NAKED

MY DEPRESSION
  
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I feel like the weight of the world is on top of me.
It is crushing me like it doesn't even realize I am there.
So many things and thoughts racing through your head,
like a monster truck in the night life.
But somehow it breaks down and you're left there, broken.
I see things around me,
they all have a meaning,
their presence is there for a reason.
But I am numb to those reasons.
And I feel like I am suffocated by just the air that I breathe.
My heart feels like it weighs 10,000 pounds.
My tears feel like their 700 degrees hot.
There are so many people in this world and yet I feel like I am the only one here.
I hear the birds, I do.
I see the trees outside.
I hear the cars going down my street.
The sun is out, not a cloud in sight.
But I feel like everything is so out of reach.
I've been laying here for hours,
trying to find a reason to get up.
What happens when nothing is worth the pain?
The sadness?
The tears?
I feel like I am drowning in my own depression.
Can you see it?
The people who care about me, can you see it?
Do you want to help me?
So many people tell me I need to see a Doctor but they don't know how I truly feel.
They don't know the void that I have inside of me.
A small, circular pill will not take this feeling away.
No matter how much people want to drug me, 
tell me to take medicine, 
I know I will forever feel this way.
It's like I am staring at a million people and they are all staring back at me but they see through me,
like clean glass.
I can scream all I want but my screams are muffled out by selfish voices.
  
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-ALR (April 2017) 
  
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