! You really hit all of the things I love about Finland and why I have been there seven times! And why I want to retire there!!! Kiitos!
Silvia says
It’s the best!
Sue Alton says
We just came back from Finland after Christmas and loved the people, the food and even the dark! If someone bumps into you without apology it is probably a Russian. Finland is an amazing country with great hockey players and warm and wonderful people! We will be back in the summer. My (Norwegian)mother used to say Swedes were Norwegians with their brains kicked out…I never understood that but seems to be a Norwegian pastime. My husband is Finn and he is also very quiet until someone opens the vodka and someone always does lol.. I worked hard at the language and actually got the accent and pronounciations but it is all memory and my memory is “senior”. Love Finland!
Silvia says
Aah I feel you on the memory thing! I would love to be able to speak some Finnish.
Lemmy Caution says
Ah, you know the old joke. Sometime in the 1950’s an old DC-3 is flying over the sea from a conference with a Finn, a Dane, a Norwegian and a Swede. There is a big storm, and the airplane is losing altitude, so the pilot says someone needs to parachute out. The guys all put parachutes on and decide to draw sticks, the Norwegian holds the matches, and the Dane draws the short one… Long Live the Queen, he cries and jumps out… The plane continues its sputtering flight, and the pilot comes to say, we need to lose more weight… So the Norwegian and Finn look at each other, take hold of the Swede and toss him out “Long live Nordic Cooperation”
Silvia says
Aaahaha amazing!
Peter says
Lovely, this is high class humor. I am an old dutch man of 83, with a long visitors experience of northern Finland, as well as Sweden en Norway.
I enyojed it very mauch. Await further gacks to amsterdam.
Thank uou.
Silvia says
So happy you enjoyed it!
Kristan says
You definitely forgot to mention Finnish candy (and food): Salmiakki, mustamakkara, mammi….it’s all delicious 🙁
Silvia says
You’re right, I did! And you’re right, it is delicious 🙂
Michele Pelkonen says
I’m an American living in Finland. I had to LOL at the clip of the Swamp Soccer (okay, football). I love sauna, although I have to say that I haven’t done the ice swimming (yet?). I have done the naked public sauna and swimming, and after a while, you’re just like, ‘meh’ on the whole body image thing. The language is absolutely confounding, because it’s not like anything else! It’s pretty logical and systematic, but since my memory is shyte, learning a new language has been a real chore. But I do love Finland, and I am glad to call it home!
Silvia says
Yeah I love how whatever being naked in Finland feels. And I would LOVE to learn Finnish someday.
Elisa says
Just thought I’d hand you this link. Enjoy learning Finnish~ https://www.infopankki.fi/en/living-in-finland/finnish-and-swedish/finnish-online
Professor says
Sadly things are getting down the hill here. The concept of Finnish honesty is kinda overrated when you see the ripoff prices. The folks don’t say anteeks. They will just bump into you, or except you to read their thoughts if you are in the way by mistake. The schools could teach this basic manner. The healthcare is going down the hill, and you are expected to go private despite you are paying for public healthcare. oh! did I mention Finnish politicians are the most corrupt in whole Nordic region? Even Greens and SDP aren’t interested to solve the problems except pushing them further, and only interested in raising the taxation. Hint: No Green/SDP politician ever objected in annual salary raise of politicians. You’d expect them to be a better right? Crimes…let’s say that criminals have more right than you. They can literally rob you, and you are not expected to use any force to shoo them away. Nopes. And, just a little part of the recent news:
“Ilta-Sanomat starts off its newsweek with a look at Finnish MPs and their track records when it comes to attending parliamentary sessions and other meetings. The most frequent absentee last year was the NCP’s Alexander Stubb with 28 missed sessions in all, the paper writes. The figures in the article do not include sick days, family leave or business trips.
Stubb’s absences began last autumn when he stepped down as Finance Minister. During the autumn term he missed nearly half of a total of 59 sessions. Another ten MPs can boast Stubb-like non-attendance levels – for instance, Greens MP Ville Niinistö also skipped practically every other parliamentary session.
When it came to committee meetings, the most absences were clocked by the Centre Party’s Timo Korhonen (away 89 percent of the time) and the NCP’s Juhana Vartiainen (78 percent).
Finns Party MP Olli Immonen, known for his affiliation with neo-Nazi organisations, was away from sessions 24 times. When asked why, he told IS: “I have my reasons. No comment.”
http://yle.fi/uutiset/osasto/news/mondays_papers_mp_absences_athletes_drinking_biathlon_bronze_norovirus_hunt/9469182
Somebody tell these morons that we are paying for their huge salaries and hefty benefits.
Seppo Hovila says
This was a bit off-topic, or out of style.
SaunaLover says
Couldn’t have agreed more! Correction, one of the worst countries in Europe for following reasons.
