This is another question I’ve had trouble answering succinctly, but this is a good opportunity to figure out a good way to do it. Forgive me if it’s not too cohesive.

To this day, I still can not tell you why I like what I like, and I don’t know that I ever will be able to. Regardless, it’s undeniable that I crave size and masculinity. Not a controversial position of course - it’s popular opinion that a guy with muscles is more attractive than not, a beer gut (while not mainstream attractive) is considered pretty manly, and of course everyone would like a bigger dick.

But for whatever reason, that’s never been enough for me. From day one, I found myself unsatisfied with what most people considered “big.” It’s not an accident that I found GReg’s videos in my early days, I sought them out. I wanted to see the biggest muscles, the fattest bodies and the biggest dicks. I was never satisfied, and a big reason I started drawing - no one even drew the sizes I wanted to see.

To me, it’s not enough to have muscles. I dream of being overburdened with mass; grotesquely huge, with arms so thick I could touch the peak of my own bicep, a chest swollen and protruding several feet forward, all muscles nearly useless from their own limited range of motion.

To me, it’s not enough to be fat. I dream of being on the cusp of immobility; forced to take slow, plodding, and thunderous steps wherever I go, constantly out of breath, limited in every way by the fat that envelops my entire body.

To me, it’s not enough to have a big dick. I dream of a package so big I could barely walk; with a shaft as thick as a can of paint, and balls so big and pendulous they hang down to my knees like beach balls.

That’s the common thread - excessive size. Overwhelming, impractical size. Size that is limiting and burdensome. Size turned up to 11. What nearly everyone would turn their nose up in disgust at, and declare stupid and “too big,” that’s what I like, and that’s what I want to be.

That’s where silicone ticks all the right boxes. It’s appealing because it’s freaky and unnatural-looking. Because it’s all thickness and no length in your shaft, you quickly look overinflated, and eventually engulf your own head with thickness. It’s the perfect combination of size and freakiness beyond the point of practicality. It’s unappealing to most people, but that’s exactly how I like it.

I know I’ll never live the dreams I have of the extreme sizes mentioned above (which is why I end up drawing it instead). Some men are capable of achieving pretty extreme sizes, but I know my genetic and (especially when it comes to silicone) practical limits. Still, I intend to come as close as I can.

Every time my bulge grows, I feel a little closer to my goal. Every pound I gain, every inch of new mass I measure, I feel more like the “me” I dream about. It does make me more confident in myself, not because I want everyone to envy me—quite the contrary, I want them to find me excessive and weird—but rather because I feel more comfortable in my own body. It feels right.

It’s a bit embarrassing to write out like this, because it seems shallow (and probably not all that unique of a mentality, from what I’m learning from you all), but it’s a part of me that I cannot deny. Growing in any way gives me immense fulfillment and satisfaction, and in the end that’s why I do this.