I'm an Iranian 25 year old female, Muslim by name. Recently started dating my best friend of 6 years. He is Chinese, Christian by name. I couldn't be happier and its the first time that I feel like I will go all the way if he is willing. I'm ready to stand my ground and fight for my relationship with him.
I have always had courters that I turned down and recently one came around that my parents told me about. I think they were excited because he was a great prospect. I turned him down and got a long lecture from my dad. He said "if you are saying no because you have someone then tell us so we can say no to the courters from the beginning ourselves." they are open to the idea of me finding my own partner but I don't know how they will react to a non-muslim. When the time is right I will tell them and see what happens.
I'm so happy you have asked this question because for months I was researching this same topic and couldn't find the community I was looking for.
Where is your grandad from? I have seen this done in Iran before. It's extremely amazing.
Excuse me, are you an engineer?
I work at a large engineering company. It was the end of the day and I was walking to my car. I was busy on my phone when a man behind me called out to me. The conversation we had is below. This happened to me today. (Excuse any grammatical errors)
Him: Excuse me... Are you an engineer?
Me: Yes.
I continue walking to my car and doing something on my phone. I think to myself how the question was so random. Hoping to God he isn't being sexist.
Him: I ask because I thought to myself, someone as beautiful as you cant be an engineer. I thought you were HR.
Me: ohhh nooo
Im extremely shocked. He actually said what I was affraid he was think. I didnt know how to respond to him.
He asked me about other things like where I sit and how I like the work. I get to my car and start putting my things inside to get ready to leave. He was about to leave me alone when my name sparked more interest.
Him: Its nice to meat you my name is (i forgot his name). What's yours?
I tell him my name. Had to say it multiple times. Which is normal since my name is "unique".
Him: where are you from?
Me: Iran
Him: oh thats why! That makes sense. (Most likely using country of origin as justification for being attractive and smart)
Me: ...
Him: how did you fly here?
Me: what? I was raised here.
Him: ohhh. What school did you go to?
I said the name of my Uni
Him: ohh okay I went to UTA. Did you study masters or just bachelors?
Me: Bachelors.
Him: ohhh. Will you continue your studies? (Most likely judging me that I didn't study masters)
Me: Eventually. (He found this funny)
Him: So, you were raised in the US. When did you move to the US then?
Me: When I was 4.
Him: laughs then you arent Iranian.
Me: laughing out of shock Excuse me, yes, I am.
Him: Do you even remember anything about Iran, how it looks?
Me: Yes, I visit often.
Him: ohhh your parents live there?
Me: No, the rest of my family lives there... I'm going to leave now.
Him: Yes, you should.
I got in my car and drove off.
I'm so shocked this happened I find it funny.
Apparently, a female can't be beautiful and smart. The only justification is if you come from a country that is known for it's studious youth. And you cannot identify with a culture unless you were raised in the specific country.
I wish I could say that this was the first time I have dealt with this kind of sexism, racism, and bias but it isn't. America lacks women in STEM and the few who are in STEM fields face this kind of bias in one form or another everyday.
I never prepared myself for this kind of encounter. What would you have said or done if you were in my place?
When I make comments about how men feel entitled to women's time and since they are not, they should just leave us the fuck alone in public, this is what I am talking about.
Seriously, the fucking nerve on that guy.
You did the right thing, in that you got out of the situation safely. Normally, I try not to give as much personal information as you did. Just remember that no one is entitled to your time, or your attention, and when people rudely force you give them your time and attention there is nothing wrong with responding rudely in turn. But also, be careful, because you never how these guys are going to react.
I always think of how I should have reacted or what I should have said after the fact. I'm always so polite regardless of how people act. I always think to myself how i would hate it if I made the person feel bad.
Lol good because the score is 8-2 my favor. Yeah my pick up line for her was when we had calc 2 together and I asked her for help to solve a series that produced my number. Ended up not working and I said that the answer was supposed to be my number but this proves I need help. (Sheepishly asked for her number to study) After that had a date and a study partner.
That's a clever and cute way! Better than offending her with back handed compliments lmao.
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I met him back in college over summer break. We were both part of the salsa dance organization at our uni. We both had our own relationships and over time we became best friends. He was there for me through everything, all the breakups and all my successes. Then one day, about 6yrs later, he decided to leave the country and I started to get confused with all the different feelings I had for him. So I visited him overseas and the rest is history.
Wait, I'm new here, someone explain this to me. Iv never seen pollen like this.
Can’t wait to make it to the East Coast. Where else have you been in Taiwan?
I also visited Taipei, Taichung, and Tainan. Where have you been?
I live in Tainan. Been to Taipei, Kenting, and Xiao Liuqu.
How awesome!! I loved Taiwan so much I didn't want to come back to the States. I hope to go back soon :)
Where?
I saw these the other day 😂 poor bikes what wrong have they done?
Was there two days ago right at sunset. It was spectacular. My pictures aren’t as good as this one but they will suffice.
Should I buy a new car or just make some updates to current one?
I own a 2011 Ford Fiesta has about 60K miles on it. Owned it since 2011. Its always had some issue or another. My plan was to drive it till it died but during these summer heats I cant stand it. I always start dreaming about selling it and buying a new car. I hate how hot it can get so I tried getting tint. I went with standard tint and that only helped with privacy. Not to mention the defrost lines on the back window + the tint cause this horrible light deflection at night so I might have to get that taken off. Should I pay up more money to get better tint that has heat reduction or should I just treat myself to a new car?
I'm asking here because I wanted to save money to buy a house and I'm not sure if buying a new car would be a good idea.
I know this may seem trivial but its been bothering me and I cant decide what I want to do. Any advice will be appreciated.
You don't have A/C? You will still get the sun in the car even if you get a new car. Instead of tinting, try some window shades like this and this for rear window. Along with windshield shade, your car will be much cooler, if you park your car under a tree but then you might have to deal with bird droppings or tree sap, which is another issue altogether.
I forgot to mention my AC doesn't work that well. It can't keep up with the Texas heat. Also, Texas doesn't have trees and I'm always parked in an open lot. It really sucks.
Thanks for the idea I like the rear window shade.
Edit: Texas has trees but they aren't abundant is what I meant.
