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Feels SO Good To Finally Let Go

By Synwolf, 8 years ago

Get your mind out of the gutter. Not THAT kinda "letting go". Tho given my last journal, guess I can't hold it against people if their minds go there. XD

Anyhoo...

http://synwolfjournal.blogspot.com/.....en-letter.html

*dusts off the Caps Lock key and reattaches it to her keyboard*

THE ABOVE LINK LEADS TO A BLOG ABOUT OLD DRAMA. IF THAT'S NOT YOUR CUP OF TEA, DON'T READ IT AND THEN COME BITCH AT ME. THAT'S THE FASTEST AND EASIEST WAY TO END UP ON MY BLOCK LIST. CONSIDER YOURSELF WARNED.

*pulls off the Caps Lock key off her keyboard and puts it away again*

With that now out of the way ... This blog has been a loooong time comin'. A lot of sitting on my hands, a lot of self-restraint, and a LOT of patience ... and for a time, I actually thought this blog would never get written, but given what's happened with Allan recently, and remembering that it was Allan drama that caused the falling out with the person the blog is about in the FIRST place ... a lot of angry thoughts and hurt feelings came back up to the surface.

I have a strong suspicion that sometime, someplace, he's going to try and rub this under the collective nose of WYS, so ... *sigh* wanted to purge all these feelings out before that had the chance to come to pass. I was afraid that if something HAD happened before I did, the overflow would have caused me to be less capable of wording all this with any semblance of civility. And I didn't want it to read like a psychotic shrieking rant.

TL;DR - Here thar be drama. Don't click the link if drama blogs/journals make you rage.

34 comments

User replies

#link Posted: 8 years ago

Wow..
That was really powerful. I wasn't aware of all that happened and such but I'm really sorry that you went through that experience.
Just..wow.
Good for you for letting your feelings be known, And it doesn't sound like a rant at all.

#link Posted: 8 years ago

My goodness, thank you SO much! I'me extremely humbled and flattered by the compliment. ^.^

Thank you for assuring me I wasn't sounding ranty. I also worried it might come off as seeming too ... "preachy" or that I might have made it sound like I was trying to put on airs, but ... that guy made me feel like a prisoner in my own skin for a LONG damn time. And I'm STILL picking up the pieces and trying to move forward. It was ... empowering ... to finally purge all those foul feelings and allow myself the chance to fully recover someday.

The experience--both the argument AND the WYS incident--I had with him is something I honestly could not bring myself to wish on even my very WORST of enemies. Not even HIM. He may THINK he has endured what I have but no ... he REALLY, really hasn't. He's very good at PRETENDING to be the victim but that's about it. If someone every did to him what he's done to me, I would truthfully feel EXTREME pity for him. It was as humbling as it was painful.

#link Posted: 8 years ago

But I like my mind being in the gutter. ):

*hugs* Well, it's unfortunate that he'll likely never stop being mad, because, I mean, this is him of all people we're talkin' about here. He apparently has NOTHING better to do with his life than be mad at people on the internet, as completely evidenced by his hovering around forums, *chans, and etc, for HOURS on end waiting for people to say something, ANYTHING about him.

Meanwhile, you, I, and many others, do productive things throughout our day-to-day lives.

What does Sniff do? Rage like a little bitch just 'cause someone called him a doodoo head on the internet.

#link Posted: 8 years ago

You pretty much hit the nail RIGHT on the head. He he's COMPELLED to live the way he does. Short of an ACTUAL intervention, I don't foresee him ever getting his shit together and doing something of value with his life. And even then, that's debatable. He'd maybe improve for, like ... a week or two. Then it'd be back to the same old thing.

In all honesty? If I didn't loathe him so much, I'd feel sorry for him. =/

#link Posted: 8 years ago

You and me both.

I may not have a job yet myself due to the economy being really bad down here, AND the fact that I'm kind of still in a developing area, but at least I do something productive every day. Either I do some work on my writing, or I clean around the house, even!

It's honestly just SAD how he hovers around forums and the like waiting for people to say something about him. :/ I'm not even that obsessive about video games. >.>;

#link Posted: 8 years ago

Same, I just don't have the TIME anymore to get so engrossed in games. When I have the free time for it between everything else, I play, but ... THAT'S about it.

I'm willing to bet that all Sniff EVER does is be on the internet and get mad. Hence why he has to roommate with people just to get by and apply for financial government assistance--too unable or too unwilling to make anything of himself.

#link Posted: 8 years ago

Wow...

Right... The HELL on! That was just; there... there are no words to properly describe how much authoritative arse that blog handed out... I had no idea he had become such an infatuated and infantile stalker.

You said it all so clearly; and that gave it much more voice and sheer moving power to me... All while maintaining a strong level of maturity. No rage from me, Syn; I'm totally behind you another 167% on toppa my other hundred and some ^^

SniffHeiney really needs to just... <pauses; feeling a rant coming on> Actually; I'll be a bit more mature and let that one go ^^

#link Posted: 8 years ago

Thanks, that EXACTLY how I hoped it would read. Hope it inspires others who have been in similar shoes and walked similar roads. I know it sure as hell would have helped ME to find something like this, when I was in the midsts of it all. =/

But good for you. He doesn't deserve the effort.

