20.9k
20.9k

👀 (i.redd.it)

Phoenix7Fawkes が 投稿

全 159 件のコメント
並べ替え:
ベスト
トップ新着論争中古い順Q&A

[–]1a2b3c8 874 ポイント875 ポイント  (46子コメント)

The only thing more terrifying than finding a spider is losing a spider.

[–]sloppyjoes7 263 ポイント264 ポイント  (36子コメント)

It's hiding until dark. As soon as night comes and you're sleeping peacefully in your bed, the spider will walk up your sheets, attracted to the warmth of your skin, and across your face, seeking a dark warm moist hole to make its nest.

[–]EDGY_USERNAME_I_USE 183 ポイント184 ポイント  (17子コメント)

ಠ_ಠ

[–]_demetri_ 329 ポイント330 ポイント  (8子コメント)

/╲/\╭( ͡° ͡° ͜ʖ ͡° ͡°)╮/\╱\

[–]jumpuptothesky 126 ポイント127 ポイント  (4子コメント)

Why are you so seductive mr spider 😩💦💦🍆🙈

[–]but_then_i_got_highh 36 ポイント37 ポイント  (1子コメント)

YAASSS DADDDY SPIDER ME THE FUCK UPP😩

[–]I_SHAG_REDHEADS 39 ポイント40 ポイント  (1子コメント)

My 8 legs baby you liek?

[–]MiskatonicUGraduate 27 ポイント28 ポイント  (0子コメント)

Nope. I'm out, bye.

ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ

[–]iArrow 5 ポイント6 ポイント  (1子コメント)

Jesus fuck. Kill it with fire.

[–]Ms_Ellie_Jelly 22 ポイント23 ポイント  (0子コメント)

Hot

[–]Cessnaporsche01 8 ポイント9 ポイント  (2子コメント)

And in the course of that search, it will make its way under your covers and down your body. Down to places where spiders really shouldn't be.

[–]racoonfundungeon 6 ポイント7 ポイント  (1子コメント)

Okay so no joke right, yesterday my hip was itching me so I go to scratch myself and feel something squishy and small between my skin and pants, jump up, freak out, yes there was a huge spider under my clothes..... nearly threw up

[–]Bitch_McBaby 6 ポイント7 ポイント  (0子コメント)

.... and now I feel spiders crawling all over me, thanks buddy.

[–]havenless 6 ポイント7 ポイント  (5子コメント)

http://www.scaryforkids.com/pics/red-spot.jpg

[–]HailToTheThief225 7 ポイント8 ポイント  (4子コメント)

"scaryforkids.com"

I think that picture entails more than scary for kids

[–]mediumrarechicken 3 ポイント4 ポイント  (2子コメント)

Its from a kids book of ghost stories.

[–]Iorith 2 ポイント3 ポイント  (0子コメント)

Scary Stories To Tell In The Dark, if you're wondering. And every picture was like this.

[–]Deltamon 1 ポイント2 ポイント  (0子コメント)

Those things were the worst.. I was reading one of those kind books while sleeping in a small sleeping quarter that was made to part of attic in an older home middle of woods.. Worst possible place for it, especially since there was a fire exit right behind the window that I was sleeping next to.

Luckily I had enough pillows to block it while going to sleep.

[–]Iorith 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (0子コメント)

Scary Stories To Tell In The Dark is the name of the original book, if you're wondering. And every picture was like this.

[–]Fufuplatters 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (0子コメント)

Poor Sokka

[–]1a2b3c8 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (2子コメント)

I lost a spider in my room last week..

[–]spooc 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (0子コメント)

I intentionally lost one this week. I hope it eats all the little insects it finds.

[–]owenprescott 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (0子コメント)

Don't worry there's always plenty more spiders hanging around in the house.

[–]CSTutor 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (0子コメント)

Seeing that damn spider walk across Jim Carrey's face scared the crap out of me as a kid

[–]CreamedCornTheGod 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (0子コメント)

Jokes on you, I sleep with my mouth closed.

[–]70astralaxe 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (0子コメント)

thatsmyfetish.gif

[–]RafeHaab 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (0子コメント)

Joke's on it, I sleep with a rag in my mouth to avoid unwanted visitors.

