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Good Manners are the "Power the Dark Lord Knows Not"

28

Good Manners are the "Power the Dark Lord Knows Not"

Harry getting through things where he should really die, by being polite. When Harry talks to the Basilisk, he's really respectful and polite, so the Basilisk bites the Diary for him and slithers off. He asks the Dementors kindly to capture Pettigrew and not hurt Sirius, so they do (But he escapes, Incompetent Ministry or whatever) He asks the Dragon "Please can i have the Golden Egg" so the Dragon gives it to him. Asks the Mermaids for the Hostage, and asks the creatures in the maze to touch the Portkey with him because it all seems too suspicous, so Wormtail vs Skrewt/Sphinx/Boggart/Acromantula, and Voldemort dies.

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The cauldron was simmering, sending its diamond sparks in all directions, so blindingly bright that it turned all else to velvety blackness. Nothing happened ...

Let it have drowned, Harry thought, let it have gone wrong ...

And then, suddenly, the sparks emanating from the cauldron were extinguished. A surge of white steam billowed thickly from the cauldron instead, obliterating everything in front of Harry, so that he couldn’t see Wormtail or Cedric or anything but vapour hanging in the air ... it’s gone wrong, he thought ... it’s drowned ... please ... please let it be dead .... - Excerpt from Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire

Then suddenly an inhuman scream echoed through the graveyard. A black shadow rose from the cauldron and flew away into the night sky. The steam settled and Harry could see clearly again. The cauldron was still there, the liquid inside sat calmly. To the right, Wormtail was lying on the ground, motionless.

Huh...that went well, Harry thought.

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232

Draco convinces Harry that all the members of Slytherin are Nobility and that he's the Potter Heir TM and therefore teachers must treat him with respect and he has to show the appropriate level of deference to those with more impressive families than his. Like the Malfoys. Dumbledore immediately panicks because Harry is a phenomenally rude boy with delusions of grandeur and assumes he's the next Voldemort. Equally concerning is his insistence on practicing Winter Solstice ceremonies that no one has heard of instead of Christmas like everyone else.

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Harry is humiliated in the Daily Prophet after it's revealed he's been arrested after spending 4 hours at Gringotts telling every goblin that he's their ally and he hopes their swords drip with the blood of their enemies. This did not result in goblins being nicer to him.

Harry fails his second year classes after he spends the entire year using an ill-fitted wand he didn't win that he bought in Knockturn Alley because Nott convinced him he needed an "untraceable wand rather than a ministry provided one from Olivanders"

Dumbledore gets seriously worried about Harry after Harry screams at him in front of the entire Great Hall that he demands to be emancipated and freed from his evil relatives, now aware that Dumbledore only sent him there so he could steal his fortune by acting as his Magical Guardian. Dumbledore explains he was just sent to his closest relative because that's generally what happens, he has no fortune in secret hidden vaults and there's no such thing as a Magical Guardian.

Harry decides to run away in defiance of this obvious lie and has to return a week later because he has no usable skills and the centaurs creep him out as it turns out they're actually just weird horse people not genius seer's. He couldn't find the famed Potter Manor because it's not real, his parents lived in a cottage because they weren't that rich.

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When reading older fanfiction sometimes you come across relics of early fandom, Fanon names for Luna's parents, alternate horcruxes, or the Hermione Jean/Jane debacle, but sometimes you come across something that seems SUPER strange in retrospect. Here are my favorites that I've seen.

A H/Hr fic written between GOF and OotP had a gem in the beginning authors note to the effect of: "Don't worry Krum is not in this fic."

A fic written between OotP and HBP where Mundungus Fletcher was described as an all around good guy that had a moment of bad judgement getting drunk on the job once. He even was the one to shuttle around the Black estate after Sirius died.

Anyone else have anything like this? I'd love to see it.

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Credit to u/ForwardDiscussion for the idea

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Optionally Harry left the Dursleys before going to Hogwarts and Dudley finds out later that Harry's freakishness and his daughter's magic are the same thing.

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...Dumb-ass-dor and Vulturewarts, and all the other mocking names for the Enemy in fanfic.

These aren't cute.

These are cringe.

Please stahp.

