...who just got a Tribes: Ascend BETA key?

THIS ASSHOLE THAT'S WHO!

The last journal apparently got spread around quite fast it seems. I am not going to take it down as that is simply hiding the facts.

Yes I am an ass when I choose to be. Though now I likely have throngs of people against me. I can't say I blame you as I would do the same.

Words that were said during the heat of anger cannot be unsaid or undone. If I could go back in time and stop myself I would, though that is what everyone wishes they could do.

Alas this is my mess and I am the one who has to deal with it.

That is all I have to say to you. You already have lots of pics with your character with the kiroban holder but you couldn't wait or resist, or even be a gentleman and let someone else have a chance.

I hope you are pleased with yourself you selfish boy.

I could keep it to myself and just not post this, but I am tired of being a nice guy. I feel like being a bastard and a jerk so I wish you pain and suffering.

Edit: I know I am being a sore loser by posting this, but one thing I detest more in any competition is a bad winner; smug, disrespectful and condescending towards the runners up.

Be it Kiribans, StarCraft II or a football game.

EDIT2: As a commenter pointed out; it seemed very biased for the person's best friend to end up the winner and looks very much in bad form.

tagged me with this one

Kissed any one of your Facebook friends? --- no
Been arrested? --- no
Kissed someone you didn't like? --- yes
Slept in until 5 PM? --- Yes, though keep in mind I work nights so...does it really matter?
Fallen asleep at work/school? --- yes
Ran a red light? --- yes
Been suspended from school? --- no
Experienced love at first sight? --- yes
Totalled your car in an accident? --- no
Been fired from a job? --- no
Fired somebody? --- no
Sang karaoke? --- no
Pointed a gun at someone? --- no
Done something you told yourself you wouldn't? --- yes
Laughed until something you were drinking came out your nose? --- no, but laughed so hard I overcame my chewing reflex and spat potatochips over the room
Caught a snowflake on your tongue? ---yes
Kissed in the rain? --- no
Had a close brush with death (your own)? --- no
Seen someone die? --- no
Played spin-the-bottle? --- Yes
Sang in the shower? --- yes
Sat on a rooftop? --- yes
Taken pictures of yourself naked? --- yes
Been pushed into a pool with all your clothes? --- yes
Skipped school? --- no
Eaten a bug? --- no
Sleepwalked? --- no
Walked a moonlit beach?--- no
Ridden a motorcycle? --- no
Dumped someone? --- no
Forgotten your anniversary? --- no
Lied to avoid a ticket? --- no
Ridden on a helicopter? --- no
Shaved your head? --- no
Blacked out from drinking? --- no
Played a prank on someone? --- no
Hit a home run? --- no
Felt like killing someone? --- ... yes
Cross-dressed? --- NO NO AND NO
Been falling-down drunk? --- no
Made your girlfriend/boyfriend cry? --- no
Eaten a snake? --- no
Marched/Protested? --- no
Had Mexican jumping beans for pets? --- no
Puked on amusement ride? --- no
Seriously & intentionally boycotted something? --- no
Been in a band? --- no
Knitted? --- no
Been on TV? --- yes
Shot a gun? --- yep
Skinny-dipped? --- no
Caused someone to need stitches? --- no
Ridden a surfboard? --- no
Drank straight from a liquor bottle? --- yes
Had surgery? --- no
Streaked? --- yes
Taken by ambulance to hospital? --- no
Passed out when not drinking? --- no
Peed on a bush? --- no
Donated Blood? --- no
Grabbed electric fence? --- no
Eaten alligator meat? --- no
Eaten cheesecake? --- yes
Eaten kids' Halloween candy? --- yep
Killed an animal when not hunting? --- Yes, in that I've stepped on ants/spiders/cockroaches
Peed your pants in public? --- no
Written graffiti? --- no
Still love someone you shouldn't? --- Yes; Taylor Snow, you're a goddamn slut and don't know a thing about being a proper sub...but I just can't get you off my mind and I can't go a day without talking to you.
Think about the future? --- yes
Been in handcuffs? --- no
Believe in love? --- yes
Sleep on a certain side of the bed? --- no

I think that about sums it up, I dunno who to tag!

Wow...I dunno what to say but...

THANK YOU ALL!

I don't know the answer to that question honestly. I thought I did at one point but now I am not so sure. I listed people on FA that I thought were friends because they lent a kind ear to me when I needed to talk with someone.

I since realized I was just beige selfish and misguiding myself; they were simply being nice because they are nice people. Not one time did anyone of them call me friend directly in any conversation I can recall. Nor have any of them actually reached out to me on their own, only responding to me.

I wish I had friends. Some people to talk with and have fun times with online and offline. People who actually try to hold a conversation with you rather than give one liner responses that are vague and easily able to respond to well.

I have tried to make friends but I just seem to alienate apple more than draw in when I am feeling social. I am kinda ashamed to admit I have my best social interactions online leading into an RP or during an (E)RP encounter on IM or WoW.