[–]ThisFckinGuy 19 ポイント20 ポイント  (2子コメント)

I have a half finished basement that I set up as my cave and have the occasional spider or centipede down there. The other day I finished a game and was leaving and there was this huge black dot on the floor that I didn't remember being there before and I literally did the Scooby-Doo halting stop. This fucking thing was the size of a half dollar coin and was blocking the stairway. I manage to turn the light setting higher to get a better look but I was like how the fuck am I gonna kill this thing? I start slowly looking around for something to smash it with but I kept thinking about that line from Usual Suspects "how can I shoot the devil in the back? What if I miss?" I can't spray this fucking rat sized spider with bug spray it'll just piss it off and as I'm looking for something to use I had to walk into the closet area and when I came back FUCKING TWO SECONDS LATER it's gone. After curling up in a corner and crying like Matt Damon in Saving Private Ryan I see it scurry out from the pantry and stop by the stairs and just felt the adrenaline surge and I grabbed this bowed piece of wood that I had and dropped it and let it roll onto the spider and crush it. It took me five minutes to build the courage to lift it up to make sure it was dead. The fuck outta my house man.

[–]GoSuckStartA50Cal 4 ポイント5 ポイント  (0子コメント)

curling up in a corner and crying like Matt Damon in Saving Private Ryan

lol [8]

[–]Blue-eyedSoul 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (0子コメント)

Arachnophobia type shit

[–]Kafka_Valokas 9 ポイント10 ポイント  (0子コメント)

It is like I always say: The only thing more terrifying than spider in a corner is a corner where a spider should be.

[–]TotallyNotAdamWest 2 ポイント3 ポイント  (0子コメント)

You should leave the spiders be. They eat all the other nasty bugs you don't see because they do a great fucking job.

[–]MVPanthersFan11 1 ポイント2 ポイント  (0子コメント)

/r/showerthoughts

[–]achodeisstilladick 1 ポイント2 ポイント  (0子コメント)

Spider lives matter

[–]chocosmith 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (0子コメント)

I feel the opposite, We have a Huntsman in our flat, I like her, she keeps away all the bugs. I get sad when I can't find it in the morning.

I wouldn't feel this way about a white tail or red back though

[–]Deltamon 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (0子コメント)

And then you have to slowly lift things that you think it's hiding behind..

[–]SadBaguette 104 ポイント105 ポイント  (14子コメント)

More like when you try to get it with a vacuum cleaner but you're not sure it got in or jumped somewhere.

[–]MIGHTY_ANUS 48 ポイント49 ポイント  (12子コメント)

A vacuum cleaner is only a temporary solution. You know it'll crawl out, but you don't know when. The ultimate terror indeed. The best solution is to make it your god and accept that you're now a peasant, ruled by Satan himself.

[–]Three_Muscatoots 28 ポイント29 ポイント  (11子コメント)

Dude no there's no way they crawl out. They just die. I hope.

[–]Ahegaoisreal 14 ポイント15 ポイント  (7子コメント)

Why not? Spiders are tough. There is quite a chance it's still alive in the vacuum cleaners' bag. And then all it has to do is just walk out through a tunnel. Just smack them with a shoe first.

[–]Three_Muscatoots 15 ポイント16 ポイント  (0子コメント)

I should never have used my own vacuum to clean up the haunted house next door...

[–]SAHARA101 9 ポイント10 ポイント  (5子コメント)

Spiders are actually really weak physically. If they fall on their backs from a small height they tend to die.

[–]Ahegaoisreal 7 ポイント8 ポイント  (4子コメント)

Ok, but usually the inside of the bag is filled with shit like hair, dust and fur. It's a light fall.

[–]SAHARA101 12 ポイント13 ポイント  (2子コメント)

Nah, they'll die unless they're the Hercules of spiders. The trip in the tube wouldn't be smooth.

[–]Ahegaoisreal 3 ポイント4 ポイント  (1子コメント)

You actually make me sad because I really like spiders and have always considered them to be cool-ass tough warriors of the small animals kingdom.

Don't destroy the rest of my childhood. ;(

[–]SAHARA101 9 ポイント10 ポイント  (0子コメント)

I'd say their toughness comes from their smarts! They can spin beautiful webs to catch insects, they're smart enough to know to spin a web quickly if they're falling, and the ones that aren't known for their web spinning are masters of ambushing their prey! They're still cool and tough just not physically strong haha!