#link Posted: 8 years ago

Somehow I think I'm glad I missed out on all this crapo.

#link Posted: 8 years ago

Yes--you dodged a MASSIVE bullet. With BOTH incidents, really. >_<

#link Posted: 8 years ago

"Its not the bullet with my name on it I'm worried about - it's all the ones that say 'Occupant' that scare me."

#link Posted: 8 years ago

HAH! Nice. XD

#link Posted: 8 years ago

Yeah I've been wondering if he's tried to contact you anymore or if anymore action has been taken against him. Though as far as what's happened with Allan recently. It honestly makes me kind of glad I didn't put the journal up I was thinking about that was along the lines of that one that Dragoneer put up. ^^;

#link Posted: 8 years ago

Thankfully and mercifully, he hasn't, ever since Sniff found out that I actually WAS able to successfully get a case opened against him. He pretty much avoided me like the plague after that, because he KNEW any further harassment on his part would be reported and added to my case. About the only smart move he's ever made. I think the contact from the authorities also took him down several pegs and pretty much enforced the idea that contacting me would be a REALLY bad idea.

And Allan, we'll ... *sigh* you read my feelings on THAT in his WYS thread. I'm still pretty fucking pissed about the whole shit. >_<;;

#link Posted: 8 years ago

Heh I was thinking the one thing you said about Sniff right before I read it there. ^^;

But yeah he's even tried talking to me a bit on Yahoo and I'm just being blunt with him as usual. He still doesn't really seem to be able to take it because he'll continue to stop talking for a while. ^^;

#link Posted: 8 years ago

Sniff STILL tried to talk to you? o_O

#link Posted: 8 years ago

Oh no sorry that was supposed to be about the second part. ^^; I should have specified as in Allan. ^^;

#link Posted: 8 years ago

Ohhhh gotcha. I'd be pretty damn surprised if he still contacted you. XD

#link Posted: 8 years ago

Yeah I don't think Sniff would anymore with everything that had happened. More than likely he's just blocked and deleted me, which I should go do the same. >.>

#link Posted: 8 years ago

Yea. I know what it likes to deal with absolutely strange, awful, perverted, hurtful, cruel, twisted, and damaged people. It's no fun, and I'm glad you talked about it -nodnod-.

Getting these things out in such a well articulated manner can be the best cure to the disease for some.

#link Posted: 8 years ago

Thank you! ^_^

That's one thing I always pride myself upon. Even if I'm belligerent, even if I'm rude, and hell, even if I'm WRONG (I know; hard to believe, but that ACTUALLY happens sometimes ^_~) ... I try my best to express myself as clearly and concisely as possible. Not out of a sense of superiority or ego or anything, but merely because it's the only way I feel right conducting myself.

And yes, this little "exercise" helped QUITE a lot in my recovery. =3

#link Posted: 8 years ago

Hooray for clarity and intelligence! *throws arms up into the air and whoops*.

#link Posted: 8 years ago

I started reading a bit and got TOTALLY lost... and scared for you, hunny. Will read more and comment later. Is that the "Allan" we both know? I thought you were at peace with him.

#link Posted: 8 years ago

Well Allan wasn't the person to whom this is dedicated, but he fucked up BADLY and got himself banned from the WYS forums run by

SilverAutomatic

Sniff was against us encouraging him to improve and be optimistic, and that's what set off the drama that ran him off FA. But as I said in the blog, he's been doing me great harm LONG before the incident with WYS a few months ago. =/

Thankfully, it's been a long time since he's tried to target me personally and I assume that's because being contacted by the authorities scared him into silence, when he realized antagonizing me further could land him in legal hot water. But you'll see all of that once you get the chance to read through it completely. ^_^

*hugs* Don't gotta worry about me, Moosie. Scared as I was at the time, if it had come to the worst, I was fully capable and ready to protect myself, my animals, and my family. =3

#link Posted: 8 years ago

bitch bitch bitch

I kid :D

*nosebumps*

Glad your getting this off your chest

#link Posted: 8 years ago

Stop pointing out what she is. D=

#link Posted: 8 years ago

Wait what did you just call syn a bitch or am I mis-reading this? X3

#link Posted: 8 years ago

Hehe oh she already knows she is. So yeah I basically am. x3

#link Posted: 8 years ago

Damn straight! NOW GET ME SOME POT AND A TAMPON!!! *blows rainbow smoke from a cigarette*

#link Posted: 8 years ago

Well, I'm half wolf and a female canne is a bitch, sooooo... ^________^

#link Posted: 8 years ago

Well if your half wolf, your only half bitch you silly *nosebumps*

#link Posted: 8 years ago

Even so, I'm proud of my bitchiness! ^____________________^

#link Posted: 8 years ago

hehehe we need to talk more *glues you to steam*

#link Posted: 8 years ago

o.o *blinks, mane blown back* whoa...