I see people have their status set as an away so I respect that and leave people be. Though if someone is being distant every time I say hello and I ask if something is wrongwith and they deny it, I feel like I am being lied to. If there is one thing I hate the most in the World more than anything else, it is being lied to. I do not lie to you, Id expect the same, even if it hurts my feelings.

I guess I have no friends, so that field will remain blank until I actually feel someone sees me as a friend, as I don't want to be a burden or creepy person misinterpreting things.

TL;DR - GO BACK AND READ THE WHOLE THING YOU LAZY SACK OF SHIT OR GTFO.

I don't get it. Everyone I have tried to chat with today via IM or IRC ir even with notes recently is very short, curt and direct in their responses. I just want to converse anit, tty and be social.


Yet in my attempts to do so I keep getting basic responses thar don't leave much room for followup interaction. While nothing is said overtly it feels like the implied message is "leave me the fuck alone."

I am starting to feel like it is wrong for me to try and socialize given these responses. Am I wrong for thinking that when I get basic, uninvolved responses from more than one person something is wrong with me?

I just want to be friendly and get to know people a little more. Though it seems I am lacking something that makes other people want to talk.

Also just for the record everyone says I am fine too, but when everyone is being frosty and saying nothing is wrong; it makes me wonder why I should bother trying.

PS: This is not aimed at anyone specifically; I am just using my own journal to express what I am feeling st the moment.

Taken from...too many people I can't remember which one I linked to ot from

Passionate

You are in touch with your emotions, and sometimes you react before you think. The good news: you don't tamp down your feelings. The bad news: you sometimes say or do things that you later wish you could take back.

You do not live your life on an even keel; you do not go for long periods without experiencing some mood swings.

Solitary

You are a private person, not very comfortable in a big group, and view excessive socializing as a waste of time.

You not prefer hanging out with others to spending time alone; you do not tend to feel at home in a crowded room, club, stadium, or auditorium.

Emotional

You let it all hang out, and those around you always know what you're going through.

You are not isolated from your emotions; no one would call you "cold-blooded," or even "cool as a cucumber."

Rash

You get excited easily, allow yourself to react without censoring your feelings, and sometimes blurt out the first thing that comes to mind.

You generally don't consider what you're about to say before you open your mouth to speak.

Volatile

You go with the flow when it comes to your emotions. Whether you're happy or sad, you show it, and when something upsets you, or you're feeling stressed out, those around you will know it right away.

You are not necessarily the one person in any group who can be depended on to stay calm, cool, and collected in a crisis; you aren't known for keeping your emotions under wraps.

Intellectual

You are thoughtful, rational, and comfortable in the world of ideas. People find you interesting to talk to. You're the living embodiment of the saying "You learn something new every day." In general, those with a high score on the "intellectual" trait are employed in such fields as teaching and research, and are enthusiastic about reading, foreign films, and classical music.

You do not avoid abstract conversation, experimenting with new ideas, or studying new things. It bores you to stick to the straight and narrow of what you already know.

Curious

You like to get to the bottom of things. You're not content knowing what someone did; you want to know why they did it.

You don't simply take things as they are and move on; you're not content skimming along on the surface; you don't feel you're wasting time by digging for the meaning of things.

Unsettled

You may be comfortable on your home turf, but you have a tendency to be self-conscious in an unfamiliar environment. While you're usually at ease with your friends, you can be a little skittish around strangers.

You usually don't feel at home in unfamiliar settings or with new people. When you get rattled, you don't necessarily recover instantly.

Pessimistic

You tend to be a "glass half-empty" kind of person, which for you is simply a realistic outlook. Your feeling is that this world can be a depressing place, and only a fool would think otherwise.

You do not waste your time searching for the silver lining in every cloud, nor do you believe it's your job to cheer up the people around you with happy talk.

Creative

You are good at solving problems, coming up with original ideas, and seeing connections between things, connections that most other people miss. People with a high score on the "creative" trait often are employed in such fields as finance and scientific research, and enjoy avant garde and classical music as well as literary fiction and scholarly non-fiction.

You do not shun abstractions and concepts in favor of the concrete and tangible.

Huzzah, I guess I've had a few hits here and there. Just wish I could afford to celebrate it like everyone else does.

I have had a recent influx of watchers lately and I haven't thanked you all individually. Hopefully this makes up for that misstep in some small way.

In other news holy hell I am near 5000 page views! If only I could afford a Kiriban.

"Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me."

That is how the phrase goes, I took it to mean that one can do all kinds of physical harm to another, but words can never hurt another person's spirit.

I found out just now that this is not the case. Words CAN hurt, especially so if one goes thoughtlessly carrying about. Just as in the real world, once words have left your screen once you hit that send button, they are out there. Like a tube of toothpaste, as one person said, you can't put the paste back in the tube. For good or for naught, its out there in the world.