Edit: and also, if they didn't exist we'd be constantly covered with bugs because they have such an important role in population control.

[–]Ferndo401 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (0子コメント)

I'm pretty sure there's some like gate that stops things from coming back out of the vacuum

[–]Blue-eyedSoul 9 ポイント10 ポイント  (1子コメント)

Vacuum spider > quickly clog up end of vacuum with concrete > put vacuum cleaner in vault > put vault in car via forklift > drive to nearest dam or bridge > put brick on accelerator > jump out of car.

[–]shea241 3 ポイント4 ポイント  (0子コメント)

the dust clogs up their book lungs probably

but just in case, put tape over the end of the hose

[–]eMYKion 10 ポイント11 ポイント  (0子コメント)

Or when the vacuum accelerates the spider but it misses the nozzle so its coming directly toward your face.

[–]bark_wahlberg 52 ポイント53 ポイント  (5子コメント)

I don't really have a problem with spiders but when this happens with a roach I suddenly feel like I'm in Alien.

[–]HailToTheThief225 22 ポイント23 ポイント  (4子コメント)

Dude for real. I'll go near spiders and kill them with ease, hell I might as well talk about their failed marriage and find them a spider counselor to help them through their spider life before I kill them. But roaches. I will burn my house down and move to China if I find out I'm alone with a fucking roach.

[–]bark_wahlberg 7 ポイント8 ポイント  (0子コメント)

Nuke it from orbit it's the on- actually that probably won't work.

[–]rrr598 8 ポイント9 ポイント  (2子コメント)

My house in South Carolina was infested with palmetto bugs. We didn't know this when we moved in, but we soon became aware.

It was hell.

We left that house, but I don't think I'll ever be quite the same.

[–]darkparts 5 ポイント6 ポイント  (0子コメント)

I lived there for a few years as a kid and those big motherfuckers traumatized me. My little sister and I once trapped one under a shoebox because we were to afraid to squish it. We waited until our dad got home and made him deal with it.

[–]chrt 2 ポイント3 ポイント  (0子コメント)

Fuck palmetto bugs. FUCK Palmetto bugs. Fuckers are the size of hummingbirds and they fly like them too.

[–]TisTheWindAndNothing 68 ポイント69 ポイント  (11子コメント)

Shit, this happened to me last night with a black widow in the garage :(

[–]one-punch-knockout 25 ポイント26 ポイント  (4子コメント)

                                                                  🕸

            🕷

🕸

[–]SAHARA101 7 ポイント8 ポイント  (0子コメント)

Fuck you! I nearly had a heart attack!

[–]AadilF1 4 ポイント5 ポイント  (1子コメント)

Can someone post a screenshot for mobile users

[–]Cyan_Ninja 4 ポイント5 ポイント  (0子コメント)

Get slide for Reddit you could see it then if your on iOS there's a beta for the small app to.

[–]tomastaz 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (0子コメント)

Oh shit I actually mini jumped

[–]TheRhaneMan 44 ポイント45 ポイント  (0子コメント)

RIP

[–]Munoobinater 16 ポイント17 ポイント  (1子コメント)

U ded. u hella ded

[–]Throwawaystd88508 5 ポイント6 ポイント  (1子コメント)

No worries black widows are chill as fuck unless you mess with them (i.e. shes stylin all warm and cozy in your clothes when you decide you wanna wear her outfit, or she's gettin a refreshing drink when you shit in her water, or you steal her man before she has the chance to murder and eat him) They're really very peaceful spiders.

[–]TisTheWindAndNothing 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (0子コメント)

What about brown widows? Cause i have those too...

[–]Nihiliszt 13 ポイント14 ポイント  (1子コメント)

Or when you kill it and can't find the corpse.

[–]JustHere4RedditPorn 25 ポイント26 ポイント  (0子コメント)

I saw an upside-down centipede in my room with its legs all curled up like its dead. Left the room and came back in and the fucker was gone. Slept on the couch for a month.

[–]PlatinumWitch 14 ポイント15 ポイント  (2子コメント)

One time in fourth grade there was a large wood spider on the floor of my bedroom I smashed it with a kids bible because it was the only thing within reaching distance. It took me hours to work up the courage to lift the book and clean the crime scene, but.... When I did.... The spider wasn't there. I could have sworn I heard it crunch. Fucking anti Christ spider.