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I mean fics where jumping around in a duel makes your spell work sloppy so you shouldn't do it.

Where it turns out guns are ineffective.

Please no death eater whitewashing.

Also, this is a request thread. No arguing the prompt isn't canon.

Edit: Meant to say whitewashing. Your replies are hilarious though... I'm glad I didn't mess up mugglewank.

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I didn't used to notice this but I've been seeing a lot of recent posts where the entire thread is nuked for some reason.

Have there been mod changes or rule changes I'm unaware of?

I had always thought rule 9 to only be against bashing someone for the prompt but it's being used to completely remove any sort of discussion.

I feel like already the community is not as big as it used to be so if a few people do an impromptu fanfic session in a request thread or a discussion that doesn't bash the OP, what's the harm?

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Just as it says.. fics where Harry recognizes and realizes the unworthiness of Adults in his life, especially the ones who were supposed to take care of him.

Examples include him unwilling to forgive them or just not responsive to their attentions which he deems as too late. (Not looking for Harry joins Voldemort)

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Rule 9 now states:

No Request thread bashing. Do not utilize a request thread to make negative commentary on the subject or linked fics. Note: If the requestor has marked the request thread [No Discussion], all comments besides links to fics will be removed.

The rule change is not as far as some people wanted, but I think it's a fair compromise.

Regarding the [No Discussion] tags: I am going to respect this when people mark it, but I will refrain from using it myself. I'd implore you all to do the same.

Let's thank our mods for taking an honest look at this. I appreciate you guys.

Edit: Regarding this:

Do not utilize a request thread to make negative commentary on the subject or linked fics.

I've spoken to /u/the-phony-pony and they reassured me that this was not intended to disallow a negative review/discussion of writing quality or opinion, and the wording will be looked at to remove any such ambiguity.

  • You may say <Fic Title> is a Hinny, but I disliked it for various reasons

  • You may not say <Fic Title> is a disgusting piece of trash and you’re sick if you enjoy it

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I'm currently reading Thank You Ms Bones Linkffn(3230439)

And while i enioy the story Old Crow has the bad habbit of adding tidbits at the end of his chapters where Minerva talks to him and is like "oh jolly good job posting this story we are ever so thankful"

And it just is starting to grate on me as a reader and i know for a fact he isn't the only author who does something like this...

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I've been thinking about this topic. Most often fics will present pureblood prejudice as just blatant, ill-informed racism (as per the books). What if there was more to it? And not in the: "they destroy our culture" vane like most fics that promote purebloods do. But in a more subtle and perhaps more meaningful way.

We all remember in the Deathly Hallows how Ron was talking about wizarding traditions, fairy tales and culture, while they were staying in the tent and Hermione and Harry had no idea what he was talking about? Why not expand on that? Let me elaborate.

Consider the Wizarding World as a different culture, a different species even. They learn from the moment they were born what wands are, what wands can do. They understand the destructive power of magic. That it can kill, maim or at least severely injure a person (Janus Thickey Ward anyone?). Therefore, they treat a wand, any wand, with respect and with the reverence due. They understand that pointing a wand at someone is the equivalent of what we would call as pointing a gun (considering the spells they learn in school, pretty much on point).

Now imagine those wand-conscious kids, who all know how dangerous magic can be, who encounter the fascinated and gob-smacked muggleborns that treat their wands as toys, pointing them at everyone and casting silly spells. Wouldn't that be a more grounded reason for racism that the canon one, or the "destroying our culture" as often seen in fanfiction?

Of course it's not perfect (e.g. teachers handing out detentions), or why the muggleborns aren't given very stern lectures about wand safety, etc.... but it's an interesting concept, I think.

Heh... what do you all think?

EDIT: This is, of course, an AU scenario, not a canon justification for the discrimination. I thought I made it clear, but I believe it bears repeating. In canon JKR world pureblood prejudice is based on nothing at all.

EDIT 2: Jesus Christ! All the downvoting. People, I only wanted to talk about a hypothetical in a fantasy scenario, not a talk about racism (this is not a subreddit for that). Racism is bad. People who are racist are evil. Nice... can we move on? This is not me being facetious, racism is always wrong. I just don't think it is a proper topic in this particular scenario.

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