Clothes make the man
This saying describes the effect your clothing can have on your fellow human beings and yourself. I always criticized it for supporting materialistic assumptions and stereotypes, but I think I finally understood its true meaning.
I never really cared about my appearance and only bought cheap clothes when the old stuff was done. I didn’t mind wearing the same sweater all year long and was proud to not follow the fashion fanatics until I randomly discovered an eye-catching button-down shirt about half a year ago. It fitted perfectly and still not knowing what I did, I was willing to pay 80€ and wore it the very next day going to university. I got about five compliments from my fellow students that day and despite knowing that this is very superficially, it made me feel better. I started to love the shirt and its effect so much that I decided to invest a little more and really went shopping for the first time in my life. I did not deliberately buy expensive or fashionable stuff, but clothes I really liked. I developed my own style (arguably like a modern-day Newt Scamander, but I keep bow ties and vests for special occasions) and the recognition I got at my university was just mind-blowing. It was no longer just about compliments, but I got to date a seemingly unreachable girl and got into a lot of conversation.
Unsurprisingly, I never got into a relationship with her, returned to /r/depression about a month ago and started to snub myself for wasting money on an illusion of social acceptance.
But now I feel like there is much more to this story. The clothes didn’t just affect my surroundings, but also myself and I wasn’t showing-off material, but personality. For the last couple of months, I was able to look at myself in the mirror, talk to other human beings and keep my head up outside. It is weird, but I am sure that my clothing style is really helping me to be myself and raises my low self-esteem.
Maybe one day I do no longer rely on those shirts to be myself, but for the moment I am thankful for the way I shaped myself and proud to be able to ignore the people calling me bourgeois.
TL;DR: I bought a dressy shirt, got complimented, developed my style and ultimately realized that it finally made me show some personality.
Hey, I think that I'm starting to go through the same thing that you did.
Ally life I've never cared about the cloths I wore and prided myself on not being into fashion and trends. But up until recently I've found that wearing nicer cloths like button-ups and sweaters have made me feel a lot better about myself. I've never been depressed but I do think that my self-esteem Is lower than average.
After having a ex girlfriend point out that I would look good if I wore some button-ups or sweaters I got a nice sweater few months ago, and i love wearing it. It makes me feel worthwhile to dress nicely. So I went out and bought a button-up and a sweater shit past week. Even though we had broken up, she really made me think about how I present myself.
I was the same way for a while. I recently discovered sweaters are where it's at. I've gone from never wearing them to wearing them at least twice a week. I tend to get compliments every now and then on them and they are more comfortable than any sweatshirt.
From like October to April I literally wear a sweater or cardigan everyday. They are so versatile and have so much variety to fabrics, colours and textures, easily my favourite clothing item category
banana republic has some nice ones, but be sure to check what they are made of, avoid artificial fibers. Woolovers is pretty good as well, they have some heavy knit 100% pure wool ones (very warm and hard to wear inside heated environments), I like LL Bean for some of theirs, J Crew has some good stuff, Uniqlo can be decent at times too. You can go high end too, but if you're just getting into knitwear maybe start out with these companies then figure a style you like and look into Scottish made stuff.
JCrew has some nice ones, they can be a bit pricey but they generally have sales on them.
Significantly more pricy then the other recommendations ($150-300), but I really like Howlin' by Morrison sweaters
I used to get a lot of stuff from J. Crew, but now I have diversified my wardrobe. I really like the end of the season sales at some higher end department stores (Nordstrom is my go-to) since you can get some pretty good deals. Last year I got a Hugo Boss 100% merino wool sweater for ~80 (it was 40% off) and I get compliments every time I wear it.
https://www.reddit.com/r/malefashionadvice/wiki/itemguides#wiki_item_suggestions_at_each_price_point
Look for the sweater ones.
I'm gonna say it's a no on that one chief.
But I will still buy things I like and can afford. I'm not into brands but I do care about what I wear more often now.
Well never mind. You do you and that is great!
What you'll learn is that you will grow along with your taste in clothes. If you love what you're wearing then there's a certain level of self-love that you've achieved and I appreciate your sharing this story. Keep on going!
I grew a beard about two years ago, and put in some dress sense work.
Since then I’ve been happier with myself.
It’s certainly got a superficial aspect, but how people see things does affect us, as does how we see ourselves, and I feel better like this.
So I think for me, it was a matter of looking more like the person I wished I could be, and finding out that it was possible that helped me feel more at ease in my own skin.
it was a matter of looking more like the person I wished I could be, and finding out that it was possible that helped me feel more at ease in my own skin.
Very well said.
Everyone's experience is different.
Changed from t-shirt with beaten sneakers everyday to a much better style with pretty much perfectly fitting button downs with nice shoes (and better jeans or chinos instead of them) and it didn't get me any compliments during last half of year, except for one person fancying one pair of boots I wear.
It's important to dress for yourself, without needing the approval of others, because you might not get it.