[–]vonzeppelin 2 ポイント3 ポイント  (1子コメント)

Not an anti Christ but probably a kind of zombie spider.

[–]CGB_Zach 33 ポイント34 ポイント  (9子コメント)

I take the risk of just slapping it with whatever limb moves the fastest. I know one day this will fail.

[–]MIGHTY_ANUS 27 ポイント28 ポイント  (1子コメント)

It failed me this week. I slapped it, it fell, I couldn't find it. I moved.

[–]headingtoabyss 7 ポイント8 ポイント  (0子コメント)

I noticed my master is moving, so I jumped into one of his bag. This new apartment is real nice. - spider bro.

[–]but_then_i_got_highh 3 ポイント4 ポイント  (1子コメント)

but then you get teh nasty spider goo all over u

[–]CGB_Zach 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (0子コメント)

That's how I absorb its power, one crushed spider at a time.

[–]Ahegaoisreal 2 ポイント3 ポイント  (2子コメント)

Used to do that and a fucker bit me once.

[–]lulucy22 2 ポイント3 ポイント  (1子コメント)

Are you the new Spider-Man?

[–]Ahegaoisreal 4 ポイント5 ポイント  (0子コメント)

THE COVER IS BLOWN!

*slings away on a web

[–]RPTGSGDW 1 ポイント2 ポイント  (0子コメント)

Please don't slap spiders with your dick

[–]PSN-Colinp42 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (0子コメント)

Had to do this the other day when I saw one on its way down from the ceiling. Not enough time to do anything else without losing it so I just clapped it between my hands. It was a little one. But yeah years ago in an old apartment there was a big one in my room with yellow on it. YELLOW. If I had failed to kill it? I was leaving.

[–]vaniwazhere 7 ポイント8 ポイント  (2子コメント)

What's why I always grab the nearest weapon in the room to kill El spider. Shoe, magazine, trash can, human...

[–]Realman77 4 ポイント5 ポイント  (1子コメント)

Shotgun, thermonuclear weapon,

[–]vaniwazhere 2 ポイント3 ポイント  (0子コメント)

If it was hanfy, then hell yea!

[–]Jar545 18 ポイント19 ポイント  (3子コメント)

Don't kill spider's. I'm sure a sufficating amount of mosquitos is more scary

[–]PABuzz 6 ポイント7 ポイント  (0子コメント)

Lil' spider is just grabbing something to kill a human. He'll be back.

[–]zmose 6 ポイント7 ポイント  (2子コメント)

TIP: Immediately take your shoe off and bitchslap that fucker back to the Forbidden Forest.

[–]Phoenix7Fawkes[S] 2 ポイント3 ポイント  (0子コメント)

A+ or O for outstanding

[–]PSN-Colinp42 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (0子コメント)

Who hangs around their house with shoes on?!

[–]Rockfrk 4 ポイント5 ポイント  (0子コメント)

spiders are bros. roaches on the other hand....

[–]JezusTheCarpenter 3 ポイント4 ポイント  (1子コメント)

I leave in UK and its nice to live in a place that you know you can safely handle the spider and gently encourage it to leave the premises without risk of dying in the process.

[–]Djbrr 4 ポイント5 ポイント  (0子コメント)

Y'all don't have no killer spiders there???

[–]SandManic42 4 ポイント5 ポイント  (0子コメント)

Runescape Jesus.

[–]Djbrr 2 ポイント3 ポイント  (2子コメント)

This is a huge reason I stopped killing spiders in the first place. I figured they knew and they were gonna come and find me later as payback for my evil thoughts.

God, maybe I'm a paranoid schizophrenic.. yup Web md confirmed, am paranoid schizophrenic. Damn spiders

[–]PSN-Colinp42 1 ポイント2 ポイント  (1子コメント)

Wait a minute....WEB md?!?! Them spiders are cat fishing you!!!

[–]PetersPickleParking 6 ポイント7 ポイント  (0子コメント)

Nah he's just watching the world masturbate

[–]what_do_beans_do 2 ポイント3 ポイント  (0子コメント)

This me me laughing

"hahaha"

[–]rude_xo 6 ポイント7 ポイント  (2子コメント)

Oh that meme except it has been worded slightly differently again.

