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Embarrassment and humiliation ARE almost identical, but I did want to show some nuanced differences. Glad you all are able to see them.
Interestingly, I also humiliate with love. When someone wants me to be cruel, I almost always have to send them to someone else. I have this weird thing about wanting to preserve someone's psyche and inner acceptance. It is challenging/impossible for me to be horrible to someone that I think will linger through their day and lives.
Now, I get that I am being PAID to do it. I get that many get OFF on being humiliated and absolutely adore it. It's probably MY issue, not theirs, but so be it.
I am much better at humiliating now than when I started here 4 years ago. Then, I couldn't do it at all. It was just too difficult. Now, I try and have a good time with it... but for those who have had me do a humiliation call with them, they know I almost always end the call saying how great the person is and how much I care for them. I want people to leave feeling good about themselves.
Is this weird?
I don't think that is weird, Ms. Daphne. Humiliatrices have their limits, too.
For me, all a bit of voluntary verbal humiliation is for me is a sexy addition to whatever other sexy activities that I'm getting up to with my partner. It's nothing that I require.
In this, for me, it's no different than the "dirty talk" that many women enjoy while making love.
I've had a discussion with Ms. Harper on this topic and we both agreed that the reason this "dirty talk" thing even works in the first place as a source of eroticism is due to the inherent physical vulnerability contained within the feminine lovemaking role. That is, as the feminine partner, one receives a sexual member into one's body and one receives bodily fluids.
Well, that's a very vulnerable and potentially "degraded" act (as these things are often accounted). Also, it's a source of "weakness" (again, as these things are often accounted).
Whereas try to imagine that "dirty talk" working in the other direction. "Oh, you massive, competent stud of a male! Give me your freakishly oversized member, you pussy-hungry man-slut!"
It doesn't quite work out the same in the eroticism department. Again, because the vulnerability isn't there. The "dirty talk" works in the woman's case because she's working out her own notions sluttishness, sexual receptiveness, and physical vulnerability. Those notions are based in a sense of fear, and not a necessarily-unreasonable fear, since there is an actual basis of reality to them. Quite frankly, a horrific basis to them.
Yet the way the human mind works is that it often takes these senses of fear and flips them on their head into an eroticized state, particularly fears associated with one's sexual self-worth. Often these are fears which cut to the core of one's sense of personhood, since the issues revolving around sexuality tend to be by far the most personal of issues.
Whereas just the mere act of direct physical erotic stimulation tends to be interpreted by the brain as an intrinsically pleasurable sensation. Thus, psychologically and hence also neurologically what often occurs is that humans take various traumas to their sense of sexual self-worth and hence of personhood and eroticize them such that the human brain can receive signals of pleasure rather than pain from them.
Interestingly, this is in a sort of way what the greatest works of art also do. Take the genre of science fiction, for example. The greatest stories of the genre, of the dystopian subset, are not actually warnings about the future, but rather are warnings about the present. The technocratic dystopia has already existed for many millennia, ever since mankind's dark and murky beginnings, as anyone who questioned the gods of the tribe would be quickly and brutally eliminated.
The reason these epic stories resonate on such a deep soul-level with humans is that they are giving a partial articulation to great horrors which we know on the subconscious level, but which our naturally-evolved psychological biology mostly protects us from on the conscious level, since historically speaking, about the surest way to be quickly and bloodily removed from the gene-pool was to start speaking truths which called into question the tribe's ways. Thus, our own biology lies to us. It psychologically protects us from the full grand horror of our existence as naturally-evolved mortal animals.
Though it would be a falsity to imagine that the writers of these epic stories even consciously grasp half of what it is that they are writing, for they do not. They do grasp some of it, yet their biology works to shield even their minds from the full exquisite horror of it all. Yet by allowing a bit of space for their subconsciousness to resonate within their own hearts, they are able to come into partial contact with deep-penetrating truths. And that is enough: that slight, partial contact with their own subconscious is enough for them to write epic tales that resonate within people's souls the world over, within every culture.
What would be truly astounding is if an artist were able to consciously grasp what is actually occurring on the deep soul-level with these stories, and why it is that they resonate so profoundly. Then that artist could begin to craft a tale with elements chosen for specific effect. It would almost be like painting by the numbers--the story would virtually write itself.
Yet such an artist may well not choose movies, novels, music or paintings as their medium. Perhaps, in coming into this realization, that artist will choose a bigger canvas. The type of art that this artist would choose would be a completely new form of art, one previously undreamt of. One might call it a form of performance art, but quite unlike any performance before.
And this artist would have to act alone, in order to ensure the exact execution of their art. So original would this art be that this artist could not rely on anyone else to even comprehend what it is that they are doing--at least until the grand finale, the final reveal.
This quite-peculiar performance-art that this artist puts on would be freely available to all, and this artist would ensure that it is readily-accessible across the globe at any given time, such as by using the internet as part of the canvas. Because what this artist desires above all is for humans to come into deep comprehension of their own selves, such that others may then begin writing their own stories, with full consciousness and specific effect.
I long for the day such an artist visits our planet. It would be as if an extraterrestrial had arrived.
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