As the saying goes, "Always put your best foot forward".
I forgot who said it, but "The number 1 reason why you dress properly is because you respect yourself."
Congratulations bro!
This is the reason I am into fashion.
Because looking good makes me feel a shit load better about myself. As dumb as that may sound.
There was an article on here maybe a week ago talking about wearing nice clothes is showing respect to the people around you.
Would you invite your friends over to your house if it looked like shit and you hadn't cleaned in a couple of weeks? You would if you diddnt have respect for them.
Poor comparison. Since you could have a clean house/apt that is just decorated in bad taste, that would be the equivalent of being clean and hygienic, but wearing stuff that doesn't look good on you.
I think this argument works better if you talk about clean, well-fitting clothes rather than nice clothes. I interpreted nice as expensive at first.
Couldnt agree more, and the best part is you dont need to be half as commited as most of the folks on this subreddit to see results.
Additionally, it's way easier than hitting the gym though you should do that too if you're keen in self improvement.
Take it from a guy who has moderate/severe psoriasis. Appearance matters.
I decided I want to take my life back. Time to put away those hoodies and t-shirts for good. I'm 26 now and want to look like a pro.
I went up to the value village and bought a dark blue formal-ish wool winter coat for 21 bucks. Within the first week countless people mentioned how nice I look. All I do is wear it with my black jeans over my simple grey hoodie and that alone was a big boost.
I play too many games, I spend too much time at home. I dont have a whole lot of skills, but I grabbed two tasteful scarves from value village for 2 bucks apiece. One creme, one green, and sometimes that can completely transform a coat.
Then I bought some semi-expensive (139USD) shoes that were in line with current trends. Wore them to the bar for only a couple hours and no less than three people pointed them out. If that's not proof I dont know what is.
I am a short dude and coats looks comical on me no matter how slim coats I try. What I recommend to you is to try a Peacoat. Those jackets look awesome on short guys. I ended up buying one for me.
I’m going through or went through much of what you described, except more in my middle age.
I dressed like crap most of my life until March of this year. I went, from what others said was a good looking guy, to turning half the heads of women in a room I walk into. I like it but at times it makes me feel really self-conscious.
Forums like this, StyleForum, /r/frugalmensfashion taught me a lot in conjunction with getting paid more at my job.
It really does make the man. Not only with women but with anyone. It shows women that you can take care of yourself which means you can take care of them. No women wants a science project on their hands or to be a Mom and dress up their boyfriend. It shows that you are responsible and you definitely get treated with more respect.
Im kinda on the same boat. Im a quiet guy, so I thought improving my fashion sense can help show off my hidden personality, but holy shit I didn't think it'd have such a big effect!
I wore a light pink hoodie today, first time doing something like that. This is VERY different from my usual black / grey, first thing off the closet getup. Instant 5 compliments when I walked into work, and I felt great just looking down and seeing such a fun color on me. Felt like you can't not smile when your wearing pink!
Almost exactly the same thing happened to me between my junior and senior year of high school.
Oddly enough, between them and now, my style has a changed to a more basic streetwear-inspired style for my day-to-day fits with more dressing-up for special events, but I am still getting all of the benefits that came along with my first individual fashion revolution.
It definitely has to do with how people see you and how they perceive you before they even interact with you. However, I think for me, how confident I am is directly related to how I dress and I would reckon it’s similar for a lot of the guys drawn to this subreddit or any other fashion-based subreddits.
Well, I’m kind of in the same boat. Going through a divorce, trying to find a style I like without going broke, and trying to stay positive. I’ve never been very confident in myself or the way I dress, and I’m always looking for a little guidance. Hopefully I can figure it out, too.
I am not at home at the moment, but this one is pretty similar. Mine has some red details, but OLYMP does always produce limited amounts and moves on to a new variation afterwards.
https://www.olymp.com/de_de/Hemden/OLYMP-Trachtenhemd/body-fit/Button-down/Blau/p/39102415/
I love the detail and mix between fancy Bavarian and modern business. I can basically wear it everywhere and it fits perfectly.
I went on buying the red analog and became more extrovert since (I am wearing a pink shirt with purple details at the moment). OLYMP really seems to have become my brand as I basically love almost every detailed slim shirt they produce, but Eterna and equals are great, too.
That's awesome! I love dressing up nicely, to be honest. I love how I look wearing a button-down shirt, tie, slacks, and dress shoes. I always look very handsome, and I love to admire how nice I look in the mirror. My dad always compliments how nice I look, and I hope to take some pictures of myself wearing one in the near few months. I would agree with that statement 100%! I will also wear my shirts and ties to church pretty much every Sunday!
I personally think style is one of the most essential things to showing who we are. Clothes are often your first impression, along with how you present yourself. Who would you rather talk to? Someone that is dressed nicely and clearly takes care of themself, or someone who puts very little effort and thought into how they want to be seen?
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