[–]WickedHaute 1 ポイント2 ポイント  (0子コメント)

Wasps dude. I randomly get a wasp every once in a while...go to grab a smackey thing..it's fucking gone.

[–]goofyazzbritt 1 ポイント2 ポイント  (0子コメント)

😂😂😂😂😊

[–]isleepinsocks3 1 ポイント2 ポイント  (0子コメント)

The only thing more terrifying is itching that tickle and finding a centipede on you

[–]bugxter 1 ポイント2 ポイント  (0子コメント)

Cockroaches man... Fucking scary roaches..

[–]MegasMagas 1 ポイント2 ポイント  (0子コメント)

Man's seen some shit

[–]Ledot3 1 ポイント2 ポイント  (0子コメント)

"Jesus fucking Christ where did that spider go"

[–]budnipp 1 ポイント2 ポイント  (0子コメント)

More like "When you kill a spider, but when you come back with something to wipe it up, it's gone."

[–]nighttwolf93 1 ポイント2 ポイント  (0子コメント)

4 months later you spot the same damn spider in a corner buff as ever. Lifting the same weights you promised yourself you were gonna lift, ready to whoop that ass.

[–]runujhkj 1 ポイント2 ポイント  (2子コメント)

Everyone should watch the movie Enemy withJake Gyllenhaal. It’s good. There’s a spider in it.

[–]REiiGN 2 ポイント3 ポイント  (1子コメント)

That's like telling everyone to watch IT because there's a spider in it.

[–]runujhkj 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (0子コメント)

Not really. My movie’s got a spider in the first minute or two. Spiders are a main motif of the film. IT’s more about that clown guy than the spiders.

[–]ThaddeusJP 1 ポイント2 ポイント  (0子コメント)

St Jude has seen some shit, I tell ya.

[–]HughJorgens 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (0子コメント)

He is concerned about all the sinning.

[–]MarioKartastrophe 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (0子コメント)

People should really be nice to spiders (and bumblebees)

[–]ArconC 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (0子コメント)

this is the exact feeling i get when playing prey

[–]RedX5Z 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (0子コメント)

JESUS CHRIST-

[–]supershitposting 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (0子コメント)

every fucking time.

[–]ecarsc7 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (0子コメント)

Looks like Will Forte

[–]GonnSolo 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (0子コメント)

JESUS CHRIST WHERE DID MY SPIDER GO!?

[–]BeckiesBananas 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (0子コメント)

My wonderful fiancé chased me around the house with a big spider today. I'm still anxious he's hid it somewhere

[–]Talgboiii 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (0子コメント)

The meme where the toilet water's level begins to rise is funnier, but this is absolutely true

[–]mrtoothpick 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (0子コメント)

Looks like Moses found it. http://imgur.com/RsfuSyg

[–]varkarrus 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (0子コメント)

That's why you just punch it. Be tough and kill it with your bare hands.

Except I don't kill spiders, they're bros. I kill centipedes and flies.

[–]JustThatSub_ParMeme 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (0子コメント)

Dear Neptune

[–]someonewhosnotunique 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (0子コメント)

A little heart attack...

[–]qq4q 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (0子コメント)

you should try to move them outside instead of killing them

[–]7AV4 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (0子コメント)

That's why I just kill 'em with my hand because I'd rather deal with that fear and know they're dead

[–]YumikuriPF 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (0子コメント)

Normies

[–]thebadtuna 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (0子コメント)

Eight Legged Freaks > Arachnophobia any day of the week.

At least you can see the truck sized spiders before they kill you so you have a fighting chance.

[–]vadertheblack 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (0子コメント)

This meme is underutilized.

[–]rock12et 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (0子コメント)

what they do to jesus ?

[–]Painful_memes 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (0子コメント)

Not danj

[–]maltygos 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (0子コメント)

That is the face of ' that s not my son'

[–][deleted] 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (1子コメント)

Is that Jesus in the pic?

[–]LONGdongSHLIMMYshong 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (0子コメント)

Old but gold.

[–]dampaf 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (0子コメント)

I sexually identify as this meme

[–]pages5464 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (0子コメント)

username checks out

[–]eduardo1994 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (0子コメント)

When you see someone drop a $100 dollar bill into the offering basket.

[–]D13l -1 ポイント0 ポイント  (0子コメント)

His spider senses were tingling