Someone today gave me a very thoughtful and heartwarming gift; in turn I gave an overly harsh criticism that didn't reflect my true feelings on the matter. I grew up with ADHD, and it still affects me as an adult. I do things that are stupid in social situations. I make faux pax, a great number. Yet each experience helps me to better myself, so that I don't repeat the same mistake.

Today I was, I very much was an asshole, which disabled or not, I have no right to be.

I love the work, I truely do. I appreciate the heart and soul that went into the piece and I hope still to see it come to completion. I know my words caused hurt, and I can't undo what I said. All I can do is work to prove that one statement made in haste does not equal my whole feelings on the matter.

If you are reading this, once again I am sorry for my hurtful words earlier. I hope that we can work to rebuild what I so selfishly trashed, so that we can continue to be friends.

EDIT: I am keeping this up here as a marker, perhaps a bit of wisdom that can be a reminder to myself and to others about how thoughtless comments can be hurtful.

I suppose now I have a good bit of yin and yang going on.

Wheras I have already Ulryc which is prominately featured, as well as Cronus to a lesser extent. I now have a female character designed originally by  Orange04

Her name was Desirae and I think for now I'll keep it that way.

Here's a link to her image:

http://www.furaffinity.net/view/4593645

Now if I only knew what to do with her...heh...

Someone told me today that I actually gave them the creeps...can't say I wasn't entirely offended but I was startled. I try to not be creepy in my interactions with others but now I have to wonder...

For those of you I have talked with before...am I creeping you out?

Stolen from practically everyone.

LAYER ONE : THE OUTSIDE
- Name: Rob/Shadow/Ulryc
- Eye Color: Blue
- Hair Style/Color: Dark Brown, short
- Clothing style: T-shirt and cargo shorts or jeans
- Best physical feature: I dunno honestly.

LAYER TWO: THE INSIDE
- Your fears: Being alone; abandoned/used emotionally
- Your guilty pleasure: Food, (E)RP
- Your biggest pet peeve: Not being able to follow basic instruction; not being straight forward.
- Your ambitions for the future: Getting full-time status at work, hopefully settling in with my pet/lady Taylor/Zisa/Fuzzy.

LAYER THREE: THOUGHTS
- Your first thoughts waking up: Shit, another day.
- What you think about most: Taylor, paying off my debt, finding a better place to live.
- What you think about before bed: Roleplay characters/scenarios, this story that is stuck in the back of my head which is a blatant 'ripoff' or 'sequel' to the Descent novelization.
- You think your best quality is: My resilience, I've yet to come across anything I could not rebound back from. I'm honest to a fault as well to those I respect and trust.

LAYER FOUR: WHAT'S BETTER?
- Single or group dates: Never really been on many dates honestly so I can't really answer one way or another; from what I do know I'd have to say single dates, as you can focus on the other person you are with.
- To be loved or respected: That is the question now isn't it. I'd honestly say I'd prefer to be respected more than being loved overall.
- Beauty or brains: Why not both? I appreciate a person's aesthetic qualities as well as their intellectual capacity.
- Dogs or cats: Cats by far.

LAYER FIVE: DO YOU?
- Lie: I have lied before, I will lie again. It just depends on it it honestly behoves me to lie than to tell the truth.
- Believe in yourself: It depends, there are days when I believe in myself and days when I'd just rather let it all go to hell.
- Want someone: Taypet, remember no pants when checking the mail!

LAYER SIX: EVER?
- Been on stage: I did one or two simple small performances in college since I had nothing else to do.
- Done drugs: Never. Ever.
- Changed who you were to fit in: I don't know if I did change or not, if I did change I'd like to think it was for the better overall. Though I'm still a nerd and socially awkward with most people.

LAYER SEVEN: FAVORITES
- Favorite color: Green.
- Favorite animal: Wolf, Snake
- Favorite movie: Back to the Future Trilogy, The Matrix Trilogy, Transformers, Iron Man 1 and 2, Snatch
- Favorite game: Starcraft 2, World of Warcraft, anything MechWarrior/BattleTech related

LAYER EIGHT: AGE
- Day your next birthday will be: October 28
- How old will you be: 29
- Age you lost your virginity: 26
- Does age matter: Yes, but it is flexible.

LAYER NINE: IN A BOY OR GIRL
- Best personality: Loyalty, Honesty, Intelligence.
- Best eye color: Doesn't really matter to me.
- Best hair color: See above.
- Best thing to do with a partner: Spent time together, be friendly. Play and fool around sexually or innocently.

LAYER TEN: FINISH THE SENTENCE
- I love: Juice
- I feel: Scared and tired
- I hide: When I need to confront someone.
- I miss: The energy when you and I first became Master/pet.
- I wish: That I could be happy.

LAYER ELEVEN: I TAG
No one, I do not tag...I lure!