I'm new and very confused

[Solaraptor]

So uh... for the last 2 years, I've identified as being either bi or lesbian. Now I don't know if I ever actually felt sexual attraction. I'm stumped. I know that I have felt romantic attraction to both males and females, but only fictional ones. So yeah, this is why I'm here. 

 

Hello to everyone here.

[AnotherAmericanAce]

Welcome!

and don't worry, if you don't know, that's always okay!

(CAKE FOR ALL WHO WANT CAKE)   I had to pick the rainbow one, it looks so good!

[Solaraptor]

  On January 5, 2017 at 8:57 AM, AnotherAmericanAce said:

Welcome!

and don't worry, if you don't know, that's always okay!

(CAKE FOR ALL WHO WANT CAKE)   I had to pick the rainbow one, it looks so good!

Thanks! That cake looks delish. ^^

[AVEN #1 fan]

Welcome!

 

Well, there's some labels I can suggest you to look upon:

Bi-fictoromantic - one who feels crushes for fictional characters from 2 different genders.

 

 

Sexual attraction is when you desire, fantasize or get attached sexually with another person. When you find one sexy.

[Solaraptor]

  On January 5, 2017 at 9:00 AM, AVEN #1 fan said:

Welcome!

 

Well, there's some labels I can suggest you to look upon:

Bi-fictoromantic - one who feels crushes for fictional characters from 2 different genders.

 

 

Sexual attraction is when you desire, fantasize or get attached sexually with another person. When you find one sexy.

Thank you. Bi-fictoromantic? Yeah I'll definitely have to look that up. I guess I have never desired to have sex with another person. 

 

Edit: I looked it up, and it doesn't seem to be recognized as a legit romantic orientation. I'm not a fictophile.

[Star Bit]

What do you mean it's not recognized as a legit romantic orientation?? As in you googled it and didn't get any or few results on it? Doesn't mean it's not real, just that probably fictosexual is more common. Fictoromantic is under the Gray-aromantic umbrella (which can also be used as a title if you dont want to give out that TMI; basically meaning the person is effectively aromantic but not actually; which is an important distinction because then calling them aro gets alot of wires corssed and can cause a mess-- will elaborate if requested). The point of an orientation is to advertise who is applicable to you, and since you aren't interested in anyone IRL alot would kinda view that as false advertisement to go by bi or even gay; kinda like ppl getting annoyed at someone who identifies as bi but says they intentionally will never date one gender. Yes, you could add the detail of you being a bi-fictoromantic, but it really doesn't serve any purpose, though again you perfectly can.

[AVEN #1 fan]

  On January 5, 2017 at 10:35 AM, Star Bit said:

What do you mean it's not recognized as a legit romantic orientation?? As in you googled it and didn't get any or few results on it? Doesn't mean it's not real, just that probably fictosexual is more common. Fictoromantic is under the Gray-aromantic umbrella (which can also be used as a title if you dont want to give out that TMI; basically meaning the person is effectively aromantic but not actually; which is an important distinction because then calling them aro gets alot of wires corssed and can cause a mess-- will elaborate if requested). The point of an orientation is to advertise who is applicable to you, and since you aren't interested in anyone IRL alot would kinda view that as false advertisement to go by bi or even gay; kinda like ppl getting annoyed at someone who identifies as bi but says they intentionally will never date one gender. Yes, you could add the detail of you being a bi-fictoromantic, but it really doesn't serve any purpose, though again you perfectly can.

She could just say she's not into dating real people?  a lot easier. She could still go in relationships if she wanted.

[Star Bit]

Yah, but then not everyone will reiterate that detail of not being into real ppl and then they could get false advertisement; "i heard you're bi" and then they have to go through the trouble of "i guess you didn't hear the detail that I'm not into real ppl". They could even face hate from this. So really, to me, the easiest option would to just go by Gray-aro.

[Solaraptor]

@~@ I can be into real people, but I just haven't yet. Idk. All of these labels are turning my brain into mush. 

[AVEN #1 fan]

  On January 5, 2017 at 10:41 AM, Star Bit said:

Yah, but then not everyone will reiterate that detail of not being into real ppl and then they could get false advertisement; "i heard you're bi" and then they have to go through the trouble of "i guess you didn't hear the detail that I'm not into real ppl". They could even face hate from this. So really, to me, the easiest option would to just go by Gray-aro.

We broke her... oops

[Solaraptor]

Lol

[Star Bit]

  On January 5, 2017 at 10:57 AM, Solaraptor said:

@~@ I can be into real people, but I just haven't yet. Idk. All of these labels are turning my brain into mush. 

If you haven't yet then you can't say you CAN be into real people. Your orientation should be based on fact not theory.

 

About the brain mush. Basically you just need to know 3 things; asexuality, aromanticism, and the gray spectrum. Or put more simply, two lines that go from black to white to gray (though technically asexuality/aromanticism should be white because it's the absence of sexuality/romanticism).

Asexuality is not desiring any type of sex with anyone, Aromanticism is not getting crushes and not desiring a relationship, and the Gray spectrum is for abnormal romantic/sexual people. More specifically Gray-romanticism and Gray-sexuality are the desire for romance/sex under unusual circumstances; like demisexual, or rarely sexually/romantically desiring anyone. And Gray-asexual and Gray-aromantic are for people who are technically sexual or romantic but for whatever reason are effectively aromantic or asexual (e.g. desire sex but don't want it IRL).

[Solaraptor]

  On January 5, 2017 at 11:53 AM, Star Bit said:

If you haven't yet then you can't say you CAN be into real people. Your orientation should be based on fact not theory.

 

About the brain mush. Basically you just need to know 3 things; asexuality, aromanticism, and the gray spectrum. Or put more simply, two lines that go from black to white to gray (though technically asexuality/aromanticism should be white because it's the absence of sexuality/romanticism).

Asexuality is not desiring any type of sex with anyone, Aromanticism is not getting crushes and not desiring a relationship, and the Gray spectrum is for abnormal romantic/sexual people. More specifically Gray-romanticism and Gray-sexuality are the desire for romance/sex under unusual circumstances; like demisexual, or rarely sexually/romantically desiring anyone. And Gray-asexual and Gray-aromantic are for people who are technically sexual or romantic but for whatever reason are effectively aromantic or asexual (e.g. desire sex but don't want it IRL).

Ooohhh okay. Thanks for the info!

[kelico]

Welcome to AVEN! Thank you for joining! It seems like you're on the road to self-discovery. : ) It's not easy always easy, though. So take your time! You'll find others that can relate to you here. Best wishes, and I hope you enjoy being a member!

 

[Solaraptor]

  On January 5, 2017 at 3:26 PM, kelico said:

Welcome to AVEN! Thank you for joining! It seems like you're on the road to self-discovery. : ) It's not easy always easy, though. So take your time! You'll find others that can relate to you here. Best wishes, and I hope you enjoy being a member!

 

Thanks! More cake! Lol