Finally, someone is hinting. Finns are just posting online how great the country is for tourists to visit but why?
1) Finns built human wall to keep people who fled their countries with children entering the country at the North
2) KKK burnt refugee camp.
3) Foreigners are treated bad when they have different look or skin colors, hidden racism but easier to notice.
4) Corruptions in almost every sector of the country after Nokia’s fall (Healthcare, Universities, Businesses and Parliament). Universities and Hospitals are striking, small businesses are crushed, bad management is milking big corporations until it’s dry like back in Nokia, tax scam from top to bottom level, this list can go on), sadly Finns are good at hiding these corruptions to keep it all inside, maybe these corruptions should come more to light, so it can be fixed.
5) Law doesn’t really work here but it is there to BILL the bad ones with no proper punishments where crime is repeated even by the same person (Google it), e.g: if you’re a Finn you can even get away from even a rape or stabbing someone (less than a 2 years max jail time) BUT if you’re under 18 or “mentally ill” you can go free, it’s a bad chain reaction.
6) High tax low salaries, expensive to live and educated Finns are leaving the country and succeeding more in other countries.
7) Bad public service, hospitals/education sectors don’t really work well, public funds/grants are used for stupid things (you can track the receivers and reasons from local news papers)
8) Often it’s misunderstood why Finns are quiet, it’s dark and cold most of the time in Finland, way too depressing to talk with other depressed ones, system is pressing lots of it’s own people as well, most of them are living below normal life, Finns don’t even talk with each others much, unless there’s heavy alcohol involved which is often the ice breaker.
Sadly, the country is going downhill for its continuous corruptions. It used to be much better back in the days, but it feels like everyone just kept robbing in every sector with ‘friends and relatives in crime’ and hiding it together, this continues.
Positive
Love Finland for many other reasons like clean air when there’s no constant factory smell, clean water, Nokia, Linux, Forest, bicycle roads, old legends who helped to build the country, kalevala epic, 7 brothers and cool old history such as busting Russia back to it’s place in the cold war, lakes, Sauna, those verrrry few good people left, Ice Hockey and beautiful seasonal nature.
Victoria @The British Berliner says
LOL! So funny.
And I have been to Finland although I only went to Helsinki for a few days ‘cos I was in Estonia, and I thought, Oooo. Why not? Very nice it is too.
I love the way the Finnish speak English with a sort of off-tilt American accent. Or perhaps that’s the Danish. Oops!
p.s. Yep. Finland isn’t part of Scandinavia, so I always refer to them as Nordic. Having said that, Estonia is happy to refer to itself as Nordic too. Hmm! ‘Love the post. 🙂
Suvi says
Just had to reply. I’m from Northern Finland and the only English-speaking country I’ve been to is UK. Still my Canadian friend told me that my speech sounds Irish? No clue. But honestly, most Finns(the generations up to 40yrs old) speak practicly flawless English, they’re just too timid and shy about it..
SAIJA L says
HAHAHA! I’m a Finn, and I feel so so so very sorry especially for you Americans trying to do smalltalk with us. But hey, same goes both ways: when a Finn is asked “how you doin”, they actually tell you, and it’s usually quite painfully honest, whereas in the States you just use it as a greeting!! Wtf!! 😂 You don’t even know how many times I entered a store in the US, heard “how you doin” and was ready to tell them EVERYTHING ABOUT HOW I’M DOING only to find out they’d already just walked right past me…
And yeah, I’m dating a Norwegian guy atm and it’s bliss. Someone you can just shut up with. I don’t know how to handle the skiing thing though. I haven’t done it in 10 years!! He’s APPALLED. (In other aspects, I think Norwegians and Finnish are in some ways quite alike though – at least we’re both sooo different from Swedes (and we both make fun of them).)
Silvia says
Hahaha about the skiing – it’s really kind of crazy how obsessed Norwegians are with it! And I’ve had to stop asking everyone I meet how they’re doing in Norway, because I’ve realized it’s totally weird of me, haha.
Gary says
I am an American of Finnish ancestry. My grandmother was born in Finland and my grandfather was born in the USA of Finnish-born parents. Those characteristics described are common in American-Finns as well. Silence is not peculiar and small talk is avoided.
Travel Twine says
Finland is great and we Finns can laugh at ourselves, unlike those thin skinned Norwegian ones or those cocky bastards of Stockholm. The Danes are nice with their “language of the Angels” and we dig the Icelanders… but seriously, no 1 digs the Swedes after they’ve seen their true colors or assembled (=tried to assemble) some crap from IKEA. The IKEA meat balls are nothing but cheap copies of the genuine meatballs, anyway. All the rest of the Fennoscandia can do the balls tastier than the rutabagas. Go Finland! Go Iceland! Go Denmark and go Norway! 😉
Silvia says
Hahaha love it
Becky says
I have never been to Finland, and I couldn’t stop laughing. Finland is actually on my list of places to visit. It sounds like it would definitely be an adventure!
Silvia says
It is, you should definitely go!!
Milou says
Lol, you’re too funny. You’re right though, Finland really is something else!
Silvia says
It is! Like, if it had mountains I would totally leave Norway for it.
Clazz - An Orcadian Abroad says
Ha! And here I was thinking “but I thought Finland wasn’t in Scandinavia??!”
Silvia says
Haha sorry
Eneli says
Hahhahah, this post is so on point, love it! 😀
You girl are really creative and funny!
Silvia says
Haha glad you think so!
Mark says
When you jump into that icy lake after the sauna…listen to and feel your heart beat. It slow to like 30 beats a minute…..this is ultra healthy btw
Nathaniel says
So funny
Cheryl Viuhkola-Pelletier says
If you show up unannounced to a Finn home if they don’t immediately offer you a cup of coffee…..you are not welcome.
Rimma says
Hahaha this was hilarious! Did you know, that me and Laura have actually met in Swamp Soccer World Championship? :’D
Laura / Fall into Finland says
I was about to tell this too, but I see my partner in crime already did it! 😀
Totally nailed it with this post, awesome!
PS. If you or anyone needs a couple of tips on how to communicate with Finns, check out my 5-step guide to communicating with Finns: http://www.fallintofinland.com/culture/how-to-communicate-with-a-finn/
Silvia says
Hahaha oh my goodness, love your tips!
Silvia says
Whaaat no way! Ah, you Finns!
Saana | Live now – dream later says
Haha, this was great. I was so eagerly waiting to get on the bottom, just to leave a comment saying that I’m sorry to tell you, but Finland is not a Scandinavian country. You really nailed it with climax and all, well done! 😀
Silvia says
Haha yeah, I figured a lot of people would be itching to inform me of that!
Anna Shonk says
Sorry you did not discover it…..Finland Only country to pay war debt back….cleanest country….not politically paralyzed…silence equals independence.
Vodka-finn says
Hahhah exactly the same toughts!xD
Ola says
Love it! Really had to laugh about this post
Silvia says
Then I did my job!
Laura says
Haha, I loved this list! Especially as a Dane 😉 I haven’t even visited Finland, but it’s definitely on my list. I actually just browsed for hotels and tickets for Easter. That would be awesome!
Silvia says
Oooh that would be amazing, you should do it!
Terhi says
Laura, please do come. But make sure to wear down as it is freaking cold this spring (belated, possibly neverending winter?) Sooo cool, literally!
Van says
Haha I was waiting for you to say that Finland isn’t even Scandinavia and then you sneakily put it in as the very last point – nicely done!! 😉 I actually find it so interesting though that Finland seems to combine Scandinavian and Russian cultural elements – maybe even the best of both worlds? I’ll have to go there and find out!
Silvia says
I love that combination as well – and it does seem to sort of have the best of both cultures!
Finn says
Also finland is not really part of scandinavia, so..
UnFinnished says
Bro, did you even read to the end?
Shake Juntti says
But to the fact is that the biggest cultural border line in Europe goes between Finland and Russia.
https://www.hofstede-insights.com/product/compare-countries/
http://www.worldvaluessurvey.org/images/Culture_Map_2017_conclusive.png
Finland (East Sweden) was a part of Sweden for 700 years. Sweden lost Finland as a mandatory part of Russia in 1809. However, Russia moved the capital to Helsinki because Turku/ Åbo (The old capital of Finland) was too strong and close to Stockholm. At that time, the Russians built some monuments and a Russian church in Helsinki, which you can still see in the city tour. The Russian influence especially in architecture makes Helsinki cool and people are usually very proud of it. 😀 Norwegian has Russian influences as well. They have a Russian border as Finnish do. They even shared a common language together. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Russenorsk
Nynke says
Nice list! I have to say, picturing you small-talking frantically is very funny… But poor you! Maybe you should come back some time and try harder to channel your inner quiet person… Would that work?
Silvia says
Haha yeah and I’m not really a big talker, so I don’t know how my other Americans would deal in Finland. Next time I will try to embrace the quiet!
Mörköläenen says
Come Northern Savo and you don’t get to say almost nothing, as we are know to be very talkative. I remember when my kid brother’s girlfriend from Lapland was here first time and she just looked in confusion as our family did talk loudly over each other and talking at least 3 different subjects while eating like pack of hyenas… And we actually do small talk. Savonians are also known to be very crooked because we don’t give definent answers and other finns don’t understand our dialect.
M says
Yeah, when someone from Savo speaks – the responsiblity lies on the listener 😀 (I am half-Savo myself). The eastern parts are great to visit anyways – beautiful scenery and amazing people.