Keyboard Shortcuts

Keyboard shortcuts are available for common actions and site navigation.

Skip to content
  • Home Home Home, current page.
  • Moments Moments Moments, current page.

Saved searches

  • Remove
  • In this conversation
    Verified accountProtected Tweets @
  • Language: English
    • Bahasa Indonesia
    • Bahasa Melayu
    • Català
    • Čeština
    • Dansk
    • Deutsch
    • English UK
    • Español
    • Filipino
    • Français
    • Hrvatski
    • Italiano
    • Magyar
    • Nederlands
    • Norsk
    • Polski
    • Português
    • Română
    • Slovenčina
    • Suomi
    • Svenska
    • Tiếng Việt
    • Türkçe
    • Ελληνικά
    • Български език
    • Русский
    • Српски
    • Українська мова
    • עִבְרִית
    • العربية
    • فارسی
    • मराठी
    • हिन्दी
    • বাংলা
    • ગુજરાતી
    • தமிழ்
    • ಕನ್ನಡ
    • ภาษาไทย
    • 한국어
    • 日本語
    • 简体中文
    • 繁體中文
  • Have an account? Log in
    Have an account?
    · Forgot password?

    New to Twitter?
    Sign up
michaelianblack's profile
Michael Ian Black
Michael Ian Black
Michael Ian Black
Verified account
@michaelianblack

Tweets

Michael Ian BlackVerified account

@michaelianblack

Nine years in the NFL. Two rings.

The wilds of Connecticut
michaelianblack.com
Joined February 2009

Tweets

  • © 2018 Twitter
  • About
  • Help Center
  • Terms
  • Privacy policy
  • Cookies
  • Ads info
Dismiss
Previous
Next

Go to a person's profile

  • In this conversation
    Verified accountProtected Tweets @

Promote this Tweet

Block

  • Tweet with a location

    You can add location information to your Tweets, such as your city or precise location, from the web and via third-party applications. You always have the option to delete your Tweet location history. Learn more

    Your lists

    Create a new list


    Under 100 characters, optional

    Privacy

    Copy link to Tweet

    Embed this Tweet

    Embed this Video

    Add this Tweet to your website by copying the code below. Learn more

    Add this video to your website by copying the code below. Learn more

    Hmm, there was a problem reaching the server.

    By embedding Twitter content in your website or app, you are agreeing to the Twitter Developer Agreement and Developer Policy.

    Preview

    Why you're seeing this ad

    Log in to Twitter

    · Forgot password?
    Don't have an account? Sign up »

    Sign up for Twitter

    Not on Twitter? Sign up, tune into the things you care about, and get updates as they happen.

    Sign up
    Have an account? Log in »

    Two-way (sending and receiving) short codes:

    Country Code For customers of
    United States 40404 (any)
    Canada 21212 (any)
    United Kingdom 86444 Vodafone, Orange, 3, O2
    Brazil 40404 Nextel, TIM
    Haiti 40404 Digicel, Voila
    Ireland 51210 Vodafone, O2
    India 53000 Bharti Airtel, Videocon, Reliance
    Indonesia 89887 AXIS, 3, Telkomsel, Indosat, XL Axiata
    Italy 4880804 Wind
    3424486444 Vodafone
    » See SMS short codes for other countries

    Confirmation

     

    Welcome home!

    This timeline is where you’ll spend most of your time, getting instant updates about what matters to you.

    Tweets not working for you?

    Hover over the profile pic and click the Following button to unfollow any account.

    Say a lot with a little

    When you see a Tweet you love, tap the heart — it lets the person who wrote it know you shared the love.

    Spread the word

    The fastest way to share someone else’s Tweet with your followers is with a Retweet. Tap the icon to send it instantly.

    Join the conversation

    Add your thoughts about any Tweet with a Reply. Find a topic you’re passionate about, and jump right in.

    Learn the latest

    Get instant insight into what people are talking about now.

    Get more of what you love

    Follow more accounts to get instant updates about topics you care about.

    Find what's happening

    See the latest conversations about any topic instantly.

    Never miss a Moment

    Catch up instantly on the best stories happening as they unfold.

    Michael Ian Black‏Verified account @michaelianblack 14 Jan 2012

    Football's over. Guess I'll thank Jesus, kill some dogs, and molest a girl in a bathroom, If you need a ride home, I'm driving.

    8:41 PM - 14 Jan 2012
    • 380 Retweets
    • 145 Likes
    • Scout Pecfex lizard Lil Toaster Oven mike caulfield eric price Robin G. 🤹🏻‍♀️ KRANG TractorFreak
    69 replies 380 retweets 145 likes
      1. New conversation
      2. Outspoken Cat Lady‏ @sweetymoon 4 Dec 2017
        Replying to @michaelianblack

        WTF are you talking about man?

