Star Seeker (jurann) wrote,
Star Seeker
jurann

Nostalgia...

     So in the last couple days I've been looking up family and long lost friends and loves from years past on Facebook and Twitter and such. I'm thinking that maybe my malaise of late might be from a lack of being connected with what is the core of life for most people: family and the people they grew up with. I've been finding everyone: who loved me, who hated me, who were my best friends, who were my worst enemies, and family members who are glad to talk to me and others who aren't so much.
     What's amazing to me is just how RELIGIOUS most of them are. I certainly grew up a Bible-thumper myself and in that territory, but I guess I expected that, like me, they'd have mostly grown past it like I did as they got older. But no, many of them got married years and years ago and most have kids - and almost all of them are avid churchgoers.
     I'm in a strange position because I care about them and would love to reconnect with a lot of them, but I worry that my personal beliefs and lifestyle may be too far away from anything they find acceptable. I've already had some lengthy discussions with a couple of my religious sisters and explained my perspective as a Secular Humanist and they've been pretty okay with things, though much like Dad they keep bringing up religious topics with me. I guess I can deal with that a little, I understand where they're coming from. But less and less I find myself willing to humor theological discussion since it's mythology to me and it hurts to see people taking it seriously and making poor decisions for themselves and their lives based on mythos.
     I understand they are either from or still in the midwest, and there's not much MORE to do there than go to church twice or more each week to socialize and be around people who care about them. I just wonder if who I am these days can have any meaningful connection to their lives considering that I'm not able to be a part of that routine. And perhaps some of my loneliness these days stems from the fact that we Secular Humanists, Atheists and other non-believers don't have a community gathering system like Christian churches. We don't have like-minded, caring people who we congregate with and associate with and befriend for our basic human needs...

And that's sad.
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Yes I too feel somewhat disconnected from most of my family. For now I have a lot of furry friends to fill some one the void, but even that is starting to feel thin. I wonder what I will do when I am older.
Yep, I'm in that "older" place now. And finally realizing after a lot of years of wrapping myself up in fandom and my career, that I miss some of the old comforts of life I found in churches. And I've always known that, from a historical perspective, the "church" is a core community feature to healthy and strong American communities. That's the kind of community I grew up in, and it's a model that worked for me. Even though it wasn't really sating/quenching my spiritual or belief needs, it was giving me love and community and social interaction - an extended family if you will.

Along that note, I think I may have found what I'm looking for in the form of the Universalist Unitarian Church, so I'm gonna drop by the San Jose church this Sunday and see what's what there. I've been declaring myself a Secular Humanist for the last few years, and their beliefs and values are pretty similar and in-line with my own. So I'm hoping to connect with similar minds and mentalities there and find some community to get involved with.

Ironically you mention furry kinda filling the void of 'family' or 'community', and indeed it gave ME enough to barely squeak by on myself for many years. But after moving to California I came to realize just how fickle a family it is, and how its support cannot be relied on. I figured that I would be welcomed and accepted into the furry community here because it's huge and diverse and well-established (i.e. secure), but I've found anything BUT that here. Don't get me wrong, I don't mean to slight any of the few friends I HAVE made here so far, but in all sincerity those friendships for the most part have been of terribly thin substance and depth. Yourself and Pepe seem like great, open-minded and similarly-aligned people with my own thinking, but I just never see you guys.
Well you should ask to come over then, or invite us there!
After pretty much doing that every weekend for a couple months and Pepe saying you guys always have plans or are too busy, I kinda gave up. I mean, *I* never have ANYTHING to do, so I just told Pepe to get a hold of me when you guys find time... =/
Oh yeah well I was cleaning out my mom's house since she passed away and getting it ready to rent. That took like... a year. I still have a ton of stuff that needs to be parted with. I'm somewhat less busy now. You kept calling when we were not in the area.

That's all over with and I spend most of my time at home now.
Ah, okay. Well, I have no plans this Saturday evening, and I think most of Sunday is free too. =)
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