ニュージーランド短期語学留学の話題が続きます。
仲介者の語学学校から、ホストファミリーに自己紹介のEメールを送ることを奨められている。ま、そりゃそうだろう。
留学ハンドブックに例文が載っていたが、シチュエーションは学生が主人公で、直接の参考にはならなかった。部分的には参考にしたものの、結局ほぼ自力ででっち上げた。
非ネイティブが書いた英文は、ネイティブのチェックを経ないと、使い物にならないという知識がある。英会話レッスンの折に講師にチェックを依頼したら、快く応じてくれた。
私が書いた元の英文は、これ。
10 March 2018
Dear XXX,
My name is Yyy WWWW. Thank you for accepting me as a hostfamily.
The travel agent told me your email address so I sent a short letter to
introduce myself.
I'm a 56-year-old-man live in Aichi Prefecture, central part of Japan, work
as ...
I like reading books, posting blogs and short messages on SNS, and
playing the guitar.
I was told you keep some cats and a dog. That's no problem because I
like puppies and kitties, but the problem is sometimes they don't like me!
I wish they would love me :_(
Anyway, I'm an old man and a long sleeper. While the school is off, I
would like to be stay in room and take rest. Please take account.
If there's something to ask, please email me.
New Zealand is said one of the most beautiful country on the earth. This is
my first visit to New Zealand. I'm looking forward to visiting and meeting
you.
Best regards!
--
Yyy WWWW
email@address.com
固有名詞など、一部伏字にしています。
細かいミスは免れまいが、内心まあまあのデキなのではないかと自画自賛していた。TOEIC換算895点の語学力は、ネイティブの目から見たら、いかに？ TOEIC換算云々の根拠は 2月14日付記事 参照。
スポンサーリンク
結果は、こうだった。
10 March 2018
Dear XXX,
Wwww (lower case) being my
My name is Yyy
WWWW. Thank you foraccepting me as ahostfamily.
wanted to send
The travel agent told me your email address so I
senta short letter tointroduce myself.
living ∧ in the ∧ and
I'm a 56-year-old-man
livein Aichi Prefecture, central part of Japan, workas ...
I like reading books, posting blogs
andshort messages on SNS, andplaying the guitar.
New Zealand is said to be one of the most beautiful countries on the
earth. This is my first visit to New Zealand, so I'm very exited.
I was told you keep some cats and a dog. That's no problem because I
animals
like
puppies and kitties, but the problem is sometimes they don't like me!hope your pets like me :-D
I
wish they would love me :_(a little older and tend to need more sleep, so I will probably
Anyway, I'm
an old man and a long sleeper. While the school is off, Irest after school.
would like to be stay in room and take rest. Please take account.you have any questions
If
there's something to ask, please email me.
New Zealand is said one of the most beautiful country on the earth. This is
my first visit to New Zealand.I'm looking forward tovisiting andmeetingyou.
Best regards!
--
Yyy WWWW
email@address.com
わはははは、真っ赤 (T▽T;
あらずもがなの注釈をいくつか。全部ではない。
元の文3行目、姓名の姓を大文字にするのは、どちらが姓かを明示するため、論文の署名などでよく行われるが、私信にはそぐわないらしい。
12行目、“puppies and kitties” は “too childish” とのこと。
ネイティブ講師が一番長考したのは17行目（下から7行目）の “New Zealand is ...” で、“good closing” と言ってくれつつも、前の方に移動した。
その他、言い回しの変更や文法ミスに関しても、私なりに納得できるものだった。ごそっと移動した文の中の country → countries とか。
あと、謙遜系やネガティブ系の表現が、ばっさりやられてるなぁ。顔文字も “:_(” から “:-D” に変更されとるし。
修正後の文章を再掲すると、こうかな？
10 March 2018
Dear XXX,
My name is Yyy Wwwww. Thank you for being my host family.
The travel agent told me your email address so I wanted to send a short
letter to introduce myself.
I'm a 56-year-old-man living in Aichi Prefecture in the central part of
Japan and work as ...
I like reading books, posting blogs short messages on SNS, and
playing the guitar.
New Zealand is said to be one of the most beautiful countries on the
earth. This is my first visit to New Zealand, so I'm very exited.
I was told you keep some cats and a dog. That's no problem because I
like animals, but the problem is sometimes they don't like me!
I hope your pets like me :-D
Anyway, I'm a little older and tend to need more sleep, so I will probably
rest after school.
If you have any questions, please email me.
I'm looking forward to meeting you.
Best regards!
--
Yyy Wwww
email@address.com
ネイティブへの道は遠い。つか多分、自分の身の程を知ることが肝要なのだろう。少なくともブログ一回分のネタにはなったと、せめて前向きに考えることにしよう (T▽T;