Why Pronouns Are Important
Pronouns, also known as “I,” “they,” “she,” “he,” “we,” “hers” and many others, are a part of our daily English language. We use pronouns as a way to identify or refer to someone.
What are Gender Neutral Pronouns?
Gender neutral or gender inclusive pronouns are unspecific to one gender. Using gender neutral pronouns does not label or associate the person being discussed with a specific gender. This is especially important for people who don’t identify with their assigned gender at birth. Physical sex does not determine gender. In other words, genitals do not equal gender. Rather than assume someone’s pronouns based on their perceived gender or appearance, it’s crucial to ask what their pronouns are.
A common misconception or trend these days is to say PGPs for Preferred Gender Pronouns. However, for many people, their pronouns are not preferred, they are mandatory.
Examples of Gender Neutral Pronouns
An example of gender neutral pronouns is the use of “they.”
- Instead of saying “He’s going home,” one would say “They’re going home.”
- “Jesse is in the same class as me, so I’ll study with them.” Here, we can see that Jesse is not associated with a particular gender. Jesse’s pronouns are they/them/theirs.
Use the term “y’all” instead of “you guys,” or “welcome everyone” instead of “welcome ladies and gentlemen” to incorporate gender inclusive language when addressing a group of people.
If someone were to greet a group of people saying “Hey guys,” it leaves out all the other people who are present and may not identify as men. There could be women, gender queer, trans or gender non-binary folks in the group. In a world where these groups of people are often left out of the conversation, it’s important to include them rather than to assume their identities.
Misgendering
One’s gender can be communicated with the use of pronouns, so mistaking their pronouns mistakes their gender. Therefore, it’s important to respect pronouns as it validates a person's identity. Misgendering is when someone’s pronouns are not respected, which can be an act of violence. Disrespecting a transgender person’s pronouns could threaten their safety and jeopardize their security.
It’s important to remember that even if someone looks cisgender or appears to look like a man or woman, it doesn’t mean you can assume their pronouns. Remember to ask about pronouns when you meet someone or introduce yourself using your pronouns to let others know your pronouns preference. Using pronouns creates safer and more inclusive spaces for people to be themselves knowing that other people are going to respect their identity.
Start the Conversation
It can take time to get someone’s pronouns right. Try your best. Apologize if you do make a mistake and correct it. Don’t make it awkward. Remember that respecting someone means also respecting their pronouns.
Here are some definitions from the UC Davis LGBTQIA Resource Center to help you get started:
- Gender queer: A person whose gender identity and/or gender expression falls outside of the dominant societal norm for their assigned sex, is beyond genders, or is some combination of them.
- Non-binary: A gender identity and experience that embraces a full universe of expressions and ways of being that resonate for an individual. It may be an active resistance to binary gender expectations and/or an intentional creation of new unbounded ideas of self within the world. For some people who identify as non-binary, there may be overlap with other concepts and identities like gender expansive and gender non-conforming.
- Transgender: Adjective used most often as an umbrella term and frequently abbreviated to “trans” or “trans*” (the asterisk indicates the option to fill in the appropriate label, e.g., trans man). It describes a wide range of identities and experiences of people whose gender identity and/or expression differs from conventional expectations based on their assigned sex at birth. Not all trans people undergo medical transition (surgery or hormones).
Some commonly held definitions of transgender:
- Someone whose determination of their sex and/or gender is not universally considered valid; someone whose behavior or expression does not “match” their assigned sex according to society.
- A gender outside of the man/woman binary.
- Having no gender or multiple genders.
- Cisgender: A gender identity, or performance in a gender role, that society deems to match the person’s assigned sex at birth. The prefix cis- means "on this side of" or "not across." This term is used to call attention to the privilege of people who are not transgender.
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