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See, that’s what the app is perfect for.

Sounds perfect Wahhhh, I don’t wanna
etirabys
ensyme

my American gf: pound me
me: what’s that in metric

bugboytoes

My British gf: pound me
Me: what’s that in dollars

slatestarscratchpad

My US expatriate in fascist Italy gf: pound me
Me:

For three years, out of key with his time,
He strove to resuscitate the dead art
Of poetry; to maintain “the sublime”
In the old sense. Wrong from the start—
 
No, hardly, but, seeing he had been born
In a half savage country, out of date;
Bent resolutely on wringing lilies from the acorn;
Capaneus; trout for factitious bait:
 
“Idmen gar toi panth, os eni Troie
Caught in the unstopped ear;
Giving the rocks small lee-way
The chopped seas held him, therefore, that year.
 
His true Penelope was Flaubert,
He fished by obstinate isles;
Observed the elegance of Circe’s hair
Rather than the mottoes on sun-dials.
 
Unaffected by “the march of events,”
He passed from men’s memory in l’an trentiesme
De son eage; the case presents
No adjunct to the Muses’ diadem.

Source: ensyme