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It’s difficult to properly eulogize the Undertaker’s career because it feels like we’ve been slowly doing that for years, as each Wrestlemania raised new questions about his ability to carry on.  Now that the end is finally here, though, something should be said.

I started watching WWE about a year before Taker debuted, and I cannot adequately explain what it like hearing about him right after Survivor Series 1990.  No rock music, no neon colors.  No weaknesses for the good guys to exploit.  No passion for anything that would be his undoing.  The only thing that really did make sense was that anybody managed by that jerkface Brother Love had to be seriously bad news.  He didn’t fit in with what I understood about pro wrestling.  Looking back, that was because he would help change what pro wrestling was.

My brothers and I were fascinated with the Undertaker.  How do you beat a guy that’s already dead?  People would hit him with foreign objects and he wouldn’t flinch.  One time Greg Valentine put him in the figure-four leglock and he just laid there like he didn’t care.  I needed to make sense of this guy, figure out how his magic worked.  At some point I came to realize that there were no answers, that the enduring mystery was the real source of his psychological advantage.

I’ve seen Undertaker described as the gimmick to end all gimmicks.  Not that that stopped promoters from trotting out all manner of wrestling plumbers, wrestling dentists, and wrestling revenuers.  But most of them had to square off with the Undertaker, which ensured that all of them looked ridiculous trying to compete with a wrestling angel of death.  I think that situation encouraged the trend, beginning in the late ‘90s, of wrestlers being presented as athletes first and “here’s my shtick to psyche-out my opponents” second.  By 2000, that trend was starting to make Taker himself look ridiculous.

Undertaker had a sort of second career at that point, where the character was less about being goth Frankenstein than the aura of work ethic and respect that surrounded a legendary company man.  The awe of associating him with the spectre of death sort of took a back seat to the awe of knowing that nothing you did would ever overshadow this man’s career.  Even if you managed to beat the Undertaker, the odds were pretty good that he’d outlast you.

It’s tough to pinpoint exactly where Taker went into decline, but for me the symbolic turning point was Wrestlemania XXVII, where the angle was that he could beat Triple H but couldn’t walk out under his own power.  It was kayfabe to set up a rematch the following year, but it injected a new kind of mortality into the character–it became a legitimate question whether Undertaker still had it, whether he’d have to lose soon because he might retire at any time.  After a lackluster performance at the 2017 Royal Rumble, I think everyone kinda knew his time was up.  Better to go out now than to wait another year, chasing the perfect finale.

This isn’t the first time the Undertaker has left his gloves in the ring, so some part of me believes this may not really be the end.  I hope it is, though.  I want to know this guy gets to enjoy retirement and undergoes whatever surgeries he’s been putting off.  I want to see the day when he can do interviews out of character, and talk about the sacrifices he made for his art.  Mark Calaway has been the Undertaker for just over 26 years.  It’s high time he gets to be just an ordinary man.

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Wrestlemania 34 Results: Seth Rollins def. The Miz and Finn Bálor to become the new Intercontinental Champion

NEW ORLEANS — Seth Rollins walked into WrestleMania last year under the gold banner of a Kingslayer. This year, he walked in with the blue eyes of The Night King, and fittingly enough, he brought winter with him.

The Architect is now Intercontinental Champion for the first time, snapping the eighth reign of the preening champion The Miz and denying Finn Bálor to join joined his Shield brothers as a Grand Slam Champion.

If there was one advantage for the incumbent titleholder Miz, it was that Bálor and Rollins were drawn to each other throughout the entire match, fittingly enough given the long rivalry that has recently reignited. Miz, who had hoped to pit the two of them against each other to bolster his own chances, found a lot of success as a spoiler, pouncing with a Skull-Crushing Finale to Rollins, torturing Bálor in the Figure-Four Leglock and catching an airborne Rollins with a bulldog off the top rope.

To his credit, he also dismissed The Miztourage from ringside prior to the opening bell, preferring to go it alone in order to set an example for his newborn daughter, Monroe Sky. As it turns out, he could have used them.

Rollins was a force of nature, appearing without warning and striking without mercy. He broke up the Figure-Four to Bálor by Frog-Splashing Miz, and, crucially, he had no problem biding his time until the opportune moment. That turned out to be after Bálor had landed a pair of Coup de Grâces to The Miz, one to the back and one to the chest. When The Extraordinary Man attempted to cover the champion, Rollins swooped in with a stomp that took Finn out of the running. As Miz struggled to his knees, Seth tuned up the band and administered a second stomp to The A-Lister to win the title.

Now Rollins, who has seemed like a new man since a record-setting Gauntlet Match in February, has the gold to back it up. The Kingslayer has claimed the throne. Say hello to Seth Rollins, Intercontinental Champion, first of his name. Long may he reign.

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It's no secret how much I love Dean Ambrose...

…but if I was to point out the exact moment when I realised I was fatally and irrevocably in love with that lunatic psycho sociopath…. it was the moment when Dean locked in that bridging figure-four leglock on Erick Rowan.

Because despite how simple that move looks, it is actually freakin’ hard to not only lock it in, but to also make it look good. 

And Dean Ambrose - long legs and all in that sexy denim prison that just screams FUCK YO’ OVARIES - has most definitely got that move locked down.

DAMN.

Fucking beautiful, I tell you.

You'll never be bored again.