Brenton Tarrant

2019. Just when we thought the year would be shit, A NEW CHALLENGER APPEARS ^{(+2 others!)}: Brenton Tarrant^卐 – is a heroic Aussie IRL troll who took it upon himself to remove the Mooslem filth from a country whose existence was questionable at best; but real or not all experts agreed it was the last place on earth muslims should have been found. Before going on his rampage Brenton posted his manifesto to 4chan and 8chan; there, he namedropped famous Swedish neon-nazi PewDiePie and Norwegian WoW aficionado Anders Behring Breivik as inspirations. This resulted in massive amounts of lulz and butthurt from the lamestream media who took the massive shitpost of a manifesto at face value, including the ever-trustworthy (((CNN)))

Like every other white devil before and after him, Tarrant lacked originality, electing to lazily cover the same ground as ISIS by gunning down a bunch of unarmed civilians in a house of worship. Perhaps counterintuitively Brenton Tarrant believed that this would somehow influence the gun laws in an entirely different country culminating in a civil war that would end with his ascension to the coveted role of King of the white people. While many may consider the lucrative Kebab removal business to be a well-respected trade, this koala molester brought shame to the profession by painting all over each of his guns with autismal white nationalist slogans, the names of some dead European assholes, and memes more stale than the rice cakes in your grandma's cupboard. Leave it to an Australian to shitpost this hard in real life.

Combine Dylann Storm Roof and Anders Behring Breivik's incoherent ramblings about race, Elliot Rodger's emotional overreactions to seeing people he doesn't like, a healthy helping of the Unabomber's neo luddism, and sprinkle it all with Charles Manson's delusions of starting a race war (although this is also true for nearly every delusional mass shooter who writes a manifesto thinking they're going to start a revolution), and you will get this gay fucking manifesto, but with over 9000% more memes.

In his typo-laden, 80-page manifesto, full of old memes and gay poetry (including his own), Tarrant lays out his plan and worldview, which boils down to him seeing a bunch of niggers one time and getting so angry that he got in his car and drove off in a huff while crying like a bitch, which is why he now thinks a race war between whites and blacks in America can be started by an Australian's shooting up a mosque in New Zealand.

In-between trolling the normie media and inexplicable lapses into coherence Brenton explains his delusional grand plan which essentially boils down to: The liberals in the US repealing the second amendment (even though the shooting happened in another country); followed by a civil war that will divide the country by race (because he doesn't understand that black Republicans exist); somehow this will all end with with the revival of the white race, all thanks to him.

The reality is that New Zealand, which already had strict gun laws, took this opportunity to tighten them up even more, while planning to show their tolerance by increasing third world immigration; meanwhile, just like every other spree killer with a manifesto about how his actions will change the world, Brenton will spend the rest of his life in jail watching as nothing happens and everyone forgets him. This is hardly any sort of punishment since New Zealand jails are notoriously comfortable and in any case Brenton is Australian, thus the majority of his ancestors were probably career criminals used to life behind bars.

Before going on his shooting spree, Brenton posted a thread on 8chan and set up a livestream with his GoPro. All suited up, he advises his audience to "subscribe to PewDiePie". The video follows with him driving to his destination (the Masjid Al Noor mosque across the street from Hagley Park, the only large mosque in town, and a place that was previously suspected of generating violent radicals) while playing "Remove Kebab", Arthur Brown's "Fire", and the Initial D theme song "Gas". Thankfully, because it was a Friday in a heavily muslim colonised area of the city, traffic was light and he arrived quickly, so we are not subjected to his top ten anime theme songs and favorite YTPMVs. He goes down a narrow driveway and nearly gets stuck trying to turn around—so much for "careful planning".

After arriving, the British Grenadiers blasting out on his sound system, our protagonist grabs an AR-15 and a semi-auto shotgun and calmly makes his way towards the front entrance while bystanders pay no attention to what they assume is a brother returning home. He starts off the rampage stylishly with some shotgun blasts into the assembled crowd at the front door before finishing the job with his trusty black semiauto rifle. After emptying all of his mags into the piles of bodies, he stands bewildered, having nothing left to do, then walks back outside and grabs another AR-15, then walks back in and shoots the piled up bodies again for several minutes.

After that, he walks out AGAIN and shoots a bystander on the sidewalk. He stares at a can of gasoline he had in his trunk that he planned to use to burn the place down, but for some reason declares that there's no time left despite continuing to meander for another minute. Leaving some guns in the driveway (with a collection of /pol/ slogans written on them with white-out) he then mumbles "didn't go as planned", runs over the dead bystander and turns her into a halal speed bump, then nervously drives north on Deans Avenue, with several more loaded guns he no longer had a need for beside him in the front seat. Finally, he shoots out his own window at more passersby who are probably not even muslim, frantically turnes a couple of corners, and the stream ends.

There is currently news of several other suspects believed to be accomplices. There have been 2 bombs planted, that were disarmed, and a second shooting that was done either by Brenton or one of his associates, and ended with 7 dead after someone beat up the shooter and took his gun.

Eager to exploit a shooting for political gain before the bodies are even cold, every retard from every corner of the internet is now trying to out do one another in a contest of who can assign blame to the most random target. The contest is currently in a 3-way tie between people blaming GamerGate (despite the movement being over for 5 fucking years) and 8chan (including 4chan too), journalists accusing PewDiePie of orchestrating the shooting while mistaking the Navy SEAL Copypasta for the shooter's actual life story, and one Australian politician saying that the MudSlimes just had it coming.

Watching Tarrant go on his rampage with plenty of time to fuck around unmolested may lead you to believe that policing is a joke over in New Zealand. Think again, motherfucker! Being basically an extension of Bongistan, the kiwi police are scouring the web for any and all violations of Sharia law. A teenage kiwi is being held without bail and facing FOURTEEN YEARS in jail for re-posting the video of the shooting. Meanwhile, Null from the Kiwi Farms received a letter from NZ police demanding retention of posts and corresponding IP addresses so that they could go about vanning people for shitposting without a loicense. In Internet Tough Guy fashion, Null responded by insulting the police sergeant who sent the email, dropping his own powerword, and bragging that they can't touch him because he resides in Burgerland. That said, if you happen to live in New Zealand and also be guilty of posting stuff related to the massacre, expect to be dragged to prison and raped by a pack of maoris.