        2 replies 1 retweet 9 likes
      3. Tweet unavailable
      4. Michael Ian Black‏Verified account @michaelianblack 4 Dec 2017
        Replying to @DroidCommission @sweetymoon

        I'm guessing it's in reference to football players thanking Jesus, but having shitbags in the league like Michael Vick, Ben Rothlisburger, then somebody doing something terrible while driving?

        4 replies 0 retweets 1 like
      5. Outspoken Cat Lady‏ @sweetymoon 4 Dec 2017
        Replying to @michaelianblack @DroidCommission

        Generalizing people is a bad thing.

        0 replies 0 retweets 5 likes
      6. End of conversation
      1. New conversation
      2. Doc Frenchy‏ @docfrenchy Jul 21
        Replying to @michaelianblack @DanOHerrin

        You aren’t even mildly amusing anymore.

        4 replies 1 retweet 16 likes
      3.  🍽Biscuits & Gravy 🍽‏ @MyNameIsPaulB 18m18 minutes ago
        Replying to @docfrenchy @michaelianblack @DanOHerrin

        You aren’t even mildly American. #Maga

        1 reply 0 retweets 5 likes
      4. 1 more reply
      1. New conversation
      2. SpiffTheSpaceMan gab.ai/SpiffTheSpaceman‏ @SpiffDSpaceman Jul 20
        Replying to @michaelianblack

        For Posteritypic.twitter.com/dcJC9L4SGg

        1 reply 3 retweets 7 likes
      3. John Titor‏ @JohnQAnonTitor Jul 20
        Replying to @SpiffDSpaceman @igguldypigguldy @michaelianblack

        Yeah. Michael can't escape his own Tweets. #QAnon #Pedogate

        0 replies 0 retweets 4 likes
      4. End of conversation
      1. Logan Scott‏ @loganscottG Jul 21
        Replying to @michaelianblack @Cernovich

        @FBI

        0 replies 1 retweet 6 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. New conversation
      2. Miz Kitteh #LadyHunters‏ @MissKitteh87 Jul 20
        Replying to @RenegadeMaste12 @michaelianblack

        cause in hollywood you are not in the cool club if u dont stick ur dick in kids.

        1 reply 1 retweet 1 like
      3. Bells‏ @i_bells89 Jul 21
        Replying to @MissKitteh87 @RenegadeMaste12 @michaelianblack

        pic.twitter.com/waX8JAoD6W

        1 reply 0 retweets 1 like
      4. Miz Kitteh #LadyHunters‏ @MissKitteh87 Jul 21
        Replying to @i_bells89 @RenegadeMaste12 @michaelianblack

        lmao

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
      5. End of conversation
      1. New conversation
      2. Laura Kay‏ @laurakayl Jul 21
        Replying to @michaelianblack @Cernovich

        Please let me know when you get around young kids. I'm gonna need to have a lil chat with you. 😉😉 Anytime, day or night. I'll be there, hunny. Just lmk. 😁

        1 reply 0 retweets 2 likes
      3. Laura Kay‏ @laurakayl Jul 21
        Replying to @laurakayl @michaelianblack @Cernovich

        I live in the south so by hunny, I mean....😘

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
      4. End of conversation
      1. New conversation
      2. Maria‏ @HaziDays Jul 21
        Replying to @michaelianblack

        @AnOpenSecret

        1 reply 1 retweet 2 likes
      3. 1 more reply
      1. New conversation
      2. project528‏ @project528 Jul 20
        Replying to @michaelianblack @Cernovich

        What the fuck is wrong with these people?!?! Jokes about HAVING SEX WITH CHILDREN are NOT ok.

        1 reply 0 retweets 3 likes
      3. Abyss‏ @AbyssNecro Jul 21
        Replying to @project528 @michaelianblack @Cernovich

        People call women girls all the time, it's a 6 year old tweet, at a time when football player Ben Rothlisberger was in a scandal for sexually assaulting a women in a bathroom stall. There is your context, feel like apologizing?

        1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes
      4. project528‏ @project528 Jul 21
        Replying to @AbyssNecro @michaelianblack @Cernovich

        Nope. To many other pedo-esque tweets. No apology.

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
      5. End of conversation

    Loading seems to be taking a while.

    Twitter may be over capacity or experiencing a momentary hiccup. Try again or visit Twitter Status for more information.

      Promoted Tweet

      false

      • © 2018 Twitter
      • About
      • Help Center
      • Terms
      • Privacy policy
      • Cookies
      • Ads info