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Anonymous asked: I think it's really upsetting to see a lesbian blog post that sexual fluidity is better than labelling. I'm a 16 year old lesbian who has struggled so much with admitting to myself that I'm exclusively attracted to women, and yet the I'm supposed to believe that it's scarier to come out as dating a man than a woman to certain groups ?? Sexual fluidity should not be pushed on people, if someone says they're a lesbian why would you try and tell them it's better to keep your options open?

fuckyeahlesbianliterature:

homodemons replied:

biandlesbianliterature:

I don’t at all believe that sexual fluidity is better than labelling (and those aren’t opposing things, either). The post was about how people experience sexuality and romantic attraction differently, and that we should accept the whole diversity of it.

Absolutely no one should be telling you that you will or should experience sexual fluidity, or that you can’t identify as a lesbian, or that your exclusive attraction to women is not valid, or that you should “keep your options open”.

Some people experience sexual fluidity. Not all people! And it’s not something that you can convince yourself of, or change about yourself. It’s something that happens to some people organically. Just because some people experience sexual fluidity should not mean that all people should or even can. 

Acknowledging that there are people who identified as a lesbian and later experienced attraction to men does not mean that somehow lesbians don’t exist. Acknowledging sexual fluidity does not mean that no one can have an identity that doesn’t include fluidity, or that lesbians’ identities shouldn’t be respected. This isn’t a zero-sum game. The goal is for everyone’s experiences of sexual and romantic attraction, everyone’s identities to be respected, not swapping out one set of restrictive rules for another.

to be fair to anon, esp as a young lesbian, there is definitely pressure to be “fluid” or to “change” later in life and thats really fucked up, especially for lesbian youth that are insecure as it is- that being said, it does apply to certain people, and we must come to some kind of balance between peoples true lived experiences and how similar narratives may be pushed on others- the latter doesnt deny